Bisexual Vs Gay

[bkk1970]

Hi all,

This is a new topic that has crossed my mind since the past weekend.Here it goes:

I spent my past weekend with some gay friends among those a bisexual guy who claimed to be bisexual and underlined that he is not GAY.

As for me, I think that a bisexual guy is GAY too.

I don't know what you guys think about it.For me,a guy wether he is attracted to women or both genders,as long as he has sex with another guy is obligatorary a GAY.Don't you think so?My bisexual aquaintance seemed to be proud of himself and claimed"sorry,I'm bi but not gay".

haha....

[BambinA]

As for me, I think that a bisexual guy is GAY too.

I don't know what you guys think about it.For me,a guy wether he is attracted to women or both genders,as long as he has sex with another guy is obligatorary a GAY.Don't you think so?

i dont think so .. ok, i got yah point .. it sound like , sub-set with overlap ..

obviously you are a gay man, could i ask you something,please .. do you enjoy to have sex with girl? ( i mean "enjoy")

if not, well that's diff ..

- Bi - still enjoy to have sex with man and woman

-Gay- enjoy to have sex with only man

well .. i know .. plenty gay men used to married with woman , but its not happy,right? that's why u broke it up, follow your desire..and find other Mr.Right

[peter991]

Thanks BKK1970 for starting the topic and BambinA for the follow-up. Staistically speaking there is a whole range of sexuality from Totally Gay (on the left) to Totally Straight (Hetro) on the right.

I am sure PeaceBlondie, Expat and IJWT will (hopefully) be along to clarify things, but as I understood it (in Western society), 5% of the population is supposedly GAY and 5% is STRAIGHT. The remaining 90% could be classed as BISEXUAL - with leanings mostly to the GAY or STRAIGHT side.

Reading through the posts here on ThaiVisa, Thai people seem to have less of a problem regarding sexuality than us Westerners.

My Thai bf posed the question to me recently as we rode through his village and came across a group of Thai guys: "Who you like?" I told him that I was very happy with him and did not want anybody else.

He replied that ALL the Thai males in the group were "available" if I wanted them.

I take this to mean that Thai guys are not 'hung up' on their sexuality - that sex is as natural to them as eating, sleeping and breathing.

Peter

[PeaceBlondie]

A bisexual person is, by definition of beginning with the prefix 'bi,' both straight and gay. He (or she) isn't just gay or just straight.

Most homophobic people are like the racists of old, who believed that one drop of African/Negro blood made you a Negro. One gay sex act, committed at the age of 13 or 23 or 83, does not make that person gay. Likewise, one straight sex act does not make that person straight.

I made sex with my wife over 4,000 times and we made six babies, but I haven't even called myself 'bisexual' since 1991, because I haven't had sex with a woman since then, and haven't wanted to. Now my behavior is exclusively gay. Over my lifetime, you could say I've been both.

One swallow doesn't make a summer, and one swallow of semen doesn't make you gay.

[Guest endure]

I must be one of the 5%. I've been gay since I was 12. I simply couldn't imagine having sex with a woman. No sir!

[meom]

For me,a guy wether he is attracted to women or both genders,as long as he has sex with another guy is obligatorary a GAY.Don't you think so?

Some people that have spent time in prison might disagree with you.

[bkk1970]

For me,a guy wether he is attracted to women or both genders,as long as he has sex with another guy is obligatorary a GAY.Don't you think so?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Some people that have spent time in prison might disagree with you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Have not been to jail yet...but it can be my fantasies

In reply to BambinA,

I had an adventure longtime ago,when I was teen with a female professionnal,(I didn't enjoy it all). Since then,i have only had sex with males,so can I define myself as BI?

Maybe I was wrong and my Bi acquaintance was right over the past weekend.

Anyway,a couple of years ago over a conversation with a friend of mine about another guy for who I was falling in love,all I wanted to know was if he was rather bottom or top,since he claimed to be versatile,and this mattered to me as I'm only attracted to top guys,so my friend said"if he's versatile,he is BOTTOM,so forget it".

[ProThaiExpat]

It seems to me that in a society that frowns on homosexual behavior, there are many males that would be "acting out" their sexual inclinations with other males but for the condemation and shame attached to that behavior in such a society. Thus during puberty and early adult life, such a society truly "surpresses" their true sexual maturation with men and they may well have wives, children and live the "straight" life until the time comes, when for whatever reason, they "come out".

To say they are "straight" because they enjoy straight sex during such supression of their true sexuality is probably, from a purests point of view, a wrong "label". I put myself in this category.

Many truly straight men have "opportunist" sex with other men in unique situations, such as prolonged deprivation of females, alcohol or drug induced lowering of boundries, and the like and I surely wouldn't label them gay.

Thailand, without the christian-judean heritage, doesn't have the homophobia prevalent as seen in wester cultures, so Thai men, can have sex with another man if the circumstances are favorable and there is incentive. I would venture to say that if the Thai straight male is horny, has had his boundaries lowered by drinking and is in a favorable venue situation, I think they easily participate in sex with other men, particulary effeminate men who "seduce" them and in which they are in the clearly dominate or "man" role.

My Thai has "facililitated" many such liasons for his gay friends through his inherent sociability and "gift of gab". A dinner out, paid for by the acknowledged gay, with drinks after a sporting event, easily ends up in the gay having sex with the straight Thail male, but only in the passive or oral performer role.

I am not yet convinced that a truly straight male, even a Thai, can be induced to perform fellatio on another male or be passive in anal sex with another male in normal circumstances and so I would say a male, Thai or otherwise, that performs sex like that with another male would be classified by me as gay, regardless of what he pretends to be. I specifically exclude straight men who are professional sex workers from this categorization.

[bkkmadness]

I always thought bisexual would be the way to go, then you have the unlimited choice.

Just a further question for all you gay people.

Do you ever just stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself naked?

sorry, been watching 'chasing amy' tonight with a few beers.

[Guest endure]

I always thought bisexual would be the way to go, then you have the unlimited choice.

Just a further question for all you gay people.

Do you ever just stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself naked?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

All the time. I find myself strangely alluring (after 8 bottles of Chang)

[ProThaiExpat]

bkkmadness: I don't know where your going with your question, but an honest reply is: Unless your an Adonis or your a "mirror queen", the chances that gays look at their bodies in the mirror any more than straights is unlikely.

Question back, Why do straight males "check out" other straight males naked males in locker rooms and shower rooms, particularyly in sport team settings?

[BambinA]

Question back, Why do straight males "check out" other straight males naked males in locker rooms and shower rooms, particularyly in sport team settings?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

snake contest time , methinks

[Guest endure]

bkkmadness: I don't know where your going with your question, but an honest reply is:  Unless your an Adonis or your a "mirror queen", the chances that gays look at their bodies in the mirror any more than straights is unlikely.

Question back, Why do straight males "check out" other straight males naked males in locker rooms and shower rooms, particularyly in sport team settings?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

To see who's got the biggest willy, like Bambi said

[BambinA]

To see who's got the biggest willy, like Bambi said   

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

if i was a boy and in locker room , i would close my eyes with 10 fingers plus toes (but spread em badly )

[bkkmadness]

bkkmadness: I don't know where your going with your question, but an honest reply is:  Unless your an Adonis or your a "mirror queen", the chances that gays look at their bodies in the mirror any more than straights is unlikely.

just watched chasing amy as I said, its a quote from the film.

Question back, Why do straight males "check out" other straight males naked males in locker rooms and shower rooms, particularyly in sport team settings?

Check out how well hung you are? Homosexual tendencies?

[PeaceBlondie]

I was telling a Thai-American friend of mine, who is gay and is now back in Bangkok, that a lot of American teenagers go through a bisexual stage. In their early teens, they can't get straight sex, so they do gay sex. They grow out of this stage. My Thai friend says that the same thing in popular in Thailand among a certain group of teens. My guess is that once they've become married, straight adults, they don't consider themselves 'bi' any more; it was just a stage they went through.

[The Gentleman Scamp]

I am a bisexual who has never had a homosexual experience.

[JoySword]

"Bi now, gay later!"

A sentiment I've found to be more true than not....

[ChrisP]

My Thai bf posed the question to me recently as we rode through his village and came across a group of Thai guys: "Who you like?" I told him that I was very happy with him and did not want anybody else.

######, that was a GOOD answer, Peter!!

You avoided the Jolly (Thai) Green Monster's quick arrival VERY well there...!

(I screwed up on the very same question once.... didn't get laid for a week.. )

Btw, Kinsey - who proposed the "Totally Straight to Totally Gay" scale also had the theory that people could/can travel along that scale during their lifetimes. I do believe that's what happened to me...

ChrisP

[Steve2UK]

if i was a  boy and  in  locker room , i would close my eyes with 10 fingers plus toes   (but spread em badly      )

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just visualising this........... and I can't help feeling that a boy in a locker room covering his eyes with his toes might send out a signal which he hadn't intended?

[Ijustwannateach]

When I was younger I had girlfriends (I had one as recently as 10 years ago). It wasn't anything disgusting or repulsive; I quite enjoyed it and scandalised my best friend's family as a teenager when I showed up the morning of a sleepover with large obvious bitemarks on my neck (from his sister). But I was never as interested in them as in the guys I was attracted to, and as raw hormones gave way to taste and discernment, I became less "bi" and more "gay."

(I also had a bit of a taste for straight guys when I was first experimenting, and so what did that make the straight guys that I was experimenting with?)

As hard as it is to be "alternative," imagine how much harder it is to live in both worlds with the different sets of expectations. I might personally not mind dating women once in awhile, but it would raise eyebrows among my friends and many women tend to expect things like marriage, children, and other social baggage I'm not interested in.

If there were no stigma, I honestly think a lot more of us would be "bi" to one extent or another. We already are, after all. I think this is one of the things Thailand demonstrates.

"Steven"

[meom]

I am a bisexual who has never had a homosexual experience.

Is that what they call it when the GF uses a strap-on?

[OlRedEyes]

I love travel, because I love new things, new experiences.

That's why I am in Asia. Coming from a Western-type African society, it's sooo different. Some things I like, some I don't.

Sex, as is life, is a journey. Don't settle at the first station. Enjoy and expand. There's so much on offer....

[Ijustwannateach]

^Indeed. The telling point is that many more straight guys are homophobic than gay guys are heterophobic (probably most gay guys have at least experienced straight sex, if not engaged in relationships or even been married for many years and had children). In that sense, we're much more experienced sexually and more open-minded; in theory, it can be argued that we're the only ones who, having tried both sides of the street, can truly say which one we prefer to be on- though that doesn't stop a large number of homophobes from claiming to know better than we do what we're talking about.

"Steven"

^^P.S. From the U.S. column "Savage Love," the current term mooted for a girl who uses a strap on with her straight male partner is "pegging." FYI.

[jrincon17]

As for me, I think that a bisexual guy is GAY too.

I don't know what you guys think about it.For me,a guy wether he is attracted to women or both genders,as long as he has sex with another guy is obligatorary a GAY.Don't you think so?

i dont think so .. ok, i got yah point .. it sound like , sub-set with overlap ..

obviously you are a gay man, could i ask you something,please .. do you enjoy to have sex with girl? ( i mean "enjoy")

if not, well that's diff ..

- Bi - still enjoy to have sex with man and woman

-Gay- enjoy to have sex with only man

well .. i know .. plenty gay men used to married with woman , but its not happy,right? that's why u broke it up, follow your desire..and find other Mr.Right

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

youre gay only if youre a man

[Guest endure]

^Indeed.  The telling point is that many more straight guys are homophobic than gay guys are heterophobic (probably most gay guys have at least experienced straight sex, if not engaged in relationships or even been married for many years and had children). 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I never have - never wanted to - don't think I could to be honest

[meom]

I love travel, because I love new things, new experiences.

That's why I am in Asia. Coming from a Western-type African society, it's sooo different. Some things I like, some I don't.

Sex, as is life, is a journey.  Don't settle at the first station. Enjoy and expand. There's so much on offer....

Talking about expansion I did try out the pegging thing once which wasn't too bad eventhough I lost a few kilo's

[zzap]

- who proposed the "Totally Straight to Totally Gay"  scale also had the theory that people could/can travel along that scale during their lifetimes.  I do believe that's what happened to me... 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sure, I don't believe anybody who claims they've never been attracted to the same sex.

For some it happens during their teens, when they're 'experimenting', for others, who are aware and not afraid of their feelings, it happens throughout a lifetime- which doesn't mean you have to act on it, but I don't think there is anything unusual about finding other guys 'sexy' or 'attractive'.

[PeaceBlondie]

I think you're right, zzap, when you write, "I don't think there is anything unusual about finding other guys 'sexy' or 'attractive'." Yet almost all Western societies inhibit males from expressing such thoughts. We are taught that as men (at least, 'normal' men) we wouldn't know that a man was sexy or attractive if he was the latest pop movie star. If someone is mistaken enough to ask the opinion of a straight man as to whether some man is handsome, he's trained to respond, "I wouldn't know; you'd have to ask a woman." Yet, straight women are free to say that a woman is beautiful. Double standard.

Besides, if men won't admit that they know what a handsome man looks like, why do they pay so much attention trying to look more attractive, and how do they know?

[zzap]

In my experience, it's ok to say that certain guys are attractive to women, but not to say that YOU (as a man) find them handsome.

A different emphasis...