Successful Relationships With Thai Women

[mijan24]

can't really say why it works but i have a few ideas.

i am 35 and she is 32, that helps i believe but is not important.

in some ways we are alike in others we are not, but the differances are huge because she is thai (obvious) this means things don't get to boring, always learning new cultural things.

from the very beggining we have been open and honest with each other, even if info we pass on may hurt, honesty we decided is most important.

best of all she is the greatest friend i have ever had, and we can talk about absolute shit for hours.

3 years and no problems, not one.

she is my wife and my best mate.

no one is the boss and we respect each other, i also respect her family and her background.

when times were tough she worked hard, when there were other less desirable options many take, no offence to them, but that has given me great respect for her.

she is a geniune good girl, lucky to find.

I thought your post made interesting reading do not agree with you 100% but thats what makes us individuals.

I would expand your last line to say "a genuine good boy/girl meaning there are good boys as well as good girls and more importantly it applys to every country and nationality.

Edited November 25, 2011 by metisdead
30) Do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes, added emoticons, or altered wording.

[lovelaos]

So we're back to the old Hi-so vs Lo-so debate....

Do the foriegners who marry with these so called hi-so (I hate that term) Thai women really exist?

In my 12 years of visiting/living in SEA I have yet to meet and/or spot one.

I have met/been friends with/worked with and socialised with many women who some would class as being of a higher social status, but I have yet to actually meet one who is married to or interested in marrying a Farang.

These women are only really interested in very very rich Asian men with a similar social status/family name as them.

Who on earth would want to marry one of these creatures anyway?

[Berkshire]

So we're back to the old Hi-so vs Lo-so debate....

Do the foriegners who marry with these so called hi-so (I hate that term) Thai women really exist?

In my 12 years of visiting/living in SEA I have yet to meet and/or spot one.

I have met/been friends with/worked with and socialised with many women who some would class as being of a higher social status, but I have yet to actually meet one who is married to or interested in marrying a Farang.

These women are only really interested in very very rich Asian men with a similar social status/family name as them.

Who on earth would want to marry one of these creatures anyway?

Very astute observations. The hi-so term is way overused. In truth, there are very few real hi-so Thai women out there. It takes a little more than light skin to be considered hi-so.

But the farang definition of hi-so seems to be all Thai women who are not interested in farangs. That's why there appears to be many more hi-so's in Thailand than there actually are.

[TingTawng]

I think these terms are over used and over simplified among many thais and farangs here

Agree. I never even hear of the term "hi so" outside of ThaiVisa or the odd mention on Thai soap operas (which really play up on the idea of the "hi so" woman). I think it's fair to say that less than 1% of women aged between 18 and 30 work as bargirls, and I'd venture that less than 1% of women 18-30 in Thailand are "hi so" as described in ThaiVisa. So what about the other 98% of eligible Thai women who work in normal jobs, aren't rich, but have good morals and are pretty decent human beings (by and large)? My partner is one of them, and well...there's plenty more out there. If anyone thinks there's this false dilemma of choosing between "hi so" and "lo so", they haven't ventured out of Sukhumvit Road, or changed the channel when a lakorn is on.

Edited November 25, 2011 by TingTawng

[expatdreamer]

So we're back to the old Hi-so vs Lo-so debate....

Do the foriegners who marry with these so called hi-so (I hate that term) Thai women really exist?

In my 12 years of visiting/living in SEA I have yet to meet and/or spot one.

I have met/been friends with/worked with and socialised with many women who some would class as being of a higher social status, but I have yet to actually meet one who is married to or interested in marrying a Farang.

These women are only really interested in very very rich Asian men with a similar social status/family name as them.

Who on earth would want to marry one of these creatures anyway?

Indeed, I was married to a hi-so Oz girl (parents had a lot of money, she attended a very expensive private school, etc all of which I believe fits the definition) and the list of demands to keep her happy was never-ending - multi-million dollar (AUS $) home, antique furnishings, new BMW convertible, trips overseas, gold, pearl necklaces, designer clothing, expensive hand bags, .... All whilst sitting at home and I work 12 hour days in a stressful job

Give me a lo-so Thai girl that is happy with street food and a small condo anyday.

[TingTawng]

hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex who models herself on the moody, selfish, spoilt women she watches on lakorns.

Can someone explain to me the appeal of such a woman, other than for a farang male to sound superior on thaivisa.com?

[ludditeman]

Indeed, I was married to a hi-so Oz girl (parents had a lot of money, she attended a very expensive private school, etc all of which I believe fits the definition) and the list of demands to keep her happy was never-ending - multi-million dollar (AUS $) home, antique furnishings, new BMW convertible, trips overseas, gold, pearl necklaces, designer clothing, expensive hand bags, .... All whilst sitting at home and I work 12 hour days in a stressful job

Give me a lo-so Thai girl that is happy with street food and a small condo anyday.

I'm with you, farm girls for me every time.

[Spee]

Lots of interesting responses here, several of which I agree with, mostly around mutual respect and jai yen compatibility. Some additional thoughts ... My partner and I married earlier this month, although we have been together for almost 8 years. Outside of respect, compatibility of personality, etc., what we have most in common is that we both have good hearts, we are both very hard workers, and we both support each other.

We have had a few problems over the years, including some very deep arguments. The impact of these should not be underestimated, because it can take time and understanding for them to pass completely. As in any relationship, east or west, these are tests to the level of commitment of both individuals.

One thing that I have not seen discussed is the impact of the family.

- My wife has a daughter from a previous marriage, although our situation is different because she never knew her biological father and has been calling me Papa for years. She is a good kid who has become a good student. With my help, she has been able to broaden her horizons with English, swimming and music lessons. Still, the impact of a child or children from previous relationships should not be underestimated.

- I have some issues with my wife's mother, mainly because she feels that she hit the lottery when her daughter hooked up with a Westerner with a good job. She has become greedy and as a result, will never get any more than a basic allowance for food, expenses and medical care from me. Still, the mother's influence on the daughter should not be underestimated.

- Similarly, I end up partially supporting another member of the family, who also has a wife and toddler. It's not really because I want to, but more because I could not forgive myself for not helping the baby, who is innocent in all of this. The parents do help out around the house which is helpful to my wife. My wife understands the difference between a hand-out and a hand-up and we feel this is a hand-up situation.

Bottom line with all this is that the family does impact the relationship in one form or another. That is not to say that it would be any different than in any other relationship.

Edited November 25, 2011 by Spee

[jackinbkk]

If you've got a bad egg from the start you are never going to make a good boiled egg.

There's no tick list of what you must have and not have. The problem is a lot of people meet bar girls who have the intent of a quick $. Try seeing life from their viewpoint and you'll see why. It's not right it's just a result of the inequality in the world. My girlfriend and I have met plenty of Thai women married to westerners. They already talk about the inheritance and what they plan to do when the older husband is gone. Why do you think so many Thai women are on dating sites asking for a man up to 65 years old. Especially the younger girls of 18 to 25. They've never seen the guy, never met him. They don't know if they'll like him and they don't care. Their aim is money based.

Like a lot of TV members I have a very different background, upbringing and set of interests from my partner. However for some reason we get on well together. I think the world of her and she seems to think the world of me. Soon coming up to the 5 year mark in the relationship. So far so good.

What a lot of us need to remember also is that if you are with a partner you love, have enough money to at least get by and you have your health you should count yourself as very lucky.

Be thankfull and don't get stuck in focusing on money and material things.

[transam]

hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex who models herself on the moody, selfish, spoilt women she watches on lakorns.

Can someone explain to me the appeal of such a woman, other than for a farang male to sound superior on thaivisa.com?

Try again , don't understand your post.

[TingTawng]

hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex who models herself on the moody, selfish, spoilt women she watches on lakorns.

Can someone explain to me the appeal of such a woman, other than for a farang male to sound superior on thaivisa.com?

Try again , don't understand your post.

OK: hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex.

Got that?

Now, why would a man be interested in such a woman?

Answers please

Edited November 25, 2011 by TingTawng

[PattaniMan]

OK: hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex.

Got that?

Now, why would a man be interested in such a woman?

Answers please

Money. Remember, daddy's a millionaire.

Edited November 25, 2011 by PattaniMan

[transam]

hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex who models herself on the moody, selfish, spoilt women she watches on lakorns.

Can someone explain to me the appeal of such a woman, other than for a farang male to sound superior on thaivisa.com?

Try again , don't understand your post.

OK: hi-so = moody, selfish, spoilt woman with entitlement complex.

Got that?

Now, why would a man be interested in such a woman?

Answers please

Sorry, still don't understand.

More complex post would be appreciated.

[thaibeachlovers]

Lots of interesting responses here, several of which I agree with, mostly around mutual respect and jai yen compatibility. Some additional thoughts ... My partner and I married earlier this month, although we have been together for almost 8 years. Outside of respect, compatibility of personality, etc., what we have most in common is that we both have good hearts, we are both very hard workers, and we both support each other.

We have had a few problems over the years, including some very deep arguments. The impact of these should not be underestimated, because it can take time and understanding for them to pass completely. As in any relationship, east or west, these are tests to the level of commitment of both individuals.

One thing that I have not seen discussed is the impact of the family.

- My wife has a daughter from a previous marriage, although our situation is different because she never knew her biological father and has been calling me Papa for years. She is a good kid who has become a good student. With my help, she has been able to broaden her horizons with English, swimming and music lessons. Still, the impact of a child or children from previous relationships should not be underestimated.

- I have some issues with my wife's mother, mainly because she feels that she hit the lottery when her daughter hooked up with a Westerner with a good job. She has become greedy and as a result, will never get any more than a basic allowance for food, expenses and medical care from me. Still, the mother's influence on the daughter should not be underestimated.

- Similarly, I end up partially supporting another member of the family, who also has a wife and toddler. It's not really because I want to, but more because I could not forgive myself for not helping the baby, who is innocent in all of this. The parents do help out around the house which is helpful to my wife. My wife understands the difference between a hand-out and a hand-up and we feel this is a hand-up situation.

Bottom line with all this is that the family does impact the relationship in one form or another. That is not to say that it would be any different than in any other relationship.

I understand where you are coming from re the MIL, as I have the same problem with my wife's sister. However, where we differ is that I feel no obligation to give her, or the family any money. I didn't marry them, and made that clear to my wife before getting married. Had she demanded otherwise, there would have been no wedding. Still, it did cause some problems for a while.

[thaibeachlovers]

I am Thai lady , marry and living in UK for 7 years. I graduate from Chula and have a good family. I marry with a good man that is also family friend.

I think that most foreign man only meet bar girls. Most Real Thai Girls only want to meet Thai man. Hi-so people like the same. Low class people attracting the same also. Bar girl attract foreign man because same also. Low class male and low class female will equal many problem.

In conclusion the reason many foreign man have problem is because they unable to attract/communicate with high class Thai lady because they are the inferior to Thai hi-so financially and intellectually.

Lo-so foreign and Thai will not be the compatible despite their equal undesirable habit.

Let's not forget that a "hi so" woman comes with a hefty price tag. Not unheard of that they want a million or more in sin sod, and what farang would be prepared to pay that, for all the obvious reasons?

Edited November 25, 2011 by thaibeachlovers

[natchainuk]

I see bigotry in UK as much as in Thailand. People in London consider they are better than from outside London. South England consider they are better than north. England consider it is better than Scotland, Wales, Ireland.

Please explain that this is different. Every country have this problem.

Why should people who have good education, rich, succesful not feel better than people that dont have it. Tell me this is not same in every country.

I dont tell people in UK how to do things in their country. I see many Thai people that respect the culture when they live in UK. They show respect, politeness, good manners as Thai culture teach them to do.

I see many foreign men on Thaivisa that live in Thailand but dont show the same respect to the country and people that allow them to live there, they pay very small tax, and only critical of Thailand.

Maybe it is dificult to see that Thai people can travel around the world and be succesful. Better than they can do in Thailand?

[Spee]

Why do you think so many Thai women are on dating sites asking for a man up to 65 years old. Especially the younger girls of 18 to 25. They've never seen the guy, never met him. They don't know if they'll like him and they don't care. Their aim is money based.

......

Be thankfull and don't get stuck in focusing on money and material things.

Well, let's be clear on a few things. Aside from love and emotion, most marriages (and long term relationships) are a business arrangement. This is common worldwide and is particularly prevalent in the western world. I would suggest that it's reasonable to speculate that most marriages fail because of problems with either fidelity or finances. The fact that some Thai women may perhaps be more obvious in their financial requirements and expectations should make no difference. The phrase "no money, no honey" wasn't invented in Thailand.

[letitbe]

nonsense their is no formula 90% done work im lucky for 15 years ive had one that works but me and my wife fail totally on all criteria given Total trust and honesty is only way any relationship stands test of time and some luck but also both parties being prepared to meet more than halfway more than 1/2 of time

[letitbe]

Why would you be in a relation if you dont respect the other person or vice versa. I think that is a normal thing to expect.

Good sex?

forgot to add that but liking sex with each other only is very important playing around on wither side is the death of any marriage in 99% of cases

[trevorg]

Nope, none of the 4 criteria apply to us

I met her 18 Nov 2001, 10 years and two days ago, don' think there is a magic formula.

Do you think I have a problem?

My ex-wife has the same birthday as my Mum and my married my current wife on her 35th birthday!

[letitbe]

You could add similar social background to that list.

Coming from a council estate and running away from the law, evading child support and ripping off the credit cards and banks for loans that were never intended to be Paid back ?

Or, he met her in a bar, then again, that's where she met him also, in my experience, that's where most Farangs meet women, I know, I have a bar and I see it every day and have done for over 20 years.

All except ThaiVisa members of course, they all have university educated Thai women 30 years younger than they are, from rich and powerful families.

ThaiVisa members are a unique bunch, where else can you meet so many Farangs that have rich and powerful family connections, yet none can ever help you out....lol.

so true my wife came from slum had every low job imaginable but i dont think ever worked as a bar girl i dont think so but even if she did id still be with her together 15+ years 2 lovely kids I have good degree came from totally different culture and background shes 35 years younger than me. Were both 99% sure neither of us has ever played around since we both know it would be fatal to our marriage although im sure like me she must have been tempted sometimes (were human) I guess one secret is we lived together fro 3-4 years before marrying and who knows maybe she was attracted to a fairly well off older man at start for lifestyle but could have left anytime after around 5 years with 30 million baht or so. But your right all these people saying their wives are rich chinese is nonsense. We both dont really know why were together given our total opposites She says thats why we fit. Total honesty is 100% part of secret and sort out any family thing totally at start. Not all Thai women/girls are gold diggers but most woman in world need and want some financial security to feel safe and protected. My wife definitely does not stay for money and never did even though she was dirt poor. Anyway weve been together 15++ years and like all marriages its not always been or is a smooth road but we stay together.

[letitbe]

The only reason any fully functional male has a 'relationship' with another person is for sex.

Self delusion is a wonderful thing!

Pretty small box you have wrapped things up in there Ludditeman... What if she's a good cook too ?

or makes you laugh or happy or is clever with money how pathetic we like sex but its not more than 10% of reason were together or why im with her. I can find sex anywhere as most males can here and probably after 15 years a bit better sex for both parties elsewhere but as meal still tastes good its still only a meal and not everything in life

[trevorg]

a smooth road

letitbe - you have a great outlook on life and thanks for sharing your feelings

My immediate response to somebody else's comment on another thread is below

two lanes or four, with a divide? Sorry - the Road Rage thread is creeping in..............

Edited November 25, 2011 by trevorg

[letitbe]

Are there ever times when you want to discuss something but you realize a.) she's not going to understand what I'm talking about , or b.) we may get there, but it's going to be excrutiatingly difficult to communicate this for what it's worth?

Why would you want to have a discussion with your wife/gf?

The man decides what to do, the woman goes along with it. No discussion!

Suggest a subject that would need a discussion?

Bet this is a wind up, but in the off chance that it's not, I presume you're not married!

Most of us ( I hope ) marry for companionship, not to aquire a servant that also provides sex.

I was under the impression that most male/female relationships were ultimately to produce children in a stable environment.

A dog gives much better companionship than any partner, if that is what you are after.

like it but not quite right but good one and children do cement a good marriage. I really feel sorry for those who dont want children and just live for themselves my 6 children have given me and me 2 wives more than anything else could. I just hope at 85 I live long enough to see last 2 fully grown up but at least they are now in their teens. I had to think very carefully 15 years ago when only 70 about having more children but decided since I was financially fairly secure and could almost certainly secure their upbringing my wife of 40 years younger with no kids needed children to be fulfilled. Counting clock now but absolutely no regrets on marrying a younger Thai lady and dont think she has any regrets being with me

[letitbe]

Natchainuk,

I'm also a thai woman……I know what you're trying to convey.

However…….I don't agree that foreign men only meet bar girls. Rather, at bars and pubs are where most foreign men tend to frequently congregate. And these places are where most opportunist girls know that they can find "more of" gullible men who are clueless about Thailand/ thai girls/ thai cultures…..

But if these men have their wits and commonsense as parts of their personal trait, then less likely they will get scammed by those girls. The same is also true wherever they happen to be a world over or whatever they choose to be doing at any given moment. Not all girls there are bad of course, but the majority of them are already shaped up by that bar scene environment and barfriends to be that way….like a majority.

In my general opinion,…..if you're looking in a gutter, then you will find "more of" a gutter rats...(for both thais and farangs). Not necessary only in bars, it could be any places with a like kind environment, if you don't pay careful attention with whom you have chosen to surround yourself with.

Generally ....Like kind attracts like kind…..that's what I think

About HISo vs LOSo…

I think these terms are over used and over simplified among many thais and farangs here. Just because a person with higher education, white skin, more money….don't automatically make a person a HISO or vice versa. It takes much more than those surface attributes to make one a true hi-so or lo-so, in many thais' eyes. Only those that are less shallow mind (both thais and farangs) know the differences and be able to identify and label a person as such and such.

Just my 2 satangs here

if you really are thai totally 100% true and shows an unusual education and insight very rare in any people anywhere in world be it Thai or forang Many Thai so called HiSOs are real nasty horrible human beings with no respect for those less fortunate themselves same as many FOrang are nasty horrible men who just want to exploit poor thais Both are real scum in my view but some of nicest people ive met here after 20 years living here have been what Thais think of as HISos and some of nastiest I have to say scum are those Thai HiSo's but then ive met real proper rich Thais who would like me never look down on another human being. I would say their is a very sad and bad part of Thailand culture being disrespect for others less lucky than them just because they are poorer.

[letitbe]

I am Thai lady , marry and living in UK for 7 years. I graduate from Chula and have a good family. I marry with a good man that is also family friend.

I think that most foreign man only meet bar girls. Most Real Thai Girls only want to meet Thai man. Hi-so people like the same. Low class people attracting the same also. Bar girl attract foreign man because same also. Low class male and low class female will equal many problem.

In conclusion the reason many foreign man have problem is because they unable to attract/communicate with high class Thai lady because they are the inferior to Thai hi-so financially and intellectually.

Lo-so foreign and Thai will not be the compatible despite their equal undesirable habit.

Let's not forget that a "hi so" woman comes with a hefty price tag. Not unheard of that they want a million or more in sin sod, and what farang would be prepared to pay that, for all the obvious reasons?

id pay 10 million for my wife and more and she comes from slum definitely not HIso

[theblether]

Maybe there should be less talk about Hi-So and Lo-So. You can't buy class and dignity, you either have it or you don't. I detest watching all the brassy females tottering around in their $1000 heels and Gucci dresses in places like Dubai, ( amongst other places ). These dames may cost a lot to put together but they sure look cheap!!

[natchainuk]

HiSo= good family, rich, well-educated, best school, best university, succesful career, beautiful house(s), expensive cars, wear the right clothes, to shopping in the right shops, class.

2% have. 98% want.

[Mooner]

All the people on her claiming to have money and looking down on others only tells me one thing.

A lack of class!

[Patron]

_{My wife is medium-so}