Help! Girlfriend Being Harrassed At Work.

[LG73]

My girlfriend in Udon wants to quit her job at a hotel which she has had for 6 months because the manager is harrassing her sexually and coercing her into sexual favours. She says that it has gone on since she started with touching and requests to meet him that she has rebuffed but says if she does not quit she will have to accept or be fired? Apparently this is common in Thailand? She says that most of the female staff submits to his advances because they will otherwise lose their jobs etc. She says it happens at most jobs for females and her friend who works in sales has relations with her boss and sometimes with clients to make a sale because they will decline the order or cancel a contract etc.

She says thay before she met me she had slept with a boss under coertion before to keep her job and knows friends who have had to do things for bosses and business clients!

I feel awful and have asked her to just quit that he will only continue if she gives in, she agrees saying that he has a cycle with most of the female staff and their is no use complaining because some accept it and others would just be fired etc.

She said that last week he wanted her to come to one of the rooms in the hotel and when she did not he made some notes for her file that were negative for insubordination etc.

Has anyone else had this happen and how common is it, I suspect very common since women have no standing in Thailand it being a man's domain?

The company is a major hotel and the manager says many women line up for jobs and it is easy to have her or anyone replaced.

She says there is not one job where she was not propositioned by a boss, co-worker or business client! when she was younger she says she was naive and scared into obeying because she did not want to get fired and the family needed the income.

She says its not like the west where you can complain and get results or some investigation, they usually will just fire you or the client will say something bad about you and the company not wanting to lose business will fire you etc she said one company that was a client the person placing the order for wifi service wanted sex to chage providers to a internet company she worked for!

Whats wrong with this place!

[lizlemon]

wow thats brutal, i would have her quit no need to put up with that garbage. imo she sounds about right my fiance has indicated that she has been propositioned many times in the course of her duty by corporate clients ain the communication field. its nice to see she is stading up for herself, i wonder how many cave in and keep their mouths shut to boyfriends and husbands for the greater good good jobs are hard to find and jobs at all are hard.

[kenny999]

I take it your gf has a family, let the family know what is going on I am sure they will take care of the problem, if you can support your gf then tell her to leave otherwise the relationship will grind to a halt because who needs to know people are trying to force your gf into sex!!

[daxbr]

If you are overseas, she already got what she wanted from you "I feel awful and have asked her to just quit".

[F4UCorsair]

Mmmmm, I smell a scam, but maybe I am just too suspicious.

[MaiChai]

Does the boss of the boss know about his behaviour?

I don't believe this is common in Thailand.

[Tatsujin]

I have never once come across this in all my time here in Thailand. I'm sure it does happen, but I'm also sure it's uncommon.

[lizlemon]

in my experience I have seen that women in Thailand are quite vulnerable to harrassment

need a job? well how bad? just need you do to something first.

need this sale.....or want to keep this contract...hmm

i think it's common, ask any thai woman and you'll see IMO.

not many westerners would be privy or see this it's behind the scenes in corporate Thailand and mid level business.

[supaprik]

sadly this IS NOT UNCOMMON, trying to change Thai mentality will just ruin your lives....Your girl must just "stay strong" and refuse his advances and if he fires her so be it....T.I.T ...yes I know it's unfair and sucks balls but that's just how it is..

[lizlemon]

true, many attractive women ar hired merely so they can be bedded by unscupulous bosses and in sales or the telcom industry its very common for sales staff to be pressured by business clients into sex to close deals or get orders.

[Berkshire]

Mmmmm, I smell a scam, but maybe I am just too suspicious.

No, I think your suspicions are warranted. This alleged type of sexual harassment is not very common in Thailand. Lots of Thai women in supervisory positions any more and besides, Thai women wouldn't put up with sexual harassment in a lame, low paying job such as those in a hotel. About the only occupation that is renown for the "casting couch" is in the bar industry. Once a guy tells a girl that she should quit her job, he is now responsible for her being unemployed. If the OP is ready to take on that responsibility, go for it.

[KRS1]

Tell your gf to use the voice recorder in her cell phone next time he flirts with her...working there for 6 months entitles her to 2 months severance pay if she gets fired...tell her not to sign any paperwork that has an acknowledgement of insubordination or lack of performance. If she gets two warnings on paper and she signs it, she can't get severance.

Or get a petition from the other women and show it to the REAL boss.

[manarak]

Mmmmm, I smell a scam, but maybe I am just too suspicious.

No, I think your suspicions are warranted. This alleged type of sexual harassment is not very common in Thailand. Lots of Thai women in supervisory positions any more and besides, Thai women wouldn't put up with sexual harassment in a lame, low paying job such as those in a hotel. About the only occupation that is renown for the "casting couch" is in the bar industry. Once a guy tells a girl that she should quit her job, he is now responsible for her being unemployed. If the OP is ready to take on that responsibility, go for it.

I tend to agree with that.

If the story was real, I have trouble understanding why the GF would stay in this job.

Thais have a very short fuse when it comes to work that is not fun and will quit easily, i.e. just not turn up the next day.

Especially so as I don't expect her to earn a lot in that hotel.

Also, I understood that it is quite easy to find a new job...

I'm not saying that things OP describes don't happen in some places, but I'm saying most Thais would just run away.

If harassment really takes place, the Thai way of dealing with it is to just quit. They won't "make problem" by recording, gathering evidence, etc. For what?

My guess is that she just wants to stop working.

Edited December 7, 2011 by manarak

[rgs2001uk]

Mmmmm, I smell a scam, but maybe I am just too suspicious.

No, I think your suspicions are warranted. This alleged type of sexual harassment is not very common in Thailand. Lots of Thai women in supervisory positions any more and besides, Thai women wouldn't put up with sexual harassment in a lame, low paying job such as those in a hotel. About the only occupation that is renown for the "casting couch" is in the bar industry. Once a guy tells a girl that she should quit her job, he is now responsible for her being unemployed. If the OP is ready to take on that responsibility, go for it.

"About the only occupation that is renown for the "casting couch" is in the bar industry"

I wont dispute that, however there are others where its common.

A niece of mine had the exact same happen to her, a large car company on Petchaburi Rd Bkk.

The family sorted it out, the offender didnt look so "hansum' after he was taught his behaviour wasnt acceptable.

He resigned shortly afterwards.

Dont know enough about the OPs position, but this is more common than many would believe.

[LG73]

well she has quit and is looking for another job, and no I am not being asked for money. most of you who don't think its common? are kidding yourselves.....and are clueless on thai men and the structure. most thai men are permitted to taking 2nd wives, if these girls are ogled by western men, you don't think that thai men do the same they are just smarter and don't have to pay and get fleeced like western guys this is how they do it in positions of power.

most women just go along and the bf or falang husband is none the wiser and she keeps her job etc. why they stay? well many want the job and for the one that said there are many jobs? yeah right how many that pay well with tips? also they can be replaced easily with line ups of applicants.

i'm suprised at how daft some of the comments are from some posters on this being not common, take 30 mins out of your day in thailand and take a look around at the women and the interaction by thai men in authority

[Berkshire]

A niece of mine had the exact same happen to her, a large car company on Petchaburi Rd Bkk.

The family sorted it out, the offender didnt look so "hansum' after he was taught his behaviour wasnt acceptable.

He resigned shortly afterwards.

This was actually my point. The reason that it doesn't happen as much as we may think is because the Thai girl and her family would know how to deal with it. Shaming is actually a better weapon than a lawsuit, which is what the west is accustomed to.