The Crazy Ex Gf - What To Do?

[LarrySilverstein]

Ok this is one of those thai visa classic threads..

Have a thai girlfriend for 6 months, she graduated from the university, her parents have a business in downtown, she got a car and kind of OK money. This is not a bargirl or a prostitute but that doesn't mean she act any different..

Yesterday i caught her cheating. Not in the act but i saw all the messages on her phone. I can also read her emails, facebook and all that crap but i didnt make any use of it until yesterday. So bottom line.. she cheats on me and i kicked her out of my apartment.

Sad thing is that she graduated in broadcasting / acting, so i have to deal with her full blown acting skills. Security always lets her back up on the floor, even though she doesnt have a key card or her name in the contract. If i call security while she is here she just talks her way out of it, since she has a face like an angel but is the devil inside.

I dont really want to involve the police or anything but she keeps coming to my apartment, banging on the door, yelling, screaming and everything. She even ran into a wall and said i punched her..

This is obviously out of control and i am really at the end of my power to deal wit this. Last thing i can think of is to contact her dad and talk to him but he doesnt speak much english and probably wont believe me anyway.. I can't afford to move out of the apartment now as i just moved in here, so this is really not an option for me at this point.

Anything else i can do?

[ludditeman]

The best way is always to move apartment.

You say you can't do that so how about just pretending you aren't in when she calls around.

Keep your shoes inside the room, don't answer the door, don't speak to anyone knocking on your door, tell friends to phone first.

If she can't speak to you or see you react, she will get bored and give up.

Go on holiday for a few weeks if you can afford it.

Lucky you didn't take her to Germany!

Edited December 7, 2011 by ludditeman

[mca]

Insist on security not allowing her access for a start.

[WAYNEandAEI]

Get yourself another girl and introduce or at least parade her before the crazy

[South]

Whoa ... you say you can read her e-mails/facebook etc BUT can't communicate with her father! Something amiss.

Whatever, talk to the apartments' security and don't get her allowed in! Not rocket science .... or get better in bed!

[LarrySilverstein]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

[Semper]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

[Ricardo]

Perhaps take a short holiday, so she's banging on the door, of an empty apartment ?

Edited December 8, 2011 by Ricardo

[meatboy]

this is not a classic,you havent mentioned that golden word[MONEY] broadcaster actor aint they all,best advice i can give go back home you will never survive here.

[Hooters]

did you live together and does she have a key? change the locks and its no good whining to security they are USELESS primary school educated buffalo.

Go to the condo Jurustic, find the manager , they should be able to help out

[nocturn]

you deserve each other.

[richard_smith237]

Do not accept this from your security guards. Your building manager should speak enough English. Tear her/him a new one.

IF your ex does manage to enter the building again, do no open your door to her. Video her behavior. Call security. Do not answer her phone calls. She will get tired of this behavior.

The main cause of her behavior is probably her indignation that you could so easily walk away from her, she probably thinks she is the 'all deserving princess' and how dare you discard her !

Forget about talking with her father, it's unlikely he'll believe anything you say once your Ex has manipulated her way out of the situation. All this would do is escalate a situation.

It seems as though you are doing the correct things already. Nutty Ex's are common everywhere, you just have to bide your time until the situation dilutes itself...

[Wavefloater]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

[poanoi]

Why can't you move now again ?

because that is the sensible thing to do.

If you worry about deposit, well how much is it worth to end hell ?

Another problem is that she is free to act out against a nice guy like yourself,

thai guys have long since learned that if you put the fear of death into them, they'll leave you alone

[richard_smith237]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

[With their one liners and and weak attempts at smart-ass humor some posters prove themselves to be nothing better than simpletons time and time again !]

On Topic:

I disagree with the bribe part. The Op bribes the staff and they let the Ex past again, what does he do? I think bribing in this situation shows weakness and will not be respected. It also sets a precedent whereby if anything happens you will pay up !

IMO - This is an occasion where raising your voice might work (Not screaming and hollering). Ask the manager to be present, tell the security guards that in no uncertain terms is it acceptable to let your Ex in. (They don't need to understand you fully, they just need to understand that you are very annoyed about something, the Manager can explain the rest !)...

By doing this you are placing the security guards in a situation they don't want to repeat.

[beano2274]

Get a friend who has a thai GF to give you a pair of her shoes, and place them outside the door everytime you get home, if the ex comes into the condo building and sees the shoes everyday she might get the hint and stay away. But then again this is Thailand and she might make more noise and fuss.

[beano2274]

IMO - This is an occasion where raising your voice might work (Not screaming and hollering). Ask the manager to be present, tell the security guards that in no uncertain terms is it acceptable to let your Ex in. (They don't need to understand you fully, they just need to understand that you are very annoyed about something, the Manager can explain the rest !)...

By doing this you are placing the security guards in a situation they don't want to repeat.

Security will do nothing, as they are scared. In my condo they do not say anything to people who park wrong as they might get punched by the car owner.

Best way to deal with it is get away from it.

Edited December 8, 2011 by astral
No need to quote the entire post. Just pick out the relevant points, please - Astral

[Wavefloater]

I understand what you're saying about the bribery showing weakness or setting a bad pattern, but it IS a culture where money talks. There's definitely merit to what you say, so I guess it's up to the OP to decide if greasing palms is the way to go or simply being firm and clear about his displeasure of the staff not following his wishes. Most importantly, as you have mentioned, is NOT to scream and holler because it's the best way of becoming instantly invisible to the Thai we're confronting to rectify a situation.

Edited December 8, 2011 by astral
No need to quote the entire post. Just pick out the relevant points, please - Astral

[champken]

You say "she ran into a wall and said you punched her" That alone should set your alarm bells ringing, do whatever you can to stay away from her or you might find yourself up to your neck in <deleted>

[Gers1873]

Insist on security not allowing her access for a start.

Give the security guards a couple of hundred baht each -- works for everything else in Thailand -- should keep her out of the building.

[Berkshire]

This is where it would help to have a male Thai friend. A Thai guy would know how to handle this situation and exactly what to say to put the fear of God into her.

[bobbin]

"Fear of Death".....

"Fear of God".......

What exactly are these Thai fellows saying?

Radio silence and low low profile are the way to go.

Oh, and I like the ladies shoes at the door. All have worked for me in the past....

[Berkshire]

What exactly are these Thai fellows saying?

Are you some sort of newbie? Firstly, I'm sure that if you wanted to curse somebody out in your native language, you'd do it just fine. But if you tried to curse a Thai out in the Thai language, you'd sound like a bumbling buffoon that no one would take seriously. Secondly, a Thai guy can certainly be well connected or claim to be well connected and he would be believable. A Thai woman would take the threats of a Thai guy much more seriously than the threats of a Farang. What are you going to do, tell her that you're buddies with some farang bar owner? ROFLMAO!

[JSixpack]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

+1. You can always count on Semper to show up and add some useless snide trollish remarks. Unfortunately he never goes far enough so that he can be banned. But, we're waiting. Best thing for everyone to do is add him to the "ignore" list.

[Semper]

If you take your time to dig up the op's previous topics, then maybe you will understand some of the answers he will get on this one.

Edited December 8, 2011 by astral
No need to quote the entire post. Just pick out the relevant points, please - Astral

[beano2274]

I see what you mean Semper, lucky enough he did not take her to Germany and The Netherlands, at that time looked like the perfect relationship, maybe he used the removal firm to move all his gear to his new place on Ratchada to be closer to her, now he feels a bit stupid I guess.

[Payboy]

Get a friend who has a thai GF to give you a pair of her shoes, and place them outside the door everytime you get home, if the ex comes into the condo building and sees the shoes everyday she might get the hint and stay away. But then again this is Thailand and she might make more noise and fuss.

Fastest way to lose a pair of shoes without going to a temple.

[Semper]

I see what you mean Semper, lucky enough he did not take her to Germany and The Netherlands, at that time looked like the perfect relationship, maybe he used the removal firm to move all his gear to his new place on Ratchada to be closer to her, now he feels a bit stupid I guess.

[HardenedSoul]

Usually, the manner in which the relationship has been conducted will always determine whether or not the girl actually BELIEVES you'll make good on your promises of retribution for her behaviour. A firm but fair type of guy who doesn't cut a woman much slack when she f**ks up or takes the piss most probably wouldn't be in your current situation but, reading your account, you took action when you discovered the truth. The ability to curse or get your point across to an errant Thai female in her language is largely irrelevant.

If I were you, I'd maybe write a message along the lines of "Don't let this woman into the building under any circumstances as she's disruptive and dangerous, get Thai friend to translate it, bolt on a photo and then give copies to security, the juristic person and, most importantly, the LANDLORD. Be sure to make a point of the fact that the security services are there for a reason and if they fail in their duties, the LANDLORD can tear 'em a new one. After all, he or she won't want to lose a good tenant just because security are too lazy.

Pay no mind to the pussies who suggest you should move. Remember: Your gaff - your f***ing rules

[welbymd]

Larry,

Very quietly, move everything to a new apartment. Don't tell anybody in the building. This ex has trouble written all over her. Let's not read a tragic story about you in the paper.