The Crazy Ex Gf - What To Do?

[Wavefloater]

Are you seriously suggesting that we explore the history of member's posts to determine their general character or the validity of what they say before offering advise? If there is something relevant that validates what appears to be a catty remark (as yours appears to be) then refer to it. You should realize that without doing that, your remark only seems childish and snide.

After my comment, two other members posted, agreeing with my feeling about your remark, and one of them saying that it was typical of you. I don't want a battle with you or to hijack this thread, but I hope you take something positive away from this about better (or clearer) communication.

Edited December 8, 2011 by astral
No need to quote the entire post. Just pick out the relevant points, please - Astral

[HardenedSoul]

Larry,

Very quietly, move everything to a new apartment. Don't tell anybody in the building. This ex has trouble written all over her. Let's not read a tragic story about you in the paper.

Yeah and while you're at it, why not stand over a drain and throw fistfuls of your hard-earned folding down it?

Look, you were with this woman for 6 months and, during that time, it's likely you drank at certain bars and shared one or two mutual friends. All she'd have to do is rock up at one or more of your favourite bars, clubs, restaurants and subsequently follow you back to your new gaff. That's it !!

Don't run like some kind of pussy; stand up for yourself and make it OFFICIAL by getting the juristic person and the landlord involved whether they like it or not. At least if things escalate and you end up having to chin her, you're on record as having taken reasonable action to remedy the situation. You don't want to start dishing out readies just to get away from a bint.

[norrona]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

instead of semper you should call yourself sniper....

[Hooters]

Larry,

Very quietly, move everything to a new apartment. Don't tell anybody in the building. This ex has trouble written all over her. Let's not read a tragic story about you in the paper.

LOL back home nobody would go to this type of extreme and yet for some reason the faranag turns to a fat blob of quivering jelly when confronted by a 5 foot pipsqueak Asian.

go figure

[norrona]

one piece of advice I do agree with is you speak to the building manager/juristic person and make your feelings known there....put it in writing and get them to sign a copy with witnesses if you don't really trust them.

this way if there are any allegations against you from the ex for physical abuse then at least you will have it written and witnessed about her not being welcome in at your home....yes your home, nobody should be worried about going back to their home.

word of warning though...once you have done this don't accept this crazed loonie back into your life or that apartment building as that will make you to look like the crazy person and the building manager will always remember that :jap:

[chris5346]

can't they just move you to a different room in the apartment block ?

or move your stuff out and leave the door unlocked /open so she thinks you've moved out.

i had an ex like that and what ever i tried just made her worse.

[nocturn]

If you take your time to dig up the op's previous topics, then maybe you will understand some of the answers he will get on this one.

why on earth would anyone with half a life take the time to do that?

[HardenedSoul]

instead of semper you should call yourself sniper....

Best to avoid encouraging people like this.

Ok, so the OP wanted to take her to Germany but one would assume the relationship was on a better footing back then. Given the number of divorcees on TV, mistakes with women are not a new phenomenon, right ?

[pattayadingo]

Buy some 2nd hand shoes [new ones will be a give away]. maybe 2 pairs. Ladies ones. Leave them outside your door. Cheap way to discourage her. Size 8's might make her think you have a BIG lady.

A cheap camera outside the door linked up to your computer to record her behaviour when she comes calling. Then you can show it to the relevant people in the apartment building and have it as proof of her behaviour.

Edited December 8, 2011 by pattayadingo

[GreenSnapper]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

[ludditeman]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

You would have to be seriously disturbed to take on a female Thai national.

Come to think of it, you would have to be seriously disturbed to confront a woman looking for trouble in any country.

Police generally believe the woman, not the man. Why seek out any trouble.

Whatever the outcome of the confrontation, it would be your fault and you would end up paying.

Moving is quick, cheap and easy.

[norrona]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

you crack on your way pal....the police would love it if she went to them saying he hit her or worse....ker ching time all round

[maprao]

I like the bit about her not being a bar girl or prostitute. All those good university educated girls going to university don,t have sponsors and multiple Bf's. My experience is that can be worse than BGs. Know one that used to buy presents for her husband with her Bf's money lol. He thought that they came from her because she was from a "good family".

Try the bribe method if it does not work put you foot down with the security. Also follow all the other advice. Change you locks, leave girls shoes outside, do answer the phone or door.

Failing that rent a BG for a couple of weeks. She will see her off. Just do not fall in love with her. Also lock all the windows and balcony doors.

[JSixpack]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

You would have to be seriously disturbed to take on a female Thai national.

Come to think of it, you would have to be seriously disturbed to confront a woman looking for trouble in any country.

Police generally believe the woman, not the man. Why seek out any trouble.

Whatever the outcome of the confrontation, it would be your fault and you would end up paying.

Moving is quick, cheap and easy.

Exactly. That little Asian borderline chick has a corrupt police force behind her. It's infuriating, but there you are.

Talking to her father would just escalate the situation.

Only two choices here: get the condo JM involved in making sure she's kept out, or move.

The recording idea is good one if you can do that.

Edited December 8, 2011 by JSixpack

[Livinginexile]

Before I got married and settled down, I used to work the old internet dating thing for over 5 years.

I dated countless so called "good girls" and many of them had Farang boyfiends/husbands that they also met on the internet.

It was amazing just how many were in relationships and yet still worked the internet dating game. I came to the conclusion they were always looking for something better to come along.

Sorry to say but sounds like the same as your girl mate...perhaps she still has a dozen or so in her contact folder.

You didn't happen to meet her on the internet did you?

[peanut]

A cheap camera outside the door linked up to your computer to record her behaviour when she comes calling. Then you can show it to the relevant people in the apartment building and have it as proof of her behaviour.

Great idea. Better yet, show it to her and tell her that it will end up on facebook if she doesn't behave.

[astral]

Get out of your apartment and stay away from the areas where you are likely to meet this girl.

You are in Thailand and Thai Rules apply.

Crossing a Thai can be VERY dangerous

and this one sounds like a real nutter.

[Thongkorn]

Must admit i did not read most of the replies , been there done that, Take a tip , Just Move and don't tell any one, just do it, Talking too a Thai about another Thai, in Thailand is a waste of time , make your mind up if its over just act, Move and get on with your life, there are thousands of good people in Thailand, why waste your time on a bad one.

[Hooters]

Before I got married and settled down, I used to work the old internet dating thing for over 5 years.

I dated countless so called "good girls" and many of them had Farang boyfiends/husbands that they also met on the internet.

It was amazing just how many were in relationships and yet still worked the internet dating game. I came to the conclusion they were always looking for something better to come along.

Sorry to say but sounds like the same as your girl mate...perhaps she still has a dozen or so in her contact folder.

You didn't happen to meet her on the internet did you?

strange post. How do you know yours wasn't an Internet girl before you met her?

"It was amazing just how many were in relationships and yet still worked the internet dating game. I came to the conclusion they were always looking for something better to come along."

your words not mine

[HardenedSoul]

Those of you advising the guy to run: thank heaven for the starch in your shirts because, with your apparent lack of a spine, it's the only thing keeping you upright.

If you're to be believed, one only has to cough near a Thai for the police, the local mafia or Somchai the Cut Man to carve you up like a roast but experience has shown such caveats to be total <deleted> and, despite what the invertebrate respondents have said, Thais are far more likely to respect you for standing up for yourself . . . when you're clearly in the right.

For sure, there IS a time to leg it but this ain't one of 'em. Ignore the drips on here, save your money and take definitive action but MAKE DAMNED SURE you cover yourself first by getting your landlord and/or the JP involved in an official capacity.

[Thongkorn]

Those of you advising the guy to run: thank heaven for the starch in your shirts because, with your apparent lack of a spine, it's the only thing keeping you upright.

If you're to be believed, one only has to cough near a Thai for the police, the local mafia or Somchai the Cut Man to carve you up like a roast but experience has shown such caveats to be total <deleted> and, despite what the invertebrate respondents have said, Thais are far more likely to respect you for standing up for yourself . . . when you're clearly in the right.

For sure, there IS a time to leg it but this ain't one of 'em. Ignore the drips on here, save your money and take definitive action but MAKE DAMNED SURE you cover yourself first by getting your landlord and/or the JP involved in an official capacity.

As i have said been there done that, I am not afraid of facing the truth or a problem , after Months of misery of going to the police, and talking to landlords, and hotel owners, all the police said was,"its a domestic you sort it out, or words to that affect, but be carefully because as soon as you react or put yourself in a dodgy position you will pay, even though you have done nothing wrong, And then there is the possibility she may self harm or get the Thai Boyfriend to act for her . If I had accepted the same advice I have given now it would have been sorted within days. When i did finally act i, felt better looked better slept better, and i did not need to keep looking over my shoulder, If i had known what i know now i would have just moved the first time of any problems , but we keep fooling ourselves that it will get better, it never does, its one way down hill.But you have to except that it over and not kid yourself.

[theblether]

Those of you advising the guy to run: thank heaven for the starch in your shirts because, with your apparent lack of a spine, it's the only thing keeping you upright.

If you're to be believed, one only has to cough near a Thai for the police, the local mafia or Somchai the Cut Man to carve you up like a roast but experience has shown such caveats to be total <deleted> and, despite what the invertebrate respondents have said, Thais are far more likely to respect you for standing up for yourself . . . when you're clearly in the right.

For sure, there IS a time to leg it but this ain't one of 'em. Ignore the drips on here, save your money and take definitive action but MAKE DAMNED SURE you cover yourself first by getting your landlord and/or the JP involved in an official capacity.

Wow you really gave it to him there

As a rule of thumb I agree with you though. I've been in some dodgy situations in some dodgy places throughout the world ( incidentally I don't count Thailand as being particularly dodgy ) and I realized two things long ago.........

1. You don't have eyes in the back of your head so you better face a problem head on............

2. The mental stress is usually worse than the reality...........

So the OP has said that he can't afford to do a midnight move to get away from her so he has no choice but to face the problem head on...........

Methodology?......a Thai male is always the best in these situations, cos they've seen and heard it all before and he won't be long seeing through her BS and bluster and putting her in her place. If you happen to live in Thailand and you don't have a Thai male friend then why not?

Alternatively, you could try the variations of plans put forward on the topic already however me?...........I would bore her to tears...........

The more you hide the more you will anger her, the more you reject her the more you will anger her, the more you embarrass her the more you will anger her, the idea that you have a new woman may well anger her, getting a JP or police on to her may well anger her, and hey, anger her family too. ( Remember loss of face? ) .....so try this one............

Go for the Rule of Sevens...............the next time she contacts you let her come see you..............when she comes to see you shut your mouth..........let her talk talk talk..............once she goes quiet quickly pick up on one of the points that she raises............and she will talk talk talk again............repeat a total of seven times.............

I will be amazed if she gets to the seventh time without getting bored out of her skull repeating the subject over and over again, but if she does........thank her very much for her time and say you will think about what she says and see her later...............

Then leave her alone........the next time she contacts you repeat the entire process.............up to seven times if necessary.............so that means you will had given her plenty of time to blow out her volcanic temper............

Whatever you do be gentle and brief in what you say........make sure she does all the talking.........and always pick up a point she has made and give it gently back to her............

Trust me........she will soon get bored of you.......and she won't be back.

I was taught this technique by a superb American sales trainer years ago, when he went through it with me I thought the guy was on drugs.......after learning it and using it I realized it was me that was on drugs doubting the guy........

All she is really wanting to do is talk her anger out, so let her do it. Antagonizing her will just make the problem worse.......so bore her to death!!!!

ps Apparently your German so you should be naturally talented at boring people.

Edited December 8, 2011 by theblether

[ajarnpot]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

instead of semper you should call yourself sniper....

why would someone have passwords for their gf accounts, ??

sounds like you did not trust her, she did not trust you

you get what you reap

remember perhaps you can do something interesting as you plummet from your high rise apartment, I don't know, something festive maby, santa suit, fairy wings

come on be imaginative

[kurnell]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

[meatboy]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

where can y find a sheep in thailand baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[KimoMax]

Thai's are NOT going to help the OP with this situation.

Not the police, Tourist Police, Security, Friends. Not one single Thai will get involved in the OP's personal Problems.

Only thing the OP can do with an unrelenting Crazy X is to move away from that apartment and that area.

Good thing she is only a Girlfriend. If Married: Quadrouple the problem.

Forget about the family helping.

Blood is Always thicker than Water.

Move on, or deal with it.

The only way the OP can stay in that same apartment due to an obsessive, compulsive X is to write up a agreement with an Attorney and signed by the X and the OP.

That will be enforceable with Thai Police and the Courts.

Edited December 9, 2011 by KimoMax

[PattaniMan]

"Leave shoes at the door", "move to another apartment".....

My god, are there only wimps here? You cannot even handle a borderline chick?

I'm always surprised how deep western men can fall....

You would have to be seriously disturbed to take on a female Thai national.

Police generally believe the woman, not the man. Why seek out any trouble.

Whatever the outcome of the confrontation, it would be your fault and you would end up paying.

Moving is quick, cheap and easy.

Hey Snapper Boy -- good to see you took my advice and dropped all that Alpha-Beta garbage. You really were making a fool of yourself. Next, try to tone down the fake machismo act. It's way too transparent.

Mr Luddite is correct. You can NOT compete with an insane female in a country like Thailand.

Move. Move on. Live and learn.

[travelmann]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

[Gers1873]

Get yourself a sheep. Next time she comes around open the door with a stonking hard-on and the sheep spread-eagled on the bed. That might put her off.

Or she could be of Thai/Kiwi parentage and you may end up with a 'threesome'

[garrfeild]

I know the password for the accounts and her dad doesnt speak much english. Not sure whats weird about that.

The weird thing is that you ask questions here on a internet forum about your personal gf problems. Better you ask your parents what to do.

Can't you figure out that there's a better chance of many of the forum members understanding Thai women and Thai culture than the guy's parents, who likely live far away and have never even been here? Perhaps some day you'll need some advise from a member here who has an intimate knowledge of Thai situations, and I bet you won't appreciate snide comments like yours.

It's more relevant to make your type of comment to the many people that ask for technical (computer, internet, etc.) support rather than using Google, where there are many experts willing to help.

These type of snide and immature remarks are the biggest reason I rarely post anything here.

But on to why this poor guy has asked for help. I agree with the advise to make yourself invisible to her -- keep your shoes inside and don't answer the door unless you know it's someone you welcome or expect. Perhaps a gift or some cash to the security staff (or the manager) would sway them to cooperate and tell the b-atch to take a hike. If she strikes out enough times trying to see you, it's likely that she'll fade away.

(Speaking to the manager would probably be enough in our cultures to do the trick, but TIT, so a bit of bribe may be necessary.)

Lets get real for a minute! if anyone comes to Thai Visa with these sorts of questions then it's pretty obviously they have no idea about relationships. having his girlfriends passwords is proof of this. Generally speaking, if you look for problems you find them.

Interesting thing is he can maybe read his Gf's Thai messages but cannot speak it? or is she chasing another farang?

The idea that he is going to find a solution from like minded forum members proves that he is not alone as far a those that have no idea about relationships. having some common sense might help, but that would be too easy, better to come on TV and air your dirty laundry in public, where we can all have a laugh

Edited December 9, 2011 by garrfeild