Forum Civility

[scorpio1945]

I am curious. What is the physiology behind the back and forth barbs seen in some recent and previous threads here and in other forums. I was just watching a show that was discussing the role testosterone plays in male behavior. Among other things it says high testosterone levels make one need a higher level of respect and that it is higher in lower achievement groups. Makes sense why the boys in the hood need to shoot each other over a wrong word or a perceived slight.

Why do people need to defend or attack someone they perceive have slighted them, especially on a forum. What is the profit? In their eyes does it make them feel they gained respect? (does it?) Does it make them feel good? It may make a little sense in some settings, but on a forum?

If they respond in kind, are they not lowering themselves to the level (or below) of the person they presumably have no respect for. Why not ignore it (a macho thing?), respond to it a humorous fashion which would tend to diffuse the situation or respond in a civil, logical, intelligent way which would make the other party look rather foolish, childish or what ever applies, to other readers. Do some readers see this as wimping out or as I do, a sign of intelligence.

These exchanges do not bother me in the least but has always puzzled me since I joined this, my first, forum.

Not trying to take a pot shot at ANYONE, just trying to invite a level of civility.

　

[Lizard2010]

I guess it is the nature of the beast.

Ive been guilty of it on another web forum.

But i do agree.

It is a democratic society, and some push their rights banner more than others.

I guess we have to put up with it sometimes.

It is up to the moderator to use his dicrection as to what is posted.

Just thought i would put my bit in, more might!

[dindong]

[scorpio1945]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzPBUGUM7KQ

[OneZero]

Out of context quote: "It is up to the moderator to use his dicrection as to what is posted."

If the posters don't have the common sense, then I would agree that a moderator should step in.

For example, that Walen School thread has long outlived any value. Long overdue for a moderator to close it. (IMHO

[TwentyBaht]

scorpio1945,

Yes. Agreed. Civility can quickly become a victim in a spirited forum. To everyone's detriment.

An old gentleman I greatly respected once cautioned me. When I feel compelled to say, or do something. Ask two questions of myself. Is it the right thing? And, is it necessary?

I also remember what Richard Pryor said about confrontations, "Ego will heal a lot quicker than a broken jaw."

Peace

[rmacdon61]

My mother used to tell me "you catch more flies with honey then you do with vinigar".

I have mostly stopped reading the posts attached to the TV New reports.

I also certainly enjoy the friendly banter that goes on here and I find useful information by reading posts and disregard the rest.

Human nature being what it is, you will always find those that "run into burning buildings to save lives and those that set the fire".

It's a good question Scorpio and if the answer does appear you may have discover the "Meaning of Life".

[necronx99]

It is the Eternal September effect.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Whole forums on fire off the shoulder of the usenet. I watched ad hominems glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.

Edited February 12, 2012 by necronx99

[Riggi]

I liken it to being at a pub. A social situation (virtual though it may be) with many different discussions happening at the same time.

Every so often you will encounter a couple having an argument.

At first everyone around listens in slightly amused at the nature and content of the argument - "Why are they getting worked up over such a trivial issue?", "It's funny how he misinterpreted what she said" etc..

After a while, that amusement turns to embarrassment for the people involved, and then eventually annoyance ("Would you just get over it already and move on")

Eventually everyone else in the pub goes back to their own conversations and the couple continue to argue but no one else is paying much attention now, or it fizzles out and they make up and continue talking about something else or go their separate ways.

Edited February 12, 2012 by Riggi

[sceadugenga]

Just take a deep breath and think....

"Would I say this in a face to face situation?"

It's easy then.

[necronx99]

Just take a deep breath and think....

"Would I say this in a face to face situation?"

It's easy then.

This is the simplest test. Would you say it to a stranger or passing acquaintance in a bar.

And if so, after you wake up in the ambulance, would you have them take you back to the bar so you can say it again?

[mcgriffith]

There is no doubt that the anonymity of the net contributes to some of the anti-social behaviour occasionally seen.

If one was speaking face to face with others, it would be doubtful many of the flame type comments would be made.

Especially if the speaker knew there could be immediate....ermmm...physical repercussions.

[mcgriffith]

If the posters don't have the common sense, then I would agree that a moderator should step in.

For example, that Walen School thread has long outlived any value. Long overdue for a moderator to close it. (IMHO

Walen School is a sponsor (paid advertiser) and as such has the right to do a reasonable amount of self promotion.

The thread in question was started 31 January 2012- surely not such a "long" time.

[villagefarang]

Scorp, I find it interesting that no one has really dealt with your question as you presented it. Perhaps it struck too close to home with your reference to underachievers and the thuggish behavior of the lowest elements of society.

Notice how many responders spoke of physical violence in their responses. I have alway considered a violent or unconsidered response to anything as barbaric and uncivilized, showing little growth from ones prehistoric roots.

Though mankind has made tremendous technological leaps, our development as a species seems to have stalled or to be going backwards. I suppose one could look at forums as a microcosm of the world today with divergent groups and ideas being thrown into close proximity by modern technology.

In the past we lived in relatively homogenous groupings and tolerated very little divergence from the norm. Today many maintain that same level of intolerance yet find themselves in close proximity to others who do not hold the same beliefs.

Many have yet to develop the strategies that allow them to interact without resorting to violence, physical or verbal. So I would agree that our genetic inheritance plays a part in this undesirable forum behavior but lets not forget that we evolved the executive functions of our brains to filter and mitigate our more primitive reactions to things. Some seem incapable of availing themselves of these higher functions, however.

Not trying to take a pot shot at ANYONE, just trying to answer your question with a level of civility. Considering the background and advanced age of most here, I wouldn’t hold my breath in anticipation of change.

[toybits]

TV would not dare close this thread. Some people get special treatment. Walen after all is a SPONSOR! Get it?

Out of context quote: "It is up to the moderator to use his dicrection as to what is posted."

If the posters don't have the common sense, then I would agree that a moderator should step in.

For example, that Walen School thread has long outlived any value. Long overdue for a moderator to close it. (IMHO

[sceadugenga]

Dunno about that, UlyssesG gets a few of his threads closed.

[villagefarang]

Interesting how easy it is to sidetrack a topic.

[TwentyBaht]

necronx99,

Please, I'm intrigued. Which "Tanhauser Gate" did you mean? From "Blade Runner," or "Soldier"?

Sorry to digress the thread.

[sceadugenga]

The quote is almost identical to that made by Roy Batty, the dying replicant, in Blade Runner.

[scorpio1945]

I liken it to being at a pub. A social situation (virtual though it may be) with many different discussions happening at the same time.

Every so often you will encounter a couple having an argument.

At first everyone around listens in slightly amused at the nature and content of the argument - "Why are they getting worked up over such a trivial issue?", "It's funny how he misinterpreted what she said" etc..

After a while, that amusement turns to embarrassment for the people involved, and then eventually annoyance ("Would you just get over it already and move on")

Eventually everyone else in the pub goes back to their own conversations and the couple continue to argue but no one else is paying much attention now, or it fizzles out and they make up and continue talking about something else or go their separate ways.

Very apt analogy.

[scorpio1945]

Just take a deep breath and think....

"Would I say this in a face to face situation?"

It's easy then.

I disagree somewhat. I have seen some very intense back and forths on here created because someone commented in a manner that on the surface seemed quite condescending but in a face to face situation and in context would not (I think) have have caused the slightest stir. I think it is much harder to convey intent here..

[cmjantje]

Safe behind an avatar and nickname?

[2unique]

I once read a quote/joke that if what I said can be taken two ways and one pisses you off then I meant the other...

Seems a lot of people have an inherent nature to right a wrong and/or school strangers on the interweb and have a tendency to pick the one that pisses them off. Then again the nature of the forum beast is post and expect flames so maybe it becomes something of a self fulfilling prophecy where one sees only that which they expect to see and responds in kind believing they are standing up against unjust bullies!

[2unique]

Edited February 13, 2012 by 2unique

[villagefarang]

I’m not sure the anonymity theory works here in the Rai, where it is quite difficult to remain anonymous. Many people actually use this forum as a way to meet people.

Edited February 13, 2012 by villagefarang

[cmjantje]

Besides you, I met you one time when I married, Limbo and Harry, I don't know anyone personal.

Already a long time I walk with the idea Not to use an avatar but a real picture of you. I tried to find a usefull for me but I did not come further than this:

Edited February 13, 2012 by cmjantje

[dindong]

I’m not sure the anonymity theory works here in the Rai, where it is quite difficult to remain anonymous. Many people actually use this forum as a way to meet people.

Perhaps they do.

I find that people you meet on this forum are completely different in real life.

I give as an example, Villagefarang whose rmubling verbal diarrohea and selfcenterness rubs many people the wrong way.

Yet meet the guy in public and he's the complete opposite..

[TwentyBaht]

Following along with the post by mcgriffith, and in the interest of humor, I would like to offer something regarding self-promotion. Hope no one takes offense.

From a book by Frank Gifford, Courage;

In May 1975, Evel Knievel arrived in London, the day before, to motorcycle jump thirteen lengthwise Merlin buses at Wembley Stadium. Called the local promoters. Bad news. Only 2,000 tickets sold. They would cancel the event.

Knievel told them not to worry. Add more ticket staff.

He donned his striped showsuit, uncrated the motorcycle, and sped off to downtown London. Where, he made daredevil wheelies and high speed runs against one-way traffic, and up onto sidewalks. Eventually, Bobbies cordoned and cited him.

And, reporters arrived.

Knievel asked, "What's wrong with you people? You drive on the wrong side of the road. You've got to get that straightened out. And, your drink tea. That's awful. Can't you get good coffee here?"

An affronted lady, "My, you are a brash American!"

Knievel responded with another brash comment about World War II.

Reporters flipped notepads shut and went to print!

Queues formed immediately at the ticket offices. The fool American could smash a few bones on the grounds of Wembley.

The Stadium sold out. 90,000 seats. Promoters banked the money. And, paid Knievel his show fee.

Knievel responded by fortifying himself with Jack Daniels and jumping twelve and one-half buses, breaking his pelvis in the process.

He limped to Frank Gifford's "ABC's Wide World of Sports" microphone and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen of this wonderful country, ............."

Edited February 13, 2012 by TwentyBaht

[villagefarang]

I’m not sure the anonymity theory works here in the Rai, where it is quite difficult to remain anonymous. Many people actually use this forum as a way to meet people.

Perhaps they do.

I find that people you meet on this forum are completely different in real life.

I give as an example, Villagefarang whose rumbling verbal diarrhea and self-centeredness rubs many people the wrong way.

Yet meet the guy in public and he's the complete opposite..

No, no, no…we simply can’t have this. Surely a case of mistaken identity.

[sceadugenga]

I hope those who have met me personally agree that I am same fine example of reasonableness and civility that I am on the forum.

Hey VF, if you're such a good guy why are you banned from the PotLuck AND the Hash?