Serious Question About Relationship With Thai Gf, Serious Replies Please.

[David48]

I protect my assets

after you have waited two years to get to know her and you marry ... MARRY IN THAILAND ... research and read the posts here.

she tells me she earns about 12K baht per Mth

mate, she should be sending YOU money ... good money she's earning + tips.

She has asked me to chip in 4000 to 5000 bath per calendar Mth for her parents, I don't give a shit, I can afford that.

Shane ... of course you can afford that ... but do give a shit. that really is a yellow card ... realize the warning signs. There are more men sending money to girls in Thailand (thinking that they are the only one) then empty stubbies on the beach after schoolies on the Gold Coast (local referance that Shane will understand).

Just when maybe you are starting to think that we don't like this girl WRONG ... we don't even know her ... so how can we pass judgement!

What we can judge are her (and your) actions.

The request for a monthly salary is wrong on so many levels!

Will's telling you it's a red flag.

Read wolfs post #46 ... he's giving some really good advice on this ... I wouldn't change a word of it.

... and Shane, no, we don't think that you are an idiot ... we just want to share our collective experiences with you so that same mistakes that have been made ad infinitun are not made by you.

David 48

Edit changes were just font changes...

Edited February 15, 2012 by David48

[transam]

I protect my assets

after you have waited two years to get to know her and you marry ... MARRY IN THAILAND ... research and read the posts here.

she tells me she earns about 12K baht per Mth

mate, she should be sending YOU money ... good money she's earning + tips.

She has asked me to chip in 4000 to 5000 bath per calendar Mth for her parents, I don't give a shit, I can afford that.

Shane ... of course you can afford that ... but do give a shit. that really is a yellow card ... realize the warning signs. There are more men sending money to girls in Thailand (thinking that they are the only one) then empty stubbies on the beach after schoolies on the Gold Coast (local referance that Shane will understand).

Just when maybe you are starting to think that we don't like this girl WRONG ... we don't even know her ... so how can we pass judgement!

What we can judge are her (and your) actions.

The request for a monthly salary is wrong on so many levels!

Will's telling you it's a red flag.

Read wolfs post #46 ... he's giving some really good advice on this ... I wouldn't change a word of it.

... and Shane, no, we don't think that you are an idiot ... we just want to share our collective experiences with you so that same mistakes that have been made ad infinitun are not made by you.

David 48

Edit changes were just font changes...

Absolutely correct, sadly. and I know of a few ''ladies'' that are doing it.

In those famous words from ''Hill Street Blues'', Lets be careful out there.

[ludditeman]

... and Shane, no, we don't think that you are an idiot ... we just want to share our collective experiences with you so that same mistakes that have been made ad infinitun are not made by you.

David 48

Nobody thinks you are an idiot, we just think you are unused to hot sex with younger Thai girls, as we all were when we came here.

They all fooled us the first couple of times, but we learnt from out mistakes. We learnt from their lies, of which we heard plenty.

Have fun with her, while spending as little as possible.

You will need to adjust your views on sharing though, else life will become hell.

Edited February 15, 2012 by ludditeman

[transam]

... and Shane, no, we don't think that you are an idiot ... we just want to share our collective experiences with you so that same mistakes that have been made ad infinitun are not made by you.

David 48

Nobody thinks you are an idiot, we just think you are unused to hot sex with younger Thai girls, as we all were when we came here.

They all fooled us the first couple of times, but we learnt from out mistakes. We learnt from their lies, of which we heard plenty.

Have fun with her, while spending as little as possible.

You will need to adjust your views on sharing though, else life will become hell.

Agree. Problem is most arrive here and think they have gone to heaven and don't want to believe different, and the ladies know it.

[Will27]

To the OP

As you have applied for a visa for her, she must have a passport.

Did she already have one or did you have to get her one?

Do you know how much she earns and how much she sends

to her parents?

I have to admit there are some huge red flags here.

Regards

Will

Yes I have seen her passport, she got it 5 years ago , and has never been out of Thailand.

reason why, I don't know, maybe a failed relationship that didn't work out.

she has told me she had a thing with an Irish guy that it didn't work out.,

Well things in life often don't, I'm sure there are plenty of men in my age group who could attest to that!

I mean what's the worst thing that could happen to me, I get her to Australia, I protect my assets, either binding financial agreement, locked down tight & or family trust for my house. We go our own seperate ways, life goes on for all.

she tells me she earns about 12K baht per Mth, plus whatever tips she gets from her mixed male, and female clients.

she tells me she sends about 4-5K bath P.M. back to her folks.

No she cant get any time off to be with me, only 2 days per week instead of 1 day. so I'll have plenty of time to enjoy myself in the days.

I will be staying in her room so no accommodation.

Yes I'm listening to everyone's advice, and yes it has changed the way I am thinking about things.

I understand as well, mostly people are trying to give me what they believe to be good advice.

I believe I am a good learner, and one thing i have realised is how little I really knew about the way things work in Thai culture, and I am reading and absorbing as much as I can, in as short a space of time as I can.

I don't take anything personally, no matter how brutal the responses.

I realise there are a lot of people who may think I am an idiot, but I assure you I know I am a good person, have been a good father, a good provider, have good character and morals. have neither been a great success in my work life, nor a total loser, just average I guess.

I don't really have anyone in my network of close friends who understands Thai culture, except one guy, and he seems to think she is OK, as his wife was a friend of hers. they seem happy here in Australia now.

Shane

I have to tell you that 12 000 Baht per month (plus tips) is quite high for worker in a salon.

I know hair dressers who make 6 or 7 thousand. Your average worker in a 7/11 store only

earns about 8000 and that includes shift work. Plus you need a degree to work there.

You've said that you were introduced by your friends wife. Why don't you pull him aside

and ask him for the low down, on the quiet? Would he be honest with you?

Regards

Will

Edited February 15, 2012 by Will27

[rgs2001uk]

To the OP

As you have applied for a visa for her, she must have a passport.

Did she already have one or did you have to get her one?

Do you know how much she earns and how much she sends

to her parents?

I have to admit there are some huge red flags here.

Regards

Will

Yes I have seen her passport, she got it 5 years ago , and has never been out of Thailand.

reason why, I don't know, maybe a failed relationship that didn't work out.

she has told me she had a thing with an Irish guy that it didn't work out.,

Well things in life often don't, I'm sure there are plenty of men in my age group who could attest to that!

I mean what's the worst thing that could happen to me, I get her to Australia, I protect my assets, either binding financial agreement, locked down tight & or family trust for my house. We go our own seperate ways, life goes on for all.

she tells me she earns about 12K baht per Mth, plus whatever tips she gets from her mixed male, and female clients.

she tells me she sends about 4-5K bath P.M. back to her folks.

No she cant get any time off to be with me, only 2 days per week instead of 1 day. so I'll have plenty of time to enjoy myself in the days.

I will be staying in her room so no accommodation.

Yes I'm listening to everyone's advice, and yes it has changed the way I am thinking about things.

I understand as well, mostly people are trying to give me what they believe to be good advice.

I believe I am a good learner, and one thing i have realised is how little I really knew about the way things work in Thai culture, and I am reading and absorbing as much as I can, in as short a space of time as I can.

I don't take anything personally, no matter how brutal the responses.

I realise there are a lot of people who may think I am an idiot, but I assure you I know I am a good person, have been a good father, a good provider, have good character and morals. have neither been a great success in my work life, nor a total loser, just average I guess.

I don't really have anyone in my network of close friends who understands Thai culture, except one guy, and he seems to think she is OK, as his wife was a friend of hers. they seem happy here in Australia now.

Shane

I have to tell you that 12 000 Baht per month (plus tips) is quite high for worker in a salon.

I know hair dressers who make 6 or 7 thousand. Your average worker in a 7/11 store only

earns about 8000 and that includes shift work. Plus you need a degree to work there.

You've said that you were introduced by your friends wife. Why don't you pull him aside

and ask him for the low down, on the quiet? Would he be honest with you?

Regards

Will

"Why don't you pull him aside

and ask him for the low down,"

What makes you think the friend has a clue?

Wont be the first time I have heard of Thai women taking a cut of sin sot or getting a finders fee.

The friend may not even know whats going on, I know others who turn a blind eye to it and pass it off as "its their culture its the way things work over there".

There was a Thai woman I knew tried to line me up with her sister in Australia, the sister was already married. When I queried this, the answer was along the lines of, oh dont worry about that, she doesnt love him and is looking for a new husband.

Some guys really dont have a clue.

[colinp]

I agree about the salary. Unless she has a degree, or she is part of the skilled labour workforce, 12000baht is very good money. A thai friend of mine (male) is a lift/elevator engineer and has recently come back from England after working in some hotels in London, he earns 20k a month. There are ways to earn well without a degree but I'm very surprised that a spa worker/masseuse earns that much before tips, maybe if she works in a 5 star hotel but even then...

7/11's near me (Bangkok) give 5000baht a month. 6 days a week, night shifts every 3 weeks, no degree required.

[jambco984]

I'm no expert or so we all claim but just take it step by step and see what happens.

My first time here I was intoxicated by a beauty who said all the right things I called her nearly every day when I got home (8GBP using Skype luckily not international mad charges) She was the one I was bonkers to think this. Well long story short nothing came of it.

I moved here after we stopped talking met up with a mate and then found a lovely girl my own age. We have now been married over a year.

Problem is you need to be careful of all ages over here, young or old, student or sex worker. It's all rational to them, stringing you a line. Students do it to get through University and sex workers do it to support families.

If no money has been exchanged then good stuff, try keeping it that way to an extent and most of all.......

Enjoy yourself

[colinp]

most of all.......

Enjoy yourself

2nd

[David48]

Shane ... here is a recent thread which has some parallels to your story.

http://www.thaivisa....alia-today-but/

Thai Gf Granted 3 Month Visa To Australia Today...

AND

Processing Time Aust Partner/Prospective MarriageNow up to 10 months - confirmed

Edited February 15, 2012 by David48

[rusty1976]

I had a romantc trip to samui with my fake love... then we got talking about a visa to Australia.

I decided to send her money every month, luckily only 2 months, before I flew back over to thailand to sort the visa application out.. then all of a sudden she had changed and became a bitch from hell! and didnt want a visa.

This is a common trick they play so they can get you on the payroll & send money!

beware and do your research on the lady...

Goodluck...

[transam]

I had a romantc trip to samui with my fake love... then we got talking about a visa to Australia.

I decided to send her money every month, luckily only 2 months, before I flew back over to thailand to sort the visa application out.. then all of a sudden she had changed and became a bitch from hell! and didnt want a visa.

This is a common trick they play so they can get you on the payroll & send money!

beware and do your research on the lady...

Goodluck...

+1

[rusty1976]

+1

+1000, I have heard of guys rocking up to the airport, and the girls phone is off and they are gone-ski. I feel sorry for those poor bast^%ds... glad I didnt get to that phase...

[ShanePashen]

Boy oh Boy, I really have a lot to learn don't I.

Yes I am going to put the brakes on this a little bit.

And just see how it goes.

For what it's worth guys, through osmosis, it is getting through.

I Assure you.

There are just far too many guys on here with the same mantra.

For me not to take it seriously.

I just have to go there and trust my instincts.

And it will involve a couple more trips and no expectations.

[transam]

Boy oh Boy, I really have a lot to learn don't I.

Yes I am going to put the brakes on this a little bit.

And just see how it goes.

For what it's worth guys, through osmosis, it is getting through.

I Assure you.

There are just far too many guys on here with the same mantra.

For me not to take it seriously.

I just have to go there and trust my instincts.

And it will involve a couple more trips and no expectations.

Just remember it is VERY easy to be fooled here, Very, that is why some of us have seen or been involved with heart ache. In many cases, if the money stops arriving there is a disappearing act.

PS. There is a lady near me who is married to a guy who works all over the world, is receiving cash from FOUR farangs and has a job sorting out her loved ones visits. BUT, the good news was the guy found out but he lost the house.

[David48]

Boy oh Boy, I really have a lot to learn don't I

Grasshopper ... indeed you have.

But remember there are hundreds, if not thousands of successful relationships (notice I didn't say marrriages) between Farangs and Thai girls. Some of them are married ... even the ludditeman!

But just so your eyes are really opened this is a quote from a now closed recent post here on the Forum.

Posted 2012-02-07 13:29:12

Just the other day there was an article in a Thai paper about the pregnancy scam.

Girls injecting silicone into their stomachs to entrap boyfriends into paying abortion fees.

"Instead of just stuffing a pillow up her shirt, Kaew "impregnated" herself with silicone.

Like other popular types of surgery that enlarges selected parts of the body, she got hers in her belly for the reasonable price of B3,000, which suggests it is a pretty standard procedure. With her new belly, she duped many men to pay for her "abortion".

http://www.thaivisa....do/page__st__25 post # 27

Keep your eyes, ears and mind open ... and your wallet partially shut and enjoy yourself.

David48

...

Edited February 15, 2012 by David48

[rusty1976]

Just remember it is VERY easy to be fooled here, Very, that is why some of us have seen or been involved with heart ache. In many cases, if the money stops arriving there is a disappearing act.

PS. There is a lady near me who is married to a guy who works all over the world, is receiving cash from FOUR farangs and has a job sorting out her loved ones visits. BUT, the good news was the guy found out but he lost the house.

I still get surprised today that people still get f*&ked over on such a 'Large Scale'... like losing a house, their retirement fund etc... sure I have lost a few thousand THB with the wrong bird. But guys that pack up move over, buy land and a house and get divorced and loose the lot. With all the stories on-line (thai visa), books written! Isnt it a world wide fact that a majority of girls from thailand from the bar, disco, poor rural area's are going to screw you over if you are a farang.

I met a guy recently who bought a bar and a house, and was wanting to leave thailand fast... he cashed in his retirement fund, thought thailand was the best, fell in supposed love, 6 months down the track he was headed back home with a divorce and not much left in the bank.

Shag em, Pay em and Forget em! thats the best advice I can give.

[mackes]

What's missing in this thread is to mention that there exist honest love between Thai girls and men from the rest of the world.

From what I red here there are a bunch of men married to Thai ladies and living happily in Thailand. I do, even if not for long yet. And I was burned one time first. As mentioned before, risk is sky high. But if your lucky you can succeed,

If you are a Thai girl looking for foreigners, where to go? Of course, to the tourist intense places! And where do you meet the

opposite sex? In bars and restaurants just like in the rest of the world. Or through friends...

And at best it takes a couple of tries before your lucky and find the one you want.

Or you never do...

Some of the girls that never found their love become disillusioned, disappointed and bitter but stay instead of going back home. They do all they can do take revenge on foreign men, because we are all the same, just like some of you here class the Thai girls. Maybe of the same reason...

Some of the girls are not looking for love, just to get away from their poor environment and have fun, they are good playmates.

Edited February 15, 2012 by mackes

[Pseudolus]

You'll get lots of advice on here from the romantics (Go on, give it a try) through to the burnt cynics (she's a hooker and her Thai BF will kill you and feed you to the Kwai). Rule one though, stop reading Stickman; a whole heap of sh!t.

She most likely will be thinking exactly the same as you so you are both in it together. It is just as likely that you are seeing other people in the 11 months of the year you are not with her. There's no good advice I think for this, just a lot of peoples personal experiences or anecdotes they've heard down the pub.

the facts are simple though; 16 days holiday together is a holiday romance. Internet chatting is false because.... absence makes the heart grow fonder.

If you can, one of you move to be together. Work out if its real and go from there.

[KeyserSoze01]

Shane, what you are experiencing is commonly referred to as "Jazmine Fever". Most, if not all men experience it the first time they visit Thailand. I will admit that I fell victim to it also on my first trip many years ago. It can be intoxicating and only gets worse once you are back in your home country.

There is much good advice in this thread, even though some might sound cynical. Just remember that you should maintain control of your emotions and your wallet. Enjoy the ride as it can be wild at times.

[wolf5370]

What's missing in this thread is to mention that there exist honest love between Thai girls and men from the rest of the world.

From what I red here there are a bunch of men married to Thai ladies and living happily in Thailand. I do, even if not for long yet. And I was burned one time first. As mentioned before, risk is sky high. But if your lucky you can succeed,

If you are a Thai girl looking for foreigners, where to go? Of course, to the tourist intense places! And where do you meet the

opposite sex? In bars and restaurants just like in the rest of the world. Or through friends...

And at best it takes a couple of tries before your lucky and find the one you want.

Or you never do...

Some of the girls that never found their love become disillusioned, disappointed and bitter but stay instead of going back home. They do all they can do take revenge on foreign men, because we are all the same, just like some of you here class the Thai girls. Maybe of the same reason...

Some of the girls are not looking for love, just to get away from their poor environment and have fun, they are good playmates.

Many of us here are married happily to Thai wives - it doesn't invalidate that one should be careful and take things slowly here. I have been married to my wife for 14 years and we have two lovely kids. However, I courted my wife for two years, before we were married and I knew her history pretty much from birth onwards (my old business partner and school friend - a Thai - was her uncle).

From what Shane says, I don't believe she is on the game, but it is not only BarGirls and hookers that have learned the farang-ATM trick. I hope she is a good girl and wish him luck, but softly, softly catch a monkey.

[ShanePashen]

Shane, what you are experiencing is commonly referred to as "Jazmine Fever". Most, if not all men experience it the first time they visit Thailand. I will admit that I fell victim to it also on my first trip many years ago. It can be intoxicating and only gets worse once you are back in your home country.

There is much good advice in this thread, even though some might sound cynical. Just remember that you should maintain control of your emotions and your wallet. Enjoy the ride as it can be wild at times.

Yes I admit to being affected by "Jasmine fever" I do understand that in myself. Gulty as Charged!

Lets be honest, anyone who was married for 17 yrs (my only marriage).; things get well... very predictable in the bedroom, even though you love each other, it's not what it was at first.

Since we are all adults here, and can speak in adult concepts, a single friend (similar age, bit of a ladies man) of mine, has a rule of thumb in his relationships,

It's a simple one, he reckons once you stop performing unsolicited oral sex on each other, it's all over! Tiime to move on. He doesn't quite use those words however!

Even though after my marriage, I have had some intimate relationships with women in a similar age, I think once you have tasted the fruit of the far east, it's tough to go back.

I'd rather eat a ripe Bowen mango, than suck a lemon if you get my drift. I'm sure you do.

Keeping perspective, is the toughest thing of all, I have to admit.

Yes I have jumped the gun for sure, that is in my nature.

From what I am reading on here, I need to be so careful however.

From my reading, I just am shocked how cunning and devious some of these women are. Devoid of emotion, and heartless, springs to mind.

I will tread slowly now, if I can keep my emotions under control.

Edited February 16, 2012 by ShanePashen

[ShanePashen]

but it is not only BarGirls and hookers that have learned the farang-ATM trick.

THANKS WOLF

i DO REALLY LIKE THAT BIT,

[Semper]

No trust = no relationship. Thats how i was brought up.

But there is a little grey area. When it comes to money, i trust no-one. Not even my own parents. When money is involved, greed is not far behind.

Good luck whatever you do.

"No trust=no relationship" Do you use condoms, if so, don't you trust her?

[Ijustwannateach]

Like I've said on other threads- the surest way to avoid mercenary types is not to give anyone money. Problem is that shatters a lot of illusions that many people don't want shattered.

[rusty1976]

Problem is that shatters a lot of illusions that many people don't want shattered.

One of the best comments on how it works between farang and bar girls, it is an illusion whilst you are paying...

[transam]

Like I've said on other threads- the surest way to avoid mercenary types is not to give anyone money. Problem is that shatters a lot of illusions that many people don't want shattered.

In a nut shell.

[Tonto21]

Hi ‘Shanepashen’ Mate, you are not the first, and you will not be the last to come to Thailand……………………Fall in love and lose the plot in less time than it takes between haircuts.

Forget the girl for a minute, think……. if you’ve just come to Thailand…first time, you will as most, leave with great memories, sun, sand, chilled out nights and the feeling you’ve found the place you don’t want leave…….. Throw into that a smile of a pretty Thai woman who tells you, ‘you the man’ Wake-up!

Would you do the same, (post all this on a forum?) if you met a girl from the other end of your home country?....Maybe, I don’t know you.

This girl……You don’t know her culture, religion or background.

I have looked over your post a few times, I've no doubt your a sensible, level headed sort of guy, but if you could only read what you have written though someone else’s eyes……You would see the flaws in you proposed relationship.

Remember; up-stairs for thinking….Down-stairs for dancing. …………..And in Thailand: ‘Your girlfriend/wife may be reprocessed if you can’t keep up with the payments’

Good luck with whatever you do!

Edited February 16, 2012 by Tonto21

[wileycoyote]

I think you will have to spend much more time with the girl,in Thailand.

I would try & see if your compatible,remember you may decide that you may want to stay together so the most obvious way is spending time together now.

[pete600]

What kind of guitars have you got ?

Classic. Thy guy opens up is feeling first thing that comes to mind is what guitars have you got . Love it