Some of you will know by now that I have an allergy to a certain type of British pensioner however I have to be fair and balanced and look at the problems they face from both sides.

I still work and live in Scotland and of course I still have to pay tax to the UK treasury. After reading many different topics in relation to pensioners and their rights in Thailand I thought I would look further into the reality of the situation, especially in light of what happened to me this week.

This week I received an unexpectedly big Tax demand from the Tax Authorities, and on top of that I have been summonsed to court in connection with the Census form I returned last year. For those of you that do not know, every 10 years in the UK we must by law return a census form stating the true status of our lives and income at that moment. For example, we must tell the government about our current housing and dependent's. I have gotten into serious legal difficulty and I am looking at a massive fine or possible imprisonment due to my answers on the Census form.

However, I want to address that subject later. My Tax demand this week would be very painful for most people to face, it is my private business as to how much I have to pay but I will say it is more than most people earn in a year. Fair enough, if I earn the money I need to pay the tax. It got me thinking about many of my retired colleagues who are still within the taxation system. It seems to be the case that after a lifetime of work and setting aside, they are being doubly penalised. Too many people that did not contribute to the system over the years seem to be able to live the Life of Reilly, while many people find themselves just over the limit for state assistance in retirement and end up having to pay full Council Tax and be denied other benefits.

This benefit trap then results in many pensioners who have saved all their lives ending up poorer than the feckless people who blew all their money and more on wine, women, and song. To be fair, if your going to spend money that is the best way to spend it however it is not fair on the pensioners who waited and saved every penny only to find that the Viagra doesn't work, you can't drink so much as your now incontinent, and your voice has taken on that peculiar wobble that comes with age.

Many of these people saved and worked with the idea of retiring to their place in the Sun. My place in the Sun when I retire will be Thailand, and I am very aware of the problems that pensioners face in Thailand as they keep going on and on and on about them. So let's have a loom at the lot of the average pensioner in Thailand.

Many complain about immigrants such as Abu Qatada living in the UK. If we can take the experience of the average Pakistani immigrant to the UK and compare it to the average UK pensioner living in Thailand it makes some very interesting reading.

The National Health Service. Many Thai based pensioners complain that they cannot get free treatment on the National Health Service, this disturbs me on two levels, one being that I was always told that schooling during the 40's and 50's was excellent in the UK. This cannot be true, as current pensioners would be aware of the difference between the words "National" and "International". It is not the International Health Service, it is available to people who actually live within the nation known as the UK, people like Abu Qatada, hence the name "National Health Service". I would now suggest that TV bans all further discussions on this issue as it has now been explained to these poorly educated pensioners that to qualify you must actually live in the UK. Luckily, the Pakistani immigrants do want to live in the UK and if it wasn't for them the NHS would cease to function. The Pakistani Doctors are a joy to know and I am very happy that their campaign to have Mosques built in to every new hospital has succeeded. We need religion in the UK, and now we have the sad state of affairs where every Church in my town is a carpet shop.

Many Thai based pensioners complain that the Pakistani community are in the habit of making a living in the UK and exporting the money to Pakistan where they look after their families and build large houses. This is a very valid argument and I believe we should ban forthwith the right of anyone to choose to emigrate back to their homelands after a lifetime of work. All pensions should be paid to people living in the UK only, and anyone found with a house built with funds earned from the UK in places such as Islamabad, Iraq and Isaan should be arrested at the airport. We cannot be having double standards.

On that subject, I understand that many people will face a lot of emotional turmoil when they have to tell their foreign families that they can no longer fund their lavish lifestyles. People in Pakistan will no longer be able to fund their children through the militant Madrassas, they will have to pawn their Kalishnikovs and rocket launchers, and cancel their subscription to the Taliban Weekly Gazzette. In Thailand this withdrawal would have a devastating effect upon the local economy. The price of Gold would drop like a stone, tattoo parlours would shut in their droves, and the United Nations estimates that famine would follow very quickly as the Water Buffalo population would expire within a matter of days if funding for their chronic medical conditions was withdrawn.

The emotional toll would be even worse though, many aged and wrinkled pensioners would be faced with the stark reality that their beautiful pre-teen looking wives ( Asian women always look young for their age, really, they do ), didn't really think they were a "handsum man", that they didn't really think that they were wise and funny, and the best they ever had in bed. In fact, the wife is wanting a divorce, and if you don't agree to it quickly she knows where to buy a second hand Kalishnikov cheap. On the bright side their would be a massive drop in the demand for adult pampers in Thailand, ( that incontinence really can strike at any-time ).

So on the whole I think we should just leave things as they are, and accept that people living in a country where you have average temps of 29 degrees don't really need the Winter Heating Allowance, and they have a cheek asking for an annual pension increase when the price of a tin of Heinz beans in the UK is now 45 baht.

Let's go back to my current legal difficulty in regards to my Census form. I filled in the form accurately in every way, in fact it was too accurate. Hence I now have a Tax bill for undeclared earnings, ( I really am an idiot). The part of the form that has got me into trouble though was the part in connection with my Dependent's. I declared that my Dependent's were............."MP's, Asylum Seekers, Prisoners, Gypsies, Greece, Ireland, Portugal, Drug Addicts, Northern Rock, and thousands of Wingeing British Pensioners living in Thailand".

For that I am now looking at a jail sentence. Oh well, maybe I'll get to meet Abu Qatada, at least he wants to live in Britain.

Your Whinge, contains more holes than a Cheese Grater,and I really am too weary and can't be bothered,to reply and feed your Obsession with UK Ex Pats and their Pensions.

No doubt you will have a fine to pay. You should have paid your Tax Bill on or before the 31 January. I paid mine on the 28th just to be sure.

You had plenty of warnings.

I am one of the Pensioners who pays Tax and Council Tax Dental Charges + glasses Because I did save for my retirement. I do agree it makes you wonder if it was worth it

Edited March 3, 201214 yr by kennkate

No doubt you will have a fine to pay. You should have paid your Tax Bill on or before the 31 January. I paid mine on the 28th just to be sure.

You had plenty of warnings.

Whoooooooosh! (Again!).

Your Whinge, contains more holes than a Cheese Grater,and I really am too weary and can't be bothered,to reply and feed your Obsession with UK Ex Pats and their Pensions.

Excuse me......you just replied!!

No doubt you will have a fine to pay. You should have paid your Tax Bill on or before the 31 January. I paid mine on the 28th just to be sure.

You had plenty of warnings.

Whoooooooosh! (Again!).

Speaking of which ... the Aussies are doing well in the cricket just now ... if only R. Pointing can be in the side which crushes the Poms in the next Ashes series.

Truth be known ... secretly we want to beat India more nowadays.

At the risk of repeating your post ... Whoooooooosh ... through to the Keeper.

The Blether is pretty accurate for a nickname

Your Whinge, contains more holes than a Cheese Grater,and I really am too weary and can't be bothered,to reply and feed your Obsession with UK Ex Pats and their Pensions.

Ever seen a "wind up" before?

The Blether is pretty accurate for a nickname

Thanks very much, my last name is Skite.

You will probably have a better pension than most when you come to join us, but when you do and you may see the reality of ex pats living here, be prepared to change your opinion on a few things, I have lost count of the number of people who have come here thinking that western views, standards and practices are the same here, they are not and you are entitled to your views, some of them I share some I dont. I have always been brought up to be thrify and be fair, neither of which apply to the UK Governments, they spend my taxes and then deny me my annual pension increase, heads you win, tails I lose!

Even after saying that life is better here so I think I will hang around a bit longer, maybe we will meet up one day you never know.

By the way thank you for iformation on I C E I would make that more generally available especially for those thinking they can get away with telling fibs to the pension service!

Edited March 4, 201214 yr by exeter

My pleasure exeter, as endure and semper have rightly pointed out the post is a wind up. Like every good wind up there has to be a large dollop of truth and a touch of absurdity.

Anyone that read it and took it seriously should read it again and recognize it as a parody of many of the views we see here on Thaivisa.

I'll man the barricades to help protect anyones right to free choice, the right to a fair days work for a fair days pay, and the right to enjoy the fruits of their labour.

However I reserve the right to take an axe to the absurdities that I see written here. Too many people indulge in festivals of self pity and racism on this forum. I take pleasure in ridiculing them.

One particular reply to my OP deserves ridicule but I will allow that particular reply to pass without comment.

If anyone sees a particular British pensioner shopping around for a cheap kalishnikov please let me know.

Maybe the OP should extend his thinking on the subject of those Pakistanis, to encompass all foreigners and in particular the Oat Meal Savages who pay the same taxes as the rest of the UK but have handed themselves free NHS Prescriptions while hanging on to free higher education ( at the National ... ie UK tax payer's expense).

Don't get me wrong, I'm not 'Anti Sweaty Sock' I'm all for Scotland being granted independence, they can then move off the side dish of hating the English and get back to the main course of hating each other.

Scottish Independence might of course not happen, we therefore need a plan B

I have in mind repairing Hadrian's wall, making it water tight and letting the constant rain slowly flood everything north of the wall.

We might then pipe the water, like the oil, south.

If ones education were sufficient, one could argue the UK National Health Service was for the use of UK Nationals.

Still, glad you have come clean and admitted your crimes of falsifying census returns and evading income tax.

I would like to suggest 25 more years in the UK would be a suitable punishment.

PS

A fair days work for a fair days pay is for mugs.

I want 100 days pay for 10 minutes work, same as all the other bankers get!

Edited March 4, 201214 yr by ludditeman

Scottish Independence might of course not happen, we therefore need a plan B

I have in mind repairing Hadrian's wall, making it water tight and letting the constant rain slowly flood everything north of the wall.

We might then pipe the water, like the oil, south.

You can't hate that which you pity.

Anyway it was and English landslide victory for the Labour party that handed us the devolved parliament, so thanks for that. We are thoroughly enjoying the freebie care for the elderly, free higher education and no prescription charges. Happy days.

Sticking to topic, it's a bit absurd to reply to an anti-racist op with a racial attack on Scots.

If ones education were sufficient, one could argue the UK National Health Service was for the use of UK Nationals.

Still, glad you have come clean and admitted your crimes of falsifying census returns and evading income tax.

I would like to suggest 25 more years in the UK would be a suitable punishment.

PS

A fair days work for a fair days pay is for mugs.

I want 100 days pay for 10 minutes work, same as all the other bankers get!

I would get less time for murder....can I appeal the sentence?

I really did try and stay awake through the whole of the OPs post, but my eyes just closed after the first hour and 15 minutes when I managed to get as far as the first quarter.

So to save me time, what`s it all about and did the butler do it?

I really did try and stay awake through the whole of the OPs post, but my eyes just closed after the first hour and 15 minutes when I managed to get as far as the first quarter.

So to save me time, what`s it all about and did the butler do it?

Well briefly, the butler did do it, ludditeman framed me, and i've been sentenced to 25 years listening to MAGIC winge.

Cruel and unusual punishment.

If ones education were sufficient, one could argue the UK National Health Service was for the use of UK Nationals.

Still, glad you have come clean and admitted your crimes of falsifying census returns and evading income tax.

I would like to suggest 25 more years in the UK would be a suitable punishment.

PS

A fair days work for a fair days pay is for mugs.

I want 100 days pay for 10 minutes work, same as all the other bankers get!

Unfortunately, to get the job you have to apply.

SC

TV forum is rapidly becoming TB forum!