Internet Dating Or Goings To Bars.....?

[kerryk]

Dear Hardened Soul,

I got here for the first time when I was 22, now I am an old codger. I know what I am talking about with the Pandora's box effect.

The danger for a young man is not being able to duplicate what he finds in Thailand in the West; dooming him to a second class life here while forgoing the opportunities of his homeland.

[exeter]

The Brummie/west midlands accent is a definite impediment. This is not a problem on the keyboard but face to face it could be a stumper! If you are only coming for a relatively short time span does it really matter? Are you looking for a lifetime soulmate now or are you coming for sex, forget it and go home? If its the later you might just as well see whats on the menu everyday, might be some good specials.

I have never had any problem "pulling birds" here and I am well over 50, although I have my soulmate for life I know enough to know to detect when other females find me a "handsome man", a position I thought I left some time ago, but then things are somewhat different here are they not?

[ayayay]

No, but you fail to see the most important thing here. We are not thais.

Almost all regular thai would NEVER, I repeat, NEVER go to the clubs where we foreigners hang out.

The girls who actively seek these places out, are there to meet a foreigner. And the number one reason why they do that IS MONEY.

The local clubs/ bars/ restaurant- bars everywhere away from tourist areas are full of financially independant girls after men of their own age and only men their own age.

Yes, but these financially independent thai girls will never, or extremely seldom, go with a foreigner.

And if they do, they do it with money as a strong motivator

The guys I read about who says they never go to Nana, and only pick up "normal" girls, through dating sites, or in the shopping mall, they also fail to understand that regular thai girls DO NOT go out with a foreigner, and even less, they do NOT sleep with the total stranger on the third date.

It just shows how totally clueless some people are.

All thai females that dates foreign men are doing it with MONEY in mind, does it mean that they cant feel love as well, of course not, but MONEY is important to them.

Everyone else, stop fooling yourselves.

In reply to the first part of your reply:

Certainly not clubs around Nana, Cowboy or Spicey and other sex tourist places ,but well off non gold digging Thai girls certainly go to places like Bed and supper club etc and more expensive bars in Bangkok that farangs frequent. Plenty of farnags go to places up ratchada where the girls going there are young and can afford the cost of drinks there. Amongst many other clubs and areas I'm too old for now and of course 99% of the bars in the country that some farangs venture to. Hardened Soul hit the nail on the head.

In reply to the second part:

I'm trying to write this without sounding like a wanke_r, but my wife went to a school where the girls are rather wealthy, 10 of her friends married farangs, plus her of course. Her Thai university is a place often attended by people with more bucks than brains one of her friends from there won't go out with Thai men, farang only. Another is married to an Australian and another hasn't gone out with a Thai man for years. None of them need a farang for money, but they all have one thing in common; they are only interested in men their own age who aren't weird, racist or boring. Except the wife who puts up with me.

Oh and I still go to Nana and Cowboy on occassion the wife has come to cowboy with me a couple of times for a gogle, but can't stand the falseness of it. That suits me.

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

Edited April 9, 2012 by ayayay

[IanForbes]

Dear Hardened Soul,

I got here for the first time when I was 22, now I am an old codger. I know what I am talking about with the Pandora's box effect.

The danger for a young man is not being able to duplicate what he finds in Thailand in the West; dooming him to a second class life here while forgoing the opportunities of his homeland.

Good post, Kerry. I sometimes wonder what would have happened to me had I come to Thailand 40 years sooner than I did. I'm not sure now what I might have done. Despite what some guys think, it's easy to get bored of too much lovin. There has to be a lot more to that in life.

I always wanted the home, wife, children, family thing, but not until I found the most compatible woman that fit all the categories I thought necessary. I was with dozens of hotties in my late teens and early twenties, but every one of them had some failing. Many were too crazy and I knew they would not make good mothers, others looked and acted sexy but were duds in bed. Still others were frankly too stupid and could not carry on a sensible conversation. Others I knew would turn into instant fatties the moment we were married. I only had to look at their mothers to know that. It wasn't easy finding the right woman, despite all the gals available. Eventually I had to settle for second best in many categories I felt were important. I believe many women did the same thing with me on their list of candidates.

I'm not sure that I COULD find a suitable women in Thailand for a long term relationship. I'm just too fussy. The culture is too different and I'm too much a wanderer. I like my freedom too much

[Koratpat]

Frankly if you cannot speak Thai you would do better in the Philippines.

What a death sentence!

[Hostile17]

nonsense

I had to register for this.

Your personal story does not mean it is the same for the average. If you are bellow average looking and poor and can't find a date, don't plate it on being poor. Blame it on being boring and ugly/fat/whatever.

Most thai women would LOVE to be with a GOOD foreigner. 6.5/10 +'s We have a small thai restaurants with not many farangs coming in as we sell issaan food. Most thai women from 15 to 70 who come in, married or not are always asking if i am single and looking or if one of the other farang that seldom eats in is. Not to us. To the staff. They're not only looking for farangs but if they could get one they would be very happy with it. Lot's of them would equally love one of the few very good thai men, good looking with a good job and hates alchool but their numbers are getting lower every year and most thais have to settle with shitbags who have a bunch of mianois or with someone ugly and desperate. There's a lot of women in this country compared to men, and a lot of gay men. Farangs are Manlier in general.

Now if you move to actually educated women, the number of them interested in farangs is even higher because they've been exposed to a lot of western culture and they love it. Most educated women i have to deal with actually loath 80% of thailand just like thaivisa posters. They hate the dirty thai men throwing garbage and shit everywhere, they hate soi dogs, they hate the scams(theres a lot of scam aimed to towards honest thais), they hate the driving etc etc. From my experience and reading on this forum, the women who don't want to leave thailand are usually the bargirls which always makes me smirk when the posters use the 'she doesnt want to come to my home country so shes a good girl' excuse.

Dont forget, everything i said is aimed towards a farang man that could get a nice girl in his country, if you couldnt you're still subpar and useless here. Hell i know a bunch of rich fat guys who still cant get anything but ugly good girls and bargirls that arent that great either. People get the misconception that money gets you hot girls.. no it doesnt. Those with money here and hotgirls are usualy cool too. Even if they're buttugly, the hotgirls will go for someone they will enjoy mentally with all the choices they have.

As far as talking to a girl in a mall for 5mins and getting a date, this works very well with normal uni girls, the problem is nowadays young thai girls in bangkok are so close to sex that a high % of them are asian hookers working the old asian men for cellphones and laptops so who knows what you have found. But then again.. 16-22 year old girls in the west are often the same.. getting banged left and right in orgies.. its the new generation. At least here they get cellphones.

[Koratpat]

I asked my wife how come some Thai women ditch their farang. She told me that mostly it is because he will not eat their food and will refuse to eat at the times they eat. and this gets on the Thai wonan's nerves in the long run, dooming the relationship.

That seems a tad childish. My wife and I eat a mixture of Thai, Asian, American, European, British, Mediterranean, Mexican, Arab and Indian food with no issues. Nor do we have an issue on meal times. How can that be. It is simple - breakfast, lunch and dinner!

According to her, the farang that a Thai woman likes most is a farang who will be casual about eating with them and who will make no difficulties at mealtimes in front of their friends and their family. This means he will eat Thai food as Thais eat it, not the "Thai food" especially prepared for farangs.

Gaaaawd! We hardly ever eat with family and almost never with her Thai friends unless we meet up for a birthday party or a wedding.

[arthurwait]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

[ayayay]

A bunch of thai male and thai culture bashing nonsense

Wow, I think you just wrote the worst crap of text in the whole history of thaivisa. And that says a lot.

[ayayay]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

Did youi even read my post?

Just because a female has money herself does not mean she is not interested in money.

I don´t look down on prostitutes or females that likes money, you are the one who thinks prostitues are bad, and to the end try to defend your thai relationship.

i do not have a problem with girls who like money, I DO have a problem with girls who ONLY like money, and I do have problems with foreigners who think their thai girlsfriend did not pick them because of money. Hopefully, it is a combination of money AND love, and not only money.

Yeah, I challenge you, tell her, you only have 12000 thb to live on and see what happens, she will most likely leave you within two years.

I don´t judge thai foreign relationships, I do pity people like you you obviously know some things, but still missing some basic understanding of human behavior

In Thailand, it is not uncommon to combine love and money in a very explicit way, something that us foreigners will have difficulties to understand. Some thai females have learned to tone it down when they interact with us, but still, it is an important thing. Even so in the west, but less explicit.

[arthurwait]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

Did youi even read my post?

Just because a female has money herself does not mean she is not interested in money.

I don´t look down on prostitutes or females that likes money, you are the one who thinks prostitues are bad, and to the end try to defend your thai relationship.

i do not have a problem with girls who like money, I DO have a problem with girls who ONLY like money, and I do have problems with foreigners who think their thai girlsfriend did not pick them because of money. Hopefully, it is a combination of money AND love, and not only money.

Yeah, I challenge you, tell her, you only have 12000 thb to live on and see what happens, she will most likely leave you within two years.

I don´t judge thai foreign relationships, I do pity people like you you obviously know some things, but still missing some basic understanding of human behavior

In Thailand, it is not uncommon to combine love and money in a very explicit way, something that us foreigners will have difficulties to understand. Some thai females have learned to tone it down when they interact with us, but still, it is an important thing. Even so in the west, but less explicit.

I think you need to see a doctor.

[xavierr]

I asked my wife how come some Thai women ditch their farang. She told me that mostly it is because he will not eat their food and will refuse to eat at the times they eat. and this gets on the Thai wonan's nerves in the long run, dooming the relationship.

That seems a tad childish. My wife and I eat a mixture of Thai, Asian, American, European, British, Mediterranean, Mexican, Arab and Indian food with no issues. Nor do we have an issue on meal times. How can that be. It is simple - breakfast, lunch and dinner!

According to her, the farang that a Thai woman likes most is a farang who will be casual about eating with them and who will make no difficulties at mealtimes in front of their friends and their family. This means he will eat Thai food as Thais eat it, not the "Thai food" especially prepared for farangs.

Gaaaawd! We hardly ever eat with family and almost never with her Thai friends unless we meet up for a birthday party or a wedding.

You may dismiss my comments, but I wonder what you are trying to achieve by trying to paint the picture rosier than it is:

#1Not childish, I am always interested in knowing what can make the relationship work; if you personally have no problems consider yourself fortunate. My wife has friends who ended their relationship with their foreign husband for different reasons. In one case the husband didn't like the smell of Thai food and didn't allow her to cook at home. It didn't last long.

#2You may hardly ever eat with family, but Thai women usually have a large extended family. This is very normal in Asia, and not every woman manages to avoid her family and restrict visits to a minimum.

Edited April 9, 2012 by xavierr

[ayayay]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

Did youi even read my post?

Just because a female has money herself does not mean she is not interested in money.

I don´t look down on prostitutes or females that likes money, you are the one who thinks prostitues are bad, and to the end try to defend your thai relationship.

i do not have a problem with girls who like money, I DO have a problem with girls who ONLY like money, and I do have problems with foreigners who think their thai girlsfriend did not pick them because of money. Hopefully, it is a combination of money AND love, and not only money.

Yeah, I challenge you, tell her, you only have 12000 thb to live on and see what happens, she will most likely leave you within two years.

I don´t judge thai foreign relationships, I do pity people like you you obviously know some things, but still missing some basic understanding of human behavior

In Thailand, it is not uncommon to combine love and money in a very explicit way, something that us foreigners will have difficulties to understand. Some thai females have learned to tone it down when they interact with us, but still, it is an important thing. Even so in the west, but less explicit.

I think you need to see a doctor.

I think you need to get a reality check

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Totally depends on what you're looking for.

They're all looking for money. (99.99% = a reasonable definition of "all" to me)

If you don't mind that you'll do fine both online and in the bars. If you avoid girls that are explicitly looking for cash on the nail, you will end up with ones playing the long con, and IMO it will be a lot more trouble and costly in the long run, unless you are trying to scam them, which can cost you a lot more trouble.

If you're really looking for a nice innocent girl to marry, then avoid both the internet and bars, you'll need to learn Thai and go upcountry.

This would be difficult to do on a short trip, I would think a couple of months minimum, and that's if you're a quick learner.

If you have a lot of money, you can find a trustworthy Thai-speaking guide who will look out for your interests and not try to scam you. Down-and-out English teachers etc are more likely than any Thai.

You need to give more detail as to what you're looking for.

[longstebe]

Good girls bad girls.

There's no saying which is the best way to go. Try both options like you mention many many times then see how you feel.

[HardenedSoul]

Dear Hardened Soul,

I got here for the first time when I was 22, now I am an old codger. I know what I am talking about with the Pandora's box effect.

The danger for a young man is not being able to duplicate what he finds in Thailand in the West; dooming him to a second class life here while forgoing the opportunities of his homeland.

I agree that it's nigh on impossible to find the quantity or quality of potential female partners available to what are - let's face it - unremarkable men who are limited to heifers in their homelands - no argument there but there are a hell of a lot of younger guys who are here - right now - working, earning and having a good time with the girls. For many of them, these opportunities in their homelands you allude to just don't exist any more.

There are no jobs for life; there's no free further education, incomes and living standards are falling.

I got here when I was 41 and looking back, I should've made the move at 31.

[Koratpat]

xavierr'

You may dismiss my comments, but I wonder what you are trying to achieve by trying to paint the picture rosier than it is:

I am not dismissing your comments. But if some poor farang marries a Thai girl that has a Thai - world only mentality, then shame on him. A farang that chooses the right Thai girl for a mate can have a very "rosy" relationship.

#1Not childish,

It is very childish - 2nd grade childish - to end a relationship over meals and meal time.

I am always interested in knowing what can make the relationship work;

What works is for both people to realize the obvious - that they are in a cross cultural relationship and both have to give and take. A farang needs to find love with a girl that is willing to try new things and that includes food, travel, entertainment, new ideas ect. An average bar girl is not that gal.

if you personally have no problems consider yourself fortunate.

I consider myself more than fortunate.

My wife has friends who ended their relationship with their foreign husband for different reasons. In one case the husband didn't like the smell of Thai food and didn't allow her to cook at home. It didn't last long.

That farang was stupid.

#2You may hardly ever eat with family,

We do, but rarely. They have their family and we have ours.

]but Thai women usually have a large extended family.

My wife has one.

This is very normal in Asia, and not every woman manages to avoid her family and restrict visits to a minimum.

There is no restriction or avoidance. When we married, her family made it a point and continues to make it a point to allow us to have our own lives.

What I tire of is the "culture" excuse - by Thais and farangs alike. Culture should not be the patent answer to cover blatant stubbornness, stupidity, lack of manners, childish behavior and a host of other silliness. .

[HardenedSoul]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

Listen to what you're saying.

Your absolutism suggests that you've had your heart handed to you by some Thai bird and now everything is black & white for you - even in an area as replete with shades of grey as male/female relationships.

Sure, 95% of the ones that go to Spicy, Shock39 and other tourist-oriented venues are looking for punters with money but I've seen plenty of normal Thais in places like Q Bar, Long Table, Iron Fairies etc. Thai girls with their Thai boyfriends and foreign friends relaxing with some drinks.

You're right that most regular Thai girls aren't looking for a foreign guy to date. Indeed, most of the time, foreign guys don't even register in their minds as potential partners but then again, why should they when most of the available pool of non-Thai guys don't speak their language?

But get this; a decent-looking, gainfully-enmployed foreigner who speaks Thai relatively well has a perfectly good chance of landing high quality Thai totty even though she may not have had the intention of dating a foreigner. To these girls, if he speaks Thai, looks decent and they can see themselves fuc_king him, they don't give a monkey's if he ain't Thai.

You need to re-evaluate your ideas about women because writing <deleted> like wealthy Western women rule a guy out because he doesn't make as much money as them could give the impression you know nothing about them

[kerryk]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

Listen to what you're saying.

Your absolutism suggests that you've had your heart handed to you by some Thai bird and now everything is black & white for you - even in an area as replete with shades of grey as male/female relationships.

Sure, 95% of the ones that go to Spicy, Shock39 and other tourist-oriented venues are looking for punters with money but I've seen plenty of normal Thais in places like Q Bar, Long Table, Iron Fairies etc. Thai girls with their Thai boyfriends and foreign friends relaxing with some drinks.

You're right that most regular Thai girls aren't looking for a foreign guy to date. Indeed, most of the time, foreign guys don't even register in their minds as potential partners but then again, why should they when most of the available pool of non-Thai guys don't speak their language?

But get this; a decent-looking, gainfully-enmployed foreigner who speaks Thai relatively well has a perfectly good chance of landing high quality Thai totty even though she may not have had the intention of dating a foreigner. To these girls, if he speaks Thai, looks decent and they can see themselves fuc_king him, they don't give a monkey's if he ain't Thai.

You need to re-evaluate your ideas about women because writing <deleted> like wealthy Western women rule a guy out because he doesn't make as much money as them could give the impression you know nothing about them

Well, we don't agree about the guys but you are certainly correct about the women.

[Hostile17]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

Did youi even read my post?

Just because a female has money herself does not mean she is not interested in money.

I don´t look down on prostitutes or females that likes money, you are the one who thinks prostitues are bad, and to the end try to defend your thai relationship.

i do not have a problem with girls who like money, I DO have a problem with girls who ONLY like money, and I do have problems with foreigners who think their thai girlsfriend did not pick them because of money. Hopefully, it is a combination of money AND love, and not only money.

Yeah, I challenge you, tell her, you only have 12000 thb to live on and see what happens, she will most likely leave you within two years.

I don´t judge thai foreign relationships, I do pity people like you you obviously know some things, but still missing some basic understanding of human behavior

In Thailand, it is not uncommon to combine love and money in a very explicit way, something that us foreigners will have difficulties to understand. Some thai females have learned to tone it down when they interact with us, but still, it is an important thing. Even so in the west, but less explicit.

My gf came with me while i was barely making 50k baht per month while her ex was making 250k+ and was good looking and young and in shape.

After that i made a lot more than that and now im barely making that and we've been together 5years.. She could of gone back to him anytime, he'd give the world for it.

Some of her friends are supporting mid 20's early 30's farangs who make 15k per month. They're definitely not ugly.

The only thing that you should learn from this thread is that your failures come from your bad personality.

Edited April 9, 2012 by Hostile17

[manarak]

nonsense

I had to register for this.

Your personal story does not mean it is the same for the average. If you are bellow average looking and poor and can't find a date, don't plate it on being poor. Blame it on being boring and ugly/fat/whatever.

Most thai women would LOVE to be with a GOOD foreigner. 6.5/10 +'s We have a small thai restaurants with not many farangs coming in as we sell issaan food. Most thai women from 15 to 70 who come in, married or not are always asking if i am single and looking or if one of the other farang that seldom eats in is. Not to us. To the staff. They're not only looking for farangs but if they could get one they would be very happy with it. Lot's of them would equally love one of the few very good thai men, good looking with a good job and hates alchool but their numbers are getting lower every year and most thais have to settle with shitbags who have a bunch of mianois or with someone ugly and desperate. There's a lot of women in this country compared to men, and a lot of gay men. Farangs are Manlier in general.

Now if you move to actually educated women, the number of them interested in farangs is even higher because they've been exposed to a lot of western culture and they love it. Most educated women i have to deal with actually loath 80% of thailand just like thaivisa posters. They hate the dirty thai men throwing garbage and shit everywhere, they hate soi dogs, they hate the scams(theres a lot of scam aimed to towards honest thais), they hate the driving etc etc. From my experience and reading on this forum, the women who don't want to leave thailand are usually the bargirls which always makes me smirk when the posters use the 'she doesnt want to come to my home country so shes a good girl' excuse.

Dont forget, everything i said is aimed towards a farang man that could get a nice girl in his country, if you couldnt you're still subpar and useless here. Hell i know a bunch of rich fat guys who still cant get anything but ugly good girls and bargirls that arent that great either. People get the misconception that money gets you hot girls.. no it doesnt. Those with money here and hotgirls are usualy cool too. Even if they're buttugly, the hotgirls will go for someone they will enjoy mentally with all the choices they have.

As far as talking to a girl in a mall for 5mins and getting a date, this works very well with normal uni girls, the problem is nowadays young thai girls in bangkok are so close to sex that a high % of them are asian hookers working the old asian men for cellphones and laptops so who knows what you have found. But then again.. 16-22 year old girls in the west are often the same.. getting banged left and right in orgies.. its the new generation. At least here they get cellphones.

This is the truth.

[oldsailor35]

After reading the various responses I think I will use both the Internet and the bars and generally just have some fun.

As this is my first visit I am not really looking for anything serious, just seeing what Thailand has to offer the single man.

Am thinking of splitting my visit to say a month in Ko Samui or Pattaya and then a month in maybe Chiang Mai.

Hopefully this will give me some contrast as to what Thailand is all about and thoughts about possible future retirement locations.

Any feedback on my location choices or alternatives would be welcome.

Thanks.

I would prefer Ao Nang beach area in Krabi rather than Ko Samui. Ko Samui, like Phuket, is over priced for what you get. Pattaya is cheaper than both and is larger with more options. Chiang Mai has a much limited bar scene to Pattaya, but there's still enough to keep you interested. JUST DON'T FALL IN LOVE!!!

Nothing wrong with Samui, there are lots of farang happily living here and after visiting the other mentioned places, this suits me the best !

[oldsailor35]

Most Thai women are seeking money AKA stability, as women do in the West. I found the difference to be that many Thai women are often unappreciated by the Thai men who have been raised to believe that by virtue of being male they are superior.

Oh no, another victim brainwashed by western feminist media

No, not brainwashed at all. I abhor feminists, which is another reason why Thai women are so appealing to me.

Maybe you haven't noticed the extreme arrogance of many Thai men. I haven't heard many complaints from Thai women, but I've sure experienced the male Thai dominance first hand. There are no ruder people in existence. And have you ever heard of a Thai man entering into a relationship with a single Thai mother other than exclusively for sex? The Thai male wouldn't be caught dead raising another man's children as his own. They actually believe that they are 'above' that, which is one reason why it is so easy for Western men to attract Thai women. For us it's about the woman, not about whether she has children from another man.

Speak for yourself, I wouldn't be comfortable raising someone elses child. Sorry.

Why not ?

[dominique355]

Do online dating - in bars and discos 90% will be working girls or gold diggers - respectable Thai girls either don't go to such places or only in groups and are not easily approachable.

On some occasions, girls are out to "get a falang", just to try. Can be the case in Bangkok with university girls going in herds to discos. Happened to me one time, memorable night. Just after the highest moment of the night, the girl laughed loud and exclaimed "Po farang!!!"

LOL.

That being said, p4p in Thailand is not the same as back home. Some of the working girls make very sweet and good companions, Just remember to keep your wits.

Or forget any advice and just use every occasion to go out, and you shall find what you seek.

<flame removed> 100% of the girls in bars are working girls thats where they work for christ sake

where do you get the 90% from are the other 10% there to study religion

You are flat out wrong. It shows how little you know about Thailand. I know at least 15 women who work in bars in the supposed raunchy part of Chiang Mai that DO NOT go with customers. And, it is men like you that give Thailand a bad name for treating all women like hookers.

You are flat out wrong. Thai females who actively looking to approach foreigners, do it with one intention in mind, get connected with a man who has money.

Some of them do it more explicitly, the ones you call prostitutes, others do it less explicitly, but still, for the same reason.

And of course there are shades of gray in between, but love and money is a VERY strong reason for the thai female to look for a foreign male.

Everyone who believes otherwise, are disillusioned.

Isn't that true for any woman, not only Thai females and Farang guys?

Biologically women are programmed to seek stability and safety to bring up offspring. Nothing wrong with that, that's nature.

Men, on the other hand, are programmed to spread their genes, nothing wrong with that neither, but strangely, morality has it that male behavor is considered bad and femal behavor is good, virtuous. Why?

[oldsailor35]

The fact that some guys in here have had disaster ridden relationships with bar girls, does not mean that all bar girls are bad. In fact i am sure that there some in here who have married or set up home with an ex bar girl and are very happy with a faithful loving wife or partner. There are many reasons for a girl to go working in a bar so they have to be respected. Yes there are some really bad ones, but please give the good ones a go ! I have friends with ex bar girl wives and they have proved to be as good and better than many. So please stop all this narrow minded rubbish that all bar girls are to be avoided. Just be careful who you choose, that's all.

[New2LOS]

Maybe you haven't noticed the extreme arrogance of many Thai men. I haven't heard many complaints from Thai women, but I've sure experienced the male Thai dominance first hand. There are no ruder people in existence. And have you ever heard of a Thai man entering into a relationship with a single Thai mother other than exclusively for sex? The Thai male wouldn't be caught dead raising another man's children as his own. They actually believe that they are 'above' that, which is one reason why it is so easy for Western men to attract Thai women. For us it's about the woman, not about whether she has children from another man.

Few young farang men are willing to raise another man's child either, that is an instant disqualification for anything more than sex to most. Lots of older ones don't want as well, especially if they've already raised their own. Single mothers aren't exactly in high demand among most guys.

For most, including me, it is preferable not to raise another's children. What I was saying is that, at least for me, it is not a per se disqualification. However, for Thai men it appears to be.

Regarding another's post in response to mine, I was not comparing Thai women to Thai men, or one sex being superior to another.

[ayayay]

In reply to the first part. The thai females that goes to Q bar, Nana Plaza, Bed Supper Club, Spicy, Bossy, they do it for one reason. To meet a foreigner.

Regular thais DO NOT go to these places at all, In fact, regular thais does NOT EVEN know these places.

If you want to date a regular thai with no intention of dating a foreigner, I say, good luck. You will have to work your ass off in order to do that. A girl that you meet in the shopping mall that are willing to go on a date with you, just prior to 5 min chat in a shopping mall with a complete stranger, is NOT a regular thai girl.

In reply to your second part.

It pretty much confirms what I said before, You got targeted by a small group of thai females that wants to date a foreigner, most thai girls DO NOT SPECIFICALLY want to date a foreginer,

And I don´t know how often I see " she already had money, so it means she did not take me for money" argument.

Howcome so many guys are so clueless how girls think??

Girls who target foreigners, do that because of money, does not matter if they have their own money as well, they still do it for money. That is the problem in the west, because more and more girls are wealthy over there, fewer and fewer guys are atractive to them. Not because they can afford to be picky, BUT because they STILL want to pick a guy that earns more money than themselves.

Also try this experiment with your wife. Tell her, from now on, you only have 12 000 thb/month (a regular thai guy salary) to live on. I bet she will leave you within a year or two.

Then tell me, she did not pick you because of the money.

First of all I got taken to bed and supper club by my old house mate from university in England at the suggestion of his wife. (It was Me who choose to leave as I thought it was a load of overpriced crap). Both have done very well for themselves and have wages above the majority of Thais, but both come from regular Thai families; his were farmers in Nonthaburi (Sp?) who sold most the land to developers which allowed him to do his masters in the UK. And before you said it no I wasn't the one paying as most the night he wouldn't let me pay as it was my birthday.

My wifes friends have been there who already have farang boyfriends and don't need their money. Thai friends of hers have also been there who have Thai boyfriends or husbands. None of them were went there to look for a farang and his money because none of them need it.

I didn't get targeted by a small group of farnag hunters when I met my wife. I met her 11 years ago when we were at university in the UK through my above mentioned housemate, both were there doing masters degrees. After rent I was living on £40 a week her mum was putting a few thousand £ a month into her account. Do you really think she was targeting me for my money ?

Ok I'll try your little experiment , but I think it will just confuse her as I've never had to give her a single Baht. She really doesn't need any money from me.

You really should stop judging all Thais, farangs, women and Thai- farang relationships based on your and your mates limited experience. Maybe if you stopped with the prejudice then maybe some girl might like you enough to be with you for something other than money. Get away from the bargirl bars ( not that there's anything wrong with them, just don't judge everywhere and everyone by them) and see for yourself.

Did youi even read my post?

Just because a female has money herself does not mean she is not interested in money.

I don´t look down on prostitutes or females that likes money, you are the one who thinks prostitues are bad, and to the end try to defend your thai relationship.

i do not have a problem with girls who like money, I DO have a problem with girls who ONLY like money, and I do have problems with foreigners who think their thai girlsfriend did not pick them because of money. Hopefully, it is a combination of money AND love, and not only money.

Yeah, I challenge you, tell her, you only have 12000 thb to live on and see what happens, she will most likely leave you within two years.

I don´t judge thai foreign relationships, I do pity people like you you obviously know some things, but still missing some basic understanding of human behavior

In Thailand, it is not uncommon to combine love and money in a very explicit way, something that us foreigners will have difficulties to understand. Some thai females have learned to tone it down when they interact with us, but still, it is an important thing. Even so in the west, but less explicit.

My gf came with me while i was barely making 50k baht per month while her ex was making 250k+ and was good looking and young and in shape.

After that i made a lot more than that and now im barely making that and we've been together 5years.. She could of gone back to him anytime, he'd give the world for it.

Some of her friends are supporting mid 20's early 30's farangs who make 15k per month. They're definitely not ugly.

The only thing that you should learn from this thread is that your failures come from your bad personality.

I have a great relationship, thank you.

So, what it all boils down to, to you, is that we westerners are super handsome, and that is why it is so easy for us to get a girl in Thailand?

Do the experiment i suggestested earlier.

Tell your wife, from now on, you will earn 12 000 thb/month.

And then come back to this thread...

[kerryk]

Error

Edited April 9, 2012 by kerryk

[ayayay]

You are flat out wrong. Thai females who actively looking to approach foreigners, do it with one intention in mind, get connected with a man who has money.

Some of them do it more explicitly, the ones you call prostitutes, others do it less explicitly, but still, for the same reason.

And of course there are shades of gray in between, but love and money is a VERY strong reason for the thai female to look for a foreign male.

Everyone who believes otherwise, are disillusioned.

Isn't that true for any woman, not only Thai females and Farang guys?

Yes, but some guys live in denial, and think that womans first priority is looks, and that we are so much more charming and sexy than the thai guys, and that is the reason why some thai girls decides to "only have farang boyfriend"

I tell them, do the test, tell your wife, you are from now on, only gonna make 12000 thb /month, and see how many years she will stay. lol

[Koratpat]

I think Thai girls are attracted to personality more than anything. The goofier and nerdier you act, the more girls you get!!