'greed Running Rampant '

[eric1000]

from http://www.out-east.com

Painting by numbers...

Had an email from a reader wanting to know where to buy original art

cheaply (his email didn't work so suffer this digression). Quick

answer – too late, wrong country. Twenty years ago there were plenty

of genuine down on their luck, talented artists whose work turned up

on the street stalls – some of them got famous, others expired from an

excess of drink and angst. I have quite a few valuable works of art

bought back then for 1500-2000 baht safely stashed in farangland. Try

the handicraft centres, there's the occasional stall where a trader

acts as a middleman for some new or out of it older artist. Best bet,

though, try the big universities – you can usually just wander on in

to the campuses – and their art departments, have to be lots of

students down on their luck willing to sell their paintings to fund

their college sojourn. Also supposed to be some stalls down by the

Grand Palace where they sell stuff but can't quite recall where

exactly – sorry, will try to check it out when I am next over there.

Any readers have other suggestions, please let me know.

Beach Peaches...

Another grinning traffic cop pulled us over on the Bangkok side of

Chon Buri, told us to ride the bike with the lights turned on... news

to me, anyway. No hint of being given a ticket or asking for a bribe –

another cop shouted out welcome to Thailand with a big grin as we rode

off. Something to do with the sight of a farang plus local babe on a

Yamaha step-thru doing the Bangkok to Pattaya run? The other side of

Chon Buri, three lanes of highway were backed up with about two

million trucks plus trailers – never seen that density of madness

before, obviously boom time down on the coast. Pattaya itself was full

to bursting point on Walking Street (on the weekend) but a lot less

desperate five minutes walk in any direction away from the beach.

German retirees (in Thailand for two, three months to avoid their

winter) had taken over the Naklua end of Second Road, boasting about

their prowess in bed to each other whilst their middleaged hookers

laughed amongst themselves, high on getting a 1000 baht a day and not

having to indulge in sex with the ancients; even Viagra didn't work

any more. The Germans found it difficult to keep their hands off

anything that moved. Plenty of young, beautiful babes in the Walking

Street go-go's, but their asking prices were up to Nana levels of

rip-offs; mostly had pimps and extended families to support. Lots of

Thai youths on motorcycles fighting it out amongst themselves far from

the tourist hordes and plenty of muggings of farang going down if they

ventured far from the main drag – fools dripping in gold and expensive

jewelry. I somehow ended up drinking local whisky that I assumed was

no stronger than Mekong (came in the same shape bottle!) but later

found out it was eighty percent proof – I was dead to the world by

eleven o'clock and we had to beat a hasty retreat back to the hotel.

Low rent hotels were even going to the extreme of installing lifts to

justify keeping the prices up, though one manager did admit that the

low season would see a fifty percent reduction – if there was actually

a low season. The Brit's seem to have taken over Soi Buakhao, with

loads of small bars, snooker and darts popular – lots of elderly

hookers doing the nasty for less than 500 baht but I'd rather give

myself a hand-job. Not that I was allowed out on my own (just as well

as she-who-must-be-obeyed would've been overwhelmed with offers if I

was silly enough to let her out of my sight). A brief stopover on the

way back in Bang Saen revealed a large strip of beach with similar

promenade to Pattaya's – looked like a good place to hide out if you

already have a babe in tow. No bars that I could see in my brief

excursion but bus-loads of young Thai ladies on holiday! It's about

forty minutes from Pattaya, worth a look if you have wheels.

Cheap Drugs...

Heat, pollution and an excess of beer can do strange things to the

body. Bangkok pharmacies able to sell drugs without prescription, a

lot of self-diagnosis and prescribing goes down in the city, amongst

farang and locals alike – helped along by easy access to medical

information on the internet. Even local clinics tend to give a

cure-all amalgamate of antibiotics rather than performing an in-depth

examination. The April 27th pharmacy on the third floor of MBK (it's

sort of above Boots on the second floor) should be commended for

discounting most of the products it sells, including vitamins and

shampoos. Worth a look. The combination of heat and pollution the

worst aspect of Bangkok living – long-termers usually end up with a

nasty cough. I use Hi-C (vitamin C) , Boots garlic and fresh mango

juice (with ice) daily as a preventative measure. Works most of the

time. When it doesn't, a swig of Benadrly before sleep is worth

trying. If the cough turns nasty, a combination of pure honey, raw

apple-cider-vinegar (very nasty tasting stuff) and the odd lime or

lemon usually suffices. If all that doesn't work, then it's time for

some fresh air down on the coast. BTW, if you think farang have it

bad, try sitting down by the roadside on, say, Sukhumvit – the level

of pollution much higher nearer the ground!

Girls, girls, girls...

A number of emails from guys concerned that all the beautiful gals

have disappeared from Nana and Cowboy. Oddly, a quick poke of the head

in the newer, hardcore bars in both venues did reveal rather a lack of

babes but in a few of the older, more established bars – won't name

them as it will spoil the fun of the game – there were still plenty

available. One bar in Cowboy in particular had the stage packed out

with young newcomers, quite a few from relatively rich areas such as

Korat – much nicer in general than the Buri-ram lasses. It has to be

said that the boss of this bar – unlike many who can't keep their

peckers in their pants - doesn't leap up and down on anything that

moves and gives the gals a relatively easy time, encouraging them to

bring their friends along from upcountry. Good karma, works out well

in the end when there is a scarcity of women (don't know why, other

than the cops demanding proper medical checks – a much more

frightening prospect for owners than age/drugs checks). BTW, beer is

running at 105 baht a bottle in most Cowboy bars, still cheap compared

to the West but an annoying amount unless you carry a pocketful of 5

baht coins.

Check, check...

Looks like the Thai police have been instructed to go after the low

end tourists, doing spot checks on cheap hotel residents, hoping to

get lucky on expired and fake visas – some of the people who have paid

the visa service agencies to send their passports out of the country

may not even be aware that they could be holding fake visas. A fine, a

few nights in the police nick and deportation the likely result of

those unlucky enough to be caught out. Get out of the country whilst

you still can if you are in the unfortunate position of having an

expired or fake visa – fines at the airport preferable to going

through the deportation process (as they may not let you back in

again!). Expect such checks to be expanded to the Nana and Cowboy

nightlife areas, as well as Pattaya – if you are legal no problem as

long as you have your passport on you! Disheveled-looking farang also

being stopped in the street by cops on motorcycles. Having complained

thus, must say hats off to the friendly cop who stopped me for not

riding in the left-hand lane on my motorcycle on the way to Seacon

Square – he let me off with a warning rather than a fine. Down to

she-who-must-be-obeyed being demure, not giving him any mouth and

myself acting ignorant. Don't know what would've happened if I didn't

have my international driving licence on me, though.

Computer bargains...

Until the new subway systems gets into full swing mid-year, Fortune

Town isn't really in a good location, ill-served by buses from

Sukhumvit. If you were feeling particularly determined, you could walk

all the way to the end of Asoke and then choke your way further

forward, under and across a complex array of expressways and railway

lines, for ten minutes until the shopping centre comes into view. From

the Ekamai end of Sukhumvit, hop on the No.98 bus and hope they let

you off at the corner opposite Fortune Town. The only reason to go all

that way, a large computer centre with prices down to Pantip Plaza

levels for most things and lots of bargain priced software – it's

rather cold, mind, so take a jacket. There are some food, clothes and

beauty shops in the centre to keep the other half happy, as well as a

Tesco Lotus. Also some electronics supply shops, selling a useful

array of bits and bobs. On the new underground system, not impressed

by the lack of integration with the BTS – no sign of the latter

running their walkways directly into the subway system, let alone

common tickets. The underground's supposed to be a sealed system, no

worries about Bangkok being beneath sea level and it being inundated

in the annual floods – hopefully. Trials of the system now underway.

Wolf, wolf...

With beer prices up, closing times likely to be 12pm or 1am, the Nana

Plaza babes mostly determined to reinforce the zone's reputation as

nothing more than a brothel with some free entertainment thrown in for

good measure, and a mass exodus of tourists after the New Year, it's

really no wonder that the hordes of mangda (pimps – be they

boyfriends, husbands or just plain old hardcore pounces), starved of

easy cash from their hard-working women, are making life difficult for

the remaining customers doing the rounds of the Plaza. Fights,

cat-calls and verbal threats amongst such delights awaiting those few

stalwarts who insist the area is still a vibrant nightlife scene.

Think rabid, barking dogs and use a bit of Zen to make like they don't

exist and you should be okay. Don't try barking at them, though, as

they are rather sad souls, immersed in violence, absolutely despised

by most of Thai society as well as farang, who end up utterly ruining

the women they live off. Many of the pimps started out their lives in

the gay bars until they got lucky with the Thai women, who themselves

often visit such joints to pay Thai men for sex (power play, I guess).

If you need me to spell out the disease possibilities, then you are in

the wrong town. Can't really fault the Plaza as a place to gawp at

near naked women, though, as long as you don't mind the odd police

raid and urine check for drug abuse.

Trink Returns...

Fans of the Niteowl column can breathe a sigh of relief, the

septuagenarian has reappeared on-line at

http://www.idontgiveahoot.net, albeit at 12 dollars a year

subscription to view his weekly column – unfortunately, a Thai credit

card processor is used, unlikely that many will trust their personal

info to them. Improbable that Trink will make it into the Big Chilli

magazine as its publisher, Colin Hastings, appears to have taken oven

Trink's duties at the Bangkok Post, albeit trying to take readers more

upmarket – probably of interest to expatriates who tire of the easy

Nana and Cowboy scene but not much use to the tourist hordes who have

the same kind of bars/pubs he mentions back home and would hardly

bother spending six months savings to come to the Far East to use them

here. Meanwhile, Patpong bars have firmly entrenched themselves as an

entertainment zone rather than pick-up area, saving a lot of wear and

tear on their go-go lasses by upping the long-time charge to 4000 baht

– the girls adamant that they won't go for less; the mamasans up to

their old tricks, demanding a cut of the girls' income. Disgusting!

Just enjoy the cheap beer and head for somewhere like the disco under

the Nana Hotel - though they have upped the admission charge to 200

baht - for cheap thrills. Greed running rampant through the city at

the moment. At least the tourists hordes have started clearing out of

Pattaya which probably boasted the best mass New Year Party in the

kingdom.

Cheap Shots...

Bangkok photo-processors (Fuji, Kodak, et al) have done an excellent

job in getting the price of a film or digital print down to 4-5 baht

but it's fairly obvious that long-term they are going to be in deep

shit. The reason, the rise and rise of the digital camera. Even a low

end device, such as Fuji Finepix A101, gives more than adequate

snapshots and with a bit of tweaking when viewed in software can

produce reasonable A4 size prints. If you already own a computer and

newish, albeit low-end, inkjet printer (such as the HP 3325) then the

cost of a normal print is already under 4 baht and an A4 print goes

for less than 20 baht – assuming you hunt around for cheap but good

quality photo paper (Seacon basement, HP 230g photo paper, 10 sheets

of A4 for 100 baht) and use inkjet refills (100-150 baht in Pantip

Plaza). Already, some photo-shops are refusing to process self-made

portrait photos (inkjet prints not acceptable for passports), as they

lose the 100-150 baht from taking the shots themselves – shop around!

Even if you don't own a computer, modern printers often have cable

connections or card reader slots, allowing direct printing from the

camera. BTW, the best deal I have seen for 6 x 8 inch prints is 40

baht a pop from the print shop on the second floor in Pantip (at the

top of the elevator). DIY digital photography rapidly becomes

addictive (you also save a minor fortune on not printing the bad

shots) and I lust after the new Canon SLR digital camera, although

cheaper than in the UK by a large margin, the 45000 baht local price

is still two to three times over the top. A year or so in the future,

expect them to be sub 20k!

Charmed life...

Not withstanding vicious, thuggish, technical college students

battling it out in Bangkok's streets and Muslim bombings, raids, down

south – none of this violence aimed at farang, thank god – the City of

Angels has lived a charmed life with regards to terrorist activity and

general acts of violence against tourists (ignoring Nana Plaza pimps

who attack farang who have made them lose face in some way). I suspect

the lack of terrorism is helped along by the resident's abhorrence of

senseless acts of destruction – given the widespread poverty in parts

of the city the almost total lack of vandalism, especially compared to

Western countries, is quite unbelievable – and their willingness to

report suspicious characters to the police; a sort of informal,

collective act of Thainess. Maybe it's just that to the terrorist

swine, Thailand is to sex as Switzerland is to money. If so, the

government should be much nicer to its b-girls; not to mention all the

corporate executives who have been bowled over by the women and

decided to invest here rather than somewhere else with equal

commercial possibilities but none of the potential romantic

opportunities. Bangkok hardly a hardship posting, these days!

Modern city...

Many tourists hit on Bangkok, zoom around in air-conditioned taxi's to

air-conditioned shopping malls and restaurants, only mildly

inconvenienced by the heat when doing the temples; go home with tales

of bargain priced shopping (at prices that make residents cringe but

are still cheap compared to the West), friendly people and an

impression of a modern city tinged with historic temples. That is one

Bangkok, here's another... I am fortunate to live about a minute from

the skytrain, but during that minute I have to brave huge, imperious

rats, mangy, possibly rabid, packs of dogs, a couple of destitute

locals, crazed motorcyclists using the pavement as a shortcut and the

imprecations of a pack of diseased looking transvestites who won't

take no for an answer. Not to mention carcinogenic pollution,

incredible heat and rickety looking street stalls connected up to

potentially lethal gas cylinders. Bangkok is still twenty, even

thirty, years ahead of places like Manila, mind, but when the

government talks about building a modern satellite town can they make

it a fundamental point of its construction that ALL cars, trucks and

motorcycles are banned from its precincts. Such would be the instant

transformation of inner city living that the ethos would surely, by

popular demand, spread back into Bangkok itself.

Death by misadventure...

The mass exodus and return of the city's residents during New Year

resulted in around a 1000 deaths, mostly down to drunken and/or

drugged motorcyclists and cagers fighting it out – oddly, a lot more

died on the way out than returning. The human body can only take so

much rice whiskey. The December cold season lasted all of two weeks,

and very nice it was too. Now it's back to morale sapping heat,

ridiculous levels of pollutants and a generally insane feeling to the

city; even the mosquitoes have gone into a man-eating frenzy. I spent

New Year's eve in Patpong, the climax seeing the farang boss of Radio

City going into a complete rant in the toilet after someone had

sprayed his best suit (and bald head to add insult to injury) with red

dye as he toasted in zero hour on the stage. The bar owners were well

behaved in the Pong, no increased beer prices unlike on Nana Plaza

where a number of bars sprung that surprise without telling the

punters beforehand – naughty. As she-who-must-be-obeyed was along for

the ride, I can't comment on Patpong New Year's eve bar-fines and the

like...

Shop til you drop...

Thais love to shop and despite the New Year's mass exodus places like

Mabookroong were absolutely heaving with farang and locals alike but I

did detect a much deeper reluctance on shopkeepers' part to bargain

down to the usual absurd levels and I ended up buying most of my stuff

in Tesco Lotus, where they had black jeans for 99 baht which were

perfectly cut for my body, made out of a decent thickness of material

(I have been known to ride a motorcycle in Bangkok so skimpy clothing

is out!) and didn't need to have six inches cut off their legs (saving

30, 40 baht) – I have yet to meet anyone with a 28 inch waist and 36

inch leg in Thailand! To be fair to the MBK stores, if you spend

400-600 baht on a pair of jeans they will cut them for free.

Pattaya, Pattaya...

A big thumbs down to the low end Pattaya hotels that almost doubled

their prices in December, hope that isn't a sign that the resort is

finally moving a bit upmarket and that, instead, prices will be back

down to their normal, ridiculously cheap, levels in February. It is

quite likely that most of the nightlife action will be shoved out of

Bangkok down to the coast, where it can more or less be contained

within a restricted area. There is still way too much poverty in the

country at large for the government to completely eradicate the farang

scene... a ###### of a lot of new hotels are being built in Pattaya at

the moment and there are still huge swathes of undeveloped land, so

there is yet hope for the current low hotel prices to continue even if

the resort becomes the nightlife centre of the country. Early

December, there were several long established bars that had introduced

shows for the first time – some crackdown, though closing times are

still around two o'clock in the morning. Bar fines in the go-go bars

comparable to Bangkok, BTW, though the girls remain a ###### of a lot

cheaper.

Farang, Farang...

She-who-must-be-obeyed's extended to infinity family, friends and

vague acquaintances keep on phoning her up, demanding a farang is

produced, usually after some gal has finished with hubbie and been

left with a child or two to look after. This is what I am told anyway

but if one of her relatives is anything to go by I wouldn't trust any

of 'em as far as I can throw them – Jai's forty, never worked in a bar

and had a Thai husband for twenty years until he did a runner, leaving

her with three kids to support. So far, she's spent two weeks with an

American who she met via the internet, a week with a German who a

friend introduced her to and has another German prospect about to

arrive. She wants marriage, a guy on his last legs the preferred

option. She picked up a thousand baht a day from the guys (including

sex), which I could go along with BUT she also has a Thai guy on the

side who I have been told to say is her brother! And I am supposed to

introduce my friends to these kind of people?

Trink does a bunk...

Bernard Trink's long running stint as a nightlife columnist came to an

abrupt end when the Bangkok Post gave him his marching orders in

December. Although I always read him, and he was even kind enough to

give me a mention a couple of years ago, he seemed to be merely

marking time over the past year or so. Rumour has it that he was

repeatedly asked to bring a more modern flavour to his column but

refused to move on to new vistas... resulting in a parting of the ways

despite his wide readership. It's not so much Bernard's departure that

annoys but that the Post is becoming increasingly unreadable in

general – and I say this as someone whose morning starts with buying

the Bangkok Post. These days, I flick through it in a few minutes,

rarely digging deeper than the headlines – is it just me, or do I

detect a certain dreariness to the paper, a sort of Asianization in

which the Thai writers are frightened to play with their second

language and a realignment of the paper to cater to the needs of rich

Thais rather than farang? The city desperately needs a weekly paper,

something like the Pattaya Mail... be interesting to see if the latter

paper adopts Trink or if he makes it into the monthly Big Chilli

magazine. Expect him to pop up somewhere as the readership he brings

with him is very large.

from http://www.out-east.com