sonthaya Posted January 4, 2006 Share Posted January 4, 2006 The Priorities, In Order, Of A Poor Thai Girl1) Her children with a Thai father 2) Mother, Father (if known), brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews 3) Possible Thai boyfriend / meng-dah / scrounger on the side 4) The sick buffalo 5) The farang husband (listen carefully ... if your hear them referring to you as 'mun', the speech particle for animals, then you're being suckered). Bottom line: don't let low-class people drag you down. Mix with others of your own, or higher, social class. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Judging from this post, your social class ranks somewhere just below soi dog. cv <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'll say far below a Soi Dog Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 >>>The more you give the more they ask for. Be firm from day one. Ray Ray your a smart man, my hat is off, nam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billd766 Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 (edited) >>>The more you give the more they ask for. Be firm from day one.Ray Ray your a smart man, my hat is off, nam Nam and Ray You are absolutely certain that this happens in 100% of all Farang/Thai marriages? If you are not sure please give me the percentage of those marriages that you do know of personally where this happens. I cannot believe that in this modern day and age that this can be true because of the 10 something marriages that I PERSONALLY know about it does not happen and I can back it up. I try never to generalise as it is a waste of time. In my own case my ex wife in the UK took me for my house (which she sold 5 years later for 250% more than I paid), cars, she maxed out my credit cards whilst telling me she was paying the bills all the time and I was left with what fitted in a Ford Mondeo which fortunately belonged to the company so she could not touch that. In addition I had to pay my ex wife £21,000 a year as alimony as that was the salary I was on at the time we divorced. I went back to the courts last year as I had no job and only a little income and it was reduced to 5 pence per year. My Thai wife has asked for very little, got far more than she asked for, and will get my pensions when I die. My ex wife will get nothing. I am proud, happy and more than willing to support my Thai wifes family and will continue to do so until I am either dead or have no more money which is unlikely as I have a pension for income. Edited January 5, 2006 by billd766 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKK Traveler Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I am American ... I cannot stand the small flat Since when did Americans use the word "flat" instead of "apartment"? Just kidding, probably you've been around the British too long and picking up their lingo. Good luck to you in your quest for finding the right solution to your dilema. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamCave Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 I am married to a Thai woman. We will have been married since April. I paid a bride price, had a ceremony Thai style, and all that. But I am unable to get her family out of my pocket for some reason. I am American and I do understand the importance of family and realize that if you are able to help then you should. I just spent a pill helping my wife sick grandma it the hospital for about 6 weeks getting proper care treatment and diagnosis. I felt good for doing that and dont regret it one bit. I recently told my wife that I want to get a bigger place (I cannot stand the small flat and I can afford pretty much anything I want) at least something with the bedroom seperate. She went into a tirade about me thinking because I have so much money I can do what I want (Being the filthy American that I am I do believe that if you can afford it and want it GET IT) We went back and forth about this for a few days with her main reasons for not wanting it being it is too much to clean, it will take away from money you save, you think you are a big shot. My main reasons where/are I work in the middle east (war zone), I want ot be able to come home to a comfortably sized living area (something bigger than my hooch in the field), I can afford it. After three days of bickering back and foth I finally relented and said never mind I will just stay in the small flat until I save enough for a condo. In this same coversation in wich I relented not a full 60 seconds after I said never mind she brings up the idea to give her father 2000 usd to start a pig farm. Me being the dumb ass I am said OK (because I am thinking if I help them get a business going it will be less dough I will have to shell out in the future). But this is outrageous to think that this woman who I married thinks it is better for me to give her family money than it is for me to be comfortable when I come home. I am very frustrated with the concept that her families well being and happiness is more important than mine. I thought that when you marry you become the most important thing to each other. I get the sneeky suspicion that the whole reason behind her arguments about my larger room was becasue she already told them I would cough op the 2k for the farm and me getting the larger room might spoil her plans for them. Is it normal behavior for a Thai woman to put her family before her spouse? I have a hard time believeing that would be the case if I was I Thai male and not a farang. So any suggestions on how to handle this? I am preparing for a confrontation and I want to make sure I understand all the angles. What really upsets me is that I am certian my well being and confort is second to theirs in her eyes. I cannot be with someone who cannot put my needs and desires first (same as I would hers) and I am sure I said this at least 2 million times before we got married. So what should I do? I dont want a divorce. I just want the same respect any other filthly capitalist scum would want from his significant other and I am not in the business of taking care of health people nor will I be for much longer. you should come first,,,that is Thai culture I live here and also married and a good thai family like many I have seen will tell you to spend the money on you present familysorry to tell you I think you know what I am going to say,,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BKK Traveler Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 You know what...? I'm sorry, but I think it sucks that farangs are expected to support their wife's family. The family extends from 2 to how many????? Come on! Not fair! Give us a break...... I have NEVER expected a man to support me (as a western woman) and I find it highly offensive that western men are expected to support an ENTIRE extended family in this country. What's the story? You guys are being taken for a RIDE - GROW UP!!!!!!!!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I quoted this post because I wonder............ How many of you guys send financial aid to your families back in the western world? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I APPLAUD YOU COS............. I'VE NEVER BEEN GAME ENOUGH TO ASK THAT QUESTION!!!!! ANYONE GAME ENOUGH TO ANSWER IT????? It is that kind of attitude that really makes me very sick. My father left my mother to raise me and six siblings on her own. As soon as I got a job I helped out all I could and continue to this day as do my brothers and sisters as they can. One of my sisters is having a hard time making a go of it and I have helped her out occasionally as well. It's called "LOVE", something maybe you don't have a clue about. I'm really suprised at the number of greedy farangs that think loving someone means you should never give them any money because that would be like trying to buy their love. Such thinking just proves that you have absolutely no idea how to love someone. Loving someone means doing for them whatever you can. Putting them above yourself. Whether it be money, time, encouragement, taking care of them, or whatever. I love my family dearly and gladly part with some of my money if they are in need, but of course I won't just give money if they are not truly in need or are not willing to work if they can, etc. I'm not being taken advantage of, but I'm certainly not stingy with my money. And if I was married and loved my wife, I would treat her family the same as my own. I think your statement "I have NEVER expected a man to support me" says it all and is one of the big reasons why I never have and never will consider marrying a western woman. In the not too distant past, women were in general not financially independent and needed to depend on a man to live a decent life. Then along came industrialization and our modern economies and ideas about women working changed. With the coming of women's financial independence the need for a woman to find a knight in shining armour rapidly dissappeared. Many men need to be the knight in shining armour and save a damsel in distress, and luckily there are many damsels in distress in Thailand that need saving. As a woman, you may find such talk offensive, but that's they way many, if not most, of us men are, although modern western culture tries it's best to oppress such thoughts and teach men and women that they should be totally independent and keep as much of their money for themselves to enjoy. For me, I'll enjoy spending my money on my family, and someday on my wife and her family should I get married. That's what makes me happy. For me, money can't buy happiness, but spending my money, time, or other resources on the ones I love does. As the saying goes, "It's better to give than to receive." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nickerelastic Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 You know what...? I'm sorry, but I think it sucks that farangs are expected to support their wife's family. The family extends from 2 to how many????? Come on! Not fair! Give us a break...... I have NEVER expected a man to support me (as a western woman) and I find it highly offensive that western men are expected to support an ENTIRE extended family in this country. What's the story? You guys are being taken for a RIDE - GROW UP!!!!!!!!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I quoted this post because I wonder............ How many of you guys send financial aid to your families back in the western world? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I APPLAUD YOU COS............. I'VE NEVER BEEN GAME ENOUGH TO ASK THAT QUESTION!!!!! ANYONE GAME ENOUGH TO ANSWER IT????? It is that kind of attitude that really makes me very sick. My father left my mother to raise me and six siblings on her own. As soon as I got a job I helped out all I could and continue to this day as do my brothers and sisters as they can. One of my sisters is having a hard time making a go of it and I have helped her out occasionally as well. It's called "LOVE", something maybe you don't have a clue about. I'm really suprised at the number of greedy farangs that think loving someone means you should never give them any money because that would be like trying to buy their love. Such thinking just proves that you have absolutely no idea how to love someone. Loving someone means doing for them whatever you can. Putting them above yourself. Whether it be money, time, encouragement, taking care of them, or whatever. I love my family dearly and gladly part with some of my money if they are in need, but of course I won't just give money if they are not truly in need or are not willing to work if they can, etc. I'm not being taken advantage of, but I'm certainly not stingy with my money. And if I was married and loved my wife, I would treat her family the same as my own. I think your statement "I have NEVER expected a man to support me" says it all and is one of the big reasons why I never have and never will consider marrying a western woman. In the not too distant past, women were in general not financially independent and needed to depend on a man to live a decent life. Then along came industrialization and our modern economies and ideas about women working changed. With the coming of women's financial independence the need for a woman to find a knight in shining armour rapidly dissappeared. Many men need to be the knight in shining armour and save a damsel in distress, and luckily there are many damsels in distress in Thailand that need saving. As a woman, you may find such talk offensive, but that's they way many, if not most, of us men are, although modern western culture tries it's best to oppress such thoughts and teach men and women that they should be totally independent and keep as much of their money for themselves to enjoy. For me, I'll enjoy spending my money on my family, and someday on my wife and her family should I get married. That's what makes me happy. For me, money can't buy happiness, but spending my money, time, or other resources on the ones I love does. As the saying goes, "It's better to give than to receive." Oh that makes sense Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nam Kao Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 (edited) >>>>Nam and Ray >>>>>You are absolutely certain that this happens in 100% of all Farang/Thai marriages? BillD, i hear you and like your posts. I cant stomach lady farangs either But for me try this one thing. Tell your wife and her family your pensions are stopped and you wont have money to take care them for a spell, then you will see their true colors. Maybe they wont change and will help you, but its worth a quick try and a good sanity check. Just do it for a couple weeks, please try it. And report back. Again this is not an attack on you by any means. Just an idea for you. I challenge all farangs to do this thanks nam Edited January 5, 2006 by Nam Kao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chanchao Posted January 5, 2006 Share Posted January 5, 2006 > I'm not a mod. > However, I always (if not before) loose interest somewhere after the 40'th > post of some thread, having an OP tittle that caught my attention. Why > don't the mods stop those lenghty threads, where every and each possibly > edge of the subject has already been repeated at least three times? Excellent idea. Has the original poster been back to further discuss his dilemma in ernest by the way? Oh no, he's still sucking it all in. On to other things, people. Cheers, Chanchao Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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