Naming And Shaming

[chickenslegs]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

I think I am blushing.

Don't worry, someone will soon be along to slag you off - titv

[nong38]

I have seen this practise in a slightly different form where a Monk turns up with about 20 "henchmen" and then an envelope is thrust forward. It only happened once, when I see them coming now I send the lady to the loo and dont come back till I come and get you. When they approach I stand there and look mean until they realize they are not getting anything, they have not been back.

If you want to give, go down the Wat and make a contribution no problem but to pressure people who are financially challenged into giving more than they afford is IMHO unacceptable.

[aneliane]

Question is : Would anyone give anything if privacy was respected ?

[theblether]

Question is : Would anyone give anything if privacy was respected ?

Good question.......I have heard people say to me that " Buddha is watching ", I think the truly devout and true believers would contribute, some people would bolt. Good question though.

[StreetCowboy]

If I thought the amount of my donation was going to be read out, I might be discouraged from giving my modest and measly token offering. It takes more than a bit of blush to make me take the folding stuff out my sporran, and if I could avoid the embarassment and save a shilling at the same time, I'd drink to that.

If I am correct in my understanding, the monastery was not 'naming and shaming'; it was reading out a list of benefactors. Others could, if they wished, draw their own conclusions about the level of benificience noted, and, if they wished, take the village electoral roll and mark off the names as they came out. The OP's name was probably not read out because the Pu Yai was embarassed at not being able to pronounce farang names... I normally just put my donations in the donation box anonymously anyway...

SC

[meand]

I have had a lot of pressure on this front. It culminated for me when people doing our wedding literally stopped the whole process until we paid more, and then they had the gall to ask my mom for a HUGE sum. I wont even repeat how much. We just had to high tail it out of issan after a while. I mean I'm sorry, we just could not take it. In fairness, I don't think the monks we any worse than any of the other "money collectors" I have run into in life -- the govt, the mob etc -- I feel I have enough wisdom now to know that all these entities are equally ruthless and greedy when it comes to their tactics.

[DrTuner]

Question is : Would anyone give anything if privacy was respected ?

Not as many but still quite a few, I'd guess. I base that on the many charities that allow you to make an anonymous donation and seem to be doing ok. Personally I like to stay incognito when donating, but have to say I liked the idea in Phuket where you can buy a piece of marble to be included in the big Buddha and write your greetings on the back of it.

If being coerced, there would not be a single penny from me. I don't negotiate with extortionists. Luckily, I've never had to here in Thailand, all donations have been of my free will. I've met most of the monks at my wife's home temple and they've never asked for anything.

That said, my name is over the temple door, they insisted on putting it there after the funeral of the wife's grandmother. I feel a bit silly beeing a freeloader there, the actual donation came from another branch of the family.

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

[Beetlejuice]

I think the OPs wife is either talking a load of troddle or just trying to appease her husband.

Some of you people think too much and are putting things into this that simply are not there.

Thais don`t share the same mentalities as us Westerners and these acknowledgements of donations are not announced to cause embarrassment, make anyone lose face or a way of bullying people into giving more money.

For example: if the community knows that a particular villager is of meagre means, than that person is not expected to give very much and the message is that they are grateful for the support no matter how much was given.

Mentioning the amounts given is just a formality, it`s the names what counts and that they actually made an effort to give something is what’s of interest and hearing their names called gives them a pride of being a member of a particular community.

In my case I give whatever I can afford with a good heart and that’s what really matters.

If people feel they have to give not because of a good will gesture but in order to keep up appearances or under pressure, than best to give nothing and avoid any embarrassment and inconvenience.

[jayjayjayjay]

Maybe its a good idea to do this at ones own wedding and make sure there are plenty of rich Thais there. Announce in advance the fact there is going to a ceremonial presentation naming all monetary gifts .... should bring in millions!!!

[David48]

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

theblether, I agree 100%

After you bought to our attention last year villagefarang I read and enjoyed and PM'ed the OP mcab but, unfortunately, no reply.

[David48]

Question is : Would anyone give anything if privacy was respected ?

When I'm giving ... I like my privacy

[JurgenG]

I like this way, it shows your commitment to the community. By having your name on top of the list, it shows you care.

If you want to be accepted in your new neighborhood, it's a good way.

[necronx99]

Storm , teacup and not really isolated to Thai villiages.

Is it much different to a western style Telethon?

Most clubs I know of have donors walls or you get your name engraved in a brick when they build an extension...

[jaiyenyen]

To my mind it's not a lot different to the telethons you get on TV back in the west, although not quite so personal.

There you will see companies presenting large cheques, and peoples names and donations being shown on the TV screen.

I don't let it worry me too much. Whatever I feel disposed to give, I give without detrimement to my family or connections.

[tig28]

I think the OPs wife is either talking a load of troddle or just trying to appease her husband.

Some of you people think too much and are putting things into this that simply are not there.

Thais don`t share the same mentalities as us Westerners and these acknowledgements of donations are not announced to cause embarrassment, make anyone lose face or a way of bullying people into giving more money.

For example: if the community knows that a particular villager is of meagre means, than that person is not expected to give very much and the message is that they are grateful for the support no matter how much was given.

Mentioning the amounts given is just a formality, it`s the names what counts and that they actually made an effort to give something is what’s of interest and hearing their names called gives them a pride of being a member of a particular community.

In my case I give whatever I can afford with a good heart and that’s what really matters.

If people feel they have to give not because of a good will gesture but in order to keep up appearances or under pressure, than best to give nothing and avoid any embarrassment and inconvenience.

+1

[Koratpat]

if it happened me ,i would give a symbolic envelope ,an empty one ......

Terrible practice of pressuring people to donate more than they can afford

or feel embarrassed in front of their neighbours because of them broadcasting the amounts

everyone did or didnt give ........

Only week minded people are moved by such tactics.

[wana]

if it happened me ,i would give a symbolic envelope ,an empty one ......

Terrible practice of pressuring people to donate more than they can afford

or feel embarrassed in front of their neighbours because of them broadcasting the amounts

everyone did or didnt give ........

Only week minded people are moved by such tactics.

only weak minded people would employ such tactics to collect what are supposed to be charitable "donations"

[villagefarang]

Maybe its a good idea to do this at ones own wedding and make sure there are plenty of rich Thais there. Announce in advance the fact there is going to a ceremonial presentation naming all monetary gifts .... should bring in millions!!!

That is exactly how it works at village weddings, except for the millions. They open the envelopes of money and log and read out who gave what. It is a way of keeping score so you know how much to give when you go to their weddings.

[StreetCowboy]

if it happened me ,i would give a symbolic envelope ,an empty one ......

Terrible practice of pressuring people to donate more than they can afford

or feel embarrassed in front of their neighbours because of them broadcasting the amounts

everyone did or didnt give ........

Only week minded people are moved by such tactics.

Every Sunday

[brit1984]

Surely it is worth paying a few baht (and having your name read out by a monk in front of a few village people) to avoid being re-born as a dung beetle

[h90]

Surely it is worth paying a few baht (and having your name read out by a monk in front of a few village people) to avoid being re-born as a dung beetle

Dung beetle doesn't sound soo bad....

[BookMan]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

You often have some good thread reading recommendations Blether.

Is there a bookmark facility on TV? There are more than a few threads I would like to come back and read when I have the time.

[DrTuner]

Maybe its a good idea to do this at ones own wedding and make sure there are plenty of rich Thais there. Announce in advance the fact there is going to a ceremonial presentation naming all monetary gifts .... should bring in millions!!!

Rich people aren't rich because they spent a lot. But getting a few showoff Hi-So's and a bunch of reporters might be a good idea. I'm not entirely sure of the liquidity levels of the soap opera stars, though.

[bendix]

If there was ever a perfect example of a TV thread in which a bunch of working and middle class white men - born and raised and having their worldviews shaped by western traits of what is normal and what isn't - living in and trying to understant environment that is completely alien to them, then here we have it.

No need to question why things are as they are? No need to judge? Just accept.

It makes life so much easier.

[bendix]

Surely it is worth paying a few baht (and having your name read out by a monk in front of a few village people) to avoid being re-born as a dung beetle

Dung beetle doesn't sound soo bad....

A dung beetle would be a step up for many TV members to aspire to, if they're good in this life.

[billd766]

If my wife doesn't want to give much if anything I get sent to the firing line as it doesn't matter that much to me and if it is something I want doing she steps up.

We each blame the other if necessary as it doesn't matter that much. on Saturday but didn't give much as my wife was only told

We went to a wedding on Saturday but didn't give very much as she was only told about it at 9.30 that morning.

[Trembly]

Do what the 'forest monks' (so called because they make a point of staying away from village / town monks for reasons to do with perceived propriety of practice) do and vote with your feet; stop going to that temple.

There are temples that are the way temples were meant to be, that is, a place where monks and any waif, stray, layman or person seeking refuge can live, hang out and generally practice dhamma away from the vicissitudes of the material world. They exist in towns and cities too but their existence is of course contingent on being inhabited by monks of a certain character. Deep in the sticks they often don't bother to have flashy gaudy altars, just huts to sleep in and a common prayer area. The really hardcore forest monks don't even solicit for food donations and just grow their own crops, but that's not to say donations are not accepted!

Then there are the temples that are ran as businesses by professional 'monks'.

Edited May 11, 2012 by Trembly

[theblether]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

You often have some good thread reading recommendations Blether.

Is there a bookmark facility on TV? There are more than a few threads I would like to come back and read when I have the time.

I'll bring the latest incarnation of the best ever threads up to the top of general topics later today.......there are loads of excellent ( and highly varied ) reads in there.

[theblether]

If there was ever a perfect example of a TV thread in which a bunch of working and middle class white men - born and raised and having their worldviews shaped by western traits of what is normal and what isn't - living in and trying to understant environment that is completely alien to them, then here we have it.

No need to question why things are as they are? No need to judge? Just accept.

It makes life so much easier.

Relax bendix, this thread is an example of people with an inquiring mind trying to learn more about Thailand and Thai culture by asking other members for their views and experiences. Said members then have the opportunity to take or leave other people's opinions.

Incidentally, I KNOW you are coming back in your next life as a care worker in an OAP's home, that'll teach you for annoying all of our esteemed pensioner friends here.

Just saying

[kevjohn]

Re quote #58

If you do that ,then you will create a problem with TV as, everyone will be reading your topics and not looking at any others.

Edited May 11, 2012 by kevjohn