Thai Parents Against Foreigner Marriage

[Jaffy]

Hello All,

I am a HK Chinese girl that have a Thai mixed Chinese boyfriend for 2 years. Now, we are talking about marriage. When my boyfriend told his parents, they are stongly against our marriage. The reason is they do not want their son to marry a foreigner.

Is this true that Thai parents against foreigners? If yes, any experience? What things I can do? If not, is it his excuse to marry me? Any comment.

Thanks. Mandy

If he is a real "man" then he would not listen to his parents and would stand on his own two feet, take responsibility for his decision and destiny - though i know this is rare in Thailand its about time people started to change.

U should speak to his parents and find out - maybe he is telling you this as he doesnt want to marry and wants to stay at home with his mummy..

Ok mark, seeing as you asked..

The part I find offensive is not that you or the lad in question has an opinion but the fact that

you insult mandy's b/f,

insult his family,

& have a pop at thai people in general !

All this based upon 2 sentences submitted by mandy.

Perhaps family is not important to you but it forms the fabric of everyday life in Thailand - who are you to judge this or condemn it as wrong????

[LaoPo]

Hi Everybody,

I think my relationship is over. I took sick leave yesterday and no mood to eat and work.

After he went back to his parents last Sunday, he told me that his parents strongly dislike him to marry me and ask him to leave me.

I asked him what things he planned to do. he said he was confused. I said can we marry in Bangkok or HK without informing his parents. He said he did not want to betray his parents.

I said can we wait to marry until his parents die, may be 10 or 15 years? He said he was afraid his parents would bring some Thai girls to him within these years.

I said, well, I will not call you from today onwards. I will wait for your call. Pls. call me if you want to save this relationship.

Since I bought the air ticket to come at the end of this month to see him, I intended to go to Bangkok anyway. I said if I did not receive your call before my coming, I will not see you in Bangkok.

May be this is the end of our conversation. I think I got a broken heart already. Any suggestions/comment.

Thanks. Mandy

Well, Mandy, you are probably right. If he can't see past his parents wishes then it probably is over. Also, the fact is that he comes from a closed-minded family and would have alot of those similar values. It is better to move on and find someone who appreciates you for you.

When my husband and I first met he asked his 90 year old grandfather what he thought about marrying a farang and this man (who had never met a farang in his life) said: "Doesn't matter whats on the outside. It's what's on the inside that counts".

Keep looking, and don't lose heart. Someone will appreciate you for the person you are. Just not this guy!

Mandy, please allow me to make some comments/questions:

1. is it correct you met his parents just 1 time?

2. your bf seems NOT to be the most strong man (in mind) to 'fight' his parents over the decision about getting married.

3. In my opinion it's odd that they would not allow their son to marry a Chinese girl since they are Thai/Chinese or it must be the difference in 'class' and money (sorry, I'm not offending you!) sothat they believe you are not of the same standard -in their opinion-.

4. Did you ever consider to pack a suitcase full of 'guts' and go to their home and ask for a meeting face-to-face? and ask them for the reasons why they do not accept this proposed marriage?

5. You are obviously (still) very much in love with this guy, but please ask yourself whether this is true love (from your side) and not an addiction...(I faced this in my pastlife...I thought it was love, but it was an addiction and it took me a long time to face the truth).

6. Are you sure he was faithfull to you when you were in HK (ALL THE TIME?)...since he told you he was 'afraid' his parents would bring in some Thaigirls.....?

Take care of yourself; you are unique.....and 1 day you will find the right guy.

LaoPo

[markuk]

Hello All,

I am a HK Chinese girl that have a Thai mixed Chinese boyfriend for 2 years. Now, we are talking about marriage. When my boyfriend told his parents, they are stongly against our marriage. The reason is they do not want their son to marry a foreigner.

Is this true that Thai parents against foreigners? If yes, any experience? What things I can do? If not, is it his excuse to marry me? Any comment.

Thanks. Mandy

If he is a real "man" then he would not listen to his parents and would stand on his own two feet, take responsibility for his decision and destiny - though i know this is rare in Thailand its about time people started to change.

U should speak to his parents and find out - maybe he is telling you this as he doesnt want to marry and wants to stay at home with his mummy..

Ok mark, seeing as you asked..

The part I find offensive is not that you or the lad in question has an opinion but the fact that

you insult mandy's b/f,

insult his family,

& have a pop at thai people in general !

All this based upon 2 sentences submitted by mandy.

Perhaps family is not important to you but it forms the fabric of everyday life in Thailand - who are you to judge this or condemn it as wrong????

Ok - was not meant to be a dig at Thai people in general however i stand by my own opinion that people need to stand on their own two feet!

Edited January 11, 2006 by markuk

[Mandych]

Hello Everybody,

My boyfriend called me again yesterday night. He proposed may be we put marraige aside first because he was not comfortable at this moment. He suggested that we should see his parents first at the end of this month. (because I come to Bangkok at the end of this month) I proposed I will talk to their parents face to face, understand and be patient to them. I also suggested I should see his parents often, once a month. (because I come to Bangkok once a month)

Hope my relationship will be better after meeting his parents.

By the way, especially thanks Steveromagnino, Scott, Plecostomus, Jaffy and LaoPo. I consider a lot from your opinion.

Thanks. Mandy

[Jaffy]

Hi Mandy,

That's great news!!!

Congratulations!

I'm so glad that your b/f is taking the lead in bringing you & his family together & I wish the both of you much happiness for the future.

Ok - was not meant to be a dig at Thai people in general however i stand by my own opinion that people need to stand on their own two feet!

Hey Mark,

Accepted and my apologies for the name calling - very childish on my part!

I guess the reason I got upset was that I love Thailand very much and of course am frustrated at the way some things are. However, I also realise that I am a guest when in Thailand and simply because i choose to spend my time & money in Thailand does not give me the right to condemn the practices I don't agree with.

But you are quite right, everyone has a right to be heard and you seem to be a decent enough bloke!

[LaoPo]

Hello Everybody,

My boyfriend called me again yesterday night. He proposed may be we put marraige aside first because he was not comfortable at this moment. He suggested that we should see his parents first at the end of this month. (because I come to Bangkok at the end of this month) I proposed I will talk to their parents face to face, understand and be patient to them. I also suggested I should see his parents often, once a month. (because I come to Bangkok once a month)

Hope my relationship will be better after meeting his parents.

By the way, especially thanks Steveromagnino, Scott, Plecostomus, Jaffy and LaoPo. I consider a lot from your opinion.

Thanks. Mandy

Good news Mandy!

It was a good first step of him to suggest to see his parents and a very good one from your part to talk to them. face-to-face.

Dress like a Princess when you see them and award them a nice present (maybe a Thai Lady on this forum good give a good suggestion...????)

Good luck and....fight for your happiness and love.

LaoPo