Spouses' Brother Released From Prison Soon--Need Ideas

[edensedge]

My spouses' brother will be released from a prison near Sukhothai later this year. He served 7 years for his involvement with Ya Ba. I've supported his getting some education while incarcerated. He's 29 now. I know many folks who leave prison return to old friends and behaviors. My wife and I are trying to create more hopeful solutions. He seems motivated and has been considered a good prisoner. His extended family supports him. I'm trying to come up with resources, organizations, university programs, etc. in the North that can assist him. Any ideas would be most welcome. Thank you very kindly.

[brit1984]

I recommend cricket

[eyecatcher]

why dont you ask this question on a prison forum such as http://www.prisontalk.com/

I am sure you will get much better advice from families and ex prisoners than asking the expat community here.

I for one dont think this topic is very relevant on this forum

[harrry]

why dont you ask this question on a prison forum such as http://www.prisontalk.com/

I am sure you will get much better advice from families and ex prisoners than asking the expat community here.

I for one dont think this topic is very relevant on this forum

but this forum is not about what is relevant to you.

[edensedge]

My apologies if my topic is inapproriate for this forum. Peace.

[zippydedodah]

well, i would suggest that one of the first things is to ask HIM what he wants to do with his life. 7 yrs is a chunk out of someones life and his answers will give you an indication of how much thought he has put into life after prison.

there are certain similarities between this situation and rehabilitating and resocializing drug addicts (something i did professionally in USA). Resources definitely come into play, and thailand seems to be woefully lacking in many of these departments.... but more than anything, familial support (not just financially, but real caring) can be the real deciding factor.

He needs to become "engaged", quickly, or risk factors will start cropping up.

Good luck and good on you (and your wife) for taking on this challenge

[eyecatcher]

why dont you ask this question on a prison forum such as http://www.prisontalk.com/

I am sure you will get much better advice from families and ex prisoners than asking the expat community here.

I for one dont think this topic is very relevant on this forum

but this forum is not about what is relevant to you.

Well excuse me Harry, but how many times have we all read "not chiang mai related" ? So where is the link to Chiang mai in the OP question?

This forum is about peoples opinions, and I will make my suggestion; which was about a prison forum community... which was a dam_n site more useful than your post.

[harrry]

THe decision on whether or not something is CM related is made by a moderator not by a member. It may be the person is located in CM and will be looking for resources there.

If you consider it is not why not report it and let a moderator decide.

[edensedge]

Yes, I should have been clearer. He will come home to Sukhothai initially, but that is where he became involved with his poor choices. It seems better to him and to us that he look to Chaing Mai rather than to Bangkok or other areas for his beginning. One thought I had was to support him in going to a vocational school there. I've searched for schools in Chiang Mai on the internet, but have had little success. I know that some schools offer both training and internships with companies that many times later hire folks. Thank you for the thoughts on him engaging well first. This supports our intentions for having home in Sukhothai first, but we also need a plan for him to become independent.

[edwinclapham]

Yes, I should have been clearer. He will come home to Sukhothai initially, but that is where he became involved with his poor choices. It seems better to him and to us that he look to Chaing Mai rather than to Bangkok or other areas for his beginning. One thought I had was to support him in going to a vocational school there. I've searched for schools in Chiang Mai on the internet, but have had little success. I know that some schools offer both training and internships with companies that many times later hire folks. Thank you for the thoughts on him engaging well first. This supports our intentions for having home in Sukhothai first, but we also need a plan for him to become independent.

I am unable to offer advice, but I just wanted to say how fortunate you all are having each other for support and I am sure whichever direction you go, it will be a success. You and your wife sound top people!

I sincerely hope that your brother in law finds his niche in this world.

Eddie

[brit1984]

This forum is appropriate as the OP mentioned being in "the North" so I assume he would like to discuss some local ideas. The ex-con website may also be of interest and is worth discussing.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[evadgib]

Prioity 1 must surely be to set parameters so that you or your immediate family aren't seen as a soft option re DWP/Jobcentre.

[eyecatcher]

THe decision on whether or not something is CM related is made by a moderator not by a member. It may be the person is located in CM and will be looking for resources there.

If you consider it is not why not report it and let a moderator decide.

stop digging a big hole around yourself....I made no decision did I?....

anyway, well done for contributing 2 very informative posts to help the OP

[edwinclapham]

This forum is appropriate as the OP mentioned being in "the North" so I assume he would like to discuss some local ideas. The ex-con website may also be of interest and is worth discussing.

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

God, some people would fight with their grandmother's ghost! (Not you Brit).. this thread has the makings of some very useful information and it just takes a few idiots to soil it!

[Semper]

I recommend cricket

[Tywais]

Let's stop the argumentative nonsense and get back on topic to assist the member. It's responses like previous ones that make new members hesitant to post or to continue.

[edensedge]

Oh, thank you. This is a spirited forum! One other idea we have is to direct him to a particular Temple or Monk in Chiang Mai. He didn't engage in the rite of passage of living at a Temple when younger, and I know many turn to monks for the guidance professionals provide in the West. Are your wives, friends, or significant others aware of such a Temple or Monk there? We would go to Chiang Mai to explore all this personally but I'm currently in a contract in Afghanistan. We will be there in late August, and will follow up with any ideas. Thank you so much. By the way, the cricket idea I take as a reminder to avoid getting too serious. Thanks.

[hellodolly]

Yes, I should have been clearer. He will come home to Sukhothai initially, but that is where he became involved with his poor choices. It seems better to him and to us that he look to Chaing Mai rather than to Bangkok or other areas for his beginning. One thought I had was to support him in going to a vocational school there. I've searched for schools in Chiang Mai on the internet, but have had little success. I know that some schools offer both training and internships with companies that many times later hire folks. Thank you for the thoughts on him engaging well first. This supports our intentions for having home in Sukhothai first, but we also need a plan for him to become independent.

First off I whole heartedly support zippydedodeh. I live in Chiang Mai and I know there are group willing to help him stay away from his old life style. If you wish you may P M me. As for education I don't know a lot about it but My wife's grandson is here studying for Electronics Engineer. I know her son is taking the course in Bangkok for 80,000 baht a year (boy do I know it) But it would seem her grandson got some money through one of the king's programs.

Age might have some thing to do with it her grandson is 19 and her son is 30 with a wife and little girl. I don't kknow a lot about it. I also agree with getting on the forum about prisoners after release.

zippydedodah

[brit1984]

Oh, thank you. This is a spirited forum! One other idea we have is to direct him to a particular Temple or Monk in Chiang Mai. He didn't engage in the rite of passage of living at a Temple when younger, and I know many turn to monks for the guidance professionals provide in the West. Are your wives, friends, or significant others aware of such a Temple or Monk there? We would go to Chiang Mai to explore all this personally but I'm currently in a contract in Afghanistan. We will be there in late August, and will follow up with any ideas. Thank you so much. By the way, the cricket idea I take as a reminder to avoid getting too serious. Thanks.

I think cricket would certainly help but as cricket in Thailand is still sadly in its infancy, you can take it as a metaphor for any similar positive non-criminal activity where he can learn valuable like skills among nice people (and ideally eat cucumber sandwiches) and, of course, have fun (after a few years in prison I assume he is rather bored).

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

[LucidLucifer]

(after a few years in prison I assume he is rather bored).

If not, cricket can rectify that.....

[msg362]

My goodness, the OP is trying to get ideas. Many posters are really trying to help ,but then there are those who think it's just a laugh. This is a man's future we are talking about, it will be difficult for him and all the support and help he can get is surely valuable. Ya Ba dealers can change their attitudes and life style, they can reform . I'm sorry I can't offer any concrete suggestions, but i wish the OP and his BIL well

[edensedge]

Evadgib and Loaded, you offer good cautions. Thanks. Evadgib, you mentioned "DWP/Jobcentre". Can you say more please. Also, I am posting on the prison forum site, we'd prefer he break from all criminal contact, as does he---cucumber sandwiches, nice people only please. Not related to expatmakmak, sorry to hear you are still burning from that association, Pillion. My brother in law is a gifted young man, so any further information for schools would be a big help as well. He nevr did anything henious, small time kids stuff, until he crossed the police that got him into it to begin with.... I've never posted anything here, but read regularly. I am grateful.

[philw]

To the OP i offer your brother in law a job in Chiangmai, provided he can complete the application form, do the work and my office girls think he is OK.

my staff decision, not mine, but his background is irrelevant to us.

PM me.

phil

Edited June 13, 2012 by Maestro
Deleted part of reply that was reply to deleted post.

[oggie911]

Oh, thank you. This is a spirited forum! One other idea we have is to direct him to a particular Temple or Monk in Chiang Mai. He didn't engage in the rite of passage of living at a Temple when younger, and I know many turn to monks for the guidance professionals provide in the West. Are your wives, friends, or significant others aware of such a Temple or Monk there? We would go to Chiang Mai to explore all this personally but I'm currently in a contract in Afghanistan. We will be there in late August, and will follow up with any ideas. Thank you so much. By the way, the cricket idea I take as a reminder to avoid getting too serious. Thanks.

I think cricket would certainly help but as cricket in Thailand is still sadly in its infancy, you can take it as a metaphor for any similar positive non-criminal activity where he can learn valuable like skills among nice people (and ideally eat cucumber sandwiches) and, of course, have fun (after a few years in prison I assume he is rather bored).

Sent from iPhone; please forgive any typos or violations of forum rules

cricket is boring with in a month he would be back to his old tricks,try baseball its quicker or try to make things or get him a job in a factory if he is idle he will go back to what he knows it happened my thai friend mabey your wife thinks you can help but mabey he has his own ideas to what he want to do,but dont let your wife give him money or let him stay in your home,ok can feed him pay rent but you pay it.

[edwinclapham]

To the OP i offer your brother in law a job in Chiangmai, provided he can complete the application form, do the work and my office girls think he is OK.

my staff decision, not mine, but his background is irrelevant to us.

PM me.

phil

[CMNightRider]

I would find out what your spouses brother wants to do with his life, and see if he has the aptitude to attain that goal before investing your money, time, and energy into helping him. If he doesn't know what he wants to be after sitting inside a prison cell for seven years, then I would distance myself from him. That would be a sure sign he will either return to using or selling methamphetamine (Ya Ba) or both. Generally speaking anyone who uses methamphetamine is someone to avoid at all costs, although there are a small percentage that will turn their lives around. Good luck.

[62strat]

This is a hard one. What kind of character is the brother. Will he see you as a easy source of money/support and feel entitled by family (his sisiter) to help himself to whatever he is able to get ?. If he is an older brother will the wife feel bound to give more weight to his needs/desires than yours ?

I believe you some how have to put this in Thai hands...perhaps he is not ready for the monk hood, or attending school...maybe vocational training would help....Strangely I expect you will get resentment for your efforts, bite hard the hand that feeds you seems all to common.

A Thai mentor of some kind would be best...perhaps your wife can help find a group or work enviorment that could help him.

I really hope you kind heartedness in seeking a good life for an extended Thai troubled family member dosen't bring your own house down...Good Luck with this.....

[62strat]

Since he got a rather lengthy term I would imagine he was not a small player in the Yaba trade. In prison talk of Falang in the family with money must be common along with some great ideas on how to exploit that. In Chiang Mai it is very likely he will be able to connect with his past as the yaba trail to Sukothai often goes through our fair city.Not intending to scare you off from social enginering just want you to think through what you may be opening yourself to deal with in the very near future...

[zippydedodah]

WE don't know why he got 7 yrs...maybe his family does not even know. I think it is safe to say that thai justice is often not administered fairly or evenly. Hell, in USA crack users get more prison time than murderers!

anyways...more to the point, was it his first offense? If so, the chances that he might be able to "reform" are much higher. This could easily turn into a moral high ground debate, or bleeding heart liberals vs...etc etc...

The OP asked for support groups.. not judgement. He did ask for ideas, but i think he mean for rehab, not revenge, not judgement.

[edensedge]

Thanks to everyone. My wife and I believe in merit-making and in the power of tough love in a family, and we are very greatful for the concrete ideas and offers given to us. We appreciate the wise words of caution, too. From this Forum's discussion, we have made a good shift from thinking too much for her brother to simply developing options for him to consider while preparing our hearts for disappointment so we can be clear with him about our limits. We have two children, ages 6 and 11, who are paying close attention. At the very least, they will have some valuable lessons from all this. I will continue to check this thread, so if anyone has any further ideas or resources we remain open. Peace. Mark and Rungnapa