Do You Ask About Your Wife’S/Girlfriend'S Past Relationships And What She Done Before You Met?

[theblether]

It's rank stupidity to impose your sexual views on anyone.

It's delusional, and to make it even worse, people boast about being self deluded.

I've learned, ( note, learned ) that it's best, to treat any relationship I have on its own merits and not drag the chains of previous relationships with me.

Some people can't do that, up to them. I honestly believe that your partners previous sexual history is private, and a matter for them as they discovered themselves, just as I did, just as we all did???

Interrogating your partner about their sexual history is either a sign of your perversion or sexual insecurities, or a combination of both. Note I used the word interrogate. Women will tell you things if left alone, normally I find when they tell you it-s because they trust you, and they are sharing their worries and concerns with you.

When that happens to me I feel priveleged that I'm trusted.

The OP didn't refer specifically to sexual history alone, he asked how much did you know about your partners history, I've already given my answer to that. I think it's great knowing about where they grew up, which school they went to etc Naturally about their families and pals too.

Getting to know someone is great fun, as the old song goes. 'Getting to know you, getting to know all about you'.

Great stuff, I don't need to know about your exes predilictions though, I have enough of my own thanks.

[kerryk]

Consider, for a moment, the sheer, unbridled idiocy of what you've just written. Allow me to paraphrase in my summary; if the Thai girl is/was even remotely pretty, then she has been/was probably shagged by more men than you could imagine.

There are millions of respectable Thai women who wouldn't dream of shagging around - it's just that they wouldn't hang around men like you long enough to discuss their past.

Let me put it the other way, if I were even remotely handsome I would have shagged every girl in sight. Why should I believe it not to be true the other way round.

HS, I don't think you have any clue about respectable Thai ladies or what they get up to when out of sight of their peers.

One of us surely is a loser, but I wouldn't be so certain that person is me.

Why do you think because someone is good looking male or female they would shag everyone in sight ?

A long time ago I was good looking when I was in college. I shagged everyone in sight. Just thought I would let you know. Now I would if I could; the mind is willing but the body lags behind a bit. So I am more choosy. Now it's three at a time instead of three in sequence. So the numbers are probably the same but the positioning different.

[Headgame]

This thread is a great example of how the majority of men are insecure about themselves and their partners past sexual history - whatever it is.

You're with a lady because you love her or at the least have some sort of positive connection.

My lady and i have shared the natural curiosity about each others past, and I mean all aspects of our past. Of course, we want to know, it's normal.

There has been full disclosure over time. My lady knows by my actions that i am non-judgmental because everyone has a past made up of the good, the bad and the ugly. I never throw her past back at her and she reciprocates.

What matters is today. Can't do anything about the past and can't know the future.

Why should a partner's past sexual history get everyone so f'ed up?

Edited June 16, 2012 by Headgame

[kerryk]

It's also funny that you would think most people like swinging just because you do.

I don't, as far as group sessions go, but very few people actually adhere to the monogamy myth for long.

And I think they would if it bothered overcoming their cultural/religous programming. . .

I loved the group stuff. Too bad it's not big in Thailand. I tried it with all my wives. None of them liked it as much as me although they all tried it.

[kerryk]

This thread is a great example of how the majority of men are insecure about themselves and their partners past sexual history - whatever it is.

You're with a lady because you love her or at the least have some sort of positive connection.

My lady and i have shared the natural curiosity about each others past, and I mean all aspects of our past. Of course, we want to know, it's normal.

There has been full disclosure over time. My lady knows by my actions that i am non-judgmental because everyone has a past made up of the good, the bad and the ugly. I never throw her past back at her and she reciprocates.

What matters is today. Can't do anything about the past and can't know the future.

Why should a partner's past sexual history get everyone so f'ed up?

I used to live with a go go dancer. She was a great dancer. I would take my friends to her club to watch her dance. It was cool most of the time except when she was angry with me for some reason. When she was angry and I was in her club with my friends she would do things on stage to embarrass me. I tried not to let it show but in the end she knew how to push my buttons.

[kerryk]

It's also funny that you would think most people like swinging just because you do.

I don't, as far as group sessions go, but very few people actually adhere to the monogamy myth for long.

And I think they would if it bothered overcoming their cultural/religous programming. . .

I've never fancied letting other men shag my partner. I don't have any religious beliefs as such but as far as monogamy goes, well I'd have to say that the way our reproductive systems work, it's probably natural for a man to have multiple partners and I'd agree that it is cultural programming that has put a stop to this to a certain extent. It could also be natural for women to play around as presumably the strongest seed would impregnate her and ensure that evolution works as it should.

However, rightly or wrongly I like to believe that we are a little more evolved than chimpanzees and whilst I have played away from home in the past, with previous partners, I just don't feel like doing that any more. Prostitutes don't turn me on, swingers don't appeal to me and having an affair would involve too much emotional commitment for me. I'm probably just too lazy when it comes down to it but my girlfriend's feelings come into it as well. You could say with some justification that I don't know what I'm talking about if I've never tried it but I could say the same to anybody that has never enjoyed a loving monogamous relationship.

There have been studies done about this in animals. It had to do with sperm count of the second animal. I seem to remember people too. Something about different kinds of sperm. One kind is there to kill any other sperm or act as a blockade or something like that. I can only speak from my own experience and say the sex has always been great when I was involved with a my wife cheating.

[kerryk]

250 baht actually

many of them will polish your gun for free ,not all thai women have to be "paid " for sex

does everyone here sleep only with bargirls ?

I certainly can't speak for anyone else but for me variety is the spice of life. I don't eat the same food every day. I don't wear the same clothes every day. I don't read the same book over and over. So, "not only bargirls" but this is Thailand and that is part of the mix.

[geriatrickid]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

[samsiam]

My company has a large office in the centre of bkk and there are many many beautiful women in the 24-35 range

All respectable girls making 40,000+ a month

Its not particulary difficult to have sex with of them

(I know everyone is going to say they must be sluts or bargirls but theyre not,most are bi-lingual or even tri-lingual secretarys ,accountants and p.a's )

More or less the same in the west ,if you are young or good lucking thats a big help ,spend some time and attention on them ,

take em out for a drink or to a movie or disco ,theres a very good chance they will give it up later on

discretion is key of course ,so if you only want them for sex its important to make this clear at the start so she knows she can be your "GIK" but thats as

far as its ever going to go

avoid doing couple stuff like meals in flashy restaurants ,walking aroung holding hands ,shoping and going to romantic places together (she WILL get the wrong idea if you do this stuff with her )

just meet ,have a lot of sex ,have a shower and go

in this way you can shag as many as you want and everyone is happy with no false expectations

Where is this office exactly ??......I need an accountant.

I used to live with a go go dancer. She was a great dancer. I would take my friends to her club to watch her dance. It was cool most of the time except when she was angry with me for some reason. When she was angry and I was in her club with my friends she would do things on stage to embarrass me. I tried not to let it show but in the end she knew how to push my buttons.

The embarrassing stuff used to turn on the friends though right ??

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

Maybe she did not like you ??

[geriatrickid]

Maybe she did not like you ??

Maybe. I have an ex in Patong that hates me.

Personally, I thought the sight of my growing gut and man boobs topped off with pasty white flesh would arouse even the most frigid. (At least that's what folks at Patong beach must think since they walk around with everything hanging out.)

[kerryk]

No SamSiam what she did on stage was just too awful. My friends usually got up and left. The club manager eventually fired her.

[IMA_FARANG]

I know hers, she know mine - i never ask for details, as the problem with questions, is that most of the time, you get answers

And the answers will always be the answers they think you want to hear.

Lying to save face and avoid confrontation is the Thai way.

As a person with a Thai wife, Thai friends, trying to integrate, yadda, yadda, you should already know this.

Sometimes.

But in my particulat case both she and I have a "previous history:

I was previously married and have had a couple of Thai female "relationships" besides...she actually met one of them before we got together.

She was previously married, and has 3 children by that marriage that now live with us. All 3 are aldults and grown up now.

So for both of us....the results of our two "previous histories" are readily visable .

I know things about her even her children don't, and she knows things about me I haven't even told my family in the U.S.

But we have been together for 30 years (I'm 66, she's 64).

In those 30 years that gives a lot of private time together....so secrets are hard to keep.

I guess that;s what you call "life".

[jaideeguy]

It seems that most Asians keep their past to themselves and reveal details slowly or accidentally when caught. It's part of their culture and our culture is much more open minded and the past is the past.

A recent event, where the wife caught me in an affair and things came to a head and we almost separated, but we both wanted to save the relationship and we both agreed to lay all the cards on the table and it was not a shock to me that she did have quite a bit more 'history' than she had kept to herself for 10 yrs. BTW....she never worked in a bar, but was a normal shop girl in BKK in her 20's and had a normal single girl's sex life and I accepted that easily, especially when I had 10X more history than her.

Of course I forgave her and the fact that we now have no secrets has strengthened our relationship and I no longer have to go out to play.

When the food is good at home, then why go to a restaurant!!!

[TommoPhysicist]

Of course I forgave her ...........

You forgave her for having sex with men before she met you ????????

[GreenSnapper]

My company has a large office in the centre of bkk and there are many many beautiful women in the 24-35 range

All respectable girls making 40,000+ a month

Its not particulary difficult to have sex with of them

(I know everyone is going to say they must be sluts or bargirls but theyre not,most are bi-lingual or even tri-lingual secretarys ,accountants and p.a's )

More or less the same in the west ,if you are young or good lucking thats a big help ,spend some time and attention on them ,

take em out for a drink or to a movie or disco ,theres a very good chance they will give it up later on

discretion is key of course ,so if you only want them for sex its important to make this clear at the start so she knows she can be your "GIK" but thats as

far as its ever going to go

avoid doing couple stuff like meals in flashy restaurants ,walking aroung holding hands ,shoping and going to romantic places together (she WILL get the wrong idea if you do this stuff with her )

just meet ,have a lot of sex ,have a shower and go

in this way you can shag as many as you want and everyone is happy with no false expectations

That describes the situation pretty well. I'm always amused how the white knights here try deny it. Lack of experience, I assume.

I never ask my girls about their past. After a while, they are eager to talk about it by themselves. Unless you are insecure, pushy. Then they will shut up.

Women are also eager to talk about the past (or present) of their girl friends. Women love gossip. Just be a good listener, but don't give moralistic comments. "I don't care" is the right attitude.

[garrya]

Of course I forgave her ...........

You forgave her for having sex with men before she met you ????????

Generous.

[YipYipYa123]

Of course I forgave her ...........

You forgave her for having sex with men before she met you ????????

Generous.

i like his style!

[inthepink]

250 baht actually

many of them will polish your gun for free ,not all thai women have to be "paid " for sex

does everyone here sleep only with bargirls ?

I have no idea what others do.

As for me, I know how much a ladies handbag costs in the local shopping mall but that doesn't mean I've ever bought one. Best not to make assumptions about people based on a single post.

[Beetlejuice]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[samsiam]

Of course I forgave her ...........

You forgave her for having sex with men before she met you ????????

The church does this kind of thing also.

[YipYipYa123]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

this raises of the whole question of double standards again

most men will happily empty bucketloads of cum into any women available to them

3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc are all encouraged by horny men

but many expect their women(the ones theyde consider marrying anyway ) to have not have done all this before with dozens of partners or

at least the thought of it gets to them

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

unfortunately thats just the way it is and women will probably always lie about their sexual history and how many guns they have polished for

the fear of being branded in a negative way becaause of it

[TommoPhysicist]

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

I have no problem with a girls past, but question your numbers.

Younger Hmmmmmm, most of the girls working p4p start at age 15 and do at least 1 guy a day (if reasonably pretty).

Lets be kind and say 300 a year ..... so by 25 would have had approx 3,000 guys. How much younger did you have in mind?

This was based on the fairly gentle BG trade, you would have to raise the daily number to 3-5 guys a day if the lady was working in the harder core, massage, go-go, Thai brothel, soapys.

Edited June 16, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[ozzieovaseas]

I have told previous GF's that no matter what the situation is, theres be no lies.

But to make that stick you have to be able hear the truth without judgement and then gain the trust that you will not freak out at every admission, or go ballistic should an "opportunity" may arise.

Basically it means i promise not to mess with their food bowl, and so far i have not had to compromise my own values, and am confident that the truth has been told on all occasions.

This arrangement may be a little warped, but i figure they will do as they will, no matter if you know it or not, so in that regard its better to know the truth and be able to make an informed decision on the consequences afterwards, rather than being taken for a fool, being lied to, and not knowing any better.

IMO, it helps if you give up this "ownership" mentality of your partner, of which thinking we are well accustomed to in the west. Things seem to become a lot clearer here once you realise the futility in that.

Truth is, they have had to survive before we came on the scene and will have to do the same after we have gone.And im sure it will be a lot tougher road for them as we farang are afforded in our relatively comfortable lives in the west.

As we all know, there has never been any great welfare sytems in place here, and what some people have had to do to survive is pretty sad.

In hearing stories about what my GFs mother and family went though, (re Vietnam war period) and how JUST surviving was a struggle for everyone, my previous egotistical ideas about how things SHOULD be seem pretty dang insignificant.

Having said that, there is also this insipid greed factor, and I think sometimes there can be many shades of grey between what we identify as what makes for a "normal" Thai GF and a naughty one.

Definately it is the all consuming greed that makes a person cross over to the darker side of themselves, and you can always see it in a true bargirl...they cannot possibly resist the big money, consumerism mentality, and of course this ridiculous "face" thing being all they have in regards to their own worth.

My advice to the OP...

If you can't handle the truth, don't ask for it!

Edited June 16, 2012 by ozzieovaseas

[YipYipYa123]

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

I have no problem with a girls past, but question your numbers.

Younger Hmmmmmm, most of the girls working p4p start at age 15 and do at least 1 guy a day (if reasonably pretty).

Lets be kind and say 300 a year ..... so by 25 would have had approx 3,000 guys. How much younger did you have in mind?

This was based on the fairly gentle BG trade, you would have to raise the daily number to 3-5 guys a day if the lady was working in the harder core, massage, go-go, Thai brothel, soapys.

not everyone wants to marry a girl from the sex industry though........

like i said ,most men will happily bang the ass off a hooker ........but that doesnt mean they will marry her

99% of thai women are not prostitutes from age 15+ like you imagine

if you dont understand what i said .......its probably a waste of time saying it again

[Beetlejuice]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

this raises of the whole question of double standards again

most men will happily empty bucketloads of cum into any women available to them

3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc are all encouraged by horny men

but many expect their women(the ones theyde consider marrying anyway ) to have not have done all this before with dozens of partners or

at least the thought of it gets to them

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

unfortunately thats just the way it is and women will probably always lie about their sexual history and how many guns they have polished for

the fear of being branded in a negative way becaause of it

Bucketloads of cum, 3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc?

Do you realise how ridiculous this sounds?

You’re boasting again or have been watching too many porn movies. It can cause hair growth on the palm of your hands and make you go blind, you know.

Why does a woman`s past always have to be given sexual overtones? This is purely in your mind, not mine.

You’re not getting my point. It is totally irrelevant what the woman done in the past, but what does matter is that a true soul mate should never be ashamed to share they’re past experiences with their partners, otherwise it means the spouse is putting restrictions into the closeness of the relationship with their partner.

I would feel much more comfortable with the knowledge of knowing the true character of my wife, rather than living a make believe with someone I think I know, but don`t really know 100%.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[kerryk]

I have told previous GF's that no matter what the situation is, theres be no lies.

But to make that stick you have to be able hear the truth without judgement and then gain the trust that you will not freak out at every admission, or go ballistic should an "opportunity" may arise.

Basically it means i promise not to mess with their food bowl, and so far i have not had to compromise my own values, and am confident that the truth has been told on all occasions.

This arrangement may be a little warped, but i figure they will do as they will, no matter if you know it or not, so in that regard its better to know the truth and be able to make an informed decision on the consequences afterwards, rather than being taken for a fool, being lied to, and not knowing any better.

IMO, it helps if you give up this "ownership" mentality of your partner, of which thinking we are well accustomed to in the west. Things seem to become a lot clearer here once you realise the futility in that.

Truth is, they have had to survive before we came on the scene and will have to do the same after we have gone.And im sure it will be a lot tougher road for them as we farang are afforded in our relatively comfortable lives in the west.

As we all know, there has never been any great welfare sytems in place here, and what some people have had to do to survive is pretty sad.

In hearing stories about what my GFs mother and family went though, (re Vietnam war period) and how JUST surviving was a struggle for everyone, my previous egotistical ideas about how things SHOULD be seem pretty dang insignificant.

Having said that, there is also this insipid greed factor, and I think sometimes there can be many shades of grey between what we identify as what makes for a "normal" Thai GF and a naughty one.

Definately it is the all consuming greed that makes a person cross over to the darker side of themselves, and you can always see it in a true bargirl...they cannot possibly resist the big money, consumerism mentality, and of course this ridiculous "face" thing being all they have in regards to their own worth.

My advice to the OP...

If you can't handle the truth, don't ask for it!

I always felt like the wife in the West felt like she owned me not the reverse.

If you think the West has a welfare system you have not been to a nursing home in the USA. It is better in Thailand.

The only way to get the truth from a Thai women is to convince her you can read her mind.

[TommoPhysicist]

99% of thai women are not prostitutes from age 15+ like you imagine

if you dont understand what i said .......its probably a waste of time saying it again

And I never claimed they were, but in this thread we are only talking about that very small percentage of Thai girls that marry/live with white guys. I'm trying to think of a white/Thai couple that I have met (estimate 150+ couples, guys mostly 50+) where the girl didn't work p4p .............

Apart from my wife (who of course is different), I know one couple where the girl didn't appear to have.

I have only met three young guys with Thai wives, all three were, and nasty ones at that ... the guys didn't have enough cash.

But as Robblock will be quick to point out, I might be mixing in the wrong circles and I'm sure the girls you youngsters find in BK are different.

Edited June 16, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[YipYipYa123]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

this raises of the whole question of double standards again

most men will happily empty bucketloads of cum into any women available to them

3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc are all encouraged by horny men

but many expect their women(the ones theyde consider marrying anyway ) to have not have done all this before with dozens of partners or

at least the thought of it gets to them

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

unfortunately thats just the way it is and women will probably always lie about their sexual history and how many guns they have polished for

the fear of being branded in a negative way becaause of it

Bucketloads of cum, 3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc?

You’re boasting again or have been watching too many porn movies. It can cause hair growth on the palm of your hands and make you go blind, you know.

You’re not getting my point. It is totally irrelevant what the woman done in the past, but what does matter is that a true soul mate should never be ashamed to share they’re past experiences with their partners, otherwise it means the spouse is putting restrictions into the closeness of the relationship with their partner.

I would feel much more comfortable with the knowledge of knowing the true character of my wife, rather than living a make believe with someone I think I know, but don`t really know 100%.

A Lady in the street and a Freak in the Bed .............kinda sums up this situation well

[kerryk]

If my current companion was sexually active, someone was a very poor student. If I ddn't know better, I would swear someone was a Puritan in the past life. I'm not complaining, but just once it would be nice to have one of those situations I read about on the internet. Sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket is hardly an open invitation to carnal adventures. I have asked about past boyfriends and get the icy stare. On the other hand, when there is an argument, I have the mistake I made with someone tossed in my face about how I should go back to the gold digger.

I’m not sure if you realise it, but this is probably one of the most down to earth, gets right down to the nitty gritty, straight to the crux of matter posts on this thread. It describes exactly the core to the theme of relationships and how much people can change from they’re days of pre-marriage or pre-partner.

The sleeping next to someone wearing pajamas and wrapped up in a bathrobe and a blanket in my interpretation is a way of describing that relationships can become monotonous when everything always comes in plain packages, no thrills, spills and excitement. In some cases after many years of marriage or co-habiting together, it can be almost like living with a maiden aunt. Dullsville. I think the movie; A Fish Called Wanda with John Cleese and Jamie Lee Curtis depicts these situations exactly.

What you have described probably pertains to how it is in many relationships. Now, problems and ill feeling can arise when a husband discovers that during the past his wife was quite a promiscuous outgoing person and maybe considered pretty hot stuff by her previous partners, or even that she had deeper feelings, acted differently and had different attitudes towards others that are or have been in her social circle of friends and acquaintances and as you have mentioned, from the day of the marriage some wives try to convey the appearance of having always being some sort of Puritan character which according to them even making love with the lights on would be an extreme act of depravity.

Perhaps this is why many wives are afraid of revealing their past histories, because in a way they do have a part of themselves that they would prefer to keep separate from their husbands, which means there are many aspects of they’re lives they would rather keep to themselves or only share with others outside of the family relationship.

Maybe this is the primary reasons why so many relationships turn sour over the years and the men will go astray in order to find fulfilment, a bit of affection, even if it means putting on an act and paying for it and to add some spice into their lives.

This is why I believe it is important to have knowledge of a wife’s lifestyle, pre-marriage days, because it means you are getting the whole person, someone that is willing to give herself up, mind, body and soul to you, and not someone who is only prepared to give a part of herself as the ever caring dutiful little wifey who places censorships on her behavior, plus puts restrictions and limits herself to how far she will go to please her husband.

It is said; that behind every great man, stands a woman and it is really the woman who is the backbone of the family and if this system fails, than so does the whole family relationship.

this raises of the whole question of double standards again

most men will happily empty bucketloads of cum into any women available to them

3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc are all encouraged by horny men

but many expect their women(the ones theyde consider marrying anyway ) to have not have done all this before with dozens of partners or

at least the thought of it gets to them

most men have no problem having hundreds of sexual partners but would they marry

a woman who has had hundreds of partners in the past ?

probably not ,more likely shel be rejected as damaged goods and theyle move on to something fresher or younger

unfortunately thats just the way it is and women will probably always lie about their sexual history and how many guns they have polished for

the fear of being branded in a negative way becaause of it

Bucketloads of cum, 3somes ,orgies ,drunken parties ,blowjobs ,anal ,facials etc?

You’re boasting again or have been watching too many porn movies. It can cause hair growth on the palm of your hands and make you go blind, you know and why does a woman`s past always have to be given sexual overtones? This is purely in your mind, not mine.

You’re not getting my point. It is totally irrelevant what the woman done in the past, but what does matter is that a true soul mate should never be ashamed to share they’re past experiences with their partners, otherwise it means the spouse is putting restrictions into the closeness of the relationship with their partner.

I would feel much more comfortable with the knowledge of knowing the true character of my wife, rather than living a make believe with someone I think I know, but don`t really know 100%.

What do atheists call soul mates? I just wondered. A soul mate! Wow haven't thought about that concept since i had teenage daughters at home. They got over it at 14. You guys are really lomantic. No wonder they call it the land of smiles. It is almost impossible to keep a straight face for me. Think of what it must be like for an issan girl.

[MB1]

@yipyap.

Got to agree with some of what you said, known plenty of men who have done things you decribed but when they get married expect wifey to have done nothing of the sort in the past.

Yeah it is double standards and some men want to have a good look at their own past behaviour before decribing a woman as a slut.

As for the poster Jaideeguy who said " of course I forgave her" in a post a while ago" wow that was big of you for forgiving her for something she'd done in her past, what prayers did she say for penance, 50 our fathers and 70 Hail Marys maybe.

You was the one having an affair during your marriage and you forgave your wife for what your wife had done in her past, wow if only more men acted like you and had your understanding there would be far less breakdowns of marriage or relationships.

Some men never cease to amaze me.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect App

Edited June 16, 2012 by MB1