Problem Drinking

[mooro_uk]

I believe I am classified as a "problem drinker", basically when I start I can't stop sometimes for days on end. I can go days or even weeks (getting rarer and rarer unfortunately) without touching a drink but then when I do it's a slippery slope downhill. I have spent nights in the cells (both in the UK and in Bkk) because of being drunk and disorderly, I have been beaten up, have lost numerous possession both expensive and of sentimental value, numerous relationships have been destroyed and that's not to mention the huge amount of money I have wasted and the damage to my health all due to alcohol.

Basically I need some help asap. Particularly on Friday and Saturdays. I live alone and so the temptation to go out "for one drink" is huge and 99.9% I will succumb and the vicious circle will start again. However I don't have the confidence to go to an AA meeting alone and my mates would just laugh at me if I even made such a suggestion.

Any help or ideas would be much appreciated, either here or via PM.

Thank you.

[bob4you]

Unless you tell us where you are no one can really volunteer to help. One of the good things about AA is the willingness to help on a buddy system to attend meetings and give strength when asked for help, let us know where you are and then ask people in your area to PM you and find a buddy or two.

[edwinclapham]

I agree with Bob Mooro..

You have recognised the problem which is half the battle, you probably cant feel much lower and the only way for you now is up.

Your true mates would be helping you not laughing at you.

[NBD]

That sounds like an extreme version of my drink problem. I can go for days without a drink, but then I'll get completely hammered. I'm usually pretty sensible and avoid fights or losing stuff, but still not good to get so drunk you can't remember where you were or what you did.

Can't claim to have conquered it completely but a few things that have helped control it:

Routine

I am really bad for thinking Friday afternoon - beer time! When I started working at home, i'd have a beer or two with lunch on Fridays and drink while working in the afternoon. Not good really. Saturday is drinking day, so that would start basically not long after breakfast. Now I absolutely will not drink before 5pm on Friday. And on Saturday I go to the gym first, then do the shopping. With a nice lazy breakfast, this usually means I don't even get to thinking about a drink until the afternoon.

Do stuff

Doesn't have to be white water rafting or cycling to Khao Yai every weekend. Just give yourself jobs or something to do to keep you busy, and make sure you do them before having a drink.

Don't keep beer in the house

I have a couple bottles of wine and some spirits in a cupboard out of the way,but I only really drink those if someone comes round, or I come home merry and call one of my mates back home. Having a fridge full beer is putting temptation right in your way.

Change your friends

That doesn't mean you have to be a dick and ignore your old friends but if you feel forced into mammoth drinking sessions with them then you either need to find some new friends to do something other than drinking with, or suggest doing something other than drinking with your existing friends. This is good because if they're all drinking to the same level there's probably a fair chance they also want to change it, but also I know that it can be very hard - some of my hard drinking mates even managed to turn a morning jog into a boozing session.

I've never gone to AA or sought other help, as I don't feel I am quite extreme enough to warrant it, and I think their never touch another drop approach would be impossible to keep up, and quite likely to lead to me being even worse when I inevitably pack it in.

Edited June 18, 2012 by NBD

[GrahamF]

Get on the web and find the local number for AA in your area, they will help you get to a meeting. The other posters are correct, your real mates wouldn't laugh at you, my real friends took me to a detox, encouraged me to call AA and helped get me to my first meeting. They have also been encouraging throughout my sobriety. Good luck to you, get to a meeting and you will find the people welcoming.

[mooro_uk]

Hi guys and thanks for all your input, in my haste to put up the post I completely forgot to say I am located in Bangkok.

I have contacted the local AA via email and have had a reply so I will follow this up too. The most critical time for me is Friday afternoon early evening (similar to what NBD was saying). This is when it's highly likely I will be inundated with offers to go drinking with friends (who can actually control their drinking) and the alternative is to stay at home alone again. I would really love to be able to have the frame of mind to say no and even better have some alternative planned.

Once again thanks for all your help and kind suggestions.

[Mobi]

AA will be a good first step.

They will give you a lot of help and advice which you urgently need, as it is clear to me that you are an alcoholic and are in urgent need of help.

Remember, no two AA groups are the same and you may have to try more than one before you find one that clicks well with you. There are many groups in Bangkok, for this very reason - many alcoholics don't get on with each other and start new groups.

I attended AA for several years and met some wonderful people, without whom I may well be dead today. Certainly one or two rescued me from some very bad situations when my addiction was at its worst.

Ultimately, you may find that AA is not for you for the long term, but stick with it as long as you can, as there is much benefit to be derived from attending AA meetings, listening and meeting with others who are in similar situations, and trying to work the 12 steps.

Good luck, and don't give up. I didn't and after a life time of drinking I have now been sober for 18 months and know with absolute certainty that I will never touch another drop of alcohol for the rest of my life.

[edwinclapham]

Hi guys and thanks for all your input, in my haste to put up the post I completely forgot to say I am located in Bangkok.

I have contacted the local AA via email and have had a reply so I will follow this up too. The most critical time for me is Friday afternoon early evening (similar to what NBD was saying). This is when it's highly likely I will be inundated with offers to go drinking with friends (who can actually control their drinking) and the alternative is to stay at home alone again. I would really love to be able to have the frame of mind to say no and even better have some alternative planned.

Once again thanks for all your help and kind suggestions.

Very good luck to you mate. Loneliness can be as much of a killer as alcohol. Hopefully once you have established yourself in an AA group, the temptations of weekend drinking alone hopefully will be taken away from you together with having a good buddy when you reach your crisis moments.

Now you have established your own thread, please do let us know how you get on, it might well be able to help others in your situation also.

Good luck mate

Eddie

Edited June 19, 2012 by edwinclapham

[smokie36]

Alcohol fills the hole of boredom. You need to find other activities to keep yourself occupied as well as the support of AA meetings.

Best of luck.

[mooro_uk]

All very valid points, thanks again.

I actually have other activities I can do such as gym, squash etc but sometimes the urge to drink just overcomes all logic and sense. I was also wondering if anybody knows where I can get a medicine called Disulfiram or Antabuse. Basically it's a tablet that if you drink whilst taking it, it will make you very sick. My ex gf gave it to me and I know it definitely works. I think this could be another way to stop this problem as well as help from AA. I have tried several chemists locally but none seem to have it.

I will definitely update everyone about my progress and hope this advice can maybe help any others in this situation too.

[edwinclapham]

All very valid points, thanks again.

I actually have other activities I can do such as gym, squash etc but sometimes the urge to drink just overcomes all logic and sense. I was also wondering if anybody knows where I can get a medicine called Disulfiram or Antabuse. Basically it's a tablet that if you drink whilst taking it, it will make you very sick. My ex gf gave it to me and I know it definitely works. I think this could be another way to stop this problem as well as help from AA. I have tried several chemists locally but none seem to have it.

I will definitely update everyone about my progress and hope this advice can maybe help any others in this situation too.

You can obtain "Antabuse" from your GP. See Sheryl's post //5 on http://www.thaivisa....m-where-to-buy/ regarding Antabuse/Disulfiram.

Getting your vitals checked out with a GP is no bad thing for embarking on your treatment.

As with most medications there are contraindications to observe.

http://www.empr.com/addictiondependence/antabuse/drug/6673/

Eddie

Edited June 19, 2012 by edwinclapham

[mooro_uk]

All very valid points, thanks again.

I actually have other activities I can do such as gym, squash etc but sometimes the urge to drink just overcomes all logic and sense. I was also wondering if anybody knows where I can get a medicine called Disulfiram or Antabuse. Basically it's a tablet that if you drink whilst taking it, it will make you very sick. My ex gf gave it to me and I know it definitely works. I think this could be another way to stop this problem as well as help from AA. I have tried several chemists locally but none seem to have it.

I will definitely update everyone about my progress and hope this advice can maybe help any others in this situation too.

You can obtain "Antabuse" from your GP. See Sheryl's post //5 on http://www.thaivisa....m-where-to-buy/ regarding Antabuse/Disulfiram.

Getting your vitals checked out with a GP is no bad thing for embarking on your treatment.

As with most medications there are contraindications to observe.

http://www.empr.com/...buse/drug/6673/

Eddie

Thanks Eddie, I don't suppose anybody knows where I can get it from a pharmacy in Bangkok? I had a look at the thread but no luck.

Cheers Greg

[Mobi]

Please be very careful before taking any anti-abuse drugs. Read up on it on the internet. These drugs are intended to be a last resort rather than a first resort, and can be very dangerous, if they fail to stop you drinking. Doctors only use them on what they consider to be 'hopeless' cases, when all other treatment has failed.

These drugs can kill when mixed with alcohol.

I strongly recommend you start with AA, and if you make no headway, then consider the alternatives.

Remember, you have already taken a very crucial first step by admitting you have a problem. Countless alcoholics go to their early graves, never having admitted that they have a drinking problem.

[mooro_uk]

Please be very careful before taking any anti-abuse drugs. Read up on it on the internet. These drugs are intended to be a last resort rather than a first resort, and can be very dangerous, if they fail to stop you drinking. Doctors only use them on what they consider to be 'hopeless' cases, when all other treatment has failed.

These drugs can kill when mixed with alcohol.

I strongly recommend you start with AA, and if you make no headway, then consider the alternatives.

Remember, you have already taken a very crucial first step by admitting you have a problem. Countless alcoholics go to their early graves, never having admitted that they have a drinking problem.

Dear Mobi, thanks for your concern and I understand exactly what you are saying. In fact I have taken these drugs before and drank on them. The last time I did it I was violently sick and probably luckily to get away with just that. So there is absolutely no chance that I would drink again whilst one these drugs having had that experience before. My plan is to take these pills on Friday or Saturdays when the temptation is there to completely defeat it, this in addition to AA.

FYI I am calling them for the first time tonight, a little nervous to be honest.

[edwinclapham]

Please be very careful before taking any anti-abuse drugs. Read up on it on the internet. These drugs are intended to be a last resort rather than a first resort, and can be very dangerous, if they fail to stop you drinking. Doctors only use them on what they consider to be 'hopeless' cases, when all other treatment has failed.

These drugs can kill when mixed with alcohol.

I strongly recommend you start with AA, and if you make no headway, then consider the alternatives.

Remember, you have already taken a very crucial first step by admitting you have a problem. Countless alcoholics go to their early graves, never having admitted that they have a drinking problem.

Dear Mobi, thanks for your concern and I understand exactly what you are saying. In fact I have taken these drugs before and drank on them. The last time I did it I was violently sick and probably luckily to get away with just that. So there is absolutely no chance that I would drink again whilst one these drugs having had that experience before. My plan is to take these pills on Friday or Saturdays when the temptation is there to completely defeat it, this in addition to AA.

FYI I am calling them for the first time tonight, a little nervous to be honest.

Good luck mate!

[NBD]

Forget the drugs, they're always a bad idea. I wouldn't bother with AA either. It sounds like you're talking yourself into a more serious problem than you actually have.

You've hit the bottle a bit hard during a low patch, and realised it. Good.

It's Tuesday now, so keep right off it until Friday, limit yourself to say 5 beers on Friday, then keep off it again for another week.

Those Friday beers will taste good, and you'll feel fine on Saturday too, and thus more like doing something constructive with your free time.

[StreetCowboy]

To echo what NBD said - stay off it till, Friday, then have three or four beers, go on somewhere else, one or two more, forget whether it was four and two or three and one, have a couple more to be on the safe side, one more for the road and ...

phone your bank in the morning to find out where you last used your credit card - there'll be a good chance that your phone will be there too; and your trousers, and you can think about stopping again next week. I've never woken up in the morning and thought "Oh God, why didn't I have more to drink? Why didn't I have just one more?"

If you do make it to an AA meeting, pass on my regards; I'd recommend giving it a go

SC

[NBD]

Or run around joining every support group in town, swear off alcohol for life, dam_n anyone you see drinking alcohol and join a baptist church, if we're working only with extremes here.

If you are so far gone that you literally can not stop yourself ever and you're turning into that guy with the vodka by his bed and whisky in your coffee then sure, seek professional help.

If you are like many people, especially living in Thailand, a sociable drinker who sometimes gets carried away and gets too wasted, and has been doing it rather too much lately then try self control first. Really try it, before resorting to professional help.

[Mobi]

"...basically when I start I can't stop sometimes for days on end."

...I have spent nights in the cells (both in the UK and in Bkk) because of being drunk and disorderly, I have been beaten up, have lost numerous possession both expensive and of sentimental value, numerous relationships have been destroyed and that's not to mention the huge amount of money I have wasted and the damage to my health all due to alcohol....

"Basically I need some help asap...."

"....the temptation to go out "for one drink" is huge and 99.9% I will succumb and the vicious circle will start again."

When the OP himself comes on open forum and makes statements like those quoted above, then he is in need of help.

Even if NBD is correct, which seems extremely unlikely, what possible harm can it do to attend a few AA meetings and then decide for himself whether or not he is an alcoholic and whether he needs help?

Edited June 19, 2012 by Mobi

[rucus7]

Or run around joining every support group in town, swear off alcohol for life, dam_n anyone you see drinking alcohol and join a baptist church, if we're working only with extremes here.

If you are so far gone that you literally can not stop yourself ever and you're turning into that guy with the vodka by his bed and whisky in your coffee then sure, seek professional help.

If you are like many people, especially living in Thailand, a sociable drinker who sometimes gets carried away and gets too wasted, and has been doing it rather too much lately then try self control first. Really try it, before resorting to professional help.

In Thailand, just as in any other Country it is okay not to drink.

[edwinclapham]

"...basically when I start I can't stop sometimes for days on end."

...I have spent nights in the cells (both in the UK and in Bkk) because of being drunk and disorderly, I have been beaten up, have lost numerous possession both expensive and of sentimental value, numerous relationships have been destroyed and that's not to mention the huge amount of money I have wasted and the damage to my health all due to alcohol....

"Basically I need some help asap...."

"....the temptation to go out "for one drink" is huge and 99.9% I will succumb and the vicious circle will start again."

When the OP himself comes on open forum and makes statements like those quoted above, then he is in need of help.

Even if NBD is correct, which seems extremely unlikely, what possible harm can it do to attend a few AA meetings and then decide for himself whether or not he is an alcoholic and whether he needs help?

My feelings exactly!

[StreetCowboy]

I suppose some of us feel threatened when others realise that they have our problem, but we are not ready to admit it.

I have a friend who goes on benders at the imminent cost of his job, his marriage... and I really struggle to see why he is unable to stay away from the first drink.

And I'm typing that with a beer in front of me...

SC

[Radar501]

Hi guys and thanks for all your input, in my haste to put up the post I completely forgot to say I am located in Bangkok.

I have contacted the local AA via email and have had a reply so I will follow this up too. The most critical time for me is Friday afternoon early evening (similar to what NBD was saying). This is when it's highly likely I will be inundated with offers to go drinking with friends (who can actually control their drinking) and the alternative is to stay at home alone again. I would really love to be able to have the frame of mind to say no and even better have some alternative planned.

Once again thanks for all your help and kind suggestions.

Are these friends who you get offers to go drinking with, the same mates you speak of in your original post who you think would laugh at you if you mentioned you were considering AA? Are these friends aware that you have a history of being locked up for D and D, and the effects that alcohol is having on your life? If so, they are NOT your friends. Try finding some new associates who give a sh*t.

Strange that you have a picture of Winston Churchill as your avatar. Self-admitted alcoholic who used to talk about the black dog of depression.

Please excuse my avatar.

Good luck buddy.

Edited June 19, 2012 by Radar501

[NBD]

What harm can it do? Well in the only guy I know of who went to AA, he stayed clean for about 3 months then got back into his drinking in an even bigger way. Ok, I wouldn't exactly blame AA for that, but if you can learn self control it's much better in my view.

[mooro_uk]

Hi guys, glad to see my post has stirred up some interesting debate about the merits of AA, self control etc.

I hear what you are saying NBD, but I've been trying self controlled drinking for literally years now and it just doesn't work. I realy envy my mates and others who can have five or six drinks and just go home....

Radar, I never realised WC was an alcoholic it's kind of ironic.

I'm going to give the beginners meeting of AA a go this Sunday evening. Not too sure what to expect but I can't see it doing any harm.

Once again thanks for your comments and support.

[edwinclapham]

Hi guys, glad to see my post has stirred up some interesting debate about the merits of AA, self control etc.

I hear what you are saying NBD, but I've been trying self controlled drinking for literally years now and it just doesn't work. I realy envy my mates and others who can have five or six drinks and just go home....

Radar, I never realised WC was an alcoholic it's kind of ironic.

I'm going to give the beginners meeting of AA a go this Sunday evening. Not too sure what to expect but I can't see it doing any harm.

Once again thanks for your comments and support.

Looking forward to hearing your report on Monday, as Mobi I think said, it might take visiting a few branches of AA to see which is the correct venue for yourself.

Best wishes and very good luck

Eddie

[NBD]

Hope you don't think I was trying to trivialise the problem at all.

Good luck with it, and do let us know how you get on.

[Mobi]

One of the many problems that confront alcoholics is that people who are 'heavy drinkers' but rarely, if ever, have any problems in stopping when they need to, simply do not understand that for others, alcoholism is a progressive disease and that they cannot stop, no matter what and no matter how much they are destroying their lives and often their families as well.

It is a widely held belief amongst those who do not suffer from addiction that it is 'just a matter of 'self control', which clearly, for some, it is not.

I am not having a go at anyone, as we are all entitled to our own opinions on this subject, but I can say from personal experience that quiet often, it is unhelpful for someone to tell an alcoholic to 'get a grip of himself'. Statements like this simply hasten the downward spiral of alcoholism.

That is why I firmly believe that in the initial stages at least, an alcoholic is better off getting advice from fellow, recovering alcoholics, to whom they can relate, rather than 'heavy social drinkers' who really do not comprehend what what they are going through.

And to all those 'heavy social drinkers out there, please take care, as many so-called social drinkers have turned into full blown alcoholics in their later years.

I have known many such people in Thailand, several of whom have already died due to alcohol related causes.

[Sheryl]

Well said, Mobi.

[mooro_uk]

No problem at all NBD.

I also know of someone in a close friend's family who died in Thailand because they were a chronic alcoholic (ie drinking all the time, 24/7).

I have also had a look at the "12 steps" of AA and a little bit surprised to see they seem more spiritual than practical, but at this stage I am willing to give anything a try.

Will let you all know how it goes and many thanks once again.