My first two weeks in Thailand were on business near Pattaya. I went up and down the Walking Street several times on the first day and saw many beautiful women who smiled and beckoned. Some first impression...and just a little bit intimidating. Not that I've led a sheltered life. It was also a little depressing.

Then at the work place on Monday I had a completely different experience. The women were just as young and beautiful, but they were professionals who would not dream of standing around the bars on the Walking Street in Pattaya. Most of them had college degrees, several had MBAs. And you know what, most of them were single and eligible. Now that I am good friends with one of these women, I have learned that there are many similarly available young women working at the professional level in Thailand. Another Thai woman told me that Thai men prefer women who are less educated and not so smart. This sounds like the attitude of some men in my own country.

My Thai friend pays close attention to Thai and Chinese traditions for Thai women with regard to propriety, but she's no prude. She comes from a nice family and has introduced me to them. She earns a decent salary and has four criteria for a mate: fidelty, kindness, generosity, and truthfulness. She saves her money and has proven to me that she can buy what she wants for herself. She has an MBA and a good head for business. She would also like to go into business with me, if I wish. Her heart's desire is to have a family and to own her own business.

Recently on a day excursion we sat next to another farang who had the means and has the plans to open a bar in Thailand. When my friend left for a few minutes he could hardly believe her age (she looks very, very young) and her professional credentials. He wanted to know where I found her. Evidently he had not had the same experience as I.

Now, I have read several entries in the Expat Forum that paint cynical pictures of Thai women as being greedy and cunning. I have had another experience, but the things I read made me skeptical, so I had several heart-wrenching discussions with my friend. Now I am convinced of her integrity and I regret going through the discussions, but I believe that they made the relationship stronger.

It would interest me to know whether anyone else out there has had similar experiences.

I am also interested in learning anything you might know about Thai women in general that contradicts negative stereotypes, not just information relating to their love lives. I am very impressed with my friend and her friends.

Hi Learner

Not sure whether I can add anything valuable, but will give it a shot . Most of the thai women I know are from work and are educated, well mannered and far from greedy. They earn less than me but are always giving me little gifts and when we go out won't allow me to pay. When it comes to love they're either married or work so much don't have time for it (and tend to go for thai men).

I don't know any bar girls - but have had contact with them (yes, have been to these places ). I had a laugh with them and they kept wanting to barfine me, but they never once tried getting money out of me. Obviously my experience was completely different to that of a male there for a bit of relief .

Have heard the stereotypes, but that's all they really are stereotypes. Sounds like you've got some nice friends, glad you value them for who they are .

Hi Nat, thanks for your reply. I was beginning to think I had posted this inquiry in the wrong location, perhaps asking for information from readers who had had no contact with professional Thai women. I agree that the Thai women I know are very job-oriented, working long hours on many days, and that this limits their social lives. On the other hand, I sense that they would not necessarily prefer Thai men to westerners. This seems especially true for the women who focused on their educations and careers before looking seriously for a partner.

Dear Learner,

I have a lot of contacts with Thai working girls, all of them from the best universities in Thailand and what you said is right, i.e. they are smart, hard working and usually have very little social life.

They are usually very shy when going outside and do not have (these days) a lot of respect for Thai men, whom they think are not the reference as far as fidelity is concerned,...

But they usually are from the "rich" Thai-Chinese families and as such have a lot of family pressure as far as the money is concerned,...

So, money is still the main concern, not the education of the people they mix with,...

Hello Bluecat,

Thanks for your input. What you say about shyness and lack of respect for Thai men with regard to fidelty is what I am hearing. My friend had a bad experience with her previous (Thai) boyfriend who was quite a philanderer. But I don't know how Thai men are much different from most western men in this respect. Faithfulness is my friend's number one requirement, but that could be because the lack of money is not an issue. Not that I am rich by any degree, by my standards, but then Thais may think otherwise. My friend is the oldest sibling, so indeed there is a lot of pressure for money in the family (Chinese heritage as you mentioned).

As the oldest she automatically has more responsiblity for her parents. Recently she convinced her brother and sister to help purchase their parents a new home. I am sure she paid the lion's share of the down payment and I know she sends her mom money every month. Now at age 32, she is losing some of her shyness and is setting about carving out a life of her own...in spite of what her parents may or may not like. A real balancing act...staying in the culture and asserting herself at the same time. I really do admire her courage.

never done this b4; just testing 2 see if it works.

Whatever the level, unfortunately here in Thailand somewhere money will be the issue.

Even if not obvious..it is a very much money orientated country.

Tell your g/f you have no money to pay the bride fine to her family...maybe she don't care..but 100% her mother would not let her marry you.

Cheers Mac.

Mac 39,

My mother and father dont even care about the dowry.

exception proves the rule...

Dear Learner

My Thai girlfriend is the bravest and the most reliable woman I've ever met in my life. Enough said.