Farang/Thai Relationships - The Good Ones

[antonb]

Hi,

I'm forever reading or hearing about farang/thai relationships that end badly.

A farang losing all his money and possessions and TGF cheating with kareoke boy etc..etc...

I know that not all thai's are the same but all I seem to know is the bad experiences, which in turn makes me have that little bit of doubt about my relationship with an Issarn girl.

I have not bought any land/houses/condos etc..

And so far so good in our relationship (1yr)

Does Anybody have any good stories with a happy ending.

(not that kind of happy ending)

Cheers

[rijb]

My Thai wife and I have been together since 1972. We're the same age and we've had our ups and downs. But, I'd do it again. We don't plan on any endings soon!

[ripstanley]

My Thai wife and I have been together since 1972. We're the same age and we've had our ups and downs. But, I'd do it again. We don't plan on any endings soon!

Great to see and congratulations.

[Ulysses G.]

I know of a lot of successful relationships as well as a lot of bad ones and some of the ones that worked were with "good girls" and some were with bar girls.

Edited June 20, 2012 by Ulysses G.

[Galong]

Why do people insist on using the derogatory word farang? It's bad enough when Thais use it.

[edwinclapham]

I met my wife who is an Issan girl in Australia where she had been educated. We are now married and the proud parents of twin sons.

Mrs EC's parents are absolutely wonderful and very supportive. We havent paid sin sod, brought land/property/cars etc. An all round well balanced family with no pretentions.

[NBD]

Been with my wife 3 years, first baby just born last month. Never been happier. Ok I'm 37 years behind rjib above, I wasn't even born in 1972!

She's 5 years younger than me, never worked in a bar. She is from a farm in Isan, but a good family with no alcoholism or gambling problems in the immediate family anyway.

[Ulysses G.]

Why do people insist on using the derogatory word farang? It's bad enough when Thais use it.

Because it is not derogatory.

[David48]

Why do people insist on using the derogatory word farang? It's bad enough when Thais use it.

Because it's not derogatory ... and that's how the Thai's identify us fair skinned fellas'

EDIt:- Believe it or not ... I didn't get to read your post ^^ till I wrote mine.

OH well, least we agree on that!

Edited June 20, 2012 by David48

[David48]

I met my wife who is an Issan girl in Australia where she had been educated. We are now married and the proud parents of twin sons.

Mrs EC's parents are absolutely wonderful and very supportive. We havent paid sin sod, brought land/property/cars etc. An all round well balanced family with no pretentions.

... and I've seen his Missus and she is 'drop dead gorgeous'.

Lucky bloke that Mr Ed ... but why the long face?

[Pormax]

I have a Thai wife, 29 years younger than I. Been married for 2 years but was with her a year before that. Live in her village in Buriram. It does take a lot of adjusting to. However all well between the two of us. Had a five year relationship with another Thai lady before this but never felt comfortable enough to get married, in the end I was proved correct about her, it was the money she wanted not me. Like you, I have heard many, many, many stories, not good, about Thai ladies and their relaitionships with their Farang boyfriend/husband. Although there is a saying that 'bad news travels fast' one does have to be extremely careful with a relationship to a Thai lady. There are some very good ladies but due to many reasons there are many more bad ones. As regards the lady having a Thai boyfriend then this also is very common. Even here in the village it surprises no one that a Thai lady who is married has one maybe two or even three other 'boyfriends'.and is almost accepted that a married Thai man will have 'girlfriends' even in the same village. It is the Thai culture.

I do hate the term 'bargirl' used. This is demeaning. They do what they have to do to take care of themselves and their families. I know of a few (not many I must admit) who are really very nice 'good' ladies. I know a lot more so called 'bargirls' who are taught very quickly how to fleece the farang by those they work with. Some are really crafty, clever and devious so very hard to catch them out.

Good that you have doubts because it does mean that you are thinking with your head not your d**k. Too many don't and that is when things tend to go bad. You have to go with you gut instinct and hope you are one of many who have a happy settled relationship.

[TommoPhysicist]

I do hate the term 'bargirl' used. This is demeaning.

Not as demeaning as calling them 'hookers'.

[kokesaat]

I was in the military for 26 years and have since lived in Thailand for 15. My wife and I married in 1973, and we've known dozens of happily marriages between Americans and Thais over the years. Sure, some failed, but comparatively speaking with marriages between two Americans that we've known, the mixed marriages have done better (in our estimation). Likewise, we've known dozens of Americans who married Japanese and Koreans and most of those marriages have held up over the years. In most all these cases, the husband/wife grew old together, worked and saved bit by bit, raised a family......in my wife's case and most others that we know of, marriage was not for money's sake.......I was 23, dirt poor, and a freshly promoted E-4 in the Air Force making spit for pay.

Most of these marriages were between similarly aged men/women. That's not to say that a big age difference is a show stopper......we know a few Americans who have married significantly younger women and their marriages are doing fine.

Edited June 20, 2012 by kokesaat

[sirineou]

There are a few positive Thread on why we love our Thai wife,and why we like Thailand, and many of us post our stories there, to provide a counter point to the " Thais are bad, Thai women will steal your money" type of thread. if you scroll a couple of pages back you will find a few.

As it was said before " Bad news travel fast"and that is why you hear so much of that.

Most people don't start a thread " Hi my name is Bob and nothing bad happen to me" and if they do it does not last long and get's buried.

I live part of my time in Thailand. and part of my time in the US, When in Thailand i am too busy with my family friends and home to socialize with other " Farangs" so I don;t know much of their story , good or bad, all I know is what I read here.

I personally know of one Isaan woman that was screwed by a farang man here in Thailand when he talked her in to getting a Government loan to build a Mac Mansion, on her land, and then did a runner with a much younger Thai girl, and left her with a very large bill.so there is the other side of the story.

But back in the US we have an extended circle of friends, Americans married to Thai ladies. all Happy and well adjusted, living normal lives.

Ps: both me and my Thai wife work, and I never had as much money or being as happy as I am now.

[Grumbles]

I've been with my other half for about 6 + years. We've been married for 2 years.

No money has changed hands,. She's a great woman. (but still a woman ) We have our ups & downs, as do any couple, but I trust her implicitly and vice versa.

If you think of all the foriegners that come over here & use & abuse some of the women, it's no wonder that you hear horror stories.

I wonder how many times these blokes get ripped off because the girl gets in first.

I've heard blokes talking to their mates saying things like " I think it's time for a change, I'll get rid of this one soon"

They forget that the lady understands a lot of what is said. If you heard your boss was going to sack you, wouldn't you want to get in first & organize your own severance package?

I'm not saying this is the case all the times but I'd be willing to bet there would be a few similar cases among the 'horror stories'.

[Sharp]

Hi,

I'm forever reading or hearing about farang/thai relationships that end badly.

A farang losing all his money and possessions and TGF cheating with kareoke boy etc..etc...

I know that not all thai's are the same but all I seem to know is the bad experiences, which in turn makes me have that little bit of doubt about my relationship with an Issarn girl.

I have not bought any land/houses/condos etc..

And so far so good in our relationship (1yr)

Does Anybody have any good stories with a happy ending.

(not that kind of happy ending)

Cheers

Been with my missis 10 years this year ups and downs for sure but as normal as another relationship I've had out side Thailand so can't complain looking forward to another 10 + -10 etc ...

[Lite Beer]

An Off Topic Troll Post has been removed. Along with the illegitimate replies to it.

[Semper]

Why do people insist on using the derogatory word farang? It's bad enough when Thais use it.

I wonder why people use the words 'my Thai wife' ? Wouldn't 'my wife' be sufficient?

[sirineou]

An Off Topic Troll Post has been removed. Along with the illegitimate replies to it.

[mjj]

In 2003 I decided to go to Oz with a 1 month stopover in Thailand. Whilst in Thailand I met someone that I thought was perfect wife material. The stopover lasted for 14 months and I paid for EVERYTHING except I dinner at the Pizza Company. During this time we had a lot of arguements because she seemed so perfect and I'd read and heard that this is what Thai women do - act perfect, but just want money.

The naysayers had wormed into my brain and were causing me to doubt my instincts. No one could put up this act so consistently though, could they?

As money dwindled I realised I needed to do something quick. I was offered a job back home in the UK, so I decided to take it - but what to do with the girl?

Being pushed into a corner advice was given to me to leave her as I'll get over it - plenty more fish in the sea and all that. But the great thing about advice is that you can ignore it, and with an 'oh fuc_k it' moment I decided to marry her and take her with me.

Arriving in the UK with a Thai bride was met with much sniggering and 'be careful' advice from family and friends. Then things took a turn for the worse as my job offer never materialised and I was unemployed for 9 months. So living with my parents we were broke and stuck. Now this is the when everyone was expecting my Thai bride to do a vanishing act.

What she did was take a job cleaning at a hospital, supporting her husband and never ONCE complained that I had to spend her money.

Ever since we have been together our money has been exactly that, OUR money. If either of us want anything they will run it past the other first and never has either of us said no, just sometimes maybe wait a bit.

We are both very happy with an awesome 3 year old son and I believe our relationship is as strong as any. She knows all my bank accounts as I do hers. All our savings, collateral and investments are in her name, but I do not lose a wink of sleep over it - because I trust her.

I know that will have many people on here pissing their pants and offering their thoughts and advice, but you know what............I trust my instincts now more than ever.

Oh, P.S. She is not Thai Chinese hi-so or educated beyond Pratom 6. She comes from a village in the south and she is my Jungle Princess.

[richard_smith237]

According to some on this forum, if you are in a happy relationship with a Thai lady you are naive and the fall is coming. You can't prove them wrong as you can't predict the future. They will always throw the 'my girl is different' accusation at you and can only comprehend life through their own regret.

Normal relationships here are common.

There must be some link whereby the stronger the cynicism the greater the failure rate and personality flaws of those who dish out the negativity...

[farang000999]

The best thing you can do is not let your assets get lopsided in the direction of your wife. A Thai wife cannot take everything if it is not first given to her.

Edited June 20, 2012 by farang000999

[GAS]

I think most of the guys here show up in Thailand and meet the girls they are able to meet and it usually ends in tears....my experience here has been the complete opposite of pretty much everything I read here on TV.

Luckily I was introduced to normal middle class Thais thanks to a friend who has been here forever, otherwise I think doing something like that is quite difficult. Over 3 years with my GF who is just your average middle class Thai and no problems when it comes to money...it also helps we are about the same age...

[Rsquared]

My advice has probably been said a thousand times before, but I believe it works as it worked for me.........live with the girl for at least 6 months, the longer the better, either in your home country or her village. As you will no longer be in holiday mode and you will both see each others true colours (likes and dislikes) and after that then you can ask yourself truly if she is the one.

I admit it won't work 100% of the time, but it is a pretty good start.

For me, I had my wife to be, come out to Oz for 6 weeks at first, then again for 6 months. Other times I was travelling to LOS for 3-4 week holidays staying first at her place in Phuket, then at her sisters in her home village.

After 12 months of seeing each other we decided to get married in Oz and she lived there for 7 years until we got things sorted out so I could retire......so here I am now happily married and retired in Thailand out in the sticks and luvin' it.

Coming up to our 8th wedding anniversary and been living here now 15 months. (I am 52 and she is 42).

To the OP, sure read all the gone wrong stories and try and learn from others' mistakes, if it feels right only you can tell.

Whatever you decide to do Have Fun doing it.

[GAS]

The best thing you can do is not let your assets get lopsided in the direction of your wife. A Thai wife cannot take everything if it is not first given to her.

Why would she "take it"?? I dont understand some of the people here...why would you have an intimate relationship with someone if you could not even trust them with some money or assets?

[Burbridge]

I guess the ratio must be a little higher here due to the older guys going with younger women, but if you took that ratio and compared it to that in the west it would not be to different. As long as you find some one that you trust then who are we to decide your happiness, those willing to take a risk will only reap the rewards!

[wildorchid]

I do hate the term 'bargirl' used. This is demeaning.

Not as demeaning as calling them 'hookers'.

A doctor is called a doctor, a teacher is called a teacher, a "bargirl" is called a"bargirl" what would you prefer to call them? whore, prostitute, galee?

[JUDAS]

I used to be a total @sshole ( some may say I am ) I would argue with anyone, see the worst in people etc etc, then I might my wife. I had never known anyone to be so unselfish, patient, caring and giving ( the list could be endless )and strangely enough it's rubbed of on me, to the point that my parents and siblings comment on how much I've changed for the better. We are totally supportive of one another and I like to think we are best friends too. In fact, as I type this my wife is at work slaving away in the kitchen of our restaurant. I guess I'm saying I'm a happy and very proud man.

[Huayrat]

2 years and still going strong for me and my wife

[mjj]

I used to be a total @sshole ( some may say I am ) I would argue with anyone, see the worst in people etc etc, then I might my wife. I had never known anyone to be so unselfish, patient, caring and giving ( the list could be endless )and strangely enough it's rubbed of on me, to the point that my parents and siblings comment on how much I've changed for the better. We are totally supportive of one another and I like to think we are best friends too. In fact, as I type this my wife is at work slaving away in the kitchen of our restaurant. I guess I'm saying I'm a happy and very proud man.

Remove the restaurant part and that could have been written by me!