Question About A "Wai"

[DrTuner]

So your not a ''mixer'' then, bit of a loner.

I'm picky about my company, yes. I'll leave the idle mingling stuff to people preferring such activities. Far from being alone though, there are interesting folks around here, probably one in every thousand.

Let me guess........you're that 'one'.

Why of course, natural, innit ? The great majority of people really are not interesting. Normal jobs, normal lives, middle of Gaussian curve. I prefer the ends of the curve. And I reckon the odd (and hence interesting) people either not wai at all, or wai everything that moves.

[transam]

So your not a ''mixer'' then, bit of a loner.

I'm picky about my company, yes. I'll leave the idle mingling stuff to people preferring such activities. Far from being alone though, there are interesting folks around here, probably one in every thousand.

Let me guess........you're that 'one'.

Why of course, natural, innit ? The great majority of people really are not interesting. Normal jobs, normal lives, middle of Gaussian curve. I prefer the ends of the curve. And I reckon the odd (and hence interesting) people either not wai at all, or wai everything that moves.

Perhaps the natives think the same about you eh, not interesting.

[bkkjames]

So your not a ''mixer'' then, bit of a loner.

I'm picky about my company, yes. I'll leave the idle mingling stuff to people preferring such activities. Far from being alone though, there are interesting folks around here, probably one in every thousand.

Let me guess........you're that 'one'.

Why of course, natural, innit ? The great majority of people really are not interesting. Normal jobs, normal lives, middle of Gaussian curve. I prefer the ends of the curve. And I reckon the odd (and hence interesting) people either not wai at all, or wai everything that moves.

I am most definately the former, where do I apply?

[DrTuner]

Perhaps the natives think the same about you eh, not interesting.

I hope so. Win-win.

[mca]

These threads are amusing. I equate a wai to the western handshake and it's worked just fine.

That's exactly what it is!

That's exactly what it isn't. A handshake is not the acceptance or expectation of subservience or servility between one human being and another.

I only shake hands with people I know or want to know, or have done business with. I have no desire to know waitresses, 7/11 clerks and so on. So I don't wai them. I don't shake hands with the Indian tailors trying to stop me on Beach road either, they try to use it as a method of swimming into your inner circle and sell you low quality garments. As an analogy I don't wai back any shop owners who look like they've got plans for Farang for dinner. Like said, worked just fine and I don't associate it with any pissing contest.

You can't equate a Thai wai with a western handshake.

[DrTuner]

You can't equate a Thai wai with a western handshake.

Who's going to stop me ?

[mca]

You can't equate a Thai wai with a western handshake.

Who's going to stop me ?

I doubt anyone could be bothered. .

[F1fanatic]

I posted this several years ago so will repost it here. The full topic is here > Wai Oh Wai

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Pretty much every time this topic pops up it gets the same crowd.

1. Those who don't wai at anything

2. Those that only wai a certain category of people

3. The backpacker wai - wais everything, even the local soi dog.

4. The culturally aware, which appears to be a small minority.

I have been coming to Thailand for over 35 years, working here nearly 16 years and 99.9% of my interactions are with Thai, from the lowest class to the highest class you can imagine. I made/make an effort to know the culture and its' meaning to make my daily life more pleasant. I'm at a point where I instinctively know when, where and how to wai. Not to say that I don't occasionally make a faux pax, but when I do I usually realize it immediately and kick myself for a while for doing it (in other words, I should have known better).

I talked to a Thai ajarn friend of mine at the university regarding his thoughts on farangs and waiing or not waiing. First I asked if it was a tourist or a visiting professor and he did not return a wai, what would he think. His comment was he wouldn't think anything of it knowing the person is culturally unaware. Now he made a point though and used me as an example (as an analogy for the opposite farang group). He said if he was standing somewhere out of sight and saw a Thai approach me and waied me but I didn't return the wai, he would be quite upset.

The reason is he knows me, that I have been here a long time and understand the culture, I speak the language and have a Thai wife. In other words, there is no excuse for my behavior with this person. Same with some other Thais at the university, if you refuse to wai then you do not respect the culture or the people (again, if you have been here for an extended period and not the casual visitor).

Now these are highly educated Thais who make a distinction between the various farang categories. Now try to think of lessor educated Thais and I suspect their thoughts are a little less forgiving.

One last thing and that is waiing children. Some think it is never appropriate. My ajarn friend explained that he will return a wai to a child (he will not initiate it), his reasoning is if he doesn't the child will grow up thinking it is not important. In other words, he leads by example. Funny enough, seems I see more higher class Thais returning wais to kids then others.

Handshake vs wai. Yes, not the same thing in either meaning or effect. Though having said that, it seems I remember reading that the wai originated in the same fashion as the handshake. That is, it was to show your enemy you were not holding a weapon. I'm still trying to find the history and the where and why of how the wai started. My colleague believes it originated in India.

My 2 satangs.

This is very very helpful, and insightful. Thank you

good stuff tywais

Another one that gets the keyboards red hot is the waiing of restaurant staff etc. You never wai "inferiors" and all that happy horseshit. I'll usually give an acknowledging wai to serving staff as they wai my group when we leave the restaurant. So will most Thais I've been in the company of. When I take my car to the cleaners I'll give an acknowledging wai to the guy as he wais me when he walks up to collect my keys. I've seen plenty of Thais do it as well. Not a big "I've just met the Khon Kaen mayor at a function" wai. As I said just an acknowledgement of the person I'm interacting with.

Of course it's not law that you have to do it. It just marks you out as a very polite person whose parent's raised you well. Same as I'll always say thank you when a waitress fills my water glass, clears my plate etc. It's how I've been brought up.

I'm sure you're right that in our mind its polite to return a gesture showing respect.

But 'waing' also needs to take into account the level of your hands when returning the wai. Too high and they think you're an idiot farang - too low and they think you're being rude!

[DrTuner]

Well there are a couple of good things about a wai. First, it gives you an excellent chance to grind out that booger stuck deep in the nostrils at the same time and it is indeed more clean then handshaking. So I'd conclude that perhaps it really is a bit superior to a handshake. The Wai Police may have a point.

Edited July 27, 2012 by DrTuner

[nocturn]

These threads are amusing. I equate a wai to the western handshake and it's worked just fine.

That's exactly what it is!

That's exactly what it isn't. A handshake is not the acceptance or expectation of subservience or servility between one human being and another.

if demonstrating respect is akin to demonstrating your servility you may be on to something here.

[notmyself]

That's exactly what it isn't. A handshake is not the acceptance or expectation of subservience or servility between one human being and another.

if demonstrating respect is akin to demonstrating your servility you may be on to something here.

Doesn't have to be true, all that is needed is for people to accept it which is what we see. Some people seem glad of their chains.