Me Mudder

When me prayers were poorly said

Who tucked me in me widdle bed

And spanked me till me arse was wed

Me Mudder

Who took me from me cozy cot

And put me on the ice cold pot

And made me pee if I could not

Me Mudder

And when the morning light would come

And in me crib me dribbled some

Who wiped me tiny widdle bum

Me Mudder

Who would me hair so neatly part

And hug me gently to her heart

Who sometimes squeezed me till me fart

Me Mudder

Who looked at me with eyebrows knit

And nearly have a king size fit

When in me Sunday pants me shit

Me Mudder

When at night her bed did squeak

Me raised me head to have a peak

Who yelled at me to go to sleep

Me Fadder!