Khun Bob Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 (edited) A few examples might help first I'm (your) on a bus, its very early in the morning (or very late at night depending on your view), not doing anything but looking out of the window and a Thai bloke starts saying hello. Its obvious that the bloke is either very drunk or crazy, and alot of other passengers on the bus are looking in disgust at the Thai guy. I'm (Your) on an overnight train, in the restaurant carriage, I'm listening to some music. In the carriage there is mainly Thai men and they are drinking spirits. Dont know what they were saying as i wasnt listening, but a guy starts to pat me on the leg and starts saying hello. I'm (Your) having a drink at a roadside restaurant and there are three Thai guys drinking whiskey next to you. One of them starts to say hello. There are other examples too but this isnt a diary of them. Usually before a Thai guy tries to communicate you here farang being said and there is laughter around that. Typically the Thai bloke is 40 years plus. I dont have anything against thai blokes and I certainly wanst doing anything to incite any negative attitude or reaction - just minding my own business. I dress conservatively and do not consider myself to look unusual for a farang. I'm asking this as it seems to be happening maybe once every couple of weeks and I am very wary of drunk Thai men. I do not want to get into a difficult situation and doubt this would happen. I'm putting this on here as I'm pretty sure I'm not the only person this has happenned to and there are people here who have been in Thailand far longer than me. Just looking for some wisdom, experience and advice. Cheers Edited January 20, 2006 by Khun Bob Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Say hello back. Seems they (thai men) are damned if they don't (see the "do you have any male thai friends" thread) & damned if they do. Maybe they only feel confident enough to strike up a convo when they are drunk as they might be shy or not secure in their english skills when sober. Maybe they think you are lonely or bored & want to invite you into their group. Or maybe you need to lighten up & say hello & go back to looking out of the window or listening to your music? If you feel threatened then move away from them but if they are just having a laugh & trying to make small talk with the farang then be polite but carry on with what your doing & if they persist just make out you don't understand & walk away with a smile on your face (I have used this trick on many occasion & usually works ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GuestHouse Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Depends on the situation. The overriding objective of all my responses it to get myself away from the guy(s). Reponses vary but have included. 'Sorry my wife is waiting for me' 'Sorry I can't drink (maybe giving some excuse like ... got an embarrasing problem that needs antibiotics). 'I have to go, but let me buy you a drink - Waiter!' 'Sorry I don't speak Thai' 'Sorry I've got the shits - gotta go..'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeaceBlondie Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I answer in Spanish. "Ola, senor, como esta' usted? Muy bien, gracias. Pienso que su bue se cayo' en la caca." The last sentence roughly says, " I think your buffalo just fell into the manure." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blabbel Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 The worst mistake would be to get annoyed with them. Being a happy boozer, I often join in when approached, this is obviously not going to be enjoyable unless you like to have a few drinks yourself. When I'm not in the mood, a polite decline with a smile, nuttering something uncomprehensable as an excuse often works (when you can walk away). Sometimes I DO get stuck in a situation I don't want, a long train or bus journey is a prime example. Once a rather intoxicated security officer on a train insisted on reveiling his life story to me (only understood half of it), while everybody sitting behind him was gesturing to me something which seemed to urge me not to indulge the guy and walk away. So I decided on an extended session in the toilet, but, surprise, he was still there on my return! Eventually one of his superiors gave him a right bollocking when he passed on his round. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opothai Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 yep been in that situation, 4 villages have their sports day, great atmosphere bloody good fun all day long, water ballon races, legs tied together races, even get invited to play in the footy match. the final event of the day is the footy final, about 4.30 anyway two very drunk thai lads come up and start chatting, i tell them in thai i can not speak thai, anyway they carry on and i can get the jist they just want some money for beer, for me no problem i give them 100bht as it is a friendly and good day. what a mistake they go tell thier mates then i,m surrounded by about ten all wanting drink money, me i say no then the atmosphere changes rapidly but lucky for me Lek and a couple of his mates are on trucheon duty and sort the situation and the lads go. the lads then are seen over in another tented area causing a little fracas, but by the time we leave an almighty big punch up, bottles as well has started, it was a sad end to a very good day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phuketsiam Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 this isn't limited to Thai men, it happens everwhere, the nutter on the bus syndrome, and no i have no foolproof solution either, although i'm sure sometimes i've been the 'nutter' Say hello back. Seems they (thai men) are damned if they don't (see the "do you have any male thai friends" thread) & damned if they do. dry.gif Boo, i have had freidships with Thai men, but they never last, as a result I retrospectivly considered those 'friends' as aquaintences instead, and judging by my wifes relationship with her 'friends' I would say in general terms that Thai's don't form strong friendships. - Just a thought Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadman Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I've always found that such people are merely trying to be friendly, so I respond in kind. I've also been around the block enough to recognise potential threats and aggravation and to withdraw, although I haven't had this in LOS (lots in UK, though). At the very least, it should be remembered that politeness costs nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 yep been in that situation,4 villages have their sports day, great atmosphere bloody good fun all day long, water ballon races, legs tied together races, even get invited to play in the footy match. the final event of the day is the footy final, about 4.30 anyway two very drunk thai lads come up and start chatting, i tell them in thai i can not speak thai, anyway they carry on and i can get the jist they just want some money for beer, for me no problem i give them 100bht as it is a friendly and good day. what a mistake they go tell thier mates then i,m surrounded by about ten all wanting drink money, me i say no then the atmosphere changes rapidly but lucky for me Lek and a couple of his mates are on trucheon duty and sort the situation and the lads go. the lads then are seen over in another tented area causing a little fracas, but by the time we leave an almighty big punch up, bottles as well has started, it was a sad end to a very good day. opothai That about the worst thing you can do is give them money those two lads will now try that on every farang that ever goes there. Sure buy them a beer while you chat but giving them straight out money is no good. I have had this before from young guys in the village I just tell them I dont have any and walk off. They dont think what a nice guy for giving me money they what a stupid farang giving away money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Talk to them - they are a lot less harmful than the drunks back where I come from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaibebop Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 Why should dealing with drunk Thai men be any different than dealing with a any drunk man? The vibe is wrong you beat feet, otherwise , "Hey, how ya doin'?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opothai Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 yep been in that situation, 4 villages have their sports day, great atmosphere bloody good fun all day long, water ballon races, legs tied together races, even get invited to play in the footy match. the final event of the day is the footy final, about 4.30 anyway two very drunk thai lads come up and start chatting, i tell them in thai i can not speak thai, anyway they carry on and i can get the jist they just want some money for beer, for me no problem i give them 100bht as it is a friendly and good day. what a mistake they go tell thier mates then i,m surrounded by about ten all wanting drink money, me i say no then the atmosphere changes rapidly but lucky for me Lek and a couple of his mates are on trucheon duty and sort the situation and the lads go. the lads then are seen over in another tented area causing a little fracas, but by the time we leave an almighty big punch up, bottles as well has started, it was a sad end to a very good day. opothai That about the worst thing you can do is give them money those two lads will now try that on every farang that ever goes there. Sure buy them a beer while you chat but giving them straight out money is no good. I have had this before from young guys in the village I just tell them I dont have any and walk off. They dont think what a nice guy for giving me money they what a stupid farang giving away money agree rigger when the mrs found out i had my lesson, but it was a good day and you get carried away with the moment, let's face it you think your'e in good company, but how can you tell, i would still do the same if i thought the moment was right, although not to givre them cash. i am wary more so than before but you can not lose faith in human nature and to be suspicious all the time would not be much fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepyjohn Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 "Dealing With Potentially Drunk Thai Men Who Want To Talk, Whats yours ?" Don't understand this title....... .........isn't everyone potentially drunk???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 agree rigger when the mrs found out i had my lesson, but it was a good day and you get carried away with the moment, let's face it you think your'e in good company, but how can you tell, i would still do the same if i thought the moment was right, although not to givre them cash. i am wary more so than before but you can not lose faith in human nature and to be suspicious all the time would not be much fun. Yes I could imagine your wife would not have been impress mine would give me a hard time if I did something like that . If I am sitting and a Thai comes up to me and wants to chat I normally oblige and if he seems OK and I am having a beer I will offer one two same as I would do with a farang. As for groups of Thai men drunk if there the older guys in the village and I am invited I will stop and have a few beers with them. The younger groups I try and steer clear of as they still cant hold there grog and the end of the night always ends in a fight as for total strangers as some one else said it all depends on what the circumstances where When I went home and told my wife that a few guys stopped and asked me for money my wife got really pissed off and want to know who and where it was. Another time the wife overheard a relative saying something about lets go smoke and drink falangs beer the missus meet him half way down the driveway and chased him off down the road yelling at him. Don’t you just love those submissive Thai girls Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mighty Mouse Posted January 20, 2006 Share Posted January 20, 2006 I was once walking through a back lane in Pattaya when approached by a slightly intoxicated old Thai man. He walked towards me and put out his right hand as though he wanted to shake hands with me. I regarded the gesture as an act of friendship. I was carrying shopping parcels at the time and transferred the parcels into my left hand so that I could shake his hand. Just as the handshake was in progress, he threw a left handed punch that impacted on the side of my face. It didn't really hurt but it certainly shocked me. He was an old man, I took it on the chin...so to speak, but since that day I have become wary of intoxicated over-friendly strangers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spit the Dog Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 I would say 'sawatdee khrap', smile, then gradually ignore them and hope that they f##k off rather quickly. If that fails I would either move or humour them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 I'd smile and tell him 'Pom puut passa Thai mai dee' & ask him for a drink in English. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 It has been my experience that, generally, drunken Thai men are a lot more pleasant than drunken Englishmen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boon Mee Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 (edited) It has been my experience that, generally, drunken Thai men are a lot more pleasant than drunken Englishmen. Ra-Wang Ulysses G Edited January 21, 2006 by Boon Mee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khutan Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Well there are a number of ways of looking at this. They are curious and want to talk. They want to have a drink with anyone and are lonley. They want a free drink. Want to practice English. I think most of us have been in one or all of these situations in your own country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
opothai Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Another time the wife overheard a relative saying something about lets go smoke and drink falangs beer the missus meet him half way down the driveway and chased him off down the road yelling at him. Don’t you just love those submissive Thai girls we're having a discussion as falangs about drunk thai men and how we deal with the situation, but the submissive thai wife has zero tolerence and she shows it. mind you when i'm nig noy mao she shows zero tolerence to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Savage Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 I've had 2 situations like this. The first was at a wedding in Lopburi, I was the only farang present so became a sitting duck for the people who wanted to get drunk early and have a drinking buddy (excuse) to get drunk. The thing was I just didn't want to get drunk and more importantly I didn't want to fit the western stereotype of bumbling drinker. The village funny guy spent the morning trying to shove whisky down my throat so I joined him for a couple and then drew the line saying I had to drive the car that day.. The second time was in Prachinburi, a group of Thai lads were calling me over to where they were sitting. Fairly aggressive "you, you" style talking. They were drunk enougth to make me concerned, so I smiled and kept walking right by. I've got drunk with Thai's on many other occasions with no cause for concern. Pretending you don't speak English is a good way to avoid the troublemakers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
backflip Posted January 21, 2006 Share Posted January 21, 2006 Khun Bob, A stranger says, "Hello" to you, and you get ready to run for the hills? What do you think they want from you? Sexual favors, money...why are you so concerned about Thai men? I'm not sure why you are so suspicious of a guy who acts friendly towards you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slim Chance Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Seek psychiatric help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slim Chance Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 OR:…try explaining to them that in your country it is not the custom to be friendly to foreigners,-- especially to ones of a different skin-color and with religious beliefs different than one’s own, and explain that to even be polite to such foreigners is, in your country, to put ones manhood and sexuality in question. If this fails you could call the Tourist Police and try getting them arrested for speaking to a white man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mraitchison Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 A while back I was in my friends restaurant when some local pissed up gangster type started trying to dance beside me. His gf was looking on mortified but didn't do anythin. He then decided to pretend to throw some Muay Thai knees at my chest which was a bit worrying as this was heading towards one of those situations where I was going to have to do something. I had a look around the restaurant to see how busy it was and was I going to get a serious kicking if I cracked the man one. My Thai friend to my right was saying to me that he was ready to back me up and had already phoned some friends who were near by to make a move to the resteraunt. The pissed guy got louder more boisterous and pestered me more. As I stood up with the intention of moving to his table and hopefulyl taking him with me a hand shoved me back into my seat and dragged the pissed up idiot back to his seat. My friend whos restaurant it was had been sitting behind me with is friends all the time waiting to see what I would do about it. He told me later that he didn't want to me to get on the wrong side of the pissed guy as he may cause me problems in the future but he didn't want to stop it because nothing was really happening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rigger Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 (edited) OR:…try explaining to them that in your country it is not the custom to be friendly to foreigners,-- especially to ones of a different skin-color and with religious beliefs different than one’s own, and explain that to even be polite to such foreigners is, in your country, to put ones manhood and sexuality in question.If this fails you could call the Tourist Police and try getting them arrested for speaking to a white man. Are you always such a <deleted> Edited January 22, 2006 by Rigger Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 OR:…try explaining to them that in your country it is not the custom to be friendly to foreigners,-- especially to ones of a different skin-color and with religious beliefs different than one’s own, and explain that to even be polite to such foreigners is, in your country, to put ones manhood and sexuality in question.If this fails you could call the Tourist Police and try getting them arrested for speaking to a white man. Some people don't realize how fortunate we are in Thailand as foriegners, or they are just wooses. If some foriegner with a different skin colour walked into the bars I used to drink in in Leith, Scotland(with the same arrogance as some farang here, or with a beautiful local lady that they could never get), he wouldn't get the locals wanting to practise a language, or ask about how they are enjoying living in Scotland, or where they came from. They would probably be robbed and kicked to <deleted>. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johpa Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 Look people, if you are approached by a drunk Thai man who you do not know, then you best find a way to politely distance yourself from this potential timebomb. Why take the risk of a stranger turning violent, a common occurence amongst Thai drunks. Usually these guys approach a Farang because the Thais nearby have already put some distance, either physical distance or social distance, between themselves and the drunk. My advice does not imply that I don't get drunk with my Thai buddies. Getting drunk with Thai friends is part of the male bonding process in Thailand. As one noted classic anthropologist wrote decades ago regarding rural Thai culture, Thai whiskey is one of the social glues holding together the fabric of Thai society. I know that according to another thread many guy posters here have not made many Thai male friends. But I have a large collection of Thai buddies, some of whom have developed into lifelong close friends, and that friendship was often initially built upon drinking together. My first silly event was to drink with the local Border Police unit in an isolated camp up in the hills on Wan Tamruat, pass out by 4:00PM, and be carried back to my hut unconcious by four of the uniformed members. Some 25 years later I am still friends with a few of those same guys. But these same guys I use to get split faced with ( I can't drink like I use to) , even they avoid and quickly distance themselves from drunk strangers. And so should most of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdnvic Posted January 22, 2006 Share Posted January 22, 2006 I answer in Spanish. "Ola, senor, como esta' usted? Muy bien, gracias. Pienso que su bue se cayo' en la caca." The last sentence roughly says, " I think your buffalo just fell into the manure." Unfortuately I say things like that in spanish when I don't intend to (and Thai, and French, and...) cv Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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