How Did You Meet Your Wife / Girlfriend

[chiang mai]

What happens if you stick everything in your wife's name and you trust her more the anything in the world and have no other reason not to but then, over time, as the years go by, you drift apart she needs to go "find herself" and you end up hating each others guts?

Putting all your assets into her name is as silly as not putting any in. As for the part about drifting apart over time: dont most people reassess these things on a regular basis and when the drifting apart has just begun, readjusted their asset distribution!

[RealisticRon]

What happens if you stick everything in your wife's name and you trust her more the anything in the world and have no other reason not to but then, over time, as the years go by, you drift apart she needs to go "find herself" and you end up hating each others guts?

You get a divorce and come to Thailand.

[Bagwan]

I have a friend who was accosted by a pert, smartly dressed young lady in the street and she asked him if he had a lady friend. When he replied in the negative she offered her services and said that there was no way that he could do better than her. 10 years later they are happily married with two young children. The Miracle of Pattaya?

I gave about 6 ladies who worked in bars, but seemed to be a cut above the others, a try out, initially as housekeepers with their own room, but none of them lasted a week. One was thrown out of the house at a moments notice when I discovered that she had been using yaba. The senior waitress in a favourite restaurant on learning that I did not have a female companion told me that she had just the lady for me - her cousin who had been in Pattaya for only 10 days and didn't have a word of English. After taking them out to dinner the following evening I was told that the quiet lady who had hardly said a word over the meal would be coming home with me. I reluctantly agreed and she has turned out to be a real treasure.

We have been married 10 years and I have hooked her into the UK Social Security system, she now owns 2 farms that members of her family work or else they starve, and is the major shareholder in our Company. Her companionship and her dedication to my welfare has ensured that she has more than earned her rewards and I would (have?) entrusted her with my life. I didn't come to Thailand looking for a wife but am totaly grateful that I have been given one.

Given the not uncommon attitude of Thai ladies i have often wondered if there is some unwritten law that says no farang should be without a lady to take care.

[arthurwait]

Songhua, must admit, it feels like that sometimes. 555

Have you thought about putting the car on bricks instead of tyres ?

[DonW]

Some great posts and stories so far Gents.

I think the absence of posts from the Nay sayers is quite indicative of their motivations from saying NEVER trust a Thai woman.

PS Chanmgai Kelly....met in a Chinese class.

[SlyAnimal]

I'm a teacher, and my fiancé used to be a student at the high school where I teach English.

We met one evening at a reunion/anniversary dinner for our school.

It was very romantic, my fiancé and one of her friends asked for directions to the toilet. While her friend was in the toilet we chatted away and never seemed to run out of things to talk about.

She then invited me to visit her house for lunch every day that week, where we'd chat away for 5-6hours each day.

Every day her mother cooked huge super scrumptious meals, which in an effort to be polite, I'd ensure that I ate every last piece of rice. The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, I was no exception, we got engaged after about a month (and +5kgs) later lol

(Oh and she was never my student, she'd already finished university before I even started teaching at her school lol)

[jaideeguy]

All I can say is that people can and do change and in my own situation, being married to a non bar girl [if that is what the OP was suggesting] for 12 yrs now. My wife has on several occasions came close to doing the 'D' thing and fortunately changed her mind at the last minute because I was [and still am] in danger of loosing more than I can afford to loose.

NEVER expect your relationship to remain in 'honeymoon mode'......PEOPLE CHANGE and often for the worse and ALWAYS be prepared for the worse or as the saying goes......'never invest more than you can afford to walk away from [in LOS]'

[floridaguy]

I met my wife on a rugby pitch. Our first kiss was in a gay bar off Silom a few nights later. We now have two stunning daughters.

We own property in Australia, but never got around to getting anything in Thailand beyond our car. If it was in Thailand, it any land would all be in my name perhaps mixed with my daughters, till my wife's Thai citizenship application came through.

I bet I've confused the crap out of a bunch of you.

Lol. Not at all samran.

You like rugby, frequent gay bars and four of you live in a car.

I laughed my ass off at this. Thanks Songhua!

[Kilgore Trout]

How many people in your country would marry someone then buy a house and put it exclusively in her name?

I reckon the answer is most would not. Therefore, why would they do it in a foreign country?

And btw; met my wife where I work.

[TommoPhysicist]

How many people in your country would marry someone then buy a house and put it exclusively in her name?

I reckon the answer is most would not. Therefore, why would they do it in a foreign country?

And btw; met my wife where I work.

Silly argument, as in our home countries a judge will have no hesitation in changing ownership from him to her.

At least here you know on the day you purchase that it will be hers, and have to sign a form in English agreeing to that.

[Kilgore Trout]

How many people in your country would marry someone then buy a house and put it exclusively in her name?

I reckon the answer is most would not. Therefore, why would they do it in a foreign country?

And btw; met my wife where I work.

Silly argument, as in our home countries a judge will have no hesitation in changing ownership from him to her.

At least here you know on the day you purchase that it will be hers, and have to sign a form in English agreeing to that.

Then there is the OP's answer

And IMHO, mines not such a silly argument, you just helped me prop it up. Thanks

[TommoPhysicist]

And IMHO, mines not such a silly argument, you just helped me prop it up. Thanks

Yes, maybe in the UK/USA/Canada/Australia, you should be forced to sign a paper (on marriage or house purchase) stating that you understand that your house will become hers on divorce. It would save a lot of misunderstandings later in life.

Edited October 5, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[NeverSure]

You can get ripped off in marriage in any country. There's NO way I'm going to do the Thai thing and put a lot of assets in some woman's name. That's IF I get married which I hope I don't. I'm fixed and can't leave any kids behind which I would feel morally obligated to support.

There's NO way any woman is going to get control of any of my assets again, even if it was in the US.

IF I get married in LOS which I doubt, we would rent. Why not? I can't own it anyway. After hearing some horror stories about condo associations, I can't really ever own a condo the way I'm used to owning my home.

If that woman wants to leave me she can walk. If I still like her I'd load up her things and drive he to where she wants to go. I'd probably give her a few thousand baht to get started. There's NO way the bulk of my money is leaving the US except as I need money, and any girlfriend gets a set allowance which I can cut off.

Sorry, but I've gotten cynical. Would I give a couple of thousand baht to parents each month? Yes if I wanted to, but I could cut it off.

If I get entangled with some cute thing, I'll be in a position to walk any time I need to. I've been around too much to get completely under the ether for someone in a country where all of the rules are different.

I repeat the old US joke which I think was a Johnny Carson quip after about his 4th divorce. He said from now on rather than getting married, he was just going to find some woman he hated and buy her a house.

[HardenedSoul]

I live on my wife's farm, it's in her name because it's her farm.

Jeez, why do you guys all marry women who own nothing, then buy them everything?

Hate to say it but, "Spot on, Tommo!"

[TommoPhysicist]

I repeat the old US joke which I think was a Johnny Carson quip after about his 4th divorce. He said from now on rather than getting married, he was just going to find some woman he hated and buy her a house.

I thought it was Rod Stewart, with a woman he 'didn't like very much'

[Kilgore Trout]

And IMHO, mines not such a silly argument, you just helped me prop it up. Thanks

Yes, maybe in the UK/USA/Canada/Australia, you should be forced to sign a paper (on marriage or house purchase) stating that you understand that your house will become hers on divorce. It would save a lot of misunderstandings later in life.

They say women are a lot like hurricanes; they come in wet and wild, then when they're done your house and everything you own is gone.

Edited October 5, 2012 by Kilgore Trout

[chiangmaikelly]

I repeat the old US joke which I think was a Johnny Carson quip after about his 4th divorce. He said from now on rather than getting married, he was just going to find some woman he hated and buy her a house.

I thought it was Rod Stewart, with a woman he 'didn't like very much'

No it was me.

Actually the story had a happy ending. The ex found a guy with ranch, ocean house and another couple of properties, so she gave the house to my daughter who lives there now. I put a lot of work into the house but don't mind as long as my daughter is living there.

Edited October 5, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[NeverSure]

I repeat the old US joke which I think was a Johnny Carson quip after about his 4th divorce. He said from now on rather than getting married, he was just going to find some woman he hated and buy her a house.

I thought it was Rod Stewart, with a woman he 'didn't like very much'

You could be right - I don't remember for sure but the lesson stuck with me.

[samran]

Songhua, must admit, it feels like that sometimes. 555

Have you thought about putting the car on bricks instead of tyres ?

Nothing so low class. Going to whole hog and getting a caravan with a canvas extension.

Lugxure.

[marstons]

What cant go in my name does not get bought, car and motor bikes in my name, house well i would never buy a land where it could not go in my name. I own a house in the UK 100% legally in my name, i rent it out and that more than covers rent on what i rent here.

Was with wife 9 years no hint of trouble but family pressure meant we split, i was suspiciois so i paid truck fianance off early and got it in my name pronto...

Would i put every thing 100% into a parters name at home country NO, especially if the other half has not contibuted a single baht to it. , so why would i do it here. Yes to many horror stories, all is milk and honey for 12-15 years then pop, ya toast without a pot to urinate in.

Edited October 5, 2012 by marstons

[Gweiloman]

It seems that there are a lot of wise men here, looking out for themselves very well and taking good care of their wealth. Don't be surprised to wake up one morning to find that your wife / gf whatever has walked out on you.

Most women, be they Thai, Chinese or farang, look to a man for financial security. They cook for you, wash your clothes, have sex with you - in return, they (rightly) expect that you will (financially) take care of them (and their extended families if that is the culture and tradition of their society). They also expect that you will "invest" in their future financial security when you kick the bucket before them (which in most cases, will happen just because you are older).

I have built a house for my son, wife (and her family). Car is in her name as are the two bikes. I have loaned out 500,000 bht to a close family friend (chanotes with my wife). I have loaned 800,000 bht to her cousin to purchase a pickup for her business. I have also loaned various other people smaller amounts of money. So what happens if she leaves one day or kick me out? I know that my son has more money / property / assets than most of the other kids in the village and that his education is at least secured. I can easily start again, as I did after my divorce from my British wife (I still pay for my other kids' education back in the UK plus various other expenses such as annual holidays to Asia, ski trips to America etc etc).

It's very easy to live this philosophy as long as you believe in karma. Whatever happens to me this life is a result of my previous life and whatever I do in this life will determine my fate in my next life. I know a lot of posters will think me nutters but as of now, I have never been happier with life.

[jbrain]

I have been married to a Thai for a long time and have some difficulty in understanding why anyone would marry someone they clearly don't trust

There are nummerous threads on this board that answer your question, unfortunately most of them are in the News Forum and have condolences through out the thread.

[transam]

Plenty of men in Thailand that shouldnt have trusted in their girlfriends/wives mainly because they were naive idiots that let their small head do the thinking. You wont hear many success stories on this forum as its a place for old farts to vent their spleen. If you are 50 and marry a 22 year old chances are the relationship is not built on anything more than a sad gullible old mans last stand, and a conniving little crumpets greed. In this case buying a house in the other halfs name would not be recommended...and yet you hear the same stories again and again. They will be on here soon enough, telling all and sundry that all Thai women are money grubbing whores, that you cant trust any of them...you read it on here all the time.

Anyway on a more positive note. There are decent women in any country( along with a smaller pool of bad ones with a steady supply of idiots to prey on). I trust my wife and her family as much as I would if she were born in my own country, its no different. I choose to associate with decent people, I have a good bullshit detector. If you are a naive that goes there to find love in a bar then you reap what you sow.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, well, l would put you at the top of my list to come unstuck, dumped.

Why, your attitude. You think your no.1, NOBODY, farang, is no.1

[DrTuner]

I met her after reading the first version of this thread some years ago. Is it already the short skirt season or has the order of perpetually appearing threads changed ?

[pigeonjake]

i dont think it matter what you put on this thred,

not trying to de-rail it far from it,

but if i say i met my wife when she was a promotions lady for san miguel bear,and didnt speak a word of english, i would get called a lier,

if on the other hand i said , yea i met her in a bar,

then i would get called a fool and she would shaft me,

so as i see it i cant bloody win,,lol

so ill just say, im very happy with my lot,

jake

[DonW]

There's NO way I'm going to do the Thai thing and put a lot of assets in some woman's name. That's IF I get married which I

You may want to reconsider marrying 'some woman'.

[DonW]

It seems that there are a lot of wise men here, looking out for themselves very well and taking good care of their wealth. Don't be surprised to wake up one morning to find that your wife / gf whatever has walked out on you.

Most women, be they Thai, Chinese or farang, look to a man for financial security. They cook for you, wash your clothes, have sex with you - in return, they (rightly) expect that you will (financially) take care of them (and their extended families if that is the culture and tradition of their society). They also expect that you will "invest" in their future financial security when you kick the bucket before them (which in most cases, will happen just because you are older).

I have built a house for my son, wife (and her family). Car is in her name as are the two bikes. I have loaned out 500,000 bht to a close family friend (chanotes with my wife). I have loaned 800,000 bht to her cousin to purchase a pickup for her business. I have also loaned various other people smaller amounts of money. So what happens if she leaves one day or kick me out? I know that my son has more money / property / assets than most of the other kids in the village and that his education is at least secured. I can easily start again, as I did after my divorce from my British wife (I still pay for my other kids' education back in the UK plus various other expenses such as annual holidays to Asia, ski trips to America etc etc).

It's very easy to live this philosophy as long as you believe in karma. Whatever happens to me this life is a result of my previous life and whatever I do in this life will determine my fate in my next life. I know a lot of posters will think me nutters but as of now, I have never been happier with life.

With all due respect, why have you loaned out so much money to so many people? Would you have done this in the UK, Its beyond me as I work to the rule never lending money to friends and family whatever their nationality is.

[Bramdaddy]

The land I built on was my sister-in-law's land. Now it's in my daughter's name. The house I built is also in my Thai daughter's name. We built right next to my wife's parent's house. Have known them for 3 years and I trust them. My marriage is solid.

[Issam rider]

Plenty of men in Thailand that shouldnt have trusted in their girlfriends/wives mainly because they were naive idiots that let their small head do the thinking. You wont hear many success stories on this forum as its a place for old farts to vent their spleen. If you are 50 and marry a 22 year old chances are the relationship is not built on anything more than a sad gullible old mans last stand, and a conniving little crumpets greed. In this case buying a house in the other halfs name would not be recommended...and yet you hear the same stories again and again. They will be on here soon enough, telling all and sundry that all Thai women are money grubbing whores, that you cant trust any of them...you read it on here all the time.

Anyway on a more positive note. There are decent women in any country( along with a smaller pool of bad ones with a steady supply of idiots to prey on). I trust my wife and her family as much as I would if she were born in my own country, its no different. I choose to associate with decent people, I have a good bullshit detector. If you are a naive that goes there to find love in a bar then you reap what you sow.

met my 1st wife in a bar she was English and took me to the cleaners wonder how many people met there falang wife ex wife in a bar same tent different desert

[Chittychangchang]

Married to wife for 10 years, lot's of kids since. Ups and downs but on the whole the best decision i ever made coming to Thailand and marrying my wife i only new her for 3 weeks before we signed the paper.