How Did You Meet Your Wife / Girlfriend

[Yooyung]

So you were taken to the cleaners by a woman you met in a bar in London.....

Maybe she was the kind of woman that was going to take anyone to the cleaners come divorce time? How does that relate to some naive old fart of 50 / 60 marrying a 22 year old Thai prostitute and actually thinking its true love? Maybe I am the naive one but meeting women in bars in london really cant be compared to specifically going into a go go bar in Bangkok and thinking a working girl is genuinelly interested in you for your personality? Some actually do and I call that pure stupidity, am I wrong?

[chiangmaikelly]

So you were taken to the cleaners by a woman you met in a bar in London.....

Maybe she was the kind of woman that was going to take anyone to the cleaners come divorce time? How does that relate to some naive old fart of 50 / 60 marrying a 22 year old Thai prostitute and actually thinking its true love? Maybe I am the naive one but meeting women in bars in london really cant be compared to specifically going into a go go bar in Bangkok and thinking a working girl is genuinelly interested in you for your personality? Some actually do and I call that pure stupidity, am I wrong?

Of course you are wrong and stupid and ageist.

It is mostly young guys that get taken by the Thai girls. Check out the thread here about clothes washing.

The difference between a go go girl and a Lotus girl is 50,000 a month pay check and dancing ability.

[TommoPhysicist]

So you were taken to the cleaners by a woman you met in a bar in London.....

Maybe she was the kind of woman that was going to take anyone to the cleaners come divorce time? How does that relate to some naive old fart of 50 / 60 marrying a 22 year old Thai prostitute and actually thinking its true love? Maybe I am the naive one but meeting women in bars in london really cant be compared to specifically going into a go go bar in Bangkok and thinking a working girl is genuinelly interested in you for your personality? Some actually do and I call that pure stupidity, am I wrong?

You are wrong in thinking you are any different to an old man/young woman combination.

It's all the same game.

[Yooyung]

Agreed, people of all ages can be naive. Its just a little more sad when its a more mature person that really should know better. A 20 something broke english teacher getting his undies washed by a Lotus girl sounds like fun. A 50 something male getting kicked out of the house he paid for in his dodgey wifes name sounds like sheer stupidity.

[chiangmaikelly]

Agreed, people of all ages can be naive. Its just a little more sad when its a more mature person that really should know better. A 20 something broke english teacher getting his undies washed by a Lotus girl sounds like fun. A 50 something male getting kicked out of the house he paid for in his dodgey wifes name sounds like sheer stupidity.

You are missing the point of difference. There are 10 threads a week noting how stupid old men are in Thailand posted here on Thai Visa.

The whole thing is a cliché, stereotyped and not true. There is one dumb old guy for every 100 dumb young guys.

But if you look at those numbers you can see why Thai Visa is successful.

Edited October 6, 2012 by chiangmaikelly

[chiang mai]

So many combinations here, the younger guys like to call the older ones fools but they simply haven't learnt yet, they will in time.

But then there's the angle of who sees what, I reckon that for every 100 male visitors to Thailand, something like 90 of them will only ever really see the bars of Pattaya and Phuket and many if not most of them will get ripped off. So it doesn't matter that the likes of the earlier posters talk about their loving and caring relationships, the masses expect you to be ripped off if you're in a relationship with aThai female, after all they were!

And then there's the jaded sector, after a failed long term relationship back home their one time loving spouse took them to the cleaners hence now any woman is bad news, financially speaking, and it's here that the phrase, "don't invest more in Thailand than you can afford to loose" was born. Let's not forget though that a number of us made significant profits by transfering all our assets to Thailand at a time when our home currency was in metdown! Never they cry, that couldn't possibly have happened, farangs only loose money in Thailand and never make any, they are after all only walking ATM's, sadly for many that's all they will ever be!

[TommoPhysicist]

And then there's the jaded sector, after a failed long term relationship back home their one time loving spouse took them to the cleaners hence now any woman is bad news, financially speaking, and it's here that the phrase, "don't invest more in Thailand than you can afford to loose" was born.

Could we change that phrase to "don't invest more in your wife than you can afford to lose"

That's much more realistic and works worldwide.

or a more PC version of said phrase .....

"don't invest more in your marriage, than you can afford to lose in your divorce"

Edited October 6, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[carmine]

My thai wife was just finishing her doctorate at Harvard when we met.

[whoppe78]

well i met my partner 8yrs ago in a sleezy bar in Chiang Mai.

Immediately saw that she was an angel fish in a turd bowl, so yanked her out of it pronto..

now we're happier than ever & everything is in her name.

I relate to your story and I have my GF the same way.At first we had our differences,our age for one and different cultures, but 6 years later we closer than ever.She and her family tried to milk me and they did a little but I learned from my mistakes and now they don't ask for so much.All we have now is a used car in her name and a couple scooters,2 dogs and we live on her land in remodeled uncles house in Surin.

[Gweiloman]

It seems that there are a lot of wise men here, looking out for themselves very well and taking good care of their wealth. Don't be surprised to wake up one morning to find that your wife / gf whatever has walked out on you.

Most women, be they Thai, Chinese or farang, look to a man for financial security. They cook for you, wash your clothes, have sex with you - in return, they (rightly) expect that you will (financially) take care of them (and their extended families if that is the culture and tradition of their society). They also expect that you will "invest" in their future financial security when you kick the bucket before them (which in most cases, will happen just because you are older).

I have built a house for my son, wife (and her family). Car is in her name as are the two bikes. I have loaned out 500,000 bht to a close family friend (chanotes with my wife). I have loaned 800,000 bht to her cousin to purchase a pickup for her business. I have also loaned various other people smaller amounts of money. So what happens if she leaves one day or kick me out? I know that my son has more money / property / assets than most of the other kids in the village and that his education is at least secured. I can easily start again, as I did after my divorce from my British wife (I still pay for my other kids' education back in the UK plus various other expenses such as annual holidays to Asia, ski trips to America etc etc).

It's very easy to live this philosophy as long as you believe in karma. Whatever happens to me this life is a result of my previous life and whatever I do in this life will determine my fate in my next life. I know a lot of posters will think me nutters but as of now, I have never been happier with life.

With all due respect, why have you loaned out so much money to so many people? Would you have done this in the UK, Its beyond me as I work to the rule never lending money to friends and family whatever their nationality is.

To whom one lends money depends very much on the debtor. In the first case, this is a middle aged couple who through just farming, have put both their daughters through university. They don't smoke, drink or gamble. I have stayed in their house many times whilst mine was being built. She is also my son's nanny. Their land was mortgaged with the local takasol bank and also with SCB bank and paying, whilst not extortionate interest, was much higher than what I would consider normal commercial rates. I took the decision to lend them at half the rates they were paying which was still a much better return than I would be getting from any bank anywhere in the world. I have the chanotes in hand should it be necessary (though I hope not).

In the case of the cousin, she is running quite a successful feed distribution business. I have seen where the profits have gone - a 3 rai piece of land with two houses built on it, a small house of worship etc. She is divorced and the sole provider for her elderly mother, a young daughter and a young nephew (whose father is one of those hopeless ones we read about all the time). The pickup is to expand the business. It's not easy for someone like her to cough up Bht800k to purchase a pickup outright and interest rates are criminal. Once again, I step in with a win win proposition - cheaper interest for her, better interest for me compared to what I can get from the banks.

However, the main purpose is twofold - one is to help out those who are deserving and less fortunate than me (and I can afford to walk away if that is the case) and the second is to improve my son's future. I believe that what goes around comes around. Whatever help and assistance I can give while I still can, will reap itself to my son's benefit somewhere down the road.

I find in all these, that sometimes, giving can be as rewarding and satisfying in receiving. However, I understand that this is not for all.

[DonW]

Plenty of men in Thailand that shouldnt have trusted in their girlfriends/wives mainly because they were naive idiots that let their small head do the thinking. You wont hear many success stories on this forum as its a place for old farts to vent their spleen. If you are 50 and marry a 22 year old chances are the relationship is not built on anything more than a sad gullible old mans last stand, and a conniving little crumpets greed. In this case buying a house in the other halfs name would not be recommended...and yet you hear the same stories again and again. They will be on here soon enough, telling all and sundry that all Thai women are money grubbing whores, that you cant trust any of them...you read it on here all the time.

Anyway on a more positive note. There are decent women in any country( along with a smaller pool of bad ones with a steady supply of idiots to prey on). I trust my wife and her family as much as I would if she were born in my own country, its no different. I choose to associate with decent people, I have a good bullshit detector. If you are a naive that goes there to find love in a bar then you reap what you sow.

met my 1st wife in a bar she was English and took me to the cleaners wonder how many people met there falang wife ex wife in a bar same tent different desert

Be difference to being a customer in the bar and being in a prostitute Oranges and apples.

[DonW]

It seems that there are a lot of wise men here, looking out for themselves very well and taking good care of their wealth. Don't be surprised to wake up one morning to find that your wife / gf whatever has walked out on you.

Most women, be they Thai, Chinese or farang, look to a man for financial security. They cook for you, wash your clothes, have sex with you - in return, they (rightly) expect that you will (financially) take care of them (and their extended families if that is the culture and tradition of their society). They also expect that you will "invest" in their future financial security when you kick the bucket before them (which in most cases, will happen just because you are older).

I have built a house for my son, wife (and her family). Car is in her name as are the two bikes. I have loaned out 500,000 bht to a close family friend (chanotes with my wife). I have loaned 800,000 bht to her cousin to purchase a pickup for her business. I have also loaned various other people smaller amounts of money. So what happens if she leaves one day or kick me out? I know that my son has more money / property / assets than most of the other kids in the village and that his education is at least secured. I can easily start again, as I did after my divorce from my British wife (I still pay for my other kids' education back in the UK plus various other expenses such as annual holidays to Asia, ski trips to America etc etc).

It's very easy to live this philosophy as long as you believe in karma. Whatever happens to me this life is a result of my previous life and whatever I do in this life will determine my fate in my next life. I know a lot of posters will think me nutters but as of now, I have never been happier with life.

With all due respect, why have you loaned out so much money to so many people? Would you have done this in the UK, Its beyond me as I work to the rule never lending money to friends and family whatever their nationality is.

To whom one lends money depends very much on the debtor. In the first case, this is a middle aged couple who through just farming, have put both their daughters through university. They don't smoke, drink or gamble. I have stayed in their house many times whilst mine was being built. She is also my son's nanny. Their land was mortgaged with the local takasol bank and also with SCB bank and paying, whilst not extortionate interest, was much higher than what I would consider normal commercial rates. I took the decision to lend them at half the rates they were paying which was still a much better return than I would be getting from any bank anywhere in the world. I have the chanotes in hand should it be necessary (though I hope not).

In the case of the cousin, she is running quite a successful feed distribution business. I have seen where the profits have gone - a 3 rai piece of land with two houses built on it, a small house of worship etc. She is divorced and the sole provider for her elderly mother, a young daughter and a young nephew (whose father is one of those hopeless ones we read about all the time). The pickup is to expand the business. It's not easy for someone like her to cough up Bht800k to purchase a pickup outright and interest rates are criminal. Once again, I step in with a win win proposition - cheaper interest for her, better interest for me compared to what I can get from the banks.

However, the main purpose is twofold - one is to help out those who are deserving and less fortunate than me (and I can afford to walk away if that is the case) and the second is to improve my son's future. I believe that what goes around comes around. Whatever help and assistance I can give while I still can, will reap itself to my son's benefit somewhere down the road.

I find in all these, that sometimes, giving can be as rewarding and satisfying in receiving. However, I understand that this is not for all.

Great post, good insight and no doubt a guy that would be a joy to share a beer with. Good on you.

[jacktrip]

if you have no hesitation putting it in your wifes name why do you keep posing the question?

is obviously not about us.

[transam]

My wife was a prison guard that brought me my gruel twice a day, which l lapped up.

She thought, hmmmmm, this guy will be cheap to keep and feed, the rest is history. .........

[F1fanatic]

And then there's the jaded sector, after a failed long term relationship back home their one time loving spouse took them to the cleaners hence now any woman is bad news, financially speaking, and it's here that the phrase, "don't invest more in Thailand than you can afford to loose" was born.

Could we change that phrase to "don't invest more in your wife than you can afford to lose"

That's much more realistic and works worldwide.

or a more PC version of said phrase .....

"don't invest more in your marriage, than you can afford to lose in your divorce"

No, chiang mai is right in my experience.

My ex-husband and I lost most of our money on a land lease.

[DrTuner]

My wife was a buddhist nun but upon seeing me in my tight lederhosen while mongering on Buddha Hill in Pattaya she immediately converted and threw herself in my arms. Her mother-in-law handwashes my clothes now and sister-in-law takes care of my continuous beer supply. Relatives pop by once in a while to bring me some Johnny Black. Oh how I hate Thailand.

[nietzche]

Honest, non-judgmental answer.

yep.. honesty is not something you'll encounter much on this forum when asking such a question.

I think you need to ask yourself a very simple question:

If you were married to a woman in your home country, would you put the house you lived in together solely in her name?

If the answer is yes, then by all means proceed.

It does not so much matter whether your wife is Thai, English, etc. More of a question of "What type of person is she"?

If you met her in a bar in Pattaya or the relationship has predominantly centered around money then I would advise against it.

I will still never understand the need for western men to buy a house in this country. Why invest your hard earned cash in a place that does not recognize your right to ownership?

If you already own a house in your home country, then rent it out and use those funds to pay the rent on a house over here. You achieve the same end, but without all the worries of losing your investment.

Owning a house is redundant if you don't actually own it.

[chiangmaikelly]

Honest, non-judgmental answer.

yep.. honesty is not something you'll encounter much on this forum when asking such a question.

I think you need to ask yourself a very simple question:

If you were married to a woman in your home country, would you put the house you lived in together solely in her name?

If the answer is yes, then by all means proceed.

It does not so much matter whether your wife is Thai, English, etc. More of a question of "What type of person is she"?

If you met her in a bar in Pattaya or the relationship has predominantly centered around money then I would advise against it.

I will still never understand the need for western men to buy a house in this country. Why invest your hard earned cash in a place that does not recognize your right to ownership?

If you already own a house in your home country, then rent it out and use those funds to pay the rent on a house over here. You achieve the same end, but without all the worries of losing your investment.

Owning a house is redundant if you don't actually own it.

What difference does it make in your home country who owns the house when you get a divorce?

[nietzche]

Honest, non-judgmental answer.

yep.. honesty is not something you'll encounter much on this forum when asking such a question.

I think you need to ask yourself a very simple question:

If you were married to a woman in your home country, would you put the house you lived in together solely in her name?

If the answer is yes, then by all means proceed.

It does not so much matter whether your wife is Thai, English, etc. More of a question of "What type of person is she"?

If you met her in a bar in Pattaya or the relationship has predominantly centered around money then I would advise against it.

I will still never understand the need for western men to buy a house in this country. Why invest your hard earned cash in a place that does not recognize your right to ownership?

If you already own a house in your home country, then rent it out and use those funds to pay the rent on a house over here. You achieve the same end, but without all the worries of losing your investment.

Owning a house is redundant if you don't actually own it.

What difference does it make in your home country who owns the house when you get a divorce?

It depends where your "home" country is?

[chiangmaikelly]

yep.. honesty is not something you'll encounter much on this forum when asking such a question.

I think you need to ask yourself a very simple question:

If you were married to a woman in your home country, would you put the house you lived in together solely in her name?

If the answer is yes, then by all means proceed.

It does not so much matter whether your wife is Thai, English, etc. More of a question of "What type of person is she"?

If you met her in a bar in Pattaya or the relationship has predominantly centered around money then I would advise against it.

I will still never understand the need for western men to buy a house in this country. Why invest your hard earned cash in a place that does not recognize your right to ownership?

If you already own a house in your home country, then rent it out and use those funds to pay the rent on a house over here. You achieve the same end, but without all the worries of losing your investment.

Owning a house is redundant if you don't actually own it.

What difference does it make in your home country who owns the house when you get a divorce?

It depends where your "home" country is?

US, UK and Australia will be enough.

[nickmanchester2]

as almost 1 in 2 marriages in the UK end in divorce, then why would I want to put a house in the wifes name in my home country, let alone Thailand where I would have much less chance of getting half the cash back?

[nietzche]

In response to post#80

Depends on many factors, like; is the property a marital property, was it aquired before or after the marrige, is it the sole residence, what is the financial postitions of both parties, was there "consideration" from the opposing party and to what extent?

Probably better if you detail the exact circumstances.

Btw, you do know that the US, Australia and the U.K. have different legal systems?

[chiangmaikelly]

In response to post#80

Depends on many factors, like; is the property a marital property, was it aquired before or after the marrige, is it the sole residence, what is the financial postitions of both parties, was there "consideration" from the opposing party and to what extent?

Probably better if you detail the exact circumstances.

Btw, you do know that the US, Australia and the U.K. have different legal systems?

Yes, in the US they ask your wife how much she wants in dollars, in the UK pounds and Australia in Aussie dollars.

[Gweiloman]

It seems that there are a lot of wise men here, looking out for themselves very well and taking good care of their wealth. Don't be surprised to wake up one morning to find that your wife / gf whatever has walked out on you.

Most women, be they Thai, Chinese or farang, look to a man for financial security. They cook for you, wash your clothes, have sex with you - in return, they (rightly) expect that you will (financially) take care of them (and their extended families if that is the culture and tradition of their society). They also expect that you will "invest" in their future financial security when you kick the bucket before them (which in most cases, will happen just because you are older).

I have built a house for my son, wife (and her family). Car is in her name as are the two bikes. I have loaned out 500,000 bht to a close family friend (chanotes with my wife). I have loaned 800,000 bht to her cousin to purchase a pickup for her business. I have also loaned various other people smaller amounts of money. So what happens if she leaves one day or kick me out? I know that my son has more money / property / assets than most of the other kids in the village and that his education is at least secured. I can easily start again, as I did after my divorce from my British wife (I still pay for my other kids' education back in the UK plus various other expenses such as annual holidays to Asia, ski trips to America etc etc).

It's very easy to live this philosophy as long as you believe in karma. Whatever happens to me this life is a result of my previous life and whatever I do in this life will determine my fate in my next life. I know a lot of posters will think me nutters but as of now, I have never been happier with life.

With all due respect, why have you loaned out so much money to so many people? Would you have done this in the UK, Its beyond me as I work to the rule never lending money to friends and family whatever their nationality is.

To whom one lends money depends very much on the debtor. In the first case, this is a middle aged couple who through just farming, have put both their daughters through university. They don't smoke, drink or gamble. I have stayed in their house many times whilst mine was being built. She is also my son's nanny. Their land was mortgaged with the local takasol bank and also with SCB bank and paying, whilst not extortionate interest, was much higher than what I would consider normal commercial rates. I took the decision to lend them at half the rates they were paying which was still a much better return than I would be getting from any bank anywhere in the world. I have the chanotes in hand should it be necessary (though I hope not).

In the case of the cousin, she is running quite a successful feed distribution business. I have seen where the profits have gone - a 3 rai piece of land with two houses built on it, a small house of worship etc. She is divorced and the sole provider for her elderly mother, a young daughter and a young nephew (whose father is one of those hopeless ones we read about all the time). The pickup is to expand the business. It's not easy for someone like her to cough up Bht800k to purchase a pickup outright and interest rates are criminal. Once again, I step in with a win win proposition - cheaper interest for her, better interest for me compared to what I can get from the banks.

However, the main purpose is twofold - one is to help out those who are deserving and less fortunate than me (and I can afford to walk away if that is the case) and the second is to improve my son's future. I believe that what goes around comes around. Whatever help and assistance I can give while I still can, will reap itself to my son's benefit somewhere down the road.

I find in all these, that sometimes, giving can be as rewarding and satisfying in receiving. However, I understand that this is not for all.

Great post, good insight and no doubt a guy that would be a joy to share a beer with. Good on you.

Sure thing. First round's on me !

[Rob8891]

In response to post#80

Depends on many factors, like; is the property a marital property, was it aquired before or after the marrige, is it the sole residence, what is the financial postitions of both parties, was there "consideration" from the opposing party and to what extent?

Probably better if you detail the exact circumstances.

Btw, you do know that the US, Australia and the U.K. have different legal systems?

Yes, in the US they ask your wife how much she wants in dollars, in the UK pounds and Australia in Aussie dollars.

......and no, because she still gets the <deleted> lion's share no matter where the court is!! .....but hey! I'm not bitter.....

[nietzche]

In response to post#80

Depends on many factors, like; is the property a marital property, was it aquired before or after the marrige, is it the sole residence, what is the financial postitions of both parties, was there "consideration" from the opposing party and to what extent?

Probably better if you detail the exact circumstances.

Btw, you do know that the US, Australia and the U.K. have different legal systems?

Yes, in the US they ask your wife how much she wants in dollars, in the UK pounds and Australia in Aussie dollars.

I guess the question you started got a little out of your hands, hence the childlike follow up

[Rob8891]

In response to post#80

Depends on many factors, like; is the property a marital property, was it aquired before or after the marrige, is it the sole residence, what is the financial postitions of both parties, was there "consideration" from the opposing party and to what extent?

Probably better if you detail the exact circumstances.

Btw, you do know that the US, Australia and the U.K. have different legal systems?

Yes, in the US they ask your wife how much she wants in dollars, in the UK pounds and Australia in Aussie dollars.

I guess the question you started got a little out of your hands, hence the childlike follow up

What an unnecessarily rude and arrogant response. What is the point of that? Do you somehow feel better when you attack someone else? Insecurity complex?

BTW Your own question was incredibly stupid. Do you REALLY think that only you are smart enough to know that the US, Australian and UK systems are different? DUH! The UK has at least TWO, because there is scots law and english law, with many differences. I dare say that different US and Australian systems also exist, but I will not be so arrogant as to assume I know the answer to that.

I so want to call you an a$$hole, but I will not, as that would be like asking for a posting holiday.

I LOVE the smell of hypocrisy in the morning.

[Issam rider]

So you were taken to the cleaners by a woman you met in a bar in London.....

Maybe she was the kind of woman that was going to take anyone to the cleaners come divorce time? How does that relate to some naive old fart of 50 / 60 marrying a 22 year old Thai prostitute and actually thinking its true love? Maybe I am the naive one but meeting women in bars in london really cant be compared to specifically going into a go go bar in Bangkok and thinking a working girl is genuinelly interested in you for your personality? Some actually do and I call that pure stupidity, am I wrong?

English girl bar Sydney night mare marriage Thai lady to date wonderful marriage wonderfully children point being you can never truly judge a book by its cover and its not till you get into it and spend an amount of time with someone you can get to know them regardless of we're you met.In brief your right but also wrong some times it works sometimes it doesn't the oldest lottery in town .

[Mozambique]

My wife was a buddhist nun but upon seeing me in my tight lederhosen while mongering on Buddha Hill in Pattaya she immediately converted and threw herself in my arms. Her mother-in-law handwashes my clothes now and sister-in-law takes care of my continuous beer supply. Relatives pop by once in a while to bring me some Johnny Black. Oh how I hate Thailand.

What a lame attempt at humor.

[Rob8891]

My wife was a buddhist nun but upon seeing me in my tight lederhosen while mongering on Buddha Hill in Pattaya she immediately converted and threw herself in my arms. Her mother-in-law handwashes my clothes now and sister-in-law takes care of my continuous beer supply. Relatives pop by once in a while to bring me some Johnny Black. Oh how I hate Thailand.

What a lame attempt at humor.

Jeez! How many times do you need to be told not to use irony on the inmates, Dr T?? They just don't get it!!