Khun, Rak Khun Vs Rak Ther

[sb1983]

Probably this question arise here many times already but I want to clarify one more thing.

My girlfriend usually say 'chan rak khun', she speak same when we are alone, or her both kids are near and can hear everything. Is there any real difference between 'chan rak khun' and 'chan rak ther' (ฉันรักเธอ)?

While we were together with her and her family in the temple, monk ask her about me, she (or her mother, I don't remember) told him something like puan ngan เพื่อนงาน maybe I heard that not correct but that was very similar. Does it mean anything or not?

Sometimes my friend call me 'khun MyName', for example 'happy birthday khun MyName'. What is it, some kind of joke or what? Maybe she wants to show the distance?

[rgs2001uk]

Rak ter usually refers to a man talking about a woman.

เพื่อนงาน is a work mate or a friend from the workplace.

Calling you khun your name is showing respect or maybe she is joking in a lighthearted way with you.

[kikenyoy]

Forgive me if I'm mistaken, but another possibility for เพื่อนงาน could be "เพื่องาน" as in, she is a bargirl (or something similar) who is with you "for work".

It's a bit unclear in your last paragraph, but if your girlfriend refers to you as คุณ____ then that's a bad sign. It isn't something one to say to/about someone they love. It's a prefix that shows respect, but it isn't intimate at all. It shows emotional distance like you said.

[naboo]

It's a bit unclear in your last paragraph, but if your girlfriend refers to you as คุณ____ then that's a bad sign. It isn't something one to say to/about someone they love. It's a prefix that shows respect, but it isn't intimate at all. It shows emotional distance like you said.

A step up from being referred to as 'Farang' though! All is not lost.

[DrTuner]

I generally tend to rely on actions more than spoken words, which I'd recommend the OP as well.

But since asked, it's also up to what the speaker is used to and her upbringing. I find the khun thing just as ackward as the German Sie-word, being a half cave man. But both are extensively used by "the better people" when addressing each other.

Family calls me phoow (dad) or pee and wife, if she's all soft and mushy uses the ther (seems it's ok for men to say kha and women khraphom when really stretching it, once I thought our doc was katoy because he used kha when talking with my wife, but he was just being nice). At that point I invariably ask her what she wants, as she knows I don't like the pink cotton candy sweetness stuff. I relate it to some puppy love stuff.

Edited October 9, 2012 by DrTuner

[sb1983]

Thanks everybody for the replies

I found our first emails (> 1.5 years ago) and saw that she wrote 'ther' rather than 'khun' sometimes, for example ฉันสามารถคุยกับเธอได้ทุกวัน

Regarding to 'khun', she told me that it's such type of a joke. She tell it like 'khun Name kha' and smile. Her English is not perfect (mine as well), so she unable to explain it good enough for me. I had previously asked about my another Thai friend about addressing 'khun Name' to me from gf, she spoke English better than me, but she told that she don't understand why my girlfriend call me khun sometimes. Maybe she was jealous because I keep distance with her and love my girlfriend and never cheated her, so I decided to create this topic to understand Thai language better

[TommoPhysicist]

ter

Used between young people (couples) of similar ages who know each other well, intimate and informal.

(watch any Thai pop videos, usually ter)

khun

used between more mature people, or used by a younger woman to address her older lover, more formal and correct.

[Briggsy]

Where I live there are many university student couples and they always seem to มึง and กู. Will they เธอ as they get older? And then คุณ as they get older still?

Edited October 10, 2012 by Briggsy

[TommoPhysicist]

Where I live there are many university student couples and they always seem to มึง and กู. Will they เธอ as they get older? And then คุณ as they get older still?

Used between close friends of the same sex or gang members only, OK wa!.

Edited October 10, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Tim207]

Where I live there are many university student couples and they always seem to มึง and กู. Will they เธอ as they get older? And then คุณ as they get older still?

Used between close friends of the same sex or gang members only, OK wa!.

Or my sister-in-law talking to her husband on the phone when she is REALLY angry at him.

[Briggsy]

I appreciate your replies but I am referring to couples i.e. boyfriend and girlfriend, who use the first and second person pronouns, มึง and กู habitually.

They are not the same sex.

They are at one of Thailand's top universities and would have had to study hard and pass the Entrance Exam so they are not from the criminal class.

They are not using these words only when worked up, they are using them routinely.

My question is as they get older, will these pronouns alter over time presuming they still communicate to each other?

[sb1983]

got a reply from Thai language teacher http://www.facebook.com/learnthaiwithmod/posts/289316884510578

[asdecas]

My take on your question "puan ngan เพื่อนงาน" is that, when your girlfriend was talking to the monk (or her Mum - quite a difference), she explains to him/her that the two of your are เพื่อนกัน, not เพื่อนงาน - workmates. In other words she is saying you are just friends. She may say this for a variety of reasons relating to her position in relation to the listener, to not wishing to have her relationship with you be delved into, and so on.

[n00b]

Well Thai has no pronounced r endings, even if the word ended on ร which เธอ does not. It would be more correctly transcribed as "toe" if you don't have access to letters like ɤ/ø/ə in which case you could write təə, tøø or tɤɤ

[Tanaka]

Rak ter usually refers to a man talking about a woman.

เพื่อนงาน is a work mate or a friend from the workplace.

Calling you khun your name is showing respect or maybe she is joking in a lighthearted way with you.

This is correct. If I, as a man, say (pom) rak ther it means I love her. Not the same as rak khun, I love you. If you say rak ther to your gf or wife, she may just be upset or confused.

[krisb]

khun is for older people.

ther is younger people.

[JaiRaiJaiDee]

Hmmm, well, that's all clear now.

Good thread sarcasm aside. Had a similar question on the subject. It sounds like (most things) - context is the crucial defining element.