Please Tell Me What's Up With A 41 Year Old Beautiful Thai Who's Never Been Married?

[NeverSure]

Please tell me what's up with a 41 year old beautiful educated Thai who's never been married?

OK, you folks know the culture better than I do. She has a master's degree and is a public school teacher in rural Thailand.

Is she impregnable, inconceivable, unbearable, unembeddable, impenetrable, insurmountable, impeccable, inscrutable, ineffable, er, can't have kids or doesn't like men, or sex or...? She doesn't want children.

Seriously. Where does she fit into Thai culture? What's up with that? Is she to be avoided by a Farang? Would she be avoided by Thai men? From what age if so?

She sure as heck doesn't want a Thai man in her life for her own reasons.

I'd really appreciate knowing whatever pops into your mind. Pay no attention to my little play for you wordsmiths. I really want some thoughts on this. ?? Thanks!

[rizla]

Has she had her bits removed....maybe started out as a him..better check...

[theblether]

First impression?

She's just not interested.........marriage isn't for everybody, and maybe she just wants to be who she is, a beautiful, educated, independent school teacher.

I say good on her, as long as she's happy

[smokie36]

Never met the right man....

[David48]

1/ ...

2/ Fiercely independent

[theblether]

My lady has 4 best pals who range from being very pretty to stunning.......all 4 of them are 31, and none of them are married. One owns her own confectionery business, another is an exec, another is a sales rep for Toyota, the fourth I'm not sure, I think she works in an estate agency.

My lady, who calls them the Old Girls, ( she's 30 ), says that they have got plenty of men to choose from, but they can't trust them.

There's a new generation of Thai girls coming through that don't need men financially.......so if they can't get the right guy, they'll go without. Bridget Jones Thai style? maybe.......but I would say better that than being in a loveless relationship with a guy that runs to a Mia Noi every 5 minutes.

Just sayin'

[MAJIC]

Perhaps she values her freedom more than anything else in life?

[nottocus]

Carpet muncher?

[NeverSure]

Carpet muncher?

I thought about that, or too independent. So why would she be on the internet two or three times a day for a year, looking for a farang? ??

[pigeonjake]

i think in england we used to call them spinsters,

same as some men want to stay bachelers,

as the thais say, UP TO HER

[Rob8891]

The world is getting smaller: improved communications via the internet driving this more than anything else. Assuming we can accept the global village premise, might it be feasible that some thai women are starting to follow the same path as some of their counterparts in the west, where they put their career before having a family? It is then not such a large step to suggest that maybe the career path is of more interest to them than marriage.

There may well be nothing "wrong" with the lady in question. She may be focused and determined, a trait that some men do not find attractive. some of the earlier posters have given other plausible reasons too. It struck me that there could be a 'dark' reason: maybe something bad happened to her in the past, and that could cause her to be wary of males.

There is only one way to find out.... If the lady in question means something to you, then you need to talk.... quietly and gently. Then you will know for sure.

£0.02.

[walt]

It is clearly impossible to say for any particular person since the Thais are usually so uniquely individualized. On the other hand, and in the case of your 41 year old beautiful educated Thai, it may be because she has not been able to meet someone who is equal or better than her in terms of education and class.

What Thai girl, especially one who is beautiful, would want to marry someone beneath her in terms of education or wealth within the rigid hierarchical class structured Thai society? It could easily be the case that an overseas obtained education will seriously limit her choices for a mate, or it might be because her family is well-off to the extent that it would make it hard to find an appropriate match. I know of several very attractive single Thai women who have been constrained by one or both of these reasons.

[NeverSure]

There may well be nothing "wrong" with the lady in question. She may be focused and determined, a trait that some men do not find attractive.

I've always found that attractive. Some of them are driven in careers, but still want something to come home to, put on a different cap, and relax in. I've had that.

It struck me that there could be a 'dark' reason: maybe something bad happened to her in the past, and that could cause her to be wary of males.

That would be an issue. I'm not at all co-dependent. I don't want to rescue someone, and spend the rest of my life trying to prove that most men are OK. That's why the education and career attract me - she's not totally needy in that sense. I do realize that teachers don't make much money, but she still "did it."

[David48]

You could have said this ...

Carpet muncher?

But some have more diplomacy ,,,

Never met the right man....

[Rob8891]

There may well be nothing "wrong" with the lady in question. She may be focused and determined, a trait that some men do not find attractive.

I've always found that attractive. Some of them are driven in careers, but still want something to come home to, put on a different cap, and relax in. I've had that.

It struck me that there could be a 'dark' reason: maybe something bad happened to her in the past, and that could cause her to be wary of males.

That would be an issue. I'm not at all co-dependent. I don't want to rescue someone, and spend the rest of my life trying to prove that most men are OK. That's why the education and career attract me - she's not totally needy in that sense. I do realize that teachers don't make much money, but she still "did it."

Maybe I worded that post clumsily, in which case, I apologise. What I was stumbling around was that IF....and this is pure speculation....there was something in the past, maybe all that is needed is to talk. I didn't mean that you were in for a rescue situation, but at our ages, we all come with baggage, and maybe we all have things in our past that trouble us. Finding the right person unlocks the door, allowing deep-seated feeling to leave, and new feelings to enter.

Like I said, pure speculation.....something all of us are too damned expert at in Tv, so the best advice possible I could offer you would be not to ask advice of us lot!!!! Talking things through with the lady, (something I think some thais find very difficult) is the real way forward for you. Good luck, I hope it works.

That's the last time I ever drink rose wine.... I am far too in touch with my feminine side tonight

[theblether]

The world is getting smaller: improved communications via the internet driving this more than anything else. Assuming we can accept the global village premise, might it be feasible that some thai women are starting to follow the same path as some of their counterparts in the west, where they put their career before having a family? It is then not such a large step to suggest that maybe the career path is of more interest to them than marriage.

There may well be nothing "wrong" with the lady in question. She may be focused and determined, a trait that some men do not find attractive. some of the earlier posters have given other plausible reasons too. It struck me that there could be a 'dark' reason: maybe something bad happened to her in the past, and that could cause her to be wary of males.

There is only one way to find out.... If the lady in question means something to you, then you need to talk.... quietly and gently. Then you will know for sure.

£0.02.

Aha!! So that's what it is!! dating advice!!

OP......how it works is, you come on the forum and say " My friend is interested in a beautiful blah blah blah........."

We all give our best advice, some idiots lurk for hours and throw in stupid comments, we all go through with the pretence that it's for your friend while knowing it's really for you, and that's it!!

So!!.......I think nottocus is right. Tough luck, plenty more fish in the sea.

[Scully]

It is clearly impossible to say for any particular person since the Thais are usually so uniquely individualized. On the other hand, and in the case of your 41 year old beautiful educated Thai, it may be because she has not been able to meet someone who is equal or better than her in terms of education and class.

What Thai girl, especially one who is beautiful, would want to marry someone beneath her in terms of education or wealth within the rigid hierarchical class structured Thai society? It could easily be the case that an overseas obtained education will seriously limit her choices for a mate, or it might be because her family is well-off to the extent that it would make it hard to find an appropriate match. I know of several very attractive single Thai women who have been constrained by one or both of these reasons.

Please don't bring such a balanced, well observed post to the general forum. Please stick to bar girls and rug munchers.

Seriously though, good post

[submaniac]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

[NeverSure]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

This gal is gorgeous, just under 5' and about 95 pounds. She has a super sweet look on her face, her smile, and in her eyes. She's not a hard case like a bar girl in any way.

[smokie36]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

"If a girl doesn't fall for me then she will when my wife knees her in the balls!"

Only in Thailand.

[theblether]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

Oh.....the plot thickens!!

[Rob8891]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

"If a girl doesn't fall for me then she will when my wife knees her in the balls!"

Only in Thailand.

Said with such tenderness.......

[submaniac]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

Well you needed to put that in your post then! I have reread the post and that little tidbit of information wasn't there.

[theblether]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

In my case she would need to be as I'm just so cute and adorable.

[theblether]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

Well you needed to put that in your post then! I have reread the post and that little tidbit of information wasn't there.

By the way......seriously......it was a bit of an oversight wasn't it?

@neversure............here comes a serious answer.

Don't get drawn in to a fantasy, you have posted elsewhere on the board that you have a health issue to contend with, obviously that comes first. Yes stay in contact, yes the contact may well be a pleasant distraction from your current situation, and a lovely day dream however!!

Promise nothing......

Expect nothing........

Don't build your hopes up........this thread is going to degenerate into a flame-fest but I tell you what, your going to read a lot of truisms. It won't do you any harm to see some negative stuff.

Just sayin'

ps. Did you get the first contact through an internet dating site?

[NeverSure]

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

Yeah, well as so many other guys on this forum have also claimed, it's no problem because I'm also a lesbian.

[NeverSure]

I want to phrase this delicately so I don't upset the OP, and OP don't take it the wrong way.

Sounds like she's not interested in you. If she's not interested in you...everything else really doesn't matter. Like, "well if she's not interested in you there must be something wrong with her" or "it's a Thai cultural thing". Or maybe she's not into you. For whatever reason. Like, I know it's incredibly hard to believe, but some women just aren't into submaniac too. I know! Unbelievable, right?!?! But if "not interested" leave it be and move on. I don't need to speculate as to the reasons why. Whatever reasons for not being into you or not, or not finding the "right man" or whatever, it's her call. Maybe she was in love and had a tragic love affair...whatever. Not really anyone else's business as far as I am concerned.

I am awaiting the chorus of "if a woman doesn't fall for me then she's a lesbian."

I must have missed something. She contacted me, and has been PMing me about 3 times a day for a month. She says "I'm ready if you are." Now, I just have to figure out as much as I can, and decide if I'm catching a flight to LOS about 6 months before I move there.

Well you needed to put that in your post then! I have reread the post and that little tidbit of information wasn't there.

By the way......seriously......it was a bit of an oversight wasn't it?

@neversure............here comes a serious answer.

Don't get drawn in to a fantasy, you have posted elsewhere on the board that you have a health issue to contend with, obviously that comes first. Yes stay in contact, yes the contact may well be a pleasant distraction from your current situation, and a lovely day dream however!!

Promise nothing......

Expect nothing........

Don't build your hopes up........this thread is going to degenerate into a flame-fest but I tell you what, your going to read a lot of truisms. It won't do you any harm to see some negative stuff.

Just sayin'

ps. Did you get the first contact through an internet dating site?

Thanks. My health issues are temporary and are clearing up. They aren't permanent. It was a serious injury but I'll be 100%. No, it wasn't a dating site, although she says she's on a couple of them. Does that matter? Apparently, very few of the Asian women who join a dating site actually land a farang. ??

[theblether]

Yes it does matter, in a way it totally over rides your OP. We have come into the thread thinking the lady was single and possibly happy to be so, but now we find out she is actively looking for a partner. That's a totally different kettle of fish.

I have no difficulty with the concept of internet dating, I met my first Thai lady via the internet, she was stunningly beautiful beyond belief but she was wild, so no go. She still haunts me in one respect, my current partner saw her with me in the hotel we stayed at, ( my lady worked there ), and once in a blue moon she brings her up.

Thai women forget nothing.

Anyway.......I stand by what I said, promise nothing, expect nothing, don't build your hopes up. It's hard enough to meet the right person without going through the filter of the internet.

Anyway......you've given me a chance to tell my favourite / worst internet dating story.....I'll be back in a minute

[Rob8891]

Yes it does matter, in a way it totally over rides your OP. We have come into the thread thinking the lady was single and possibly happy to be so, but now we find out she is actively looking for a partner. That's a totally different kettle of fish.

I have no difficulty with the concept of internet dating, I met my first Thai lady via the internet, she was stunningly beautiful beyond belief but she was wild, so no go. She still haunts me in one respect, my current partner saw her with me in the hotel we stayed at, ( my lady worked there ), and once in a blue moon she brings her up.

Thai women forget nothing.

Anyway.......I stand by what I said, promise nothing, expect nothing, don't build your hopes up. It's hard enough to meet the right person without going through the filter of the internet.

Anyway......you've given me a chance to tell my favourite / worst internet dating story.....I'll be back in a minute

This means get comfy.......there's a blether under construction!!

[NeverSure]

Yes it does matter, in a way it totally over rides your OP. We have come into the thread thinking the lady was single and possibly happy to be so, but now we find out she is actively looking for a partner. That's a totally different kettle of fish.

I have no difficulty with the concept of internet dating, I met my first Thai lady via the internet, she was stunningly beautiful beyond belief but she was wild, so no go. She still haunts me in one respect, my current partner saw her with me in the hotel we stayed at, ( my lady worked there ), and once in a blue moon she brings her up.

Thai women forget nothing.

Anyway.......I stand by what I said, promise nothing, expect nothing, don't build your hopes up. It's hard enough to meet the right person without going through the filter of the internet.

Anyway......you've given me a chance to tell my favourite / worst internet dating story.....I'll be back in a minute

Thanks. This is all good stuff I'm getting.

Sorry I wasn't more complete in the OP, but I didn't realize any of it mattered. Now I see it does.