Divorcing Soon

[Unwisemonkey]

It's been a long process mostly of soul searching. I traveled back to the U.S. to work and develop a war chest to fight for custody of my children, or sponsor my manipulative spouse back to the U.S. after she blew off her conditional green card status by refusing to return to the U.S. It's a long story and I don't wish to drag it up again. If the readers of this post are interested just search my name and you can get a handle on it. I've gotten some very good advice from the users here and so I'm going to ask one more time.

I don't have much to show for the four months I was away in the U.S. I had saved and saved but then all the problems my spouse and I left behind when we first left for Thailand began to rear it's ugly head. So I took the responsible route and started paying off the delinquent bills and whatnot and looking for a place stay. After that I was laid off from my job and I realized this process is going to take longer then I could tolerate being away from my children... to sponsor a woman who I really don't love anymore to go to a country she doesn't deserve to return to. My heart has been broken and every time I return my children to her it breaks a little more when my oldest child feigns being asleep in the hopes that she can stay with me.

Frankly after reading the forums here I believe I have a very good chance of a fair shake at a custody battle. The fact is she took matters into her own hands when she moved out and took the children and didn't tell me where what she was doing. She compounded the situation by snatching up their passports, filing false police reports, and a whole load of other shenanigans. I just want to get this behind me and get at the very minimum shared custody of my children with the rights to take them back to the U.S. for alternating school years. Many users here have stated they think it would be wrong to deny them their Thai culture and I agree, And likewise I agree that it would be wrong to deny them their American culture as well. There is nothing quite like corn dogs at a county fair with funnel cake for dessert washed down with pink lemonade. The variety of foods we enjoy (I am bored with Thai food) our Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and new years. Much more then that my children have a gang of cousins all about the same age over there, and none to speak of here in Thailand. So all in all. I think I have a good case.

The advice I need is simple. I just need to know where to go to sign the divorce decree. I spoke with my ex about this already and it seems it is by mutual consent. The only issue is child custody. It is still all about her as she states "If 'I' can get my visa to the U.S. then it's okay sure but if not 'I' will worry about them too much" It's a load of shat, but I don't need to worry about that and it is not the topic.

The other bit is should I bring a trusted interpreter with me so I don't unknowingly sign over custody of the children to her. I have given her some time to think over these matters as we had a lengthy and friendly conversation for the first time in two years, but I am 99% certain we will end up in court to have it decided. I cannot wait any longer now because If I do the judge will certainly say that the children have been living with her for so long now why do I want to change it. My grace period which mostly amounts to logistical challenges and giving the ex time to cool off is at an end, so I need to just go and do it. I'm feeling confident in the case I have documents brought back from the U.S. that will also help support me and a Thai friend who is a lawyer whom also witnessed her actions making false claims with the police.

Also I am living in North Bangkok near Bang Khen/JJ market area, so if there is a government office there that is close... that is where I need to know how to get to. Also we were married in the U.S. and our marriage certificate is from there.

[Mario2008]

First you have to register the marriage in Thailand itself. For this you have to go to the embassy and make a statement, your embassy webiste has more information on this. This you need to have translated into Thai at a translation aganecy and next you go to the Thai Foreign Office, Consular Department to have it legalised. When that is done you can have the marriage recorded in the books and after that get a divorce in Thailand.

If you both agree you can get a divorce at the any anphur (or khet in Bangkok) by simply both showing up and signing the divorce register. At that time you can also file any divorce settlement you make, including regarding the custody of the children. That will be a binding contract. As you say, it is important that you have a good trnaslater and lawyer who puts the settlement on paper.

If you can't agree, you have to file for divorce at the court (for reason of abandonement) and at the same time file for custody over the children. A Thai court will always give shared custody, with one parent being the prime care taker and the other parent having visitation rights. Only when the other parent is incapable or a danger to the child will the other one get sole custody.

Child support in Thailand is bewteen 3,000 and 6,000 baht a month, with both parents sharing the cost of education and medical bills. Here is a point of negotiating.

There is no alimoney under Thai law.

[Unwisemonkey]

I was just reading on Siam-legal and it seems that this custody issue will prevent us from going through with an uncontested divorce.

[Mario2008]

If you can't agree about the custody, you have to go through court.

As said, you have some room for negotiating with the child support and other arrangements you are willing to make for her in an uncontested divorce. Otherwise the max she will get from a judge is what I mentioned for child support. No alimony.

Note that if you are living in Thailand, she will have to take care of the children herself or let you take car of the children. Children are brought up by their parents, so for instance the children being taking care of by the grandparents while she is off to another town working and not taking care of the children is not going to be accepted by a judge.

[TommoPhysicist]

In Thai court

You won't get sole custody of the children.

You won't be allowed to remove them from Thailand for any significant period of time.

Base your court actions around those facts and proceed.

"Dear judge, I am moving to Thailand to be with my children, I want to pay for them to go to an expensive school in Thailand ..........."

Take a few expensive Thai school brochures to court with you to show the judge.

Just my opinion.

Edited October 24, 2012 by TommoPhysicist