Farang Living In "the Sticks" Alone

[endure]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

Considering that he's just told us that he IS happy what qualifies you to contradict him? Have you ever met him? Do you know his mental circumstances?

What strikes me is that someone has posted the circumstances in which he lives and that he's satisfied with them. He's not criticizing anyone else whereas they ARE criticising him.

[mrtoad]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

1/ He feels the need to justify his position when nobody asked him anything. Actually my feeling is the person he is trying to convince the most that he made the right lifestyle choice is himself.

2/ In his post there is a veiled criticism of people who live around him and don't share his lifestyle.

When you meet a happy, well adjusted person, he will speak enthusiastically about his life but will avoid talking negatively about others. Quite the opposite actually, he is usually the guy with the rose tinted glasses.

You must be a genius, being able to work that out from a post.

[JurgenG]

He (the OP) is not criticizing anyone else whereas they ARE criticising him.

Unfortunately he is.

Type 1 : he is not snobish (if he isn't why should he feel the need to mention it ?) but ... It's his choice not to talk to anyone because anyway what they have to say is of no interest to him. Right ...

Type 2 : Clowns, "friends" with "_" , status will drop from "good-farang" to "soi-dog." In this second part there is obviously jealousy toward people better integrated in the village.

People then will complain that the general forum is too agressive. But it's the OP who is agressive, He basically call his fellow villagers stupid and the foreigners who try to fit in clowns.

We know misery loves company but unfortunately it's not the company that I like to keep.

Edited November 1, 2012 by JurgenG

[Semper]

Off topic but I still find Sempers avatar very disturbing.

Off topic but I still find Sempers avatar very disturbing.

[guzzi850m2]

Ahh all the pocket "brain doctors" have popped out of the closet again, so here is my take of OP .

I seen many odd expats characters here in LOS, OP don't seems to be that odd, if he wants his solo life that up to him.

I find it more odd that many older expats come here and marry a Thai girl +40 years younger than himself and are devastated when she kicks him out of the house he bought and all the savings are gone.

I would not like to and does not live a life like OP but prefer a mix of socializing and nice and quiet life in my house with my family.

[Guest]

Off topic but I still find Sempers avatar very disturbing.

That's overly attached girlfriend farang.

[bendejo]

Google "Schizoid Personality Disorder" - the websites of the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic are good resources.

This will explain many of the men and women who prefer solitary lives.

Psychological wank.

Perhaps the disorder is with those who need to be constantly with people because they cannot face themselves when alone. All goes back to toilet training, right?

Sheesh!

[mogoso]

My wife and I can understand his viewpoint. Our home is about two klicks from the village. We are surrounded by rice paddies and a couple of small hills. We don't hear the morning announcements from the Wat. We don't have many people stopping by and that's fine with us. We've a guest cabin for friends that pass through. We're not antisocial, my wife likes to say we're private.

If we could see our closet neighbors they'd be about a klick away in the three directions you could travel. We like sitting on the front porch watching the sun set in the evenings. We don't listen to a neighbors loud music at 5am or hassles over this or that. We like it when our grandson is running around the yard. Shopping is only around 7 klicks where we can buy food, sundries, gas, or restaurants. We can get to the airport in 45 minutes if traffic is light down 1317 by making three turns.

Things are convient but not in our backyard. The village close by has 105 houses and a large man made lake above it that has good fishing. The villagers themselves are friendly but reserved and we have a good relationship with the pooyai.

Life is good without lots of people surrounding you

[krisb]

So your a loner....Good luck.

Grizzly Adams?

[krisb]

Off topic but I still find Sempers avatar very disturbing.

Off topic but I still find Sempers avatar very disturbing.

Off topic but I find Jacktrips avatar really frikn greasy!

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Off topic but I find Jacktrips avatar really frikn greasy!

Yes, tempted to block just to not have to see it.

[Beetlejuice]

Off topic but I find Jacktrips avatar really frikn greasy!

Yes, tempted to block just to not have to see it.

That`s how people become when they lose their sense of humour and take life oh, too seriously.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

That`s how people become when they lose their sense of humour and take life oh, too seriously.

No, just a visceral reaction, perhaps because it's a reminder of how I'll look if I keep indulging my chocolate addiction.

So from that POV maybe it's doing me a favor. . .

[I Like Thai]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

1/ He feels the need to justify his position when nobody asked him anything. Actually my feeling is the person he is trying to convince the most that he made the right lifestyle choice is himself.

2/ In his post there is a veiled criticism of people who live around him and don't share his lifestyle.

When you meet a happy, well adjusted person, he will speak enthusiastically about his life but will avoid talking negatively about others. Quite the opposite actually, he is usually the guy with the rose tinted glasses.

Are you not happy then ?

[Eff1n2ret]

It's not a big deal, either way, nor is it anything new:-

"I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,

And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;

Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honey bee,

And live alone in the bee-loud glade."

I wonder how long W.B. Yeats actually spent in romantic solitude, or how long before the OP gets bored.

[Fgis]

Does living in the sticks means living BAAN NORK ?

[GreenSnapper]

I think the fact that the OP has described his situation on a public forum is his way of crying for help and is suffering from deep rooted personal emotional problems perhaps caused by having to leave his own environment for some reasons only known to himself.

After you posted that.... does it make you feel good?

[mrtoad]

I think the fact that the OP has described his situation on a public forum is his way of crying for help and is suffering from deep rooted personal emotional problems perhaps caused by having to leave his own environment for some reasons only known to himself.

After you posted that.... does it make you feel good?

It certainly made him look a tool.

[rattler]

hear hear for the op.why do us loners always get told we need to integrate? the farther i am away from meddling nosey individuals the better. i dont want to integrate into any society.

[canopy]

You may be the first person I have heard of that is similar to me. Just about every farang I know followed their wife to her village. I on the other hand came alone. After much scouting around Thailand and even other countries I chose a place based on good weather and scenery. I went on to learn the language and can even read and write Thai pretty ok. I am polite to villagers and keep my feelings to myself about the caustic atmosphere they live in like getting too drunk too often, discarding trash on the street, burning plastic in their yards, making lots of noise, using weed killer to landscape their yards, and so forth. It's their way and I have no illusions of changing the world, but their ways are awful compared to the picturesque places I left in the US with thoughtful people who cared about creating a pleasant environment around them. Thus, I stay far away from the village and am known as the farang in the forest. I like it this way. My interactions with villagers is small and even with all the negatives the respect I am treated with by them comes through at times and that makes me feel good. I feel like a knight in shining armor every time they introduce me to a girl they think will be the right one for me. I could never get experiences like this in the US. So there are some pluses and minuses like everywhere else.

I am very busy in the sticks, never a day off. I have a substantial amount of land and am constantly building things, learning, landscaping. Working in the mountains myself and interacting in a second language at all times makes for a physically and mentally taxing lifestyle. I enjoy it.

Edited November 2, 2012 by canopy

[geriatrickid]

Google "Schizoid Personality Disorder" - the websites of the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic are good resources.

This will explain many of the men and women who prefer solitary lives.

That's an unfair assessment. I too prefer a solitary lifestyle. I like being independent and once you function like this for some time, it is very difficult to change. Having been in a relationship for almost 5 years, I found the stress of dealing with other another person's problems and Thai family to be overwhelming at times. Some people are mature and smart enough to know that they would not make ideal spouses or parents when they are older. Rather than denigrate them, you should consider their motives. I have more respect for a man or woman that chooses to be solitary than one of those clinging dependents that needs wifeyor hubby to run their lives.

The only downside is what to do once one gets to the point where it is not safe to live alone due to health or age characteristics. I that case, one must retain live in help. For those that have had domestic staff, it can be annoying with the maid or valet getting underfoot.

[rixalex]

For those that have had domestic staff, it can be annoying with the maid or valet getting underfoot.

For those living in a 19th century period drama, it surely must.

[Gary A]

I have to admit that I wouldn't want to live up here alone. Unfortunately I have no ear for the very tonal Thai language. I simply cannot pickup on the subtle different tones. That is maybe the main reason that I would move back to the farang ghetto if anything should happen to my relationship with my Thai wife.

One of my farang friends does live here all alone and he would never consider leaving. There's just him and his dog. The few other local farangs are all married to Thai women.

Another actually lives in Pattaya with his Thai wife during the school year because he wants his children to have a better education than what is available here. He says that he would rather be here than in Pattaya.

[rixalex]

Another actually lives in Pattaya with his Thai wife during the school year because he wants his children to have a better education than what is available here. He says that he would rather be here than in Pattaya.

A personal thing i am sure, but for me, the schools in my area would have to be pretty dire for me to want to take the kids off to Pattaya to do their growing up.

Edited November 2, 2012 by rixalex

[whiteman]

I would not like to and does not live a life like OP but prefer a mix of socializing and nice and quiet life in my house with my family.

As will you will know IT IS NOT YOUR HOME you can not own a home here unless it is in the sky.

[chiang mai]

Google "Schizoid Personality Disorder" - the websites of the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic are good resources.

This will explain many of the men and women who prefer solitary lives.

That's an unfair assessment. I too prefer a solitary lifestyle. I like being independent and once you function like this for some time, it is very difficult to change. Having been in a relationship for almost 5 years, I found the stress of dealing with other another person's problems and Thai family to be overwhelming at times. Some people are mature and smart enough to know that they would not make ideal spouses or parents when they are older. Rather than denigrate them, you should consider their motives. I have more respect for a man or woman that chooses to be solitary than one of those clinging dependents that needs wifeyor hubby to run their lives.

The only downside is what to do once one gets to the point where it is not safe to live alone due to health or age characteristics. I that case, one must retain live in help. For those that have had domestic staff, it can be annoying with the maid or valet getting underfoot.

I find that the live out maid and the wife who works is a good compromise.

[JurgenG]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

1/ He feels the need to justify his position when nobody asked him anything. Actually my feeling is the person he is trying to convince the most that he made the right lifestyle choice is himself.

2/ In his post there is a veiled criticism of people who live around him and don't share his lifestyle.

When you meet a happy, well adjusted person, he will speak enthusiastically about his life but will avoid talking negatively about others. Quite the opposite actually, he is usually the guy with the rose tinted glasses.

Are you not happy then ?

To explain why sometime it may look like I over react, you have to understand my job.

I'm a team leader, my job is to take a group of people from point A to point B. I can deal with people with limited abilities, no problem. I know what everybody is able to achieve and I distribute the tasks accordingly. What I can't deal with is people with negative mind, people who undermine everything we try to achieve, who put everybody down. As soon as one is identified, he is eliminated (to avoid any confusion, we are in the corporate world. Eliminated means fired ...)

I tend to react the same here. I know that life in a foreign country might be difficult and challenging. But it's not by whining and being overly negative that we are going to solve anything.

[Beetlejuice]

You may be the first person I have heard of that is similar to me. Just about every farang I know followed their wife to her village. I on the other hand came alone. After much scouting around Thailand and even other countries I chose a place based on good weather and scenery. I went on to learn the language and can even read and write Thai pretty ok. I am polite to villagers and keep my feelings to myself about the caustic atmosphere they live in like getting too drunk too often, discarding trash on the street, burning plastic in their yards, making lots of noise, using weed killer to landscape their yards, and so forth. It's their way and I have no illusions of changing the world, but their ways are awful compared to the picturesque places I left in the US with thoughtful people who cared about creating a pleasant environment around them. Thus, I stay far away from the village and am known as the farang in the forest. I like it this way. My interactions with villagers is small and even with all the negatives the respect I am treated with by them comes through at times and that makes me feel good. I feel like a knight in shining armor every time they introduce me to a girl they think will be the right one for me. I could never get experiences like this in the US. So there are some pluses and minuses like everywhere else.

I am very busy in the sticks, never a day off. I have a substantial amount of land and am constantly building things, learning, landscaping. Working in the mountains myself and interacting in a second language at all times makes for a physically and mentally taxing lifestyle. I enjoy it.

I think this is classic. You say: (“but their ways are awful compared to the picturesque places I left in the US with thoughtful people who cared about creating a pleasant environment around them. Thus, I stay far away from the village and am known as the farang in the forest”) and (“I am very busy in the sticks, never a day off. I have a substantial amount of land and am constantly building things, learning, landscaping.”)

So why are you here? And if you are alone, how did you manage to obtain and own a substantial amount of land within a community that you appear to detest and have nothing but criticisms for?

If you are living in an area within an environment that you claim is caustic and among people that you allege ways are awful compared to those in Americaland or in other words, below you, and would wonder if your land ownership is legal, which in my book makes you a hypocrite in the first degree.

It is your types that really amaze me. They come here to live, with their holier than thou attitudes considering themselves of a status above the Thai people and probably any other farangs around them and have no intentions of ever becoming a part or integrating within the communities in which they reside and have no misgivings about bending the laws in order to sustain their lifestyle within the communities that they consider are primordial and best avoided.

Simply amazing.

[billd766]

I would not like to and does not live a life like OP but prefer a mix of socializing and nice and quiet life in my house with my family.

As will you will know IT IS NOT YOUR HOME you can not own a home here unless it is in the sky.

I know it is not "MY" home but then again back in the UK when I was married previously it was not "MY" home then either. It was "OUR" home and my wife got it in the divorce.

[I Like Thai]

Everyone has a choice, if the OP is happy with his lot good for him. Not how I would want to I've, but doesn't mean that he deserves all the suggestions of some deep seated psychological disorder that some posters feel qualified to diagnose.

He is not so happy because :

1/ He feels the need to justify his position when nobody asked him anything. Actually my feeling is the person he is trying to convince the most that he made the right lifestyle choice is himself.

2/ In his post there is a veiled criticism of people who live around him and don't share his lifestyle.

When you meet a happy, well adjusted person, he will speak enthusiastically about his life but will avoid talking negatively about others. Quite the opposite actually, he is usually the guy with the rose tinted glasses.

Are you not happy then ?

To explain why sometime it may look like I over react, you have to understand my job.

I'm a team leader, my job is to take a group of people from point A to point B. I can deal with people with limited abilities, no problem. I know what everybody is able to achieve and I distribute the tasks accordingly. What I can't deal with is people with negative mind, people who undermine everything we try to achieve, who put everybody down. As soon as one is identified, he is eliminated (to avoid any confusion, we are in the corporate world. Eliminated means fired ...)

I tend to react the same here. I know that life in a foreign country might be difficult and challenging. But it's not by whining and being overly negative that we are going to solve anything.

How does being negative towards the OP fit in with your perception of yourself then ?