One Sided Divorce- Need Advice

[Flowers11]

Hello,

I need you advice for the following case.

Me and my Thai wife got officially married under Thai law more than 4 years ago but have lived most of the time separately in Thailand, she has been never taking care about me and what I do by myself at home even now I work away from Thailand too, she also never want to visit me even I asked so many times. and that’s one of the reasons why I want to divorce from her.

Some important things to know: There are no children involved but AFTER our marriage we bought two houses. One house (3 million THB) was paid by me but land under her name and with a 30 years lease contract with my name and the second house (1.7 million) was paid by her but without lease contract. Now my wife does only agree with the divorce if I pay 2 million THB because for her house she worked very hard and I can’t ask 50% for that house even we married for Thai law.

In opinion the 2 million THB is too much because we are married according the Thai law in community of property.

I could not negotiate with her anymore during this year already as she was so greedy who always asked for more every time I agree with her request. First she asked 10,000 $ then later 30,000 $ and more for 50,000$, before last time she asked half my house and last is 60,000$. So that why I need a lawyer and I have asked my lawyer to negotiate about the price because in my case I think it’s very fair to give her 1 million THB but if she will not agree with then I have no choice and have to bring it to the court.

My lawyer will charge me as follows:

First I have to pay is the court fees. It is about 2% of total asset. If the houses are THB 4 million, the court fee will be 2% of 4 million THB.

About the attorney’s fee during the prosecution, he would like to charge me 100,000 THB since the first day that we process the prosecution. If the case is last more than a year, he would like to charge me another 100,000 THB for the 2nd year. If the result comes out acceptable for both of you, he would like to charge me another 100,000 THB. But if the result is not acceptable and we have to prosecute in appeal or Supreme Court, he would like to charge me 100,000 THB for all the time during the appeal court and another 100,000 THB for Supreme Court.

In summary, in civil court since the first day of prosecution I have to pay 300,000 THB maximum and gradually pay in phases.

Anybody please let me know if this charge is reasonable for my case as lawyer mention above. And if I can divorce my wife fairly as per proper Thai’s law.

Thank you in advance.

[TommoPhysicist]

Why not just stay married and keep the house you lease. Sounds a lot cheaper.

I never really understand why so many foreigners rush into marriage, and then rush even faster into divorce.

Edited November 25, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[thewug]

Just some questions for you... Why aren't you entitled to 50% of her house? And i don't understand about the 10000b to 60000b thing?...

Thanks

[Flowers11]

@ Tommo: no rush here after a marriage of more than 4 years

@ thewug: it's not THB 10.000 and THB 60.000 but by USD. yes sure I am entitled to have 50% of her house but I want to solve this case on peace and that's why I want to offer maximum USD 30.000 and a car which I bought before our marriage if she agree to divorce

[Dancealot]

Dont go to court first but try to save a lot of trouble. First try to divorce on mutual consent: meaning go to amphur with a case of money. Give it to her after you both signed the papers and have the divorce certificate in hand. It's been done before. I also suggest you hire a professional negotiator to set the price FOR you.

[TommoPhysicist]

Being married really hampers a Thai ladies freedom of action.

She can't buy land, get loans, get a VISA to a western country, snag another sucker, etc.

If you just wait her out, she will do it for nothing.

Again, why are you so eager to get things done?

Wait her out.

Edited November 25, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Billposter]

I have just done the divorce thing something I did not want all down to money and status on her behalf but I went along with it because she would not change her mind we have no assets in Thailand so different to you but the proses is quite simple we argue about money Friday I get condo Friday we get divorced Monday how my wife could make up her mind so quick is something I can't get my head round we had been together for 4 years money sent every month I have heard of farangs just walking away from it all I believe in uk law you can get 49 per cent if it was register in uk mine wasn't so I could just walk away good luck on it

[Flowers11]

Thank you all for your comments but any advice regarding the lawyer fees, are these reasonable?

[Farma]

Having been there done that I suggest you sit back, forget emotions and pride, do the maths before proceeding with the court option.

The only winner in this will be your lawyer. As dancealot says try to negotiate a deal before taking the court route. It will save you a lot of unnecessary stress too.

Be very careful as lawyers have been known to accept bribes from the other party. Don't let your guard down. Ask questions if you notice any changes in their confidence etc.

It sounds like he's expecting a long drawn out case by mentioning it could go to the supreme court. Think 3 or 4 + years. Does his fees include translations, your travel to appear in court, hire of a court translator for you, phonecalls etc? Translation alone if not included in his fees can double the amount he's suggesting.

The plus side of negotiating is you can ensure property transactions are completed there and then. Fair enough you might have to pay her some cash, but look at it this way. Instead of money going in legal fees it's now being used for your benefit in negotiations.

A court divorce may give a verdict more to your liking BUT you then have to try and collect. While the case has been going through the courts her lawyer would have shown her ways to hide assets, transfer them into other peoples names etc so there is nothing in her name for you to collect. Trying to collect in Thailand is near on impossible.

Personally for the amounts you're talking I would opt for negotiation.

[thewug]

Wait it out... sooner or latter she will need the divorice and you will have more power.... I was married to a thai women before my marrage now... When we first separated she want this and that... i said no way.... She said that the only way i would get her to divorice me was if id pay her... one year latter she was begging me for it... I waited 6 more months before i gave it to her...

As for the lawyer, The same here as back home, the lawyers always win the money and the husband and wife pays the money...

He himself has said that it could take 2 years... And they will drag it out for how long the can.

Are you in a rush? I can understand you want to put this all behind you... But time can be on your side....

[Flowers11]

Higly appriciated all you useful advice! So if I understand well, if my wife doesn't accept the offer of 1 million THB it's better to wait for further action after living far away from her for 3 years. In this case I don't need to hire a lawyer but need a translator only to bring this case to the court, I will have more benefits and the court will be solved out faster OR is it not allowed to bring this case as foreigner to the court without a lawyer? Or do you think it's even better to offer her 'nothing' and just wait? Thank you for your advice.

[TommoPhysicist]

Offer her nothing and wait.

She will soon find a new foreigner and want stuff from him.

Some husbands even manage to get the new foreigner paying them for a divorce.

[ThaidDown]

You say that you have a 30 year lease on a house, if I may ask, who did you lease it from ?

The answer may have consequences.

[nontabury]

You say that you have a 30 year lease on a house, if I may ask, who did you lease it from ?

The answer may have consequences.

In his first post,he mentions that the 30yr lease is with his wife.

[thewug]

If you go to court you need a lawyer... And translator ect.. could take 2 or 3 years... Better to just wait her out... it doesn't sound like your getting married right away... so don't rush... leave the ball in her court... and when she bites and wants your last offer, say No...Why should you have to pay to her...

[ThaidDown]

You say that you have a 30 year lease on a house, if I may ask, who did you lease it from ?

The answer may have consequences.

In his first post,he mentions that the 30yr lease is with his wife.

He said 'One house (3 million THB) was paid by me but land under her name and with a 30 years lease contract with my name' which does not specifically say he got the lease from his wife (thats the way I read it but might be wrong)

The reason that I asked was that under Thai civil law any contract between husband and wife can be voided by either party at any time including up to one year after divorce (section 1469).

So if the lease was granted by his wife then she could cancel it at any time.

Agree with the view that divorce by mutual consent would be preferable if possible.

[Dancealot]

Tommo has got some down to earth advice, respect. It' s hard to do this waiting game but he has got a point.

I think the OP should keep things basic and get more, how to say, street smart. He has to kick the ball to her. Not listen to what she threatens and blackmails. Do not listen to her and make your own plan. I feel the OP is letting his vision be clouded by her. Since there are no kids involved you have to play hard ball. And please get some help, not only on TV but a real person(friend with experience) who can help you out.

Remember Flowers11: You cannot do this on your own. I am a strong character but i still needed my friends when i went through this myself. No rushing, get your head straight and make a very good plan A, B etc.

Get help, dude!

Edited November 26, 2012 by Dancealot

[Farma]

Higly appriciated all you useful advice! So if I understand well, if my wife doesn't accept the offer of 1 million THB it's better to wait for further action after living far away from her for 3 years. In this case I don't need to hire a lawyer but need a translator only to bring this case to the court, I will have more benefits and the court will be solved out faster OR is it not allowed to bring this case as foreigner to the court without a lawyer? Or do you think it's even better to offer her 'nothing' and just wait? Thank you for your advice.

Flowers11 from your post I can see some confusion on the ways to get divorced.Take a read through the links i've added below as it will help you understand the processes.

In your situation there is 2 ways to get divorced.

1. Contested (court) divorce - This takes years, you will need a lawyer, translator etc

or

2. Uncontested (Umphur) divorce. - This is where you can negotiate a deal with your wife.

I suggest reading the information on these links from the marriage and divorce forum pinned topics and http://thailawonline.com/en/family/divorce-in-thailand/how-to-divorce.html

In your first post you mentioned court fees, appeal and supreme court. The information in this link http://www.bia.co.th/030.html from the pinned topics in the business forum will give you an idea of the process involved if you divorce through the court.

[SoCalChris]

I never really understand why so many foreigners rush into marriage, and then rush even faster into divorce.

Depends on the situation. For me, I was happy not being married for the two years until we had our child. We had agreed in advance to return to farangland benefitting the child for a good education and upbringing. Getting married made it easier to get the Visa. Now the Thai wife won't follow me over with my son (thanks to the family!). I'm now contemplating divorce as I don't want my wife to legally have rights to half of the 6 digit Thai baht I'm able to save every month. I still provide generously every month though for my son.

IMO, we had a plan, I'm the bread winner and she should follow through accordingly.

Edited December 2, 2012 by SoCalChris

[Boo]

Is the money she wants in exchange for the land your house is sitting on?

Just for information purposes. Alimony is not recognised in thai law.

[Gary A]

The first thing I would NOT do is hire a lawyer. The absolute best way to get a divorce is with her cooperation. You get a divorce from the same amphur where you got married. This is by far the cheapest and efficient way as it eliminates the courts and lawyers. As for myself, I would rather give her a bit more than to see the courts and lawyers get it. Take your time and wait her out. She'll eventually come around.

[Flowers11]

Thank you for your all kind advices and now I want to update my situation for your kind advice next as below

1. This month she suddenly come back and ask for divorce with condition that she agree to divorce first and we will sell house I bought and share 50/50. She keeps her house.. because she cannot wait till next two years. She wants to finish it as soon as possible. She asked me to sign agreement like that in police station. I refused.

2. I dont feel secure with her solution as after divorce she can terminate lease contract at any time after one year from one of your guy advice according to Thai Law. that why i dont want to sell house before divorce.

3. I have lease contract now in EN with her signature but no Thai language so that I just translated and noterized to Thai for secure more from Police as she want to send her son (from previous Thai husband) and her nephew to my house to stay with my dad. She want to make it more difficult for my dad who is over 68 years old. In lease contract, it is clearly mentioned that i can decide who stay in my house so if they consist to stay there, can i ask help from Police and do I need to show lease contract by Thai when police come and is it possible i can kick out them from my house?

4. I want to close this case too that why I ask she return 50% of house value to me by cash but she just accept to return 25%.

my solution now is waiting for her out.

Any advice kindly feel free to update me

Thank you all

Flowers11

[oliver80]

Done the court thingy, wait it out dude, you sound like your not in Thailand anyway, so basically it will screw up her life, enjoy your 30 yr lease .

I tell you and you have been told, give her nothing, if you sell your house then she sells hers too, and you get 50/50 of both proceed, dont part with a cent because that your blood and sweat there mate!

These Thai girls are all the same, dont think with your heart, thats too western standards, think with your brain only! I garantee you she is noy thinking of her bank account and her furture dude she is going to snag, no matter how good things where, so you thought. Been there done that dude, its all a farce!