Get Ready To Smile.......

[Steve2UK]

I spotted the following article on the "Sticky Rice" website - yes, I do like to read widely . The last paragraph made me smile so much that I want to share it with the rest of you. No agenda and I'm not saying that I think the article reveals any universal truth - although I always think it's useful (i.e. thought-provoking) to see another Thai side of the many farang/Thai coins. Whatever else, I do think it's a good piece of writing and that the last section is very, very funny. Enjoy........

"Gay Marriage Thai Style" - Martin Frank

Western common sense suggests that in an intergenerational love affair, the younger man will soon get bored with his old friend, and secretly look for greener pastures, i.e. younger, sexier men. In young Thai-old Farang relationships, this rarely seems to be the case. “Married” young gay Thai men relax from their stressful intercultural, intergenerational relationships playing darts and singing karaoke, not having sex. In fact, they complain that their older partners want too much sex.

A friend of a friend of mine, an athletic Thai gay queen in his early twenties, who “went inter”(national) and married a fifty-something Farang, continued to cook, wash and clean for his partner after that wretched partner had beaten him, kicked him out and brought home a new lover. While the old man wanted the young guy to pack and move, my friend’s friend still felt obliged to take care of his older husband because for Thais, private unhappiness isn’t sufficient reason to break up a marriage uniting two families and providing for the elderly.

Thais consider katoeys (gay queens) “the second kind of women” and expect them to conform to the female role model. Our unhappy friend may look athletic, but inside he is a beaten wife who cannot understand that her husband kicked her out. The he-wife didn’t complain about his husband’s age, looks, unfaithfulness, or wife-beating habit. What hurt the smarting queen was that his Farang husband hadn’t helped him to look after his family in Thailand. How could he go back now? Who would believe him that his wealthy-looking Farang had not even given him pocket money? He had married to support his brother and sister, to pay back his debt of gratitude to the monks who had educated him, and now found himself stranded in a foreign country, with a husband tired of him, no money, no working permit and scant knowledge of the local tongue. His husband suggested that a good-looking guy like him could earn money easily… What a shame! If not some good-hearted Thai friends would have asked him, “Gin laeo mai krab?” (Did you eat?), he would have died of hunger.

*****

If you fall in love with a beautiful, lipsticked, powder-cheeked, smooth-assed Thai queen, please keep in mind that Thais with a rural and/or traditional background don’t marry older Farangs for sex. They want a real marriage with all its social trim: Looking after parents and siblings, giving to monks, keeping a nice house, adopting children, dogs and cats, taking care of each other, marital fidelity, getting old together. In Thailand, love and sex are personal, individual, private, up to you. Marriage is grand family council and village headman stuff. Families are the bricks Thai society is built with. Teachers get dismissed for having extramarital affairs.

When Thais talk about “marriage” and “being your wife”, they mean serious, exclusive, long-term relationships. If you think marrying a Thai gay queen fresh out of high-school will solve your sex, food and housekeeping problems, don’t forget that your sweet, sexy he-wife expects you to live monogamous, provide social security for an extended family, give food and robes to the monks, and watch the TV channel your live-in father-in-law likes best.

[jdinasia]

Who knows ... the guy might even be right! All I know from real experience in Thailand is dating middle class guys. (The one's that might NOT be looking for all that and instead be looking for something more egalitarian)

Guess I have to step back from what kathoey from rural backgrounds might be looking for ;-)

[Ijustwannateach]

Thanks for posting that, Steve. I know someone who has done exactly as the last paragraph describes, with a young Thai gay who does have all of those characteristics and expectations. Fortunately for both of them, that foreigner is very well aware of his responsibilities and keeps them diligently (even regarding the in-laws). I can imagine that some situations do not turn out very well.

"Steven"

[Buki]

ahhh gay marriage.. how I wish the world is ready to embrace it.