Party Costs? Short Term Monk

[CeeGee]

Anyone have any idea of the costs involved when a thai man becomes a short term monk(two/three months)

I have heard figures of between 50/100,000 baht for the party.

We are not taking HiSo here just an average family.

100000 baht seem a hell of a lot of money for a couple of monks and some food!!

Any idea what is actually needed and the real cost??

Help!!

Thanks

[lopburi3]

That does not sound too much out of line - wife paid 12,000 or so for her sons some 30 years ago so would expect it to be at least 30-35k now for average income family but have no current knowledge. But normally about half of total amount is recovered from donations of guests as with marriage. Normally it covers several days and shaving/cleaning of monk in evening with prayers and travel to temple with band the next day. So you are providing food/drinks for a number of people/friends as well as monks - this is a major event in a persons life and especially so upcountry.

[rgs2001uk]

Let them spend what they want, I dont get involved neither do I contribute.

Yes I agree its an obscene amount of money, for many more than 1 years salary.

Upcountry IMHO these parties are nothing more than a way of gaining face, usually at someone elses expense..

Many will still be in debt after doing their stint at the temple.

[Scully]

Anyone have any idea of the costs involved when a thai man becomes a short term monk(two/three months)

I have heard figures of between 50/100,000 baht for the party.

We are not taking HiSo here just an average family.

100000 baht seem a hell of a lot of money for a couple of monks and some food!!

Any idea what is actually needed and the real cost??

Help!!

Thanks

You have answered your own question it is too expensive.

A neighbour had a party last year, food cooked by family, beer and whisky provided and music from their own sound system. They are normal Issan folk.

[isanbirder]

It's really not much more than an excuse for a big party..... as if Issan folk needed any excuse. That means the cost is what you like to spend. For most Issan people, that means more than they can afford.

[wayned]

The monk ordination ceremoney is similar to the Jewish Bar Mitzvah, a coming to age ceremoney for a young male. I'm not jewish, but what would you spend on a bar mitzvah if you were?

[Scully]

The monk ordination ceremoney is similar to the Jewish Bar Mitzvah, a coming to age ceremoney for a young male. I'm not jewish, but what would you spend on a bar mitzvah if you were?

What you can afford, no more.

[NeverSure]

OP, What is your position which sticks you with the bill?

It's against my religion to contribute anything to Buddhism. hahaha.

[loong]

Go to the temple and ask the head monk.

Ask him if you should deprive your family in order to spend money on a big party.

Ask him if you should go into debt to have a party.

Also ask him whether alcohol should be served.

Ask him whether you should have extremely loud music late into the night that will disturb the neighbours.

Ask him if a 5,000 Bt donation to the temple will make more merit than having a loud drunken party with gambling.

[Travel2003]

Yes, between 50K and 100K

Crazy.

[h90]

depends...between unexpected cheap to crazy expensive....really depends on the people.

It is like you ask how much does an American spend on Christmas presents? Between 10 and 100.000 USD.

Here it is somehow similar....

[David48]

The monk ordination ceremoney is similar to the Jewish Bar Mitzvah, a coming to age ceremoney for a young male. I'm not jewish, but what would you spend on a bar mitzvah if you were?

I'm really at a loss to understand your connection, either culturally, social demographically or fiscally.

.

[loong]

The monk ordination ceremoney is similar to the Jewish Bar Mitzvah, a coming to age ceremoney for a young male. I'm not jewish, but what would you spend on a bar mitzvah if you were?

I'm really at a loss to understand your connection, either culturally, social demographically or fiscally.

.

What has to be understood is that the occasion is insignificant. The only thing that is seen to be important by the party thrower is that is be louder and more extravagant than any recent party. They think that a big loud party will increase their status in the locality.

If, as is often the case, they go heavily into debt to be able to throw the party, their status will suffer dramatically over the next few years as they struggle to repay the debt and at the same time, put food on the table.

Anybody who earns a basic wage that is just enough to take care of the family and then goes into debt, equal to maybe a year's earnings, for one party is a moron. There is no way that a proper Buddhist would do this

[David48]

Two ordinations that my Thai gf went to recently.

One was her nephew ... I was there at this one.

Daytime event and there was no party.

The other was for a man in his 20's and there was catering, also a daytime event.

Each Table (approx 8 people) = Baht 1,300

Food, starters (could be as simple as peanuts), 6 or 7 types of food (including rice), 1 sweet

40 tables in total.

The guests were given an envelope and afterwards a donation was given back.

So, while you might be paying for this event ... make it clear that the donation envelopes are to be given out and the money come back.

An alternative strategy would be to get your wife/gf to borrow the money and rely on the donations coming back to repay the loan.

May I ask why you are being asked about a man's party.

If they are all looking at you to fund the event (because you are a Falang) and expect nothing to come back to you ... you have a window to your future.

OH ... if it's a night time event ... maybe it's more about the party, then the man who will be Monk.

You might look to change that.

Do come back and tell us what happened and maybe include a few photos of the celebrations ...

.

[Travel2003]

depends...between unexpected cheap to crazy expensive....really depends on the people.

It is like you ask how much does an American spend on Christmas presents? Between 10 and 100.000 USD.

Here it is somehow similar....

Amazingly different.

[NeverSure]

If they are all looking at you to fund the event (because you are a Falang) and expect nothing to come back to you ... you have a window to your future.

Bingo.

[Travel2003]

If they are all looking at you to fund the event (because you are a Falang) and expect nothing to come back to you ... you have a window to your future.

Bingo.

Negative.

Not even close.

Not even hit the target, nevertheless Bulls eye.

This is the very same as we see in Catholicism.

You can pay yourself into heaven, depending how much you do (pay or perform "special" favors) to the people in charge of your belief system.

Nothing to do with foreigners.

It is basically up to how much you want to (or can afford to) score.

[tutsiwarrior]

some years ago I attended a party for a young monk inductee at a wat and there was liquor and music and about 200 guests...the kid's family was vaguely related to the wife's family...and the kid inductee came over and expressed gratitude at our attendance and I bowed and congradulated him...

being a falang, no one asked me for money but I'm sure that the wife did the necessary when requested...

but then, it suddenly became time to go and a family associate who was a big guy escorted me to the transportation and fought off some drunken thais that wanted me to have a drink with them...and there was some unpleasantness...

then we were seated in the transportation and headed down the road and the MiL squeezed my arm and said: 'you were magnificent, tutsi...' while the wife fanned herself and sighed...

since then we've only ever been to a birthday party at the family village where I know everyone...the wife was not about to take me again to a party at a wat in the middle of the jungle otherwise...

[jonnyscot]

The monks party for my wife's brother about 8 years back cost about 40-45k, this included monks clothing, gifts for monks, music, marquee, tables/chairs etc, food was included but cooked by the family, included soft drinks but no alcohol

Jonny

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[endure]

What the OP needs to spell out is the connection between his questions and himself. Is he asking a generic question? What relation is he to the prospective monk that he's talking about? A stranger? A son? A stepson?

If he's asking the question about a close relative then he ought to realise that the journey into the monkhood, however short and however questionable the motives, is a very important rite of passage for many Thai males.

It might not be important to him - it might be hugely important to the Thai family.

[Bluetongue]

If the family cuts the cloth to suit their circumstances I don't see any reason to be negative about it. I have been to numerous events in homes, wats and even the street. There have been two such parties in our own family compound. Usually we go to an afternoon ceremony where the hair is cut, each attendee lines up and snips a bit of hair off. These are usually catered by the family often, not always, including beer and whisky/soda (but no bottle openers). Sometimes there is an evening party that follows with professional catering, even a band, singers and dancing girls. We might go to this if it is family or a close family friends parents, usually we hardly know the boys. Otherwise we just stick to the afternoon function which is really quite mild. Then early the next morning we often go to the wat where they are being inducted and participate in doing the three laps of the building and watch while he actually goes in, throws out the coins etc.

If you just had the afternoon event and the morning after and it was family catered they would turn it into one long session but the costs could be contained. Remember there are also robes and a host of other minor expenses which will add up. Even so you would not expect it to go to 50k. Add in that night time catered event and David 48s estimate is more or less on the button another 50k for 40 tables, plus more if you want the bells and whistles. The envelopes are collected at the night time event, the boy goes around to each table and his mother or sister will be following with a large bag to put them in. If it's just the daytime event then people will hand the envelope over to mother more or less when they arrive. The amounts therein, well, could be 20, more like 100, perhaps 200, and sometimes a ha rawy or a gorilla. Some money will be recouped. When we had a party here I lent the SIL 17k and got it back from the envelopes. Another time I donated 5k to a much poorer SIL. But I more or less recoup that in some form or another as the years pass.

Loong is right though, none of it actually makes merit, but in village circles it still reverberates.

[wayned]

Spot on!

[David48]

Spot on!

+1

Bluetounge ... mate thanks for shared your experience.

Agreeing with wayned ... spot on ...

Also endure makes some excellent points and asks some pertinent questions which need to be addressed.

.

[kawaiimomo]

Isaan girlfriend says her family spent between 20-30k for her older brother party. They brought a mor lam band, alcohol and food for almost the whole village, rented a car to drove the new monk around the village and to the wat, and bought clothes for the monks and so on. The family recovered less than 10k with the envelopes.

[CeeGee]

Thanks for all the information, just to clear up a few things.

It is my partners son (25) who we are talking about. I asked about the cost as my partner has a habit of just quoting figures which she thinks are right.( Ask her how long it takes to drive from A to B and she will quote a figure that bears no relationship to the actual time we do take)

The question about, if I am going to pay does not come into the equation.Also, I am not getting into the debate about the morality of paying out large sums for family events. How much do people in the West pay for weddings!! etc

If any payment is made towards it, it will be on a clearly understood loan.(Our is not a short term relationship and she fully understands what a loan is)paid back from the envelopes.

I have paid in the past for his education and the mother son relationship is very strong( the fact that I think he is a lazy little sod who will not use the brains he was born with has nothing to do with it)

He currently lives and works in the Nakhon Sawan Area(where his Mother comes from) and that's where the event will be held

She is looking at about 1200 baht per table for 200 people,food will be bought in not cooked by the family providing whiskey etc, monks and all the normal bells and whistles.I think it will be an all day event as she is from a large family.She also expects to recoup most, if not all the expenses from the envelopes.

So back to the original question, is her estimate of 100, 000 baht in the right ball park. Some posters seem to indicate that this figure is not far off being right, others seem to think anything above 30K is too much.

Thanks for all you assistance and any further information will be welcomed

Edited December 11, 2012 by CeeGee

[tutsiwarrior]

about 10 years ago the wife spent arond 60k for our house warming party with about 200 guests at a rented venue, a catered 7 course meal, booze, music with dancing girls and etc not including the donation to the wat to have the monks come over for the house blessing ceremony...I thought it to be a bit excessive but I could tell that putting on a good show was important to her...I never did pay any sin sod as it was never discussed so all around not a bad deal...

if you trust yer wife's ability to to organize the event and to get the best value for money I'd say not to worry...dishing out a little dough for an important family event is appreciated in ways that you will not find readily apparent but folks usually don't forget the contribution...

[Bluetongue]

200 people = 25 tables by 1200 = 30k. Includes some whisky. More alcohol would probably be required. Plus a band on a truck 6k?. Robes and other monk accoutrement, baubles, marquee, chairs, razor blades, they will buy more food. Flowers, mats, really the list goes on. When your partner is there there will be people pulling her sleeve all day long looking for money to buy this or that.

The bottom line is if you loan your partner 100k she will spend it, have no doubt. So from that view it is in the ballpark. Likewise if you loaned her 60k. Really we cant tell what specifically the family are organising as I said in my previous post. There are all sorts of ways to contain costs but you have to be there. Sharing with another family is sometimes a good idea. If your partner is directing the early arrangements for this activity from afar then the costs are likely to be higher, ie expectations are higher. As far as recouping 100k from the envelopes that would suggest a donation of 500baht per person I leave the likelihood of that happening to your imagination, maybe they are all wealthy farmers.

Having said all that I dont want to be the killjoy that dampens the occasion so at the end of the day it is up to you. You might have to hope for the best and grin and bear it. I know its hard with these young men, he will be cool as a cucumber and no thanks or acknowledgement to you.

[Bluetongue]

Duplicate.

To say something else. I do enjoy the band on a truck it is sure something to hear and see.

Edited December 12, 2012 by Bluetongue

[fareastguy]

50k - 60k would cover the cost for a reasonable event, offer that as up front money to be partially recouped from envelopes.. if she insists on a more elaborate party then tell her to ask her close family members to contribute to her sons event.

[CPH]

Many thais believe that the more people who comes to the party the more merit are gained. This is also being told by the munks. Also the more munks at the party the more merit gained. Thats the reason for these large parties. Some or maybe all of the expenses often comes back via donations from the guests.

There is no need to serve alcohol. There can be a stand where people can buy whisky and beer. This will also add a little income.