Son Of Thai Girl Demanding Money

[somtampet]

I suppose I'd have given him 10 baht, smiled, waited for the weekend or whatever to pass and then changed my sim card.

sounds like a brilliant idea. m y partner would have slapped her son for saying that

[bdenner]

The way I read this your not the 1st Farang to visit this household. The smart arsed 6 yo has had dealings with them in the past. They did a runner (or did they?) and that's exactly what I'd be doing. The little prick would only call me "Kee Nok" once.

[TheWalkingMan]

Great that your girl has a university education, but life education about showing respect to visitors to her home has not been learned. One thing that many of us have learned in our travels to Thailand is that many locals are wonderful/kind/respectful while others look at us as purely something that does not need to be respected and need to be relieved of cash.

[CWMcMurray]

Giving the benefit of the doubt to the girl....

I would guess that it is the grandparents that taught the kid this rather than the mother... As mom is working and left the kid in Isan to be raised by the parents

I also agree that the women should have stepped in and corrected her son on acting like this. My guess is that she did not and made this Thai culture excuse, as she has guilt issues about leaving her son with her parents.

She likely only sees him 2 or 3 times a year and does not want to be the bad guy or discipline him at all on the few occasions that she gets to see him

So even if no nefarious "farang = ATM" motive, she still has issues to work out.

Also if she has a good job and the kid is 6, can't understand why she does not bring him to BKK for school?

Even if single mom, if she has decent job, she can send him to school and hire someone to look after him after school for a few hours a day.

Or like some of the girls at our office... They will send their kids to school by the office and after school kids will be dropped off at the office and wait for an hour or two until they finish at work and then go home together

Edited December 12, 2012 by CWMcMurray

[lemoncake]

As people have asked for more information:

The Thai Lady left the village when 16.

She worked and studied iin Bangkok.

She has Bachelor of Administration from a government university and has a good well paid job by Thai standards working at the head office in Bangkok of the largest sugar cane company.

She is therefore no Bar Girl that I fell in love with because I am unable to attract and score with western girls................LOL

Her 2 children live with her mother and father in the village 40 kms south of Udon Thani.

The way i met the Thai Lady was that I was coming to Thailand to look at investment potential and change of life as the West and its currency is pretty much screwed for 10 years (i might write a posting about this). I went on a dating web site as thought it would be interesting to meet up with someone,

i could be wrong, but i think you been fed some lies there, if she left village at 16, she did not finish school, if she finished school in BKK, who paid?! then when did she have 2 kids? before uni, after uni or during uni?

Not picking on you or making fun, just pointing out some things that do not add up. Clearly someone taught the kid and allows the kid to speak this way, which only means that perhaps some parts of the story are not very true.

Also not sure if you were aware, but dating sites are full of freelancers, bar girls or just gold diggers. Think back to when you met her, did she chat with you all night long? if she did, how can she work day time and stay up all night.

Hope it helps, but the kid is definitely out of order and the fact that no one stopped him is a real warning sign

[Cashboy]

Giving the benefit of the doubt to the girl....

I would guess that it is the grandparents that taught the kid this rather than the mother... As mom is working and left the kid in Isan to be raised by the parents

I also agree that the women should have stepped in and corrected her son on acting like this. My guess is that she did not and made this Thai culture excuse, as she has guilt issues about leaving her son with her parents.

She likely only sees him 2 or 3 times a year and does not want to be the bad guy or discipline him at all on the few occasions that she gets to see him

So even if no nefarious "farang = ATM" motive, she still has issues to work out.

Also if she has a good job and the kid is 6, can't understand why she does not bring him to BKK for school?

Even if single mom, if she has decent job, she can send him to school and hire someone to look after him after school for a few hours a day.

Or like some of the girls at our office... They will send their kids to school by the office and after school kids will be dropped off at the office and wait for an hour or two until they finish at work and then go home together

Most of what you say regarding the Thai Lady only seeing the children 3 times a year is correct and I thought exactly the same as she would never shout or tell the children off even when they refused to do what she told them and kept buying them fizzy drinks and crisps.

I don't think the Thai Lady earns enough and it is cheaper to leave her 2 children with her mother and father that also look after the son of her divorced brother.

What surprised me from the visit was that her parents really are genuine and work hard. They were in their fields planting sugar cane for the 3 days I was there.

But I could not believe my eyes that the children would leave food not finish everything given to them if the fam ily was poor.

I also was shocked by the lack of discipline; the way the children played with toys and just left them (boy 9 years old) on the floor (my parents would have made me put them away or they would be in the dustbin) and the way they just left rubbish (drink bottles and packets) on the floor after eating even though there were dustbins within 3 metres (I would have been slapped and sent to bed for this).

I honestly believe that these so called "Thai poor kids" have a better easier life than I ever did.

[Briggsy]

Everything you say shouts that your values are way out of sync with your girlfriend's and her family's values. You have demonstrated you value discipline, respect, hard work and prudence. You have observed these are not being instilled into the kids.

Having common values is absolutely key in a relationship. This relationship will not blossom. You will be biting your tongue all the time.

[samran]

I'm Thai.

These aren't Thai values.

They are values of money grabbing hill billies.

If you want to associate with hill billies - then that is your choice. But your visit is a taste of things to come.

Don't say you haven't been warned.

[meatboy]

her mother and father also look after her divorced brothers kid ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,beware of the brother.

[arthurwait]

It doesn't add up.

Sorry.

Run.

[Cashboy]

As people have asked for more information:

The Thai Lady left the village when 16.

She worked and studied iin Bangkok.

She has Bachelor of Administration from a government university and has a good well paid job by Thai standards working at the head office in Bangkok of the largest sugar cane company.

She is therefore no Bar Girl that I fell in love with because I am unable to attract and score with western girls................LOL

Her 2 children live with her mother and father in the village 40 kms south of Udon Thani.

The way i met the Thai Lady was that I was coming to Thailand to look at investment potential and change of life as the West and its currency is pretty much screwed for 10 years (i might write a posting about this). I went on a dating web site as thought it would be interesting to meet up with someone,

i could be wrong, but i think you been fed some lies there, if she left village at 16, she did not finish school, if she finished school in BKK, who paid?! then when did she have 2 kids? before uni, after uni or during uni?

Not picking on you or making fun, just pointing out some things that do not add up. Clearly someone taught the kid and allows the kid to speak this way, which only means that perhaps some parts of the story are not very true.

Also not sure if you were aware, but dating sites are full of freelancers, bar girls or just gold diggers. Think back to when you met her, did she chat with you all night long? if she did, how can she work day time and stay up all night.

Hope it helps, but the kid is definitely out of order and the fact that no one stopped him is a real warning sign

She came to Bangkok and lived with relatives.

She started work cutting up fish in a factory.

Then she did a diploma (I think that is higher education)

She worked at Seagate assembling testing hard drives.

She was then as team leader at Panasonic testing TVs

She then worked for Thai Investment Industry while doing her BA. I think this was like Open University in UK as she did not obtain until 30 years old.

She now works for board of directors at HO of the largest sugar company churning out reports and information.

I have been to her office in Bangkok and she leaves at 7am and back at 6pm doing an 8 to 5 office job.

Her English spoken English was very poor but written good. The opposite of a bar girl I would assume.

She had the children while doing her diploma and went back to village for maternity leave and then return to Bangkok.

Regarding chatting. Often when she is at work on MSN and then again in the evening.

I have to say that when I am in Thailand she is not greedy.

When I am in Bangkok, she comes back to my hotel after work.

We stay in run of the mill hotels

She has even now suggested staying in her 20 M room to save money.

She is happy to travel by bus, Sky Train and Underground.

We eat in local restaurants as opposed to farang restaurants.

So in that respect I am pretty convinced she is genuine.

I was just shocked by the behaviour of the younger son and the fact that she did not intervene. If I as a child would have asked for money from a visiting person and told the visitor they were a tight arse; I would for sure would have been beaten up by my parents just for the start.

Edited December 12, 2012 by Cashboy

[turboturtle]

Obviously she wants you for your money and if you have some, why not give the kids 20 baht and find a new GF....?

[lemoncake]

As people have asked for more information:

The Thai Lady left the village when 16.

She worked and studied iin Bangkok.

She has Bachelor of Administration from a government university and has a good well paid job by Thai standards working at the head office in Bangkok of the largest sugar cane company.

She is therefore no Bar Girl that I fell in love with because I am unable to attract and score with western girls................LOL

Her 2 children live with her mother and father in the village 40 kms south of Udon Thani.

The way i met the Thai Lady was that I was coming to Thailand to look at investment potential and change of life as the West and its currency is pretty much screwed for 10 years (i might write a posting about this). I went on a dating web site as thought it would be interesting to meet up with someone,

i could be wrong, but i think you been fed some lies there, if she left village at 16, she did not finish school, if she finished school in BKK, who paid?! then when did she have 2 kids? before uni, after uni or during uni?

Not picking on you or making fun, just pointing out some things that do not add up. Clearly someone taught the kid and allows the kid to speak this way, which only means that perhaps some parts of the story are not very true.

Also not sure if you were aware, but dating sites are full of freelancers, bar girls or just gold diggers. Think back to when you met her, did she chat with you all night long? if she did, how can she work day time and stay up all night.

Hope it helps, but the kid is definitely out of order and the fact that no one stopped him is a real warning sign

She came to Bangkok and lived with relatives.

She started work cutting up fish in a factory.

Then she did a diploma (I think that is higher education)

She worked at Seagate assembling testing hard drives.

She was then as team leader at Panasonic testing TVs

She then worked for Thai Investment Industry while doing her BA. I think this was like Open University in UK as she did not obtain until 30 years old.

She now works for board of directors at HO of the largest sugar company churning out reports and information.

I have been to her office in Bangkok and she leaves at 7am and back at 6pm doing an 8 to 5 office job.

Her English spoken English was very poor but written good. The opposite of a bar girl I would assume.

She had the children while doing her diploma and went back to village for maternity leave and then return to Bangkok.

Regarding chatting. Often when she is at work on MSN and then again in the evening.

I have to say that when I am in Thailand she is not greedy.

When I am in Bangkok, she comes back to my hotel after work.

We stay in run of the mill hotels

She has even now suggested staying in her 20 M room to save money.

She is happy to travel by bus, Sky Train and Underground.

We eat in local restaurants as opposed to farang restaurants.

So in that respect I am pretty convinced she is genuine.

I was just shocked by the behaviour of the younger son and the fact that she did not intervene. If I as a child would have asked for money from a visiting person and told the visitor they were a tight arse; I would for sure would have been beaten up by my parents just for the start.

As I said, I may well be wrong, but Samran said it well in early post. Even assuming she is decent girl with values, then it is her parents who "train" the kid . If parents teach him that, perhaps they taught her the same.

Anyhow I think you have enough advice here from expats and Thai people to make your own decision

[scotto]

Tell her you are (sammi john) husband broke then see what happens?

if she hangs around well all good if she loses interest real quick you no the real motives

my five cents worth

[cbrer]

Why is there always children and a village?

[Scully]

One of my Ex gfs was in a similar situation where she had a son but had to work away, also near Udon.

Her parents looked after her son and he was spoilt rotten. My ex was horrified by the way she was brought up in a strict environment and her son the complete opposite. She soon disciplined him and after a few weeks everyone could see him turn into a better lad. Young boys in Thailand are treated like gods and grandparents often kill them with kindness.

This boy is getting everything he wants and her mum needs to take responsibility for him. Thai kids show respect for their elders and calling you stingy is not respect.

You did right not to pay but you also need to make everyone aware you won't stand for crap.

Talk to your girlfriend as its not normal or acceptable behavior.

[lemoncake]

One of my Ex gfs was in a similar situation where she had a son but had to work away, also near Udon.

Her parents looked after her son and he was spoilt rotten. My ex was horrified by the way she was brought up in a strict environment and her son the complete opposite. She soon disciplined him and after a few weeks everyone could see him turn into a better lad. Young boys in Thailand are treated like gods and grandparents often kill them with kindness.

This boy is getting everything he wants and her mum needs to take responsibility for him. Thai kids show respect for their elders and calling you stingy is not respect.

You did right not to pay but you also need to make everyone aware you won't stand for crap.

Talk to your girlfriend as its not normal or acceptable behavior.

Only keenok does not mean stingy, keenok means "birds shit" while the meaning behind is the same, "keenok" is rather a profanity and total disrespect.

[TommoPhysicist]

She is therefore no Bar Girl that I fell in love with because I am unable to attract and score with western girls................LOL

Her 2 children live with her mother and father in the village 40 kms south of Udon Thani.

How did she manage to have two children?

Why are they living with her parents?

Sounds like a serial foreigner hunter at best, freelancer at worst, dating sites are full of them.

You will never be told their real past.

Edited December 12, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Briggsy]

One of my Ex gfs was in a similar situation where she had a son but had to work away, also near Udon.

Her parents looked after her son and he was spoilt rotten. My ex was horrified by the way she was brought up in a strict environment and her son the complete opposite. She soon disciplined him and after a few weeks everyone could see him turn into a better lad. Young boys in Thailand are treated like gods and grandparents often kill them with kindness.

This boy is getting everything he wants and her mum needs to take responsibility for him. Thai kids show respect for their elders and calling you stingy is not respect.

You did right not to pay but you also need to make everyone aware you won't stand for crap.

Talk to your girlfriend as its not normal or acceptable behavior.

Only keenok does not mean stingy, keenok means "birds shit" while the meaning behind is the same, "keenok" is rather a profanity and total disrespect.

Oh no, not this old chestnut again.

Farang means both a white westerner and guava.

There is a jungle fruit whose name in Thai is farang khee nok. Here is a picture I took personally in Chaiyaphum.

The name of this fruit farang khee nok has the alternative derogatory meaning of a cheapskate Westerner.

[lemoncake]

One of my Ex gfs was in a similar situation where she had a son but had to work away, also near Udon.

Her parents looked after her son and he was spoilt rotten. My ex was horrified by the way she was brought up in a strict environment and her son the complete opposite. She soon disciplined him and after a few weeks everyone could see him turn into a better lad. Young boys in Thailand are treated like gods and grandparents often kill them with kindness.

This boy is getting everything he wants and her mum needs to take responsibility for him. Thai kids show respect for their elders and calling you stingy is not respect.

You did right not to pay but you also need to make everyone aware you won't stand for crap.

Talk to your girlfriend as its not normal or acceptable behavior.

Only keenok does not mean stingy, keenok means "birds shit" while the meaning behind is the same, "keenok" is rather a profanity and total disrespect.

Oh no, not this old chestnut again.

Farang means both a white westerner and guava.

There is a jungle fruit whose name in Thai is farang khee nok. Here is a picture I took personally in Chaiyaphum.

The name of this fruit farang khee nok has the alternative derogatory meaning of a cheapskate Westerner.

very good, only the kid did not say farang keenok, according to OP, but said only keenok, which as i clearly said does ALSO mean a stingy/cheapskate but is a profanity or as you like to call it derogatory.

Kid could have said "kiniyao" but chose the "keenok".

[Briggsy]

Lemoncake

So you did. I apologise for my preaching tone.

[Scully]

Only keenok does not mean stingy, keenok means "birds shit" while the meaning behind is the same, "keenok" is rather a profanity and total disrespect.

Keenok does mean stingy, but as you say direct translation means bird crap. Anyway not relevant as I agree as the child is showing disrespect.

Edit: just reread your post and I think you agree, same mistake as Briggsy

Edited December 12, 2012 by Scully

[TommoPhysicist]

If you don't like the kids, don't take on the mother.

[mike123ca]

I have two children ages 7 and 4 years old. i'm the only person who speaks English to them on a regular basis. I have never spoken any bad language in English to the kids. I've used a substitute word " bad monkey". When they speak English and they want to use a bad word to describe something they are using this word.

They also speak Thai and have many Thai family, friends and school mates.

They seem to have picked up on all the bad Thai words.

As for asking for money, My kids are always asking for money, but I don't recall them asking other people for money. I've never

encountered any other children asking me for money.

[lemoncake]

Lemoncake

So you did. I apologise for my preaching tone.

[MrRed]

Seems to me that if you are taking something as this so seriously you are in for a very tough ride down the road,a kid asking for money is normal especially as you are his surrogate father(if only for a weekend visit)he was probably badgered into asking for it by the parents so hardly his fault.

Like i said best to look for another lady without kids if something trivial like this gets to you.

If the mother had any respect for you she would of sorted it straight away in front of you.

Move on.

[methaigirl]

I"M that woman you talking about ! It is customary that you should perform with children If you visit Issan, We are not poor and not rich ,i was tell him to give a little money to children bcos that Show children to like him bcos i'm divoreced with husbrand for more than 1 year my sons still not need to have new farther . and they not need .i just thinking if he can play with my sons or if he Interesting to make my sons can accept him to to be with me .that i will happy ,but he not interesting about how to do with children,how to make children love ,Yes money not improtant to make children happy but this is for begin friendly ,

Edited December 13, 2012 by methaigirl

[methaigirl]

Like me when i'm had been visit friends or everyone i must to give money to her mom or her kids..It is customary that you should perform.and when i go visit my family (I work in bkk) i must to give a bit money for all Grandchild tooo This is It is customary that you should perform ..Although i'm not have too much money but just 10-20 bt I can give i will ,, children call KEENOK Do you know What mean of Keenok It mean Farang not rich andstingy ,, KeeNok It better To Call "Bufalo" ,, I never teach my sons rube or vulgar .and They still CHILDREN They know nothing .too many farang stay in my town. my cousin have husband farang and when they com visit they give a littile money to all grandchildren and all like to play with him somefarang love kids some farang not like i understand this ..

I Choose my sons >> I will write more if i have Free time BYe BYE my english is still Bad for come to this forum

Edited December 14, 2012 by metisdead
: Tiny font reset to normal.

[MrRed]

Welcome to the forum methaigirl ..........so tell us what happened? who tell you about Thai Visa and your ex boyfriend posting about you!

[rgs2001uk]

Like me when i'm had been visit friends or everyone i must to give money to her mom or her kids..It is customary that you should perform.and when i go visit my family (I work in bkk) i must to give a bit money for all Grandchild tooo This is It is customary that you should perform ..Although i'm not have too much money but just 10-20 bt I can give i will ,, children call KEENOK Do you know What mean of Keenok It mean Farang not rich andstingy ,, KeeNok It better To Call "Bufalo" ,, I never teach my sons rube or vulgar .and They still CHILDREN They know nothing .too many farang stay in my town. my cousin have husband farang and when they com visit they give a littile money to all grandchildren and all like to play with him somefarang love kids some farang not like i understand this ..

I Choose my sons >> I will write more if i have Free time BYe BYE my english is still Bad for come to this forum

Like me when i'm had been visit friends or everyone i must to give money to her mom or her kids..It is customary that you should perform.and when i go visit my family (I work in bkk) i must to give a bit money for all Grandchild tooo This is It is customary that you should perform ..Although i'm not have too much money but just 10-20 bt I can give i will ,, children call KEENOK Do you know What mean of Keenok It mean Farang not rich andstingy ,, KeeNok It better To Call "Bufalo" ,, I never teach my sons rube or vulgar .and They still CHILDREN They know nothing .too many farang stay in my town. my cousin have husband farang and when they com visit they give a littile money to all grandchildren and all like to play with him somefarang love kids some farang not like i understand this ..

I Choose my sons >> I will write more if i have Free time BYe BYE my english is still Bad for come to this forum

Thats the beauty of TV, you can post any old tosh and some poor sucker will take it as gospel.

The above post must be a wind up, what a croc.

Like me when i'm had been visit friends or everyone i must to give money to her mom or her kid

Someone had best get down here and tell this to my mrs.

Have never seen my mrs or any other Thai give money to a friends mother when visiting.