' America's Most Wanted Deadbeat Dad' Arrested After Fleeing To Thailand

[BookMan]

Take a good look into the suicide rates of ex husbands that have been persecuted by the system to the point that they took the option of ending their lives because of the emotional strain of it all and the humiliation and persecution & hoplessness that goes with it,.. the numbers will shock you!

If you have some stats and numbers then show them, or the link.

It's hard to be shocked by idle speculation.

[HerbalEd]

Poor chap, how can anybody justify such large awards, I don't blame him a bit for not paying.

Couldn't the mothers just get a job like everyone else has to?

Yeah ... screw his children, right?

[nokbird]

I think it goes both ways, some women "milk" the system and on the other extreme some guys are just jerks about it. Both extreams are really nasty or the other side. Sad really poeple can't be normal.

[MongersSyndicate]

I could never understand why people would ever marry or have children. Such a voluntary waste of time, energy and efforts is beyond me.

Everyone with logic can see beforehand that it's total crap, but they do it anyway, thinking it will turn out differently for them.

Now they have to pay for life. To each his own I guess.

[chooka]

Take a good look into the suicide rates of ex husbands that have been persecuted by the system to the point that they took the option of ending their lives because of the emotional strain of it all and the humiliation and persecution & hoplessness that goes with it,.. the numbers will shock you!

If you have some stats and numbers then show them, or the link.

It's hard to be shocked by idle speculation.

Divorce Main Reason for male suicide

http://<deleted>-blog.blogspot.com/2008/08/divorce-main-reason-for-male-suicide.html

Total Suicides: 30,000 per year

Men's Suicides: 22,500 per year

Women's Suicides: 7,500 per year

Divorced/Separated Men's Suicides: 14,850 per year.

Kposowa also notes: "If a man loses custody of the children and the woman keeps those children, there are situations whereby she may not allow the man to see the children, and that causes some depression." -No kidding.

Suicidal divorced men are merely slaves leaping from the decks

– consider the facts:

• Most marriages end in divorce – over 60% by my numbers.
  
• 66% of these are initiated by the wife and few of them for abuse or any real fault. -No-fault divorces are initiated by women three times as often as by men.
  
• The courts award physical custody to the man about 3% of the time – the odds are 40 to 1 against the man winning physical custody.
  
• Truly shared custody is so rare that the courts don’t even know how to calculate support for it – their spreadsheets don’t support it. They have to fill out one for the father as primary, and one for the mother, and then average the two. - I believe that loss of access to one’s children and alienation are key factors in male suicide.
  
• Women commonly interfere with the visitation rights of the ex husband. 75% of men complain of this behavior, and 40% of women admit it. If one assumes complaints are lower than the actual number of abuses, the numbers must be staggering.
  
• Add the loss of the vast majority of the marital assets and the house, and everything that the man has worked for, financial contributions being where men are expected to excel, and what they are supposed to judge themselves by, and you have taken away a lot of the reasons that men have to live.
  
• Add alimony and child support, all while not being allowed to co-parent your own children.
  
• Add to all this the fact that the state’s machinery grinds very finely – loss of a job, ‘underemployment’, and bankruptcy are good enough reasons to lose almost any debt, but not alimony and child support, no, these continue unabated, plus penalties and legal fees.
  
• And if our poor man is unlucky enough to lose his job, or become ‘underemployed’, then the legal system in many of our states, including NJ, will take 60-65% of his income, even unemployment, irregardless of what his spouse is earning. Imagine, a spouse with a $150,000 salary, collecting 65% of the income of a man scratching by on $405 per week unemployment, or a $40,000/year job. NJ would do it in a heartbeat. I bet they already have.
  

[animatic]

The man is taking his unhappiness with his ex-wives out on his children and that is low.

So you pay the woman, it's expected to help YOUR children.

I've helped out children who weren't even mine,

so I can hardly understand someone who stiffs his own.

[TommoPhysicist]

The man is taking his unhappiness with his ex-wives out on his children and that is low.

So you pay the woman, it's expected to help YOUR children.

I've helped out children who weren't even mine,

so I can hardly understand someone who stiffs his own.

I take a different line.

I pay totally for those children that live with me, mine or not, I don't expect or need contributions from anyone else. Those that don't live with me can get money from someone else, and hell will freeze over before I give a red cent. Up to the mother (and the court) who they live with, she want's em 100%, she can pay for em 100%.

Edited December 20, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[sbk]

Take a good look into the suicide rates of ex husbands that have been persecuted by the system to the point that they took the option of ending their lives because of the emotional strain of it all and the humiliation and persecution & hoplessness that goes with it,.. the numbers will shock you!

If you have some stats and numbers then show them, or the link.

It's hard to be shocked by idle speculation.

Divorce Main Reason for male suicide

http://<deleted>-blog.blo...le-suicide.html

Total Suicides: 30,000 per year

Men's Suicides: 22,500 per year

Women's Suicides: 7,500 per year

Divorced/Separated Men's Suicides: 14,850 per year.

Kposowa also notes: "If a man loses custody of the children and the woman keeps those children, there are situations whereby she may not allow the man to see the children, and that causes some depression." -No kidding.

Suicidal divorced men are merely slaves leaping from the decks

– consider the facts:

• Most marriages end in divorce – over 60% by my numbers.
  
• 66% of these are initiated by the wife and few of them for abuse or any real fault. -No-fault divorces are initiated by women three times as often as by men.
  
• The courts award physical custody to the man about 3% of the time – the odds are 40 to 1 against the man winning physical custody.
  
• Truly shared custody is so rare that the courts don’t even know how to calculate support for it – their spreadsheets don’t support it. They have to fill out one for the father as primary, and one for the mother, and then average the two. - I believe that loss of access to one’s children and alienation are key factors in male suicide.
  
• Women commonly interfere with the visitation rights of the ex husband. 75% of men complain of this behavior, and 40% of women admit it. If one assumes complaints are lower than the actual number of abuses, the numbers must be staggering.
  
• Add the loss of the vast majority of the marital assets and the house, and everything that the man has worked for, financial contributions being where men are expected to excel, and what they are supposed to judge themselves by, and you have taken away a lot of the reasons that men have to live.
  
• Add alimony and child support, all while not being allowed to co-parent your own children.
  
• Add to all this the fact that the state’s machinery grinds very finely – loss of a job, ‘underemployment’, and bankruptcy are good enough reasons to lose almost any debt, but not alimony and child support, no, these continue unabated, plus penalties and legal fees.
  
• And if our poor man is unlucky enough to lose his job, or become ‘underemployed’, then the legal system in many of our states, including NJ, will take 60-65% of his income, even unemployment, irregardless of what his spouse is earning. Imagine, a spouse with a $150,000 salary, collecting 65% of the income of a man scratching by on $405 per week unemployment, or a $40,000/year job. NJ would do it in a heartbeat. I bet they already have.
  

Hi, this appears to be a link to a blog.. Citing the original CBS news story might be a better idea

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2000/03/14/broadcasts/main172016.shtml

[chooka]

Take a good look into the suicide rates of ex husbands that have been persecuted by the system to the point that they took the option of ending their lives because of the emotional strain of it all and the humiliation and persecution & hoplessness that goes with it,.. the numbers will shock you!

If you have some stats and numbers then show them, or the link.

It's hard to be shocked by idle speculation.

Divorce Main Reason for male suicide

http://<deleted>-blog.blo...le-suicide.html

Total Suicides: 30,000 per year

Men's Suicides: 22,500 per year

Women's Suicides: 7,500 per year

Divorced/Separated Men's Suicides: 14,850 per year.

Kposowa also notes: "If a man loses custody of the children and the woman keeps those children, there are situations whereby she may not allow the man to see the children, and that causes some depression." -No kidding.

Suicidal divorced men are merely slaves leaping from the decks

– consider the facts:

• Most marriages end in divorce – over 60% by my numbers.
  
• 66% of these are initiated by the wife and few of them for abuse or any real fault. -No-fault divorces are initiated by women three times as often as by men.
  
• The courts award physical custody to the man about 3% of the time – the odds are 40 to 1 against the man winning physical custody.
  
• Truly shared custody is so rare that the courts don’t even know how to calculate support for it – their spreadsheets don’t support it. They have to fill out one for the father as primary, and one for the mother, and then average the two. - I believe that loss of access to one’s children and alienation are key factors in male suicide.
  
• Women commonly interfere with the visitation rights of the ex husband. 75% of men complain of this behavior, and 40% of women admit it. If one assumes complaints are lower than the actual number of abuses, the numbers must be staggering.
  
• Add the loss of the vast majority of the marital assets and the house, and everything that the man has worked for, financial contributions being where men are expected to excel, and what they are supposed to judge themselves by, and you have taken away a lot of the reasons that men have to live.
  
• Add alimony and child support, all while not being allowed to co-parent your own children.
  
• Add to all this the fact that the state’s machinery grinds very finely – loss of a job, ‘underemployment’, and bankruptcy are good enough reasons to lose almost any debt, but not alimony and child support, no, these continue unabated, plus penalties and legal fees.
  
• And if our poor man is unlucky enough to lose his job, or become ‘underemployed’, then the legal system in many of our states, including NJ, will take 60-65% of his income, even unemployment, irregardless of what his spouse is earning. Imagine, a spouse with a $150,000 salary, collecting 65% of the income of a man scratching by on $405 per week unemployment, or a $40,000/year job. NJ would do it in a heartbeat. I bet they already have.
  

Hi, this appears to be a link to a blog.. Citing the original CBS news story might be a better idea

http://www.cbsnews.c...ain172016.shtml

it was just an example, there are hundreds of reports showing that divorced men lead suicide rates caused by financial hardship and the like on the web.

[Asiantravel]

It is not always black and white. These child protection agencies like they have in USA and UK can be totally ruthless and can seem quite unjust at times.

What about situations where the wife remarries perhaps to an even wealthier person? I have heard instances in the UK where the child protection agency completely disregards the financial circumstances of the subsequent husband and still relentlessly pursues the father no matter how hard up he may be

[BookMan]

Divorce Main Reason for male suicide

http://<deleted>-blog.blo...le-suicide.html

Total Suicides: 30,000 per year

Men's Suicides: 22,500 per year

Women's Suicides: 7,500 per year

Divorced/Separated Men's Suicides: 14,850 per year.

Kposowa also notes: "If a man loses custody of the children and the woman keeps those children, there are situations whereby she may not allow the man to see the children, and that causes some depression." -No kidding.

Suicidal divorced men are merely slaves leaping from the decks

– consider the facts:

• Most marriages end in divorce – over 60% by my numbers.
  
• 66% of these are initiated by the wife and few of them for abuse or any real fault. -No-fault divorces are initiated by women three times as often as by men.
  
• The courts award physical custody to the man about 3% of the time – the odds are 40 to 1 against the man winning physical custody.
  
• Truly shared custody is so rare that the courts don’t even know how to calculate support for it – their spreadsheets don’t support it. They have to fill out one for the father as primary, and one for the mother, and then average the two. - I believe that loss of access to one’s children and alienation are key factors in male suicide.
  
• Women commonly interfere with the visitation rights of the ex husband. 75% of men complain of this behavior, and 40% of women admit it. If one assumes complaints are lower than the actual number of abuses, the numbers must be staggering.
  
• Add the loss of the vast majority of the marital assets and the house, and everything that the man has worked for, financial contributions being where men are expected to excel, and what they are supposed to judge themselves by, and you have taken away a lot of the reasons that men have to live.
  
• Add alimony and child support, all while not being allowed to co-parent your own children.
  
• Add to all this the fact that the state’s machinery grinds very finely – loss of a job, ‘underemployment’, and bankruptcy are good enough reasons to lose almost any debt, but not alimony and child support, no, these continue unabated, plus penalties and legal fees.
  
• And if our poor man is unlucky enough to lose his job, or become ‘underemployed’, then the legal system in many of our states, including NJ, will take 60-65% of his income, even unemployment, irregardless of what his spouse is earning. Imagine, a spouse with a $150,000 salary, collecting 65% of the income of a man scratching by on $405 per week unemployment, or a $40,000/year job. NJ would do it in a heartbeat. I bet they already have.
  

Hi, this appears to be a link to a blog.. Citing the original CBS news story might be a better idea

http://www.cbsnews.c...ain172016.shtml

it was just an example, there are hundreds of reports showing that divorced men lead suicide rates caused by financial hardship and the like on the web.

This survey does not support EarthAliens point chooka.

I know you like your stats, but these stats just say that men are more likely to commit suicide if separated or divorced,

It does not give any numbers relating directly to the financial 'persecution' of divorce relating directly to suicide numbers.

I am happy to believe that the numbers will shock me, it is just I want to see the actual factual numbers.

Edited December 20, 2012 by BookMan

[Lancelot]

Mr Sand looks familiar. Was he by chance doing business in Pattaya and advertised hi business on TV? Not too smart if its the guy I'm thinking of...

[LomSak27]

a Deadbeat Hub !

Bravo to the Daily Mail ! Their article states something that always seems to be a problem for Thai Papers to state precisely or even acknowledge exists

"The U.S. doesn't have an extradition agreement with Thailand"

Unlike other nations, extradition is done on a case by case basis, and by goodwill ... if the mood is right we extradite tonight, but no agreement, no treaty, nada. Whenever there is a call to extradite (say a former PM) that fact is deliberatly obfuscated

Edited December 20, 2012 by LomSak27

[Jimi007]

If you make a child, you should help raise it. My wife left me when my daughter was 5. I volunteered in her schools, got her to and from school and helped in any way I could. But I also fought for and got joint custody. That was back in the 1980s in California. I was still discriminated against as a man by the judge. But we worked out a mutual agreement to benefit our child, not ourselves. This guy didn't seem to take any responsibility and now is paying the price. Tuff sh-t! You have kids, they are your responsibility! Mine turned out pretty well, despite the divorce. She's now 25 with an BA and a job in her degree... I'm proud to be her Dad!

[chooka]

a Deadbeat Hub !

Bravo to the Daily Mail ! Their article states something that always seems to be a problem for Thai Papers to state precisely or even acknowledge exists

"The U.S. doesn't have an extradition agreement with Thailand"

Unlike other nations, extradition is done on a case by case basis, and by goodwill ... if the mood is right we extradite tonight, but no agreement, no treaty, nada. Whenever there is a call to extradite (say a former PM) that fact is deliberatly obfuscated

He was actually arrested in and extradicted from the Phillipines and NOT Thailand. The heading of this story is a little misleading. He had been to Thailand previously like so many other tourists but but not when arrested. The BIB can't claim this one.

Edited December 20, 2012 by chooka

[Jim walker]

At least he has come to the right place Thailand is defiantly the worlds hub for dead beat dads.

[Dap]

I think it goes both ways, some women "milk" the system and on the other extreme some guys are just jerks about it. Both extreams are really nasty or the other side. Sad really poeple can't be normal.

Ummm, Please take offense but, seems you just laid out the "norm" and not the "extremes".

[I Like Thai]

It is not always black and white. These child protection agencies like they have in USA and UK can be totally ruthless and can seem quite unjust at times.

What about situations where the wife remarries perhaps to an even wealthier person? I have heard instances in the UK where the child protection agency completely disregards the financial circumstances of the subsequent husband and still relentlessly pursues the father no matter how hard up he may be

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is,

A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

[Asiantravel]

It is not always black and white. These child protection agencies like they have in USA and UK can be totally ruthless and can seem quite unjust at times.

What about situations where the wife remarries perhaps to an even wealthier person? I have heard instances in the UK where the child protection agency completely disregards the financial circumstances of the subsequent husband and still relentlessly pursues the father no matter how hard up he may be

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is,

A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

like I said things are not always so black and white

And what if the father was not responsible for the breakup of a marriage? What is the wife had committed adultery and had simply decided to run off with a wealthier new guy? What if the wife denied proper visiting rights or access by the father to the children? Would he still deserve to be screwed?

[F430murci]

It is not always black and white. These child protection agencies like they have in USA and UK can be totally ruthless and can seem quite unjust at times.

What about situations where the wife remarries perhaps to an even wealthier person? I have heard instances in the UK where the child protection agency completely disregards the financial circumstances of the subsequent husband and still relentlessly pursues the father no matter how hard up he may be

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is,

A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

like I said things are not always so black and white

And what if the father was not responsible for the breakup of a marriage? What is the wife had committed adultery and had simply decided to run off with a wealthier new guy? What if the wife denied proper visiting rights or access by the father to the children? Would he still deserve to be screwed?

Why would he not take care of his children and still try to be a part of their lives. Bad shit happens, but it is not childrens' fault he chose unwisely or if acted badly causing wife to split or have affair.

Did dude quiting his job and splitting over seas send backany money to his children while over seas. I tend to doubt it if he was ducking the system and using fake documents and an assumed identity. Sounds like he did nothing but duck out to other countries, purchase a business and make sure he took care of himself.

Candidly, it is up to the system to judge him not me. He had to mess up pretty bad though to become number 1 deadbeat dad and for US to go through trouble to extradite him.

[TommoPhysicist]

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is, A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

I take care of another mans children, because they live with me and call me dad.

If my children live with another man, I would expect him to take care of them.

I don't really understand this 'biology is everything' rant that so many support.

Surely our civilisation is beyond the purely animal stage ............

[BookMan]

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is, A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

I take care of another mans children, because they live with me and call me dad.

If my children live with another man, I would expect him to take care of them.

I don't really understand this 'biology is everything' rant that so many support.

Surely our civilisation is beyond the purely animal stage ............

Oh come on Tommo!

So if you have 3 children, live with them for say 10-12 years, your wife leaves for another man and gets custody, you would then expect the other man to look after them? You would not financially support or take care of them at all?

[TommoPhysicist]

So if you have 3 children, live with them for say 10-12 years, your wife leaves for another man and gets custody, you would then expect the other man to look after them? You would not financially support or take care of them at all?

Did it with 2 of mine actually, don't support them, don't see them, don't care about them, don't care what they think of me.

But I am looking after 2 of someone else's.

[F430murci]

So if you have 3 children, live with them for say 10-12 years, your wife leaves for another man and gets custody, you would then expect the other man to look after them? You would not financially support or take care of them at all?

Did it with 2 of mine actually, don't support them, don't see them, don't care about them, don't care what they think of me.

But I am looking after 2 of someone else's.

I pity anyone who can turn their back in their own children and brag about. Very selfish and damaging to the children unless of course dad is a dead beat violent alcoholic the children do not want to be around. But alas, that is damaging to children also not to have a connection or feel lived by their REAL father. Issues like this are the factors denigrating our society.

[I Like Thai]

like I said things are not always so black and white

And what if the father was not responsible for the breakup of a marriage? What is the wife had committed adultery and had simply decided to run off with a wealthier new guy? What if the wife denied proper visiting rights or access by the father to the children? Would he still deserve to be screwed?

It doesn't matter who broke up the marriage. All that is important is the welfare of the child. As the Father of the child, he has the responsibility to take care of children he produced. End of story.

Because the wealthier man doesn't have any financial responsibility to take care of another mans children, no matter how hard up he is, A Father takes care of his own children and shouldn't expect another man to do it for him.

I take care of another mans children, because they live with me and call me dad.

If my children live with another man, I would expect him to take care of them.

I don't really understand this 'biology is everything' rant that so many support.

Surely our civilisation is beyond the purely animal stage ............

Just because you might expect something, that doesn't mean it is the case. You are taking care of 3 children that you're not the Father of, this just means that the children got lucky.

If your own children are being well cared for by another man, then that also means they got lucky.

Children shouldn't have to rely on good luck when it comes to their support. If they have a living Father then they should have his care and protection. Expecting that someone else might do it, might not work out well.

Edited December 20, 2012 by I Like Thai

[simple1]

So if you have 3 children, live with them for say 10-12 years, your wife leaves for another man and gets custody, you would then expect the other man to look after them? You would not financially support or take care of them at all?

Did it with 2 of mine actually, don't support them, don't see them, don't care about them, don't care what they think of me.

But I am looking after 2 of someone else's.

I pity anyone who can turn their back in their own children and brag about. Very selfish and damaging to the children unless of course dad is a dead beat violent alcoholic the children do not want to be around. But alas, that is damaging to children also not to have a connection or feel lived by their REAL father. Issues like this are the factors denigrating our society.

I never met my father as he deserted my mother when he found out she was pregnant. I do not have any awareness of damage to my physiology or emotional wellness. Mother never married. Unless their was abuse in the family, from my personal experience, I believe their is a lot of BS around the father/mother & poor little me dialogue in Western society;

[TommoPhysicist]

I never met my father as he deserted my mother when he found out she was pregnant. I do not have any awareness of damage to my physiology or emotional wellness. Mother never married. Unless their was abuse in the family, from my personal experience, I believe their is a lot of BS around the father/mother & poor little me dialogue in Western society;

Well said!

[F430murci]

So if you have 3 children, live with them for say 10-12 years, your wife leaves for another man and gets custody, you would then expect the other man to look after them? You would not financially support or take care of them at all?

Did it with 2 of mine actually, don't support them, don't see them, don't care about them, don't care what they think of me.

But I am looking after 2 of someone else's.

I pity anyone who can turn their back in their own children and brag about. Very selfish and damaging to the children unless of course dad is a dead beat violent alcoholic the children do not want to be around. But alas, that is damaging to children also not to have a connection or feel lived by their REAL father. Issues like this are the factors denigrating our society.

I never met my father as he deserted my mother when he found out she was pregnant. I do not have any awareness of damage to my physiology or emotional wellness. Mother never married. Unless their was abuse in the family, from my personal experience, I believe their is a lot of BS around the father/mother & poor little me dialogue in Western society;

Not making light of your situation, but do you not think it much harder on children that knew and lived with their dad to suddenly have their dad gone and not wanting to speak to them any more. Children feel abandoned and don't understand.

Even adopted kids will get that deep urge to make connection with biological parents.

[maidu]

Three kids, not many. I've known American guys (who probably typify men everywhere) who have had several wives and truckloads of kids they don't even send a b'day card to. My elder brother, who is a Bible-thumping Christian, has been married over 6 times and has at least 10 kids and doesn't pay a penny for any of them. The bass player for the Wailers (Bob Marley's band) has contributed to nearly 100 kids who don't have their natural father. He won't acknowledge them. In many countries, men who make dozens of kids without providing support are actually celebrated as being virile. It's sick to the 10th degree! Thailand has no laws which compel a deadbeat dad to provide any support for any kids he's sired and abandoned. It's one of the things which piss me off the most about Thailand.

[simple1]

Did it with 2 of mine actually, don't support them, don't see them, don't care about them, don't care what they think of me.

But I am looking after 2 of someone else's.

I pity anyone who can turn their back in their own children and brag about. Very selfish and damaging to the children unless of course dad is a dead beat violent alcoholic the children do not want to be around. But alas, that is damaging to children also not to have a connection or feel lived by their REAL father. Issues like this are the factors denigrating our society.

I never met my father as he deserted my mother when he found out she was pregnant. I do not have any awareness of damage to my physiology or emotional wellness. Mother never married. Unless their was abuse in the family, from my personal experience, I believe their is a lot of BS around the father/mother & poor little me dialogue in Western society;

Not making light of your situation, but do you not think it much harder on children that knew and lived with their dad to suddenly have their dad gone and not wanting to speak to them any more. Children feel abandoned and don't understand.

Even adopted kids will get that deep urge to make connection with biological parents.

Well I never hard the "deep urge" to try & locate my biological father (from my mother I knew his name and nationality). I came to the conclusion that as he had never contacted my mother or I, why bother. You know, the old expression, "get a life" don't hang around like a wet blanket.