Our Progress In Our Sober Runs

[JemJem]

Why don't we write about our progress in our sober runs. I am sure it will be good to share things.

It is still early days for me. Today is sober day no. 6 for me. I haven't had the urge to drink yet in that short period but I know that the urge will come soon; and then, every now and then of course.

Boredom and being down are two dangerous things for me (and I am sure this is the case for many of you). I guess when boredom strikes, I should be able to deal with it because I plan to do lots of reading and also take up some new hobbies. But, being down is and will always be a big challange and that's when I often resort to drinking.

Anyway, more later. Cheers.

[GrahamF]

I remember from an earlier thread that you have decided not to go with AA, and that's fine. I would suggest that you might want to think about going to a meeting once in awhile as long as you are serious about not drinking at all. It might be a good way to meet other like minded people and to have some non-drinking friends, and it may help to alleviate your boredom.. As long as you have a desire to stop drinking you're welcome, if you want to sit quietly and listen, that is your choice.

Again, best of luck!

[JemJem]

I remember from an earlier thread that you have decided not to go with AA, and that's fine. I would suggest that you might want to think about going to a meeting once in awhile as long as you are serious about not drinking at all. It might be a good way to meet other like minded people and to have some non-drinking friends, and it may help to alleviate your boredom.. As long as you have a desire to stop drinking you're welcome, if you want to sit quietly and listen, that is your choice.

Again, best of luck!

Thanks.

Yes, I want to do it my own way but who knows. I don't rule out going to AA meetings again. Let's see how it goes.

[naboo]

I'm 30 years old, been drinking regularly since 18 and in the 4 and a half years since coming to Thailand my drinking has gone out of control. When I arrived, 3 big ones was a standard night, 5 a heavy one. Now 3 gets me started, 6 is a normal night, 8 a heavy one. And the first 3 go down fast, we're talking 45 minutes.

I've gained 12kg in the last 2 years, I've got married and my first baby is due in March so I promised the wife I'd stop from new year until the baby is born then see where I want to go.

Aims are to save money - I think I spend about 10k bath a month on drink - to lose weight - currently 95kg at 180cm, need to lose 10kg or more - to be a better husband and to just see what not drinking is like.

Now Saturday night and all I can think is I should be going for a beer or 8. What do none drinkers do on a Saturday? How am I going to fill my time? I like to watch the football but have never needed True at home. That may be a mission for an evening next week.

After 5 days, I don't feel any better. I'm saving money - 4 days beer money got spent on baby stuff today - a better husband! Not checking weight until I've sorted out my diet/exercise routine - back to work on Monday which makes that easier. And got a craving for dark chocolate today, what's that all about?

[473geo]

It's good you have recognised the need for a little self control Naboo, stopping until the baby is due is commendable a good reason to get your drinking under control. Have considered after te baby is born? I decided I did not want to play and handle my baby when I had been drinking, it just didn't seem right, and any accident minor or otherwise would be terrible if attributed to drink. To fill my time I read a lot more now than previously, and had forgotten how enjoyable a good book is, reading replaces a large chunk of my drinking time, for example before a flight I will start 2 books, the one I know I will have most difficulty putting down is the one I will read on the flight, easily absorbs the time, and with a little nap here and there I make the journey on soft drinks no problem. I exercise, cycling to replace drinking time too, the rest of the time I talk with people, yes even if they are enjoying a drink and I am not, or when the opportunity arises I play with the children. Your chocolate craving may be your body looking for sugar....but I might be corrected on that one by somebody more knowledgable.....isn't dark chocolate in moderation quoted somewhere as being good for the heart?

[GrahamF]

It's good you have recognised the need for a little self control Naboo, stopping until the baby is due is commendable a good reason to get your drinking under control. Have considered after te baby is born? I decided I did not want to play and handle my baby when I had been drinking, it just didn't seem right, and any accident minor or otherwise would be terrible if attributed to drink. To fill my time I read a lot more now than previously, and had forgotten how enjoyable a good book is, reading replaces a large chunk of my drinking time, for example before a flight I will start 2 books, the one I know I will have most difficulty putting down is the one I will read on the flight, easily absorbs the time, and with a little nap here and there I make the journey on soft drinks no problem. I exercise, cycling to replace drinking time too, the rest of the time I talk with people, yes even if they are enjoying a drink and I am not, or when the opportunity arises I play with the children. Your chocolate craving may be your body looking for sugar....but I might be corrected on that one by somebody more knowledgable.....isn't dark chocolate in moderation quoted somewhere as being good for the heart?

Spot on about the sugar craving. When I got sober, I was told this would happen and it did. I was plowing through ice cream like there was no tomorrow. The craving did subside after a few weeks, at least for me. Although, I still enjoy ice cream and other sweets more than I did when I was drinking.

Kudos to you all for putting down the booze!

[JemJem]

Hey, Naboo. I wish you all the best regarding your sober run and regarding the birth of your baby.

I usually drank more than the amounts you did although I didn't drink very often (in the past few years, I drank maybe only in one evening/night a week or so on average, but since coming here to Thailand on this last trip of mine 2 months ago, I drank more often sadly; maybe 3-4 times a week).

Anyway, today is sober day no. 8 for me. So far, so good. I have had the urge to drink only once so far during this period (this was yesterday and it was a minor urge and then I decided to see a movie and it was okay afterwards).

I am sure many of you are like me in that when you drink a lot regularly, you don't pay much attention to house cleaning (either too hungover or out drinking or too lazy). This morning, I actually enjoyed cleaning the bathroom thoroughly

Havinng said this, yes, my social life sometimes sucks badly when I don't drink (and in this aspect, my situation is worse than that of Naboo, as I am single !) because I don't get the high that drinking gives when going to pubs and clubs sober of course. And, I just can't enjoy going to a pub (for example one with live music) when I am sober. But, I guess I will just have to accept this result as inevitable and develop a philosophical attitude, such as 'Oh well, going to pubs, clubs etc for so many years was good while it lasted but now there is a new life/lifestyle ahead of me'. Of course, I might give 'trying-to-enjoy-nightlife-when-sober' a few more tries but I am not optimistic on that.

Like 473Geo here, I am also reading more when I am sober. I am already looking forward to finishing the books I have got and buying new ones to read.

[naboo]

Jem Jem, half the problem is filling time with other things. Watching a movie is a good idea, something I should do a lot more of but wifey falls asleep every time, whether an English or Thai movie. Books are always far more interesting to read than I think, last time I read a book would have been 3 years ago and I remember thinking to myself I really enjoy it and should do it more often....

I can't see myself not drinking after the baby is born, but keeping it down to one or two nights a week should be possible. In the back of my head, I know that I used to think I could be an occasional smoker, and that always ended up with me back on 20 a day in no time. Looked at a house out of town yesterday, to buy, and that should keep me away from my drinking holes. Drinking at home alone with a baby around won't be something I'll want to make a habit of.

Today feeling pretty good. Sleepy, but considering I found it very difficult to sleep without a drink until last week I have slept very well the last few nights. Been going to bed early as well, last night couldn't stay awake until the end of the Chelsea game, tucked up at 10:45pm.

[JemJem]

Dear Naboo, you wrote that you are 30 and have been drinking since age 18. I have also been drinking since around age 18 but I am 44 now So, in recent years, I have been feeling the bad effects of all that drinking a lot. It is high time that I quit.

Today, I have bought the first season DVD's of 'Dexter'. I have never watched it till now. Friends have always told me it's good, so hopefully, that will keep me occupied too

I don't know about you, folks, but when I don't drink, I consume a lot of coffee and tea. Starbucks should definitely be happy that I have decided to quit drinking I am a big Starbucks fan

[naboo]

Coffee machine in the house. Best 15k baht I've spent here, three cups a day is my limit mind. After that my heart's all over the place.

[jaidam]

Day 22. With the surge in energy from no drink, I bought a circular saw and have been making tables and benches at home. Its something I can use, look at, and feel a sense of achievement. The computer is sitting on one of them now. Still haven't had the mood to clean the house though , which really needs doing . Work is also way easier with a clear head.

Funny to read the post above regarding ice cream. I never eat sweet things but since quitting drink I have been eating between 2 and 4 magnum icecreams every day usually in 1 sitting, sometimes even a big bar of chocolate as well and for dinner all I have wanted was a big bowl of weetabix and milk, covered in sugar.

[JemJem]

Day 18 for me. So far so good. During this period, I have had a strong urge to drink but this has happened only once (which is good; I had thought I would have the strong urge more often than once in this period) but managed to overcome it quite easily. Of course, there will always be urges in the future

I haven't been able to test myself yet, regarding whether I can enjoy a nightlife-outing without alcohol. I was about to go to a club last week in Bangkok but then changed my mind and headed back home.

I think if I hadn't liked reading, my task would have been very difficult. I have been doing lots of reading in the recent days. But of course, I feel maybe I need to take up a new interest/hobby. I can't just keep on reading and reading all day long every day

I was in Hua Hin for three days recently. I walked in the bar areas too but didn't have the urge to drink when I was there. It was okay going/being there (except the train part; that was bad; long delay and the slowness of the train !!). It was nice walking along the beach (didn't swim though; the sea was too wavy; I don't like swimming when it's wavy) and enjoying some nice Northern European food

[naboo]

I caved in last Friday. Had 5 big ones and couldn't remember leaving a friend in a bar. Woke up pleased that it took 6 hours to drink 5 big ones and 8 or 9 would have been very difficult. Had a few when watching the football Saturday as well. Not had one since though.

My aim is to reduce my drinking and I am determined to stick to that. A few on the weekend I am OK with so long as it doesn't creep into the week again. I am really enjoying the mornings now, getting up at 6am is easy and now a more pleasant time of the day.

[JemJem]

I caved in last Friday. Had 5 big ones and couldn't remember leaving a friend in a bar. Woke up pleased that it took 6 hours to drink 5 big ones and 8 or 9 would have been very difficult. Had a few when watching the football Saturday as well. Not had one since though.

My aim is to reduce my drinking and I am determined to stick to that. A few on the weekend I am OK with so long as it doesn't creep into the week again. I am really enjoying the mornings now, getting up at 6am is easy and now a more pleasant time of the day.

Sorry to read that you caved in but if your aim is to REDUCE your intake of alcohol, don't despair of course. Let us know how it goes.

For me, it is day 21 today. So far, my determination and self-control have been great; but as you know, it is a never-ending struggle.

[smutcakes]

Day 25 for me, I will probably hospitalize myself come the 1st February when I will commence drinking again, hopefully with modified and sensible habits.

If i cannot control it when i re-start in February, the only option may well be total abstinence.

[473geo]

Here's a thought smutcakes why not go out and 'celebrate' your sucess of not drinking for a month with a really good meal and no alcohol....it is the way forward. Not saying don't have a beer the folllowing day when you reflect on your evening if you feel like it.....

[Monkeypants]

I find that if I eat a big meal at tea time, then I don't feel like a beer, I am a tea time drinker.

I try to regulate to one day on, one day off, 3 to 5 large Leo's,

[smutcakes]

Here's a thought smutcakes why not go out and 'celebrate' your sucess of not drinking for a month with a really good meal and no alcohol....it is the way forward. Not saying don't have a beer the folllowing day when you reflect on your evening if you feel like it.....

Its not a bad idea, although i am not really one for going out for proper meals, I do like to stay at home. Actually the 1st Should be okay as its a Friday night and I normally drive early on Saturday morning so tend not to drink anymore. My biggest problems are school nights, where one big bottle of chang after work at 5pm normally descends to 6-7 big bottles before moving on and end up not getting home til daylight. This is the habit i want to break.

[473geo]

I did the 'reward and unwind' thing drinking after work for years, usually the last to leave the venue in the early hours, looking back it was just a vicious cycle of avoiding being at home alone in front of the TV when not working. Additionally there was always a party/BBQ or excursion that involved drinking at the weekend too. Looking back I wonder how I managed to function at work so well! I guess others did too!! So I guess what I am suggesting is find an altenative way to unwind and 'reward' yourself otherwise you will find the habit difficult to break.

[smutcakes]

I did the 'reward and unwind' thing drinking after work for years, usually the last to leave the venue in the early hours, looking back it was just a vicious cycle of avoiding being at home alone in front of the TV when not working. Additionally there was always a party/BBQ or excursion that involved drinking at the weekend too. Looking back I wonder how I managed to function at work so well! I guess others did too!! So I guess what I am suggesting is find an altenative way to unwind and 'reward' yourself otherwise you will find the habit difficult to break.

This is exactly the same as me, but I live alone when in Pattaya, and have done for many years in countries abroad, so do not need company or a reason to drink. As long as i can justify it to myself, i am more than happy to drink alone. I was functioning at work, but the hangovers were becoming so bad, it was getting to the stage when it was difficult.

[JemJem]

Well, folks, it is day 29 for me today. So far, so good, Not 'great', but 'good' I have had some setbacks regarding morale, including a visit to a dentist (I had been having a bad toothache for a week) in Bangkok, where the dentist told me that the situation regarding that tooth is quite bad ; plus, more bad news regarding some other teeth. This will most probably cause me to go back home sooner than I had planned to. I had planned to head back late March. Now, I think I am heading back late February. The thing is I don't want to have all that toothwork done in Bangkok. I would feel more comfortable and less scared to have it done at home, plus, the cost is likely to be about the same (the estimate I got from the dentist here runs to several tens of thousands of baht).

Anyway, that day, I had the strongest urge (since the beginning of my current sober run, I mean) to get drunk. Fortunately, I could resist...JUST After that day, less strong urges have occurred but I have managed to resist them. Anyway, it is very important to control yourself, especially when there is a setback/piece of bad news.

I have only about 4-5 weeks left before I leave Thailand (hopefully, I will come again sometime next year, for 3-4 months again). So, since hopefully I won't spend any money on alcohol, it will be 'shopping-and-good-meals-time' for me till late February

[473geo]

You are doing well JemJem, look on the bright side, you have woken up today, not with a hangover, but with 2000 baht in your pocket you would not have had, which of course will assist in paying for your dental repairs.....make you feel good.... ....it should

[JemJem]

You are doing well JemJem, look on the bright side, you have woken up today, not with a hangover, but with 2000 baht in your pocket you would not have had, which of course will assist in paying for your dental repairs.....make you feel good.... ....it should

Thanks.

Yes, I usually spent 1,500-2,000 baht overall, when I went out drinking (I had always been the type to mostly drink outdoors ; and of course, this raises the expenses). So, it was a good guess

It is day 30 today for me. Since I started drinking in my late teens, my longest sober run was a 5-month one (and that was an isolated one). There were a couple of runs lasting 2-3 months, and a handful of 1-2 month runs. But this time, I can feel that I am more determined than ever. Of course, time will tell

[tingtongtourist]

JemJem, i do applaud you for your efforts and for making this thread. I only just did discover it now, but PLEASE do keep up your daily updates!!

It sure is a good idea to see other peoples efforts and battles and i notice they are a little like my own.

I hope to also contribute to this thread in the future..good luck and keep up the good posting!

[gerryBScot]

Interesting reading this post and interesting that it has gone quiet. I am an alcoholic and haven't drunk for well-nigh 10 years. I do AA and have done so from the beginning. I add that just for information so people know where I am coming from. What's interesting is that I was a regular stopper and someone who desperately tried for decades to get control of my drinking. I readily identify with some of the posts and experiences in this thread. I never stayed stopped for very long, maybe 2-3 weeks maximum usually 2-3 days; then I would try and get it under control and inevitably I would put in some screw ball session where I'd lose it completely. In this mode I learned the best and safest thing to do was stay home with a bottle and a bucket nearby. I managed to get rid of everything good in my life and stuck at it valiantly until my mid-forties when I quit for what I hope is the last time. That was triggered by a major health scare. I don't miss it at all these days, don't have enough time to do all that I want to. Life is pretty good, not perfect, but good. I just want to say that non-drinking is an option and it is a good option for some of us. I now have a wife and two small kids and they seem pretty happy people, their lives unaffected by my drinking. Don't give up giving up, guys. Chokkers

[473geo]

Well guys? any particular reason the thread has gone quiet? For me I just carry on, not bothered about making the effort to drink!! given my history I would not have believed it possible!! I agree with the post above, there are plenty of other activities to utilise your time, and, life is just as enjoyable if not more so. Personally I think some people reach a time where drink is just not doing it for them, in fact the realisation that drink maybe undoing it for them can become a major driver.......but......I take my hat off to anybody under 40 who has achieved this enlightenment because for sure I had no inclination to change my lifestyle until at least that age.

[smutcakes]

Well guys? any particular reason the thread has gone quiet? For me I just carry on, not bothered about making the effort to drink!! given my history I would not have believed it possible!! I agree with the post above, there are plenty of other activities to utilise your time, and, life is just as enjoyable if not more so. Personally I think some people reach a time where drink is just not doing it for them, in fact the realisation that drink maybe undoing it for them can become a major driver.......but......I take my hat off to anybody under 40 who has achieved this enlightenment because for sure I had no inclination to change my lifestyle until at least that age.

I fell off the wagon for the first time since new year on Sunday, and as was expected it was messy, and I still feel like crap after being bed ridden yesterday. I just don't know if i could enjoy one or two beers, i have no off switch. I think the only way is to stop completely or accept that every period of time, perhaps once a month i will have a bit of a blow out.

[gerryBScot]

It's a terrible business, Smutcakes, but good on you for being upfront about falling off the wagon. I'm not sure it can work on the once a month principle. If only I could have restricted it to Friday nights........ I used to joke with AA friends that we would set up a new group which allowed you to drink on Friday nights! It was funny for us because we all knew it couldn't ever work, and we had all clung to this dream of being able to get it under control........ if only we could...! I accept today that I can't drink normally and understand alcohol will always control me; once I get any in me I'm off, out of control. I accept that I might even be able to to go out and have "a few beers" but I know that sooner as opposed to later I am going to hit the "<deleted> it" button and put in one almighty bender which will be unplanned, unforseen and utterly unpredictable in terms of what I might do. I am relieved to be through with this for the moment.

[473geo]

Well guys? any particular reason the thread has gone quiet? For me I just carry on, not bothered about making the effort to drink!! given my history I would not have believed it possible!! I agree with the post above, there are plenty of other activities to utilise your time, and, life is just as enjoyable if not more so. Personally I think some people reach a time where drink is just not doing it for them, in fact the realisation that drink maybe undoing it for them can become a major driver.......but......I take my hat off to anybody under 40 who has achieved this enlightenment because for sure I had no inclination to change my lifestyle until at least that age.

I fell off the wagon for the first time since new year on Sunday, and as was expected it was messy, and I still feel like crap after being bed ridden yesterday. I just don't know if i could enjoy one or two beers, i have no off switch. I think the only way is to stop completely or accept that every period of time, perhaps once a month i will have a bit of a blow out.

No worries, well done, almost 2 months sober, pretty good don't you think? I have never 'stopped' drinking as in will never touch another drop! It is my way of accepting that on occasion I may well fancy a beer, or two, which I have learnt to cope with.......3 beers I know is the point of no return. Although I have on occasion managed to walk away, too much effort required to make 3 beers viable. So if I cannot be bothered to exercise strict ruthless unforgiving control......and it takes effort......then I don't feel inclined to drink......I've kind of got out of the habit.......but once released from the need to drink to 'enjoy myself'.....I have found abstinence relatively easy. If I was in your position I'd set a simpler target, like when you do drink, always eat beforehand and drink with the aim in mind that you will go home on the next occasion happy but not out of it, this is a starting point in exercising some self control. remember the alternative is no alcohol at all so maybe it is worth the effort to work on an alternative solution if possible.

[MrWorldwide]

At the risk of potentially trivialising this thread, I had my first beer in 12 months a week or so ago, and was surprised by how uneventful the experience was - have had no desire to buy another. I'm convinced that alcohol tastes much better in Asia than it does here in Oz, and the company is usually much better too. Never been much of a drinker - one decent hangover here and I can go for months without another beer - but I seem to put away a hell of a lot of beer when I'm in Thailand.