Married Woman, What To Do

[JohanBKK]

Hello,

I had an affair with a married woman (23yrs old), i'm 26 myself. Her husband is thai, he's young also, she want to leave him to go with me but i saw him and he's totally in love with this girl. I told her i was too afraid of him as i know thai mens are crazy when another guy take their girl. She want to leave him to go with me, she's has a 3 yrs old baby with this guy and i told her he could be too upset and it could be dangerous to do that.

Her mother and sister want her to go with a farang, they are introducing "farangs" to her but she refuses them all. I know her for 3 yrs when she was pregnant, i can say that 3 yrs ago we really liked each other but not in love. Now it's a little different, i believe she loves me and i love her also, but i don't want to risk my life for a thai girl.

What can i do in this situation ? I already had sex with her only once. She told me her husband is a good guy, never done anything wrong, she's just not in love anymore with him. And i can't steal the wife of a good guy who has done nothing wrong, he has no money but paid a large sin sod of 200K to marry this girl, he paid his right on this girl, i can't just take her from him... i'm feeling pretty bad about this situation.

That guy also called me a dozen of times trying to know who i'm and why i contacted her on the phone. The first time i thought it was over with her husband, then i answered to his questions, who are you, why you call, etc. I told him i was a friend and that i didn't knew she still has a husband, i said sorry and closed the phone. But i sent a few sms more to her and he tried to contact me again and again, but i didn't talk with him on that time. I saw him a few times looking for his wife, he's always trying to know what she's doing and with who. I believe he doesn't know i knew he was there, but i'm not sure.

I told this girl it was over because her husband was following her everywhere and i couldn't meet her as i wanted, then she proposed to end her marriage with him. At first i said it was a bad idea because it would be dangerous, then i told her i needed time to think about, she was a little upset but i don't want to be the guy who steal the wife of a good men, even if he's poor.

Thanks for your answers guys.

[Ave]

You told yourself over and over that it wouldn't be fair to take her away from him. Yet, your common sense is not giving you the answer you want. I'm under the impression that you are looking for a number of people to convince you that it's ok to go ahead with this love affair, after all she doesn't love him anymore. I didn't quite get "even if he's poor" O-o

[NeverSure]

Good grief. Leave another man's wife the heck alone. What's up with your thinking? Do you want someone sneaking around fing your wife some day?

PS I forgot. If she'll do it to him, she'll do it to you.

Edited January 15, 2013 by NeverSure

[rene123]

You will get no support from me. I caught my husband in MY bed with a "former" friend. There are some things you just shouldn't do, no matter how tempting. Let them split up and wait a year. If she is still available then it MIGHT be okay to start a new friendship. But, I've heard that jilted men can be dangerous long after a marriage is over. The OJ Simpson story is a good example.

[matt helm]

Sounds to me like you're being set up to pay compensation for the girl. You already mentioned the fact that this man paid 200k for his "right" to her. Now the next step is to get you to pay compensation for her freedom to go with you. You better make sure she's really in love with you or she will take your compensation money and disappear.

[beano2274]

I read somewhere that he could take you to court for having sex with his wife, and it would cost you more than an arm and a leg.

You might want to check out the Thai Family Law.

[IMA_FARANG]

Leave fast and don't look back.

Don't be a fool about it.

It will only cause problems for you, but if she is "happily married" now and is willing to cheat on her husband who is a "good man" .... why do you assume that in the future she wouldn't do it to you?

And ladies, I mean no disrespect to her or any woman by saying that.

It's just that many if not most marriages lose the magic and romance after a few yeras, and the excitement of a new fling sometimes overrides common sense.

That's true for BOTH sexes when marriages that once were exciting turn into the boring everyday routine.

I a man, and I've been married and divorced twice .... both me and my then wives have been in a similar situation.

I am willing to admit hat i wasn't always innocent ... but then neither were they.

That's why I'm advising the OP, leave fast and don't look back when you go.

Romance is great as long as iy lasts ... but over time it can fade away.

When it does, for either party, it's very hard to rekindle it.

Sonetimes the best thing you can do is to just leave before things get really nasty.

[Poo Ying FeFe]

<deleted>!

Bad Bad Bad. Why are you so attracted to someone that is a cheat? Are there not enough single women to choose from?... as NeverSure implied; What goes around Comes around. I hope her husband finds out.

[fletchsmile]

You were right first time - telling her it was over.

Sorry to say, but it sounds like neither of you are well placed to make this work. If you were both a decade or so older, with some life experience behind you and both with baggage you'd learnt from, and understood better what you were letting yourself in for, then there might be a better chance of success. Sounds like she doesn't really know what she wants in life either, and at only 23 her views on life and the situation she's in aren't very stable.

Cut it out stop contact. All the reasons in the above posts. Doesn't sound like you've found your "soul mate", just someone you've become fond of, and think you might love. .

There's also an innocent little 3 year old involved. If just you, her and her husband, then it's your own lives you might be messing up, and your call. Add in the little child and the stakes are much higher.

Sure, it'll be a bit of a wrench for you at first breaking off contact, and you might wonder in years to come what could have been. But walk away, and in time you'll respect yourself much more. There are plenty of lovely ladies in Thailand (not counting the rest of the world) without potentially screwing up 4 peoples lives

Edit: BTW Sounds like their marriage and family situation is in a mess. You're now part of the problem. The days of you possibly helping her thru it as a friend and being part of the solution are way passed

Edited January 15, 2013 by fletchsmile

[JohanBKK]

I learned today that they are not legally married, it was just a "party" without the paperwork.

That guy is just her boyfriend then.

Their baby don't even live with them, they don't even live together. I spoke to her mum today and she really want her to find another guy, yes i know they just want to milk someone for money, i'm not stupid. Why is that a problem anyway ? If i was her i would do the same, it's a smart move and i like smart people and i already told her. I still believe what she feels it's real, you can like money and love the guy that comes with it, right ?

Other point, if she's borred in a few months/years then she can find someone else and i will just do the same. I don't see any problem with that.

I thought she were single when i met her a few weeks ago, i believe it was her only chance to get me as 3 years ago i pushed her away when she told me she has a husband. Technically i falled in love with a single girl, then i discovered she wasn't single. But again, if it was me in her position i would do the same, why broke up with her husband for no reason if you don't have someone else ? Better to find someone new first.

She's playing logical, just like i do. I told her today that i wouldn't be her boyfriend until i'm sure her husband wont try to kill me, it's up to her how she do it but i don't want any problem with that guy.

And for the record, if my wife want to go with someone else up to her, she's free to do whatever she wants. If she don't love me anymore why should i care who sleeps with her...

[sbk]

cheaters cheat

and many Thais are married without the paperwork -- here what really matters is the "party". So yes, they are married in their eyes and in the eyes of everyone else.

additionally, I should point out that this forum is FOR women not ABOUT women and unless you are looking specifically for the advice of women (which so far has been don't be a jerk and sleep with another man's wife) then I am not sure why this thread is here.

Moving to pub

[rgs2001uk]

Sounds like you are made for each other, a match made in heaven, a couple of immature selfish brats.

Will she be returning the poor guys sin sot?

Hope you get taken to the cleaners.

[Hedghog]

Suspect the news headline

will be.

Farang man slain after extra marital affair with young Thai wife.

[Bosse137]

Perhaps I missed something,but how can you talk to her mum and husband and others? Does it mean,that you speak exellent Thai,or do the Thai people speak your language?If it is the latter,there are uaually only two alternativs;either they are all extremely well educated,or,they have been in the "business" for a long time.Take your pick...

[jambco984]

Seriously fella you need to get a grip.

I would ask what would you do if you caught your missus with another guy but you wrote oh well if she doesnt love me no more why should i care or words to that effect.

That is not the correct answer, OJ is an OTT example of what men do when they find there wifes at it with other men.

Not of this world, never ceases to amaze me.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Dancealot]

Leave her now. Forget about everything you posted.

[Rob8891]

OK... It seems pretty clear that everyone here is telling you the same thing....and you have said that yourself. leave her and let the marriage either heal or die without your interference.

If you are desperate to read different advice then there are one or two well-known rather jaded posters who will probably turn up soon, or whom you could PM....

EDIT: BTW.... Is this the third recent thread in a variation on a theme? Hmmmm

Edited January 15, 2013 by Rob8891

[tingtongtourist]

cannot seem to add my troll picture to this thread..what a joke and a good place for it in farang pub thread

Edited January 15, 2013 by tingtongtourist

[Dancealot]

OK... It seems pretty clear that everyone here is telling you the same thing....and you have said that yourself. leave her and let the marriage either heal or die without your interference.

If you are desperate to read different advice then there are one or two well-known rather jaded posters who will probably turn up soon, or whom you could PM....

EDIT: BTW.... Is this the third recent thread in a variation on a theme? Hmmmm

Themes remain the same, the crux of the sitution is the woman seem to vary. This appears to be the problem at hand..

[JohanBKK]

Perhaps I missed something,but how can you talk to her mum and husband and others? Does it mean,that you speak exellent Thai,or do the Thai people speak your language?If it is the latter,there are uaually only two alternativs;either they are all extremely well educated,or,they have been in the "business" for a long time.Take your pick...

I speak thai.

[tingtongtourist]

Thaivisa..Why did you remove the smiley that has the little guy reeling in the fish???

cant believe so many good posters did spend their time replying seriously to this thread

[Bangkokhatter]

Your a cock for getting involved with a married woman who has a 3 year old kid. And all your worried about is if the husband turns violent on you. You probably deserve it.

Sent from my GT-I9300T using Thaivisa Connect App

[tingtongtourist]

Perhaps I missed something,but how can you talk to her mum and husband and others? Does it mean,that you speak exellent Thai,or do the Thai people speak your language?If it is the latter,there are uaually only two alternativs;either they are all extremely well educated,or,they have been in the "business" for a long time.Take your pick...

I speak thai.

haha yeah right and you also write and speak English about as good as me..and nothing to skite about for sure

[Rob8891]

Thaivisa..Why did you remove the smiley that has the little guy reeling in the fish???

cant believe so many good posters did spend their time replying seriously to this thread

Just use

Third troll post of this type in the last 2-3 days....C'mon people! Let's have a bit of imagination,

Edited January 15, 2013 by Rob8891

[JohanBKK]

Perhaps I missed something,but how can you talk to her mum and husband and others? Does it mean,that you speak exellent Thai,or do the Thai people speak your language?If it is the latter,there are uaually only two alternativs;either they are all extremely well educated,or,they have been in the "business" for a long time.Take your pick...

I speak thai.

haha yeah right and you also write and speak English about as good as me..and nothing to skite about for sure

I'm not english, it's normal if my english is not that good. I don't see the point. Let's see how you write french compared to me

[tingtongtourist]

Perhaps I missed something,but how can you talk to her mum and husband and others? Does it mean,that you speak exellent Thai,or do the Thai people speak your language?If it is the latter,there are uaually only two alternativs;either they are all extremely well educated,or,they have been in the "business" for a long time.Take your pick...

I speak thai.

haha yeah right and you also write and speak English about as good as me..and nothing to skite about for sure

I'm not english, it's normal if my english is not that good. I don't see the point. Let's see how you write french compared to me

ahhhh French..now i do know,,,this is the hint for the question i did aske before..why this woman want you so much??..

now i know because french be so good lovers

another poster did say also about TROLLS..

By the way, not having a go at the English, mine is not good also, you miss my point.

edit: alter to say what i was going to say, maybe get me suspended

Edited January 15, 2013 by tingtongtourist

[colinneil]

A lady is married ok. Never never go there, single go for it. Want to die carry on .Think with your big head ,not your small 1.

[canman]

" i believe she loves me and i love her also, but i don't want to risk my life for a thai girl"

Well since she and her husband are only Thai's I don't see why you should have a moral dilemma here * sarcasm mode off*

I'm curious, would you risk your life for a french girl you loved??

[BookMan]

You will get no support from me. I caught my husband in MY bed with a "former" friend. There are some things you just shouldn't do, no matter how tempting. Let them split up and wait a year. If she is still available then it MIGHT be okay to start a new friendship. But, I've heard that jilted men can be dangerous long after a marriage is over. The OJ Simpson story is a good example.

Did your former friend and ex husband stay together?

[BookMan]

The fact is that many relationships start in this way. One or both of the participants are already in a relationship and meet someone else who makes them happy.

Op, only you can truly decide what you find acceptable and what you want to do. You have to be happy with your own moral compass and the way you live.