The Worst Type Of Falang And Thai....

[HeavyDrinker]

never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos

Women with tattoos electrify me! I've been trying for years to get the wife "inked" (as I believe the term is) but she flatly refuses.

[krisb]

never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos

Women with tattoos electrify me! I've been trying for years to get the wife "inked" (as I believe the term is) but she flatly refuses.

She should get a big mouth tattoed on her, remind her of someone close to her. Edited January 19, 2013 by krisb

[krisb]

Anyways Ive had enough of arguments.

[HeavyDrinker]

It wasn't really an argument as you were pulled apart quite comfortably.

[krisb]

It wasn't really an argument as you were pulled apart quite comfortably.

Well looks like pulling comes easy for you doesnt it

Anyways Ive had enough of arguments.

[Naam]

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

according to his post tv-member krisb wants to tell something to a Farang who has adopted Thai customs because for him they are convenient. there's a difference between Thai children growing up with grandma because both Thai parents are working somewhere else to make ends meet and a Farang who took a Thai wife to Norway but leaves her little children in the cold.

that's in my book disgusting behaviour and it's disgusting to support this behaviour with comments "yakety-yak this is Thailand."

[lannarebirth]

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

according to his post tv-member krisb wants to tell something to a Farang who has adopted Thai customs because for him they are convenient. there's a difference between Thai children growing up with grandma because both Thai parents are working somewhere else to make ends meet and a Farang who took a Thai wife to Norway but leaves her little children in the cold.

that's in my book disgusting behaviour and it's disgusting to support this behaviour with comments "yakety-yak this is Thailand."

I agree. In my own experience I've encountered this situation a couple of times.The grandparents were neighbors of ours and I didn;t really know the daughter or husband that were not around. What we did was invite the children over as often as we could to participate in our family events. They seemed to enjoy themselves and I know I got more out of the experience than they ever did. To the OP, I would say I understand your contempt ( assuming you are correct in the parents not caring for the children) but why don't you reach out to the kids yourself? I think they'd enjoy it and you'll get back way more than you invest , I guarantee it.

[krisb]

So if its not my business, then why are you telling me your 3yo story? and as for the Kansas cliche.

Just amazed at the foreigners who come to live in Thailand and want to tell the Thais how to live their lives.

Hardly surprising foreigners aren't welcome here.

according to his post tv-member krisb wants to tell something to a Farang who has adopted Thai customs because for him they are convenient. there's a difference between Thai children growing up with grandma because both Thai parents are working somewhere else to make ends meet and a Farang who took a Thai wife to Norway but leaves her little children in the cold.

that's in my book disgusting behaviour and it's disgusting to support this behaviour with comments "yakety-yak this is Thailand."

I agree. In my own experience I've encountered this situation a couple of times.The grandparents were neighbors of ours and I didn;t really know the daughter or husband that were not around. What we did was invite the children over as often as we could to participate in our family events. They seemed to enjoy themselves and I know I got more out of the experience than they ever did. To the OP, I would say I understand your contempt ( assuming you are correct in the parents not caring for the children) but why don't you reach out to the kids yourself? I think they'd enjoy it and you'll get back way more than you invest , I guarantee it.

Look I put it out there my thoughts in the last line of my op. If you love your partner, you love her and everything she comes with, if thats children, then so be it. I choose not to help them to much as my wife says their grandma feeds,clothes and raises them the best she can and my helping would be considered a bit of a slap in her face, grandma would be thinking "dont you think I can raise them"? kind of thing and I understand. Like alot have said to me here, "mind your own business", well I kind of am doing that. Its really about my thoughts on a situation I have witnessed, and I dont like seeing.

Like I said, the whole op boils down to the last sentence, if you love your partner, you should love all she has, and what she is about. Thats all.

[lannarebirth]

that's in my book disgusting behaviour and it's disgusting to support this behaviour with comments "yakety-yak this is Thailand."

I agree. In my own experience I've encountered this situation a couple of times.The grandparents were neighbors of ours and I didn;t really know the daughter or husband that were not around. What we did was invite the children over as often as we could to participate in our family events. They seemed to enjoy themselves and I know I got more out of the experience than they ever did. To the OP, I would say I understand your contempt ( assuming you are correct in the parents not caring for the children) but why don't you reach out to the kids yourself? I think they'd enjoy it and you'll get back way more than you invest , I guarantee it.

Look I put it out there my thoughts in the last line of my op. If you love your partner, you love her and everything she comes with, if thats children, then so be it. I choose not to help them to much as my wife says their grandma feeds,clothes and raises them the best she can and my helping would be considered a bit of a slap in her face, grandma would be thinking "dont you think I can raise them"? kind of thing and I understand. Like alot have said to me here, "mind your own business", well I kind of am doing that. Its really about my thoughts on a situation I have witnessed, and I dont like seeing.

Like I said, the whole op boils down to the last sentence, if you love your partner, you should love all she has, and what she is about. Thats all.

Sorry, I assumed you were concerned with the well being of the kids. My apologies.

[Naam]

bloke at the bar told me never get into a relationship with a girl with children from another relationship, never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos, never get into a relationship with a girl who needs regular payments to mama/papa, and never get into a relationship where the girl only looks like a girl. Try doing the opposite of all that and let us know about your wonderful perfect life.

And take another mans kids to norway and get to work providing the perfect life for them? it's a dream.

a bloke at the bar told you...

[up-country_sinclair]

Everyone keeps saying I dont know the full story. This is not the case. We know the family very well as Ive already said. We know the families and kids full story.

How can you know the "full story" when you admit in the OP that you haven't even met or spoken with the husband?

their mum has married a guy from Norway who I havnt had the chance to meet yet but cant wait to have a chat with him.

Stop being such a busybody and find another hobby other than sticking your nose into other people's business where it doesn't belong.

[Rob8891]

bloke at the bar told me never get into a relationship with a girl with children from another relationship, never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos, never get into a relationship with a girl who needs regular payments to mama/papa, and never get into a relationship where the girl only looks like a girl. Try doing the opposite of all that and let us know about your wonderful perfect life.

And take another mans kids to norway and get to work providing the perfect life for them? it's a dream.

a bloke at the bar told you...

Naam.... why so cynical? Surely the best place to get sound advice from the worldly-wise (or use Wikipedia). What could possibly go wrong????..

[David48]

Just trying to have a different take at this.

As lannarebirth mentions above ... lets think about the kid's best options and well being ...

Firstly the kids are aged 4 and 7.

So at 4 years old ... about to enter the main schooling system.

At 7 years old ... well into the school program.

Now, I'm going to take a guess at this ... but most likely Norwegian is spoken in Norway's school system.

The kids ability to learn this language has limited opportunity in Thailand.

Has anyone thought about the Culture shock of moving the kids from Thailand to Norway?

Has anyone asked the kids where they prefer to study and live.

We underestimate just how strong and proud Thai are of Thailand and the sense of the white ... maybe of the Norwegian variety ... white knight riding and 'rescuing' a poor Thai child is utter fantasy.

What type of Visa does the wife have in Norway?

Does it include free schooling for the children?

Free Medical care?

As for the Culture shock ... sure kids are resilient ... kids bounce ... but Norway is a bit of a stretch.

Are we sure they are 'married' in the official sense and not just a 'village ceremony' which the Thai translate as 'married'?

Does the Grandmother receive any money to take care of the kids?

Has anyone asked the Grandmother is she actually likes the situation?

If the kids weren't there she'd be living alone?

Can the Grandmother work? Assuming money is being sent from Norway ... maybe that is the money the Grandmother is living on?

WHO KNOWS ... ?

Best to pop one's moral compass back in ones pocket ... give an occasional rub to make sure it doesn't get too rusty ...

[muythai2013]

ok, so a thai girl is married or whatever, gets cheated on and kicks the man out.

is this her fault, people say dont touch a woman with kids, the above happened to my missus and she was left with a daughter.

she worked hard in her banking job, rather then leave her daughter she moved her mum down to Bangkok into her apartment because being apart from her daughter was not an option, then she could stop paying half her money on child care.

now seeing that when she was my friend for so long, it showed what kind of girl she was so i got with her and married her and her daughter is every bit like my own, we had a baby 5 months ago been together 4 years.

moral of this story, she found a way to be with her daughter, even though it was costing all her salary, thats what a good thai mum does because thats true thai culture.

[lannarebirth]

Just trying to have a different take at this.

As lannarebirth mentions above ... lets think about the kid's best options and well being ...

Firstly the kids are aged 4 and 7.

So at 4 years old ... about to enter the main schooling system.

At 7 years old ... well into the school program.

Now, I'm going to take a guess at this ... but most likely Norwegian is spoken in Norway's school system.

The kids ability to learn this language has limited opportunity in Thailand.

Has anyone thought about the Culture shock of moving the kids from Thailand to Norway?

Has anyone asked the kids where they prefer to study and live.

We underestimate just how strong and proud Thai are of Thailand and the sense of the white ... maybe of the Norwegian variety ... white knight riding and 'rescuing' a poor Thai child is utter fantasy.

What type of Visa does the wife have in Norway?

Does it include free schooling for the children?

Free Medical care?

As for the Culture shock ... sure kids are resilient ... kids bounce ... but Norway is a bit of a stretch.

Are we sure they are 'married' in the official sense and not just a 'village ceremony' which the Thai translate as 'married'?

Does the Grandmother receive any money to take care of the kids?

Has anyone asked the Grandmother is she actually likes the situation?

If the kids weren't there she'd be living alone?

Can the Grandmother work? Assuming money is being sent from Norway ... maybe that is the money the Grandmother is living on?

WHO KNOWS ... ?

Best to pop one's moral compass back in ones pocket ... give an occasional rub to make sure it doesn't get too rusty ...

I don't know about the OP but with myself having girls of 16 and 17 I'd be thrilled with the opportunity to work with younger kids 4 and 7 years of age. I've been "loong" to lots of kids here in Thailand, and I have to tell you, it's the best part of my day.

[lannarebirth]

ok, so a thai girl is married or whatever, gets cheated on and kicks the man out.

is this her fault, people say dont touch a woman with kids, the above happened to my missus and she was left with a daughter.

she worked hard in her banking job, rather then leave her daughter she moved her mum down to Bangkok into her apartment because being apart from her daughter was not an option, then she could stop paying half her money on child care.

now seeing that when she was my friend for so long, it showed what kind of girl she was so i got with her and married her and her daughter is every bit like my own, we had a baby 5 months ago been together 4 years.

moral of this story, she found a way to be with her daughter, even though it was costing all her salary, thats what a good thai mum does because thats true thai culture.

Now to finish your lovely story please tell me you love your wife's prior child as much as you do your own, I hope you don't find that insulting, but I've met many foreign men here in Thailand that didn't, and of course they lost their wife's love as a consequence.

[Naam]

bloke at the bar told me never get into a relationship with a girl with children from another relationship, never get into a relationship with a girl with tattoos, never get into a relationship with a girl who needs regular payments to mama/papa, and never get into a relationship where the girl only looks like a girl. Try doing the opposite of all that and let us know about your wonderful perfect life.

And take another mans kids to norway and get to work providing the perfect life for them? it's a dream.

a bloke at the bar told you...

Naam.... why so cynical? Surely the best place to get sound advice from the worldly-wise (or use Wikipedia). What could possibly go wrong????..

you are right. what was i thinking? of course the best source of information is getting it from bar stool to bar stool accompanied by a few bottles of Chang

[rene123]

The worst type of farangs and Thais are the lazy ones. In the hotel where I stay there are mostly Thias and about a dozen farangs who are long time residents. There is a small cafe in the hotel and they prepare a variety of meals and drinks. I seldom eat here because I have better places to go, but the staff are pleasant enough. And, they DO provide room service. People order a meal and it is brought from the kitchen to the room. There are only stairs and no elevators. However, once the person in the room has finished their meal they will stick the plates outside their door, along with any garbage. I've seen plates sit there for 2 days or more. SOMEBODY sure is lazy. I'm sure the people in the room go downstairs at some point in the day. It wouldn't be too much to ask if they returned their own dirty dishes to the kitchen.

[David48]

I don't know about the OP but with myself having girls of 16 and 17 I'd be thrilled with the opportunity to work with younger kids 4 and 7 years of age. I've been "loong" to lots of kids here in Thailand, and I have to tell you, it's the best part of my day.

So, given the3 situation mentioned ... better here in Thailand or Norway?

.

[mr78]

Maybe they don't have an opportunity to live with the kids in LOS and doesn't want the kids growing up in farangland and adopt the mindset that comes with growing up in farangland (weird sex, money is everything, stress e.t.c). Better for the kids to grow up in LOS and then move to farangland before turning 18 to get a citizenship and maybe a university education.

[muythai2013]

ok, so a thai girl is married or whatever, gets cheated on and kicks the man out.

is this her fault, people say dont touch a woman with kids, the above happened to my missus and she was left with a daughter.

she worked hard in her banking job, rather then leave her daughter she moved her mum down to Bangkok into her apartment because being apart from her daughter was not an option, then she could stop paying half her money on child care.

now seeing that when she was my friend for so long, it showed what kind of girl she was so i got with her and married her and her daughter is every bit like my own, we had a baby 5 months ago been together 4 years.

moral of this story, she found a way to be with her daughter, even though it was costing all her salary, thats what a good thai mum does because thats true thai culture.

Now to finish your lovely story please tell me you love your wife's prior child as much as you do your own, I hope you don't find that insulting, but I've met many foreign men here in Thailand that didn't, and of course they lost their wife's love as a consequence.

would you believe me if i said i did, but yes i do and yes its possible.

dont forget many people dont even love their own children as they should,

[Scully]

ok, so a thai girl is married or whatever, gets cheated on and kicks the man out.

is this her fault, people say dont touch a woman with kids, the above happened to my missus and she was left with a daughter.

she worked hard in her banking job, rather then leave her daughter she moved her mum down to Bangkok into her apartment because being apart from her daughter was not an option, then she could stop paying half her money on child care.

now seeing that when she was my friend for so long, it showed what kind of girl she was so i got with her and married her and her daughter is every bit like my own, we had a baby 5 months ago been together 4 years.

moral of this story, she found a way to be with her daughter, even though it was costing all her salary, thats what a good thai mum does because thats true thai culture.

Your missus sounds like a good woman but I assume she has finished her education?.

If the only option for someone is to work for 5000 baht a month to support two kids, granny and themselves then its only logical to create a better life. My mates Thai wife lives with him in the UK and she Skypes her child daily and is often in tears. She knows that this is the best for them in the long run, its their long term plan to retire there as soon as financially possible.

Just because a girl leaves her kids with relatives, doesn't always mean they don't care.

[aussiebebe]

I see why the OP started this thread;

So, my point is, if you really love your partner, no matter what country they are from, and they have children, no ifs or buts, those kids are part of the deal.

but 'part of the deal' doesn't mean taking someone else's kids out of their own country and transplanting them to your home country, in my opinion. If the kids are Thai, with Thai parents, the best place for them is likely in Thailand and they'd likely be living with their grandmother whomever their Mum married. I'll wager that if and when the OP meets the Norwegian he'll find that there is financial support and the grandmother probably relishes her life and role - getting paid to look after her own grandchildren.

[muythai2013]

ok, so a thai girl is married or whatever, gets cheated on and kicks the man out.

is this her fault, people say dont touch a woman with kids, the above happened to my missus and she was left with a daughter.

she worked hard in her banking job, rather then leave her daughter she moved her mum down to Bangkok into her apartment because being apart from her daughter was not an option, then she could stop paying half her money on child care.

now seeing that when she was my friend for so long, it showed what kind of girl she was so i got with her and married her and her daughter is every bit like my own, we had a baby 5 months ago been together 4 years.

moral of this story, she found a way to be with her daughter, even though it was costing all her salary, thats what a good thai mum does because thats true thai culture.

Your missus sounds like a good woman but I assume she has finished her education?.

If the only option for someone is to work for 5000 baht a month to support two kids, granny and themselves then its only logical to create a better life. My mates Thai wife lives with him in the UK and she Skypes her child daily and is often in tears. She knows that this is the best for them in the long run, its their long term plan to retire there as soon as financially possible.

Just because a girl leaves her kids with relatives, doesn't always mean they don't care.

true, i guess every situation is different

[LarryBird]

One thing that I haven't seen mentioned is Thai people bragging about how much their kids send home each month.. So, if the grandmother has people around her 'that are doing better than her' , than she's going to see this as a competition.. What's she gonna do? Tell them to go work for a western wage. "Her daughter's sending her 15k baht a month!!! You send me 3k baht!! Go to Norway, I'm tired of being low earner around here!!"

I wonder what the OP thinks the Norwegian should do for work? 'Well, you can always teach english' , 'You can figure something out' .. What if he's not a good teacher, what if he can't speak english, or can't speak english that well, what if he doesn't want to, or wants to earn more? What if he's a doctor in his own country, or some other skilled position that might mean nothing here?? I guess none of that matters. I guess he should sit in a corner because OP thinks he needs to live in Thailand..

Why isn't the worst kind of thai person the guy that left and has nothing to do with his kids?

OP, put up the white flag, and admit you didn't quite think this through. Find somebody else to look down your nose at.

[merck]

My wife wonders why I don't hang out with expats too much these days....well you're a prime example of why I don't...

You certainly spend enough time posting on this expat-dominated forum, (presumably when not on the bottle, that is).

[muythai2013]

My wife wonders why I don't hang out with expats too much these days....well you're a prime example of why I don't...

You certainly spend enough time posting on this expat-dominated forum, (presumably when not on the bottle, that is).

i have not seen many expats not on the bottle, seems to be a requirement.

[MAJIC]

Yes it is common for Thai women from certain backgrounds to send kids to their grandparents to be raised while they apparently try to earn a shekel to send home but I've certainly come across cases where the financial imperative is not the driver behind the decision.

One 41 year old I know had her daughter at 22 and immediately packed her off to stay with the folks while she whooped it up in the bars and clubs of Bangkok. On occasion, we would talk quite a lot about things that troubled her and one of those things was the fact that, since her daughter had gotten older, she only seemed to get in touch with her mum when she wanted something that cost a lot of money; mobile phones, laptop, fashion items etc.

It was all I could do to make her see that the situation was entirely her fault because not only had she failed to shoulder her responsibilities as a parent and kibosh the partying but also because she'd only gone home to visit a couple of times each year for most of the 19 years her daughter had been alive.

The thing is, for an increasing number of these women, it's got jackshit to do with sending money home and almost everything to do with finding a boyfriend/husband of means who doesn't mind if she's got kids from a previous relationship. and, as we all know, these men tend to be foreigners.

This may very well be the situation the woman in the OP is in.

Basically very similar HS.

Look perhaps in my op I should have said a bit more regarding how well we know the family, especially in my wifes instance. My wife is really good friends with this gradmother, has been for a long time. So I understand people telling me mind my own business, up to them. The way I see it I do. I just think the whole thing is not good for the kids that are this young, Sorry if Ive offended anyone here with my observations as it seems alot have taken the side of the mother and husband on this 1.

So in your opinion: who is most at fault in this instance,Mother,Father or Norwegian?

[muythai2013]

the duty of care is in the mothers hands

[chiangmaikelly]

My wife wonders why I don't hang out with expats too much these days....well you're a prime example of why I don't...

You certainly spend enough time posting on this expat-dominated forum, (presumably when not on the bottle, that is).

i have not seen many expats not on the bottle, seems to be a requirement.

You could check out the I drink too much forum. http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/forum/98-i-drink-too-much-forum/