Another internal memo

FROM: Bin Laden, Osama.

TO: All Al Qaeda Fighters.

SUBJECT: The Cave

Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently, but we've

really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are

fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly

I have a few concerns:

First of all while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we

should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to

avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we

need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster

have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area

(next to the Halal toaster/griller).

Second: It's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying

to scare the hel_l out of most of the world's population okay? That

means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the

background or keep doing the 'waaaaasssuuup' thing. Thanks.

Third: Food. I bought a box of Bega cheese recently, clearly wrote

"Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf of the fridge. Today,

two of my Bega slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance

ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. And please - do not

chant "Ossy, Ossy, Ossy.Oii Oii Oii" when I ride past on the donkey.

Thanks.

Fifth: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA F**** DONKEYS" on the group

toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was

relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

Sixth: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse

that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the

edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future.(With donkeys

there is a grey area).

Finally, we've heard that there may be Australian soldiers in disguise

trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for

them. First patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar, and Bruce.

Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.

PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry

bag.

Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

do I need to ask for permission to copy and paste...

That properly cracked me up