Thai Wedding Present

[Scarlett]

What is the customary present to a Thai-Thai wedding couple? Gift or Cash? If gift, what sort of gift and what price range? If cash, how much and how to present it? Also how formal are Thai weddings, typically (what to wear)?

The couple is 20 & 21 years old. The groom is the son of a casual friend.

How long do Thai weddings and receptions usually last? This one is held at a restaurant with 400 guests.

Any advice appreciated. Thanks!

[Zendesigner]

same questions for me here.

i've got to go next month to one in bkk.

B

[MissAnge]

i've been to a couple of thai weddings and both times we gave money and not a gift. I was also told that the main reason why weddings were so big (400 guests is not uncommon) is because everybody gives money..... not sure how true that is, but I'm pretty sure the custom is to give money.....

[Axel]

Money it is. Minimum Baht 500 to 1000 (as farang would tend to 1 K)

per person/ in case spouse invited as well.

Use the envelope in which you received the invitation card and present at reception desk. They will prepare lists of who gave how much.

Generally, dress quite informal, compared to western countries. As a rule myself

stick to shirt and (exceptionally) tie.

At restaurants last til the last dish is served i.e. 1-2 hours max. You will realize, when the guests get up and bride and groom wait for you at the exit door where they might give you a small memento.

[Spellbound]

Money it is. Minimum Baht 500 to 1000 (as farang would tend to 1 K)

per person/ in case spouse invited as well.

Use the envelope in which you received the invitation card and present at reception desk. They will prepare lists of who gave how much.

Generally, dress quite informal, compared to western countries. As a rule myself

stick to shirt and (exceptionally) tie.

At restaurants last til the last dish is served i.e. 1-2 hours max. You will realize, when the guests get up and bride and groom wait for you at the exit door where they might give you a small memento.

Spot on Axel, I have been to 3 weddings in Thailand, but I only give 500thb in the envelopes supplied. The normal practice I have found is that we hand it over when the Groom/Bride come to the table where you sit. The momento has always been a small Budda.

Go and enjoy, some of these weddings can be a right eye opener, especially the ones held out in the country.

[meadish_sweetball]

I have been to three Thai weddings so far, one in the North, and two in Bangkok. At the one in the north (Mae Sot), money was given by the guests, and the memento presented to each guest was a leaf-shaped bowl (not sure about any practical use it could be put to except as an ash tray). In the country, it is important to invite all "phuu yai" (in this case meaning "important people") which is why you should not be surprised to find that all the policemen on duty drop in to get a free lunch.

In Bangkok in my experience, money is not necessarily given by you as a guest. In fact, about 60% of the guests at both the weddings I attended gave other types of presents. My girlfriend arranges on average about 1-3 weddings a week (Chiang Mai) and she says customs are changing in this respect.

If you want to give a present instead of money to a modern couple in Bangkok, I am sure nobody would be offended.

As for in the countryside, if you know any of the relatives or close friends of the couple to be married, ask them if there is something they know that the couple would need (and pray they don't say "a Mercedes would be nice") :-)

If you are older than the couple, you will most likely be considered a "puu yai", and as such you will be invited to participate in a "rot nam" ceremony (pouring of lustral water over the couple's hands) before the actual dinner/party, which often takes place at a hotel or other official place if in Bangkok.

This "rot nam" is common practice in Central Thailand, but not in the North. In the North, instead, they will have a "phuuk sai sin" ceremony, in which the groom's left hand is placed on a pillow next to the bride's right hand, whereafter white threads are tied around their wrists by all the puu yai. This can be quite a drawn out ceremony for the couple if there are many guests. A lot of the time the obligatory white make up applied to the bride's and groom's faces will start to crack up from little beads of sweat running down their brows...

I am sure the Isarn people have some peculiarities of their own as well, but I haven't been fortunate enough to attend an Isarn wedding yet. I would love to hear of somebody else's experience in the matter though.

Khor hai sanuk duay na khrap! (Have fun!)

[Guest IT Manager]

Last one I went to, money to them, and the memento was a beautiful pair of chopsticks.

Mind you. The groom was 60 and the bride 18. Well matched in my humble opinion.

Wedding was at their home. 200 guests.

Dowry was presented, then later given back.

Lots of fun, except the last hour which I can't remember. Guests said I enjoyed it though.

Have to trust them that they told the truth.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Money it is. Minimum Baht 500 to 1000 (as farang would tend to 1 K)

per person/ in case spouse invited as well.

Use the envelope in which you received the invitation card and present at reception desk. They will prepare lists of who gave how much.

Generally, dress quite informal, compared to western countries. As a rule myself

stick to shirt and (exceptionally) tie.

At restaurants last til the last dish is served i.e. 1-2 hours max. You will realize, when the guests get up and bride and groom wait for you at the exit door where they might give you a small memento.

I agree with Axel on this one. The money is a very traditional and most welcome gift, and dress advice is spot on.

[sbk]

I have been to about 200 weddings (small island, large family!) and have 4 to attend next month alone. Money is the only gift to give in rural thailand, it helps to cover the costs of the wedding. Out here in the boonies we give 200 baht if it is not a close relative or friend and 500 baht if they are close. Usually we have already lost the envelope so we bring our own, make sure your name is on it. Clothes, well, again, living in the boonies, I usually just wear nice trousers or a skirt and a nice shirt. Nothing fancy as often I end up helping, again, large family. Some people get very dressed up but usually they are either immediate family or pretentious. Most rural weddings take place at the home of the bride, sometimes at the local high school's gym, depending on how fancy it is. (Gym is fancy ).

You enter, get seated with other people, eat, drink and listen to (usually) some godawful sound system with caterwauling music at an extremely high volume. Everyone then must shout over it to be heard, so, really, a good time is had by all!

Have fun and just pray it isn't set for 7 am like many here are!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I have been to about 200 weddings (small island, large family!) and have 4 to attend next month alone. Money is the only gift to give in rural thailand, it helps to cover the costs of the wedding. Out here in the boonies we give 200 baht if it is not a close relative or friend and 500 baht if they are close. Usually we have already lost the envelope so we bring our own, make sure your name is on it. Clothes, well, again, living in the boonies, I usually just wear nice trousers or a skirt and a nice shirt. Nothing fancy as often I end up helping, again, large family. Some people get very dressed up but usually they are either immediate family or pretentious. Most rural weddings take place at the home of the bride, sometimes at the local high school's gym, depending on how fancy it is. (Gym is fancy ).

You enter, get seated with other people, eat, drink and listen to (usually) some godawful sound system with caterwauling music at an extremely high volume. Everyone then must shout over it to be heard, so, really, a good time is had by all!

Have fun and just pray it isn't set for 7 am like many here are!

heheheh the auspicious time as set by the monks and fits into their eating schedules.

[wolf5370]

Many weddings are set at 9am because 9 is auspicious/lucky.

Also, cash in an envelope is the way to go. Usually keep to the 9's. 999Baht instead of 1k/199Baht instead of 200.

In the goonies or a family wedding (non hi-so) only immediate family dress for it. Everyone else turns up in their usual t-shirt and cut down jeans. As a farang, we are expected to be a little smarter. Shirt and trousers should be OK for the men - faranf women will have enough dress sence without me saying anything here!

[Guest The Judge]

I have been to about 200 weddings (small island, large family!) and have 4 to attend next month alone. Money is the only gift to give in rural thailand, it helps to cover the costs of the wedding. Out here in the boonies we give 200 baht if it is not a close relative or friend and 500 baht if they are close. Usually we have already lost the envelope so we bring our own, make sure your name is on it. Clothes, well, again, living in the boonies, I usually just wear nice trousers or a skirt and a nice shirt. Nothing fancy as often I end up helping, again, large family. Some people get very dressed up but usually they are either immediate family or pretentious. Most rural weddings take place at the home of the bride, sometimes at the local high school's gym, depending on how fancy it is. (Gym is fancy ).

You enter, get seated with other people, eat, drink and listen to (usually) some godawful sound system with caterwauling music at an extremely high volume. Everyone then must shout over it to be heard, so, really, a good time is had by all!

Have fun and just pray it isn't set for 7 am like many here are!

My wedding was at the "brides" house. We both wore white however.

All the guests just wore clean clothes and it was at 1.00 PM and there were no monks, just the Ajarn from the village.

My partners' grandparents hosted the day, every one was there.

Was very sanook. And unlike the IT Man, I remember everything.