After 10 Years Issan Still Amazes Me.

[tboxcar]

My wife usually trys to rescue me from her family and village after about a week in Isaan, she realizes we are 'pissing' off our money at rate faster than anywhere and she'd rather have that money. I don't mind spending a bit, but the Human ATM factor gets old.

[Jezz]

the Human ATM factor gets old.

It also gets blown out of perspective as a result of monied farangs dipping into their pockets unnecessarily, or setting out on the wrong foot in a relationship by flashing money around.

[firestar]

This is something that is REALLY strange in my own eyes. I am convienced that you were "taken on a trip" as so many falang are. Just to pay these enormous amounts for partys is in my own eyes REALLY out of the ballpark as the americans probably would have said!!!

WHY in heavens name should you pay for the party?????? Why dont you, in that case you like to participate and share, just share with the family the cost of this party.... It is really bad when all these falang shows up here spread money around, and leave to believe amongst the thai that this is the way to treat falangs..... money grow up in the tree... 150.000 baht is a pure joke in my eyes, and shows more about you than about thai....

It is the same with that "offering" saying that they "represent" their village and just put up 4-5.000 baht on the table....It is not representing the village it is your own wife without your knowledge that want to show off and show everybody that what a sweatheart she is....Maybe Buddah also observing this and gives her a better next life..... Where you end up that pays for all this ends up, no clue, but probably at the same place as me...

Wake up guys,,,,,asimmilate is NOT to lay down, giving it all up and play dead. Participate, question what you do not understand, and of course help out what you can without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Glegolo

I've been invited to parties hosted by Thais in rural areas that cost more than that. Big Stages, Dancers, Whole Pigs paid by the brother, uncle, birthday boy himself... it has nothing to do about being farangs. If anything it's the opposite. at similar levels of income thais are expected to pay a lot more than farangs for these kind of things.

[mike123ca]

Yes, I too live in Isaan and my family is more wealthy than the rest of her family including the

brother and sister-in-laws. When certain events come up, It's expected that we would provide

the most at the event.

At first, I was not happy at always paying the most, but logic would kick in, the others couldn't really afford

it on their very limited incomes, but it still didn't really make me feel better at that time.

Now, I try to look at it differently, which side would you rather be on,

1. be poor and hope the rich relative provides something or,

2. be wealthy and share some of your good fortune

I'll take choice 2 any day over 1. Being poor is something most people would not want to be.

[SlyAnimal]

Most Thai people don't shirk when it comes to paying for a party etc if its important to their family. Likewise most will freely give to the temple, even when they don't necessarily have a lot themselves. However some will be happy to let someone else in the family take on the bulk of the financial burden if that family member is in a better financial position.

For example my gf's grandmother passed away just before I met her. Her grandmother had 6 living children, and even though the highest earner would only make maybe 15-20k a month, and all of the others only around 10k or less and many with money owing to the bank, but they still put on a big party etc for her funeral, and then another party to celebrate her 100 days (between the two well over 200k). The people who had more money/higher salaries, paid more, while the others paid less because they couldn't afford it.

If a similar thing happened now that I've known my gf for quite some time, I'd shoulder a large part of the financial burden, and be happy to do so, because I can afford it more than her aunts/uncles can.

In the same respect, my gf's father passed away a few months ago, she hasn't had much to do with him since she was born, but its still her father. I was expecting that we might need to make some large contributions to the funeral etc, but I think we only ended up putting in around 10k as her aunt, who is quite wealthy, insisted on shouldering the financial burden as she knew she was in a better financial situation than us (and had had a lot more contact with my gf's father than my gf had had).

Everyone pulls together to help with what they can, when they can.

I don't mind helping out with things for the temple etc, I am working as a teacher so can afford it and it's going to a worthy cause. A few thousand here and there isn't exactly going to break the bank, although they often appreciate my gf and I's involvement in helping with English, stirring the Khaotip, giving toys to kids or whatever other random activities we help with, more than any financial donations we make, as they're just happy to see Farang getting involved in their events.

Also I think it's good to get involved with the community for myself. It's a great way to meet new people and even by just being seen at events it helps people to see me doing positive things. Not to mention that most of the events are fun.

[laislica]

A funeral in our village tonight (which my wife didnt press me to attend since I'm sick) reminded me that one of the joys of living in Issan is actually a joy of dying in Issaan. Where else in the world could I guarantee there to be a crowd of over 200 at my funeral - dancing, drinking and gambling?

It certainly beats morose family members standing around in Yorkshire and muttering things like "nice that tha's seein' 'im off wee 'am" (it's a ham tea for the wake)

Indeed and at the funeral, all 7 days of it, the guests will give their offerings in a small envelope along with their support at this time of grieving.

The offerings may well pay for the whole event. It's the Thai way.

Thai's do not (IMO) judge on how much a person gives in cash terms.

They pretty much give what they can and they don't expect it back.

Why do so many posters here knock what others are doing?

Who say's that the neysayers are right?

I loved reading the story and the ones following who were experiencing similar WOW! things.

Good luck to you all and may you live long and enjoy your life more every day.

There are no pockets in a shroud, spend your money as you want to and continue to do good.

Look at the happiness that the big party gave so many people.

PRICELESS

As has been said in this thread, if you haven't got it by now, you probably never will and I for one, feel sorry for your loss.

[JLCrab]

I won't describe my personal situation here in Isaan (though not in a village) or how my finances work out. All I will say is that, as I hit age 50 in the USA, I was looking straight down the barrel at the prospect of being a very lonely old man. Now my prospects are anything but. How do you put a price on that?

[davejones]

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

[davejones]

Do not mean to sound too negative either, but some folks (falangs) maybe should realize that they do not need to do all these drive arounds, attend WAT-meetings and spread money around like it is the last day in life.

Thai has their culture and falang have their culture. I myself live up in Isaan too, I try my best to help out to a certain extent, but I have explained that I have my beliefs as a falang and I am taking care of my own family as priority number one... rest is priority number 2......

Sorry do not mean to make anybody angry or exited but sometimes I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai and have stopped being falang......

Glegolo

Some people like the culture and embrace it. Others (like you) just keep fighting against it. Not sure why you would stay here if you really don't like the culture. Nothing at all wrong with acting like a Thai if you actually live here.

[TommoPhysicist]

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

Making merit is only valid for the one who worked for the money.

Your wife gains no merit from your purchases and donations, if she wants merit, she must earn the money herself.

Edited January 26, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[jamescollister]

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

Making merit is only valid for the one who worked for the money.

Your wife gains no merit from your purchases and donations, if she wants merit, she must earn the money herself.

As said it was her birthday present and she chose to give it away and technically speaking she earns all the money not me. Jim

[TommoPhysicist]

As said it was her birthday present and she chose to give it away and technically speaking she earns all the money not me. Jim

Buddha sees all and knows all. Tommo

[laislica]

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

Making merit is only valid for the one who worked for the money.

Your wife gains no merit from your purchases and donations, if she wants merit, she must earn the money herself.

As said it was her birthday present and she chose to give it away and technically speaking she earns all the money not me. Jim

Lovely story Jim and that's what it is - your story, needs no further comment (or justification).

When you walk through a storm

Hold your chin up high

And don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm

Is a golden sky

And the sweet, silver song of a lark.

Walk on, through the wind,

Walk on, through the rain,

Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,

And you'll never walk alone,

You'll never walk alone.

Thanks for the story Jim - heartwarming.

[glegolo]

Do not mean to sound too negative either, but some folks (falangs) maybe should realize that they do not need to do all these drive arounds, attend WAT-meetings and spread money around like it is the last day in life.

Thai has their culture and falang have their culture. I myself live up in Isaan too, I try my best to help out to a certain extent, but I have explained that I have my beliefs as a falang and I am taking care of my own family as priority number one... rest is priority number 2......

Sorry do not mean to make anybody angry or exited but sometimes I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai and have stopped being falang......

Glegolo

Some people like the culture and embrace it. Others (like you) just keep fighting against it. Not sure why you would stay here if you really don't like the culture. Nothing at all wrong with acting like a Thai if you actually live here.

It is a matter of opinion of course!! I find it quite lame to be frank, to question reason for live and stay in Thailand. I think you already knows the answer to that, if not here it is, and in no particular order:

a - It is a much moore cheaper way of living here

b - the warmth here is fantastic

c - you find yourself to be somebody here, instead of a big nobody in the western culture

d - I like the people here both thai as well as falangs

But I do also think that for my own sake, it is stupid to try to be somebody else than myself. I can embrace the culture to some extent, but hugging it until I do not longer knows who I am, is just plain.........

I think I can do good here towards my family and my friends without trying to scope out money in a never ending way, and than think that it will change anything..... Thai is thai and falang is falang.... We (you too) will always be a falang as long as you live on this planet, never forget that....

Glegolo

[Jezz]

. We (you too) will always be a falang as long as you live on this planet, never forget that....

Glegolo

Of course we'll always be farang. But in my humble opinion being a farang with a devout Buddhist wife and family has brought my way some of the most memorable experiences of all my life. Probably the most prolific example is a certain monk, head monk in a village not far from me, who's highly-educated, multilingual and absolutely charismatic. He became a very good friend over the years; someone I could talk to in English, discuss concerns, world issues etc. Shortly he'll being leaving for a new life in a temple in America. I'll miss him. It's hard to describe the innermost feelings in his presence - calmness, understanding, caring, selflessness. Because Buddhism is more a way of life then religion, this man will always be etched in my memory as a man of peace, hope and love. Does it really matter what faith - if any - we profess when folk of this calibre generate such expressions of love, concern and dedication for everyone’s welfare? Farangs throughout the world with Thai connections who find fault, criticise some aspects of the culture and generally say we should not change should spend 15 minutes with this guy. True.

Edited January 26, 2013 by Jezz

[firestar]

Glegolo

I think you missed the part where he says it's his wife's BIRTHDAY.

I'm pretty sure birthdays are celebrated whatever the culture. If she wants to go to the wat rather than the overpriced restaurant and useless junk western woman want up to her. When James birthday comes around, they can do something that pleases him. Making your spouse happy on the anniversary of their birth doesn't make you less of a farang.

[Michael Hare]

I read the OP and found it a wonderful story. For her birthday, his wife chose to donate food to the ceremony for the monk who had died. Very good indeed. My late wife liked doing things like that. On her birthdays, before she died of cancer, she got a sala built at my university, another at the school for handicap children in Ubon and erected a rainwater tank at a country temple. To this day they are all still in use.

The OP is having good experiences. Being a family of status in the village requires certain social obligations.

However, I found a post by Memock somewhat mystifying. He says, “I am glad my wife is a Christian”. What does he mean by that? Does it mean he does not like forking out money for his wife’s birthday or does he not like his wife doing what she wants to do on her birthday?

Does it mean that Christians are less generous than Buddhists? Or that Christians are frugal with their money?

I think an explanation on this glib statement is due.

I have always found Thai people to be extremely generous and in particular the village people. They give more than they have.

Being born into a cross-religion family and then being married to my Thai Buddhist wife for 28 years was a rich and rewarding experience. I still practised my Catholic faith, attending Sunday Mass in Ubon, and trying to say my daily prayers. My wife went about her Buddhist duties with ceremonies for the monks at our house nearly every year, plus all the other ceremonies at temples during the year.

I am the richer in spirit for these life experiences.

[MeMock]

You saw the humorous quote I quoted. You saw my laughing smiley at the end of my statement, I would hope that those few things would have explained it enough.

Edited January 26, 2013 by MeMock

[soihok]

Fair play Jim.

I do understand that these kind of experiences are those that make you feel "wow, what was that all about", and whats coming next. Makes life interesting.

I have only stayed home in Thailand for a few years (I escaped the uk in the early 90's, still working around and abouts the world, in no place that I would call home, although Singapore came close (11 years), but aint anything like interesting).

In KL now.

We had a party for my youngest brother in law becoming a monk a few years ago, at the very same time as my birthday and the curfew during riots in BKK. As you will know it was a state of emergency, we were on a hill that over looks Korat to one side and Khao Yai on the other, not far from Wan Nam Khio.

We had about 400 guests, I paid for the lot over about 3 days, dancing girls, a stage the Rolling Stones would have been proud of, countless drinks, pigs and other food. The police turned up about midnight, surrounded the field and had to be fed whiskey and pig, while watching the dacing girls. Plus a contribution of about 4K to the Xmas fund.

All in all, it cost about 150 K baht.

Experience of a life time..........priceless.

It was like a mini Glastonbury, Thai style.

To those that think 4K on an offerring at a party is out over the top......well.......better you stay at home and watch tv. If you haven't got it, you'll never have it.

Would I do it again...................without doubt!

This is something that is REALLY strange in my own eyes. I am convienced that you were "taken on a trip" as so many falang are. Just to pay these enormous amounts for partys is in my own eyes REALLY out of the ballpark as the americans probably would have said!!!

WHY in heavens name should you pay for the party?????? Why dont you, in that case you like to participate and share, just share with the family the cost of this party.... It is really bad when all these falang shows up here spread money around, and leave to believe amongst the thai that this is the way to treat falangs..... money grow up in the tree... 150.000 baht is a pure joke in my eyes, and shows more about you than about thai....

It is the same with that "offering" saying that they "represent" their village and just put up 4-5.000 baht on the table....It is not representing the village it is your own wife without your knowledge that want to show off and show everybody that what a sweatheart she is....Maybe Buddah also observing this and gives her a better next life..... Where you end up that pays for all this ends up, no clue, but probably at the same place as me...

Wake up guys,,,,,asimmilate is NOT to lay down, giving it all up and play dead. Participate, question what you do not understand, and of course help out what you can without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Glegolo

You still don't get ot do you.

Welcome to Thailand noob.

As I pointed out................if you have;nt got it now, you won't have it.

Grow up man! Life is about fun, not money (but it really helps to have a lot of money, not Donald Trump kind of money, not like being on the dole and expecting a royal reception, seems you fall into the later).

[soihok]

Do not mean to sound too negative either, but some folks (falangs) maybe should realize that they do not need to do all these drive arounds, attend WAT-meetings and spread money around like it is the last day in life.

Thai has their culture and falang have their culture. I myself live up in Isaan too, I try my best to help out to a certain extent, but I have explained that I have my beliefs as a falang and I am taking care of my own family as priority number one... rest is priority number 2......

Sorry do not mean to make anybody angry or exited but sometimes I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai and have stopped being falang......

Glegolo

Some people like the culture and embrace it. Others (like you) just keep fighting against it. Not sure why you would stay here if you really don't like the culture. Nothing at all wrong with acting like a Thai if you actually live here.

It is a matter of opinion of course!! I find it quite lame to be frank, to question reason for live and stay in Thailand. I think you already knows the answer to that, if not here it is, and in no particular order:

a - It is a much moore cheaper way of living here

b - the warmth here is fantastic

c - you find yourself to be somebody here, instead of a big nobody in the western culture

d - I like the people here both thai as well as falangs

But I do also think that for my own sake, it is stupid to try to be somebody else than myself. I can embrace the culture to some extent, but hugging it until I do not longer knows who I am, is just plain.........

I think I can do good here towards my family and my friends without trying to scope out money in a never ending way, and than think that it will change anything..... Thai is thai and falang is falang.... We (you too) will always be a falang as long as you live on this planet, never forget that....

Glegolo

In your own words noob.

"Thai is thai and falang is falang.... We (you too) will always be a falang as long as you live on this planet, never forget that"

Well kiss my own a**, for one minute I thought I was I Thai national living in my native country of Thailand. What came over me, better I take the next plane home, switch on the tv and watch american idol, ......that makes me feel right at home!!

Good grief, where do you people come from ? Then again, I have a good guess >>>>>>

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umz7v1_ps-Y

[laislica]

Yes Life is about fun, so can we have fun and play nicely?

[marstons]

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

In my case I have no deep pockets, we live here on money earnt here. If the wife wants to spend money up to her. I take a kind off salary from her, 10 grand a week. she pays for everything else. It's her birthday and I pay, not going to kill me if she wants 4 or 5000 Baht. to make merit. She is happy and when she's happy I am happy.

Some people have lives and wives just like in the west, we share the good and bad. Jim

" Our village has out done all the others and everyone knows it was us." it was this bit that killed it for me, the merit for face not the temple, I hate that mentality and feel for the others in the village who do not have that kind of money but were made well aware who has.

[rgs2001uk]

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

Making merit is only valid for the one who worked for the money.

Your wife gains no merit from your purchases and donations, if she wants merit, she must earn the money herself.

Now now Thommo, dont let the facts get in the way of ripping off the gullible farang.

I sat in a bar in Bkk the other week, (ex BG) asks the husband, daaling I can ring bell not want people think I mally Cheap Chalie falang, 3,000 baht later dumb farang wonders what has just happened.

Why the wife didnt use her own money is beyond me.

BTW, do I get extra merit points if I put the gold leaf on the front of the Buddha when everyone is watching me, or on the back where no one can see?

[tingtongtourist]

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

In my case I have no deep pockets, we live here on money earnt here. If the wife wants to spend money up to her. I take a kind off salary from her, 10 grand a week. she pays for everything else. It's her birthday and I pay, not going to kill me if she wants 4 or 5000 Baht. to make merit. She is happy and when she's happy I am happy.

Some people have lives and wives just like in the west, we share the good and bad. Jim

" Our village has out done all the others and everyone knows it was us." it was this bit that killed it for me, the merit for face not the temple, I hate that mentality and feel for the others in the village who do not have that kind of money but were made well aware who has.

Yes, In my case i did also see so much hypocrit type thinking like this..this method doesnt seem to me for making merit, rather to gain face and also get a benefit in the after life they believe.

Even one person did tell me, to pay the monks is good because they will pray on behalf of giver...it saves us from being the one who has to pray

I am not one to knock anyone else belief but this is so far from my own belief i cannot accept.

Certainly I will keep quite about this in the company of thai..to have respect for their belief...but no way will i give my money to someone else so they can give to monks

Anyway If they believe that then in truth (as another poster did say) if the money given comes from the farang then for sure wouldnt the farang be the one that gets any benefit..since he was the one who did work and make the sacrifice to earn that money

But yes, i guess the theory is that the husbands money IS the wifes and if she did not get it to give away to monks then she would have it to spend on something else..so in a way i guess she does sacrifice her own money

[tingtongtourist]

Women in the UK spend more than that on a hairdo, just so they can get face. Same with clothes, make-up, etc. I really don't see what's different. If all his wife spend was 4,000 baht, he's saved a massive amount compared to paying for a wife to gain face in the UK.

Making merit is only valid for the one who worked for the money.

Your wife gains no merit from your purchases and donations, if she wants merit, she must earn the money herself.

Now now Thommo, dont let the facts get in the way of ripping off the gullible farang.

I sat in a bar in Bkk the other week, (ex BG) asks the husband, daaling I can ring bell not want people think I mally Cheap Chalie falang, 3,000 baht later dumb farang wonders what has just happened.

Why the wife didnt use her own money is beyond me.

BTW, do I get extra merit points if I put the gold leaf on the front of the Buddha when everyone is watching me, or on the back where no one can see?

I think you already know this answer for yourself!

My thinking is Buddha will repay in kind, but to get maximum value from the offering, for sure someone MUST be watching

[glegolo]

Great, must have hit a motherload of some kind. Some guys are really starting to get exited. Very important when you have nothing to say, is to call people "noob". Maybe you think that you can make them more silent than?

I still think that there are a huge number of strange falang roaming aorund the countryside up here in Isaan.... shady people that want to be left alone, do not want to talk to other people, and do not even want to recognize you with nodding his head. This man is only socializing with thai people in the village and are totally lost..

When he dies after some 15 years living in that village he is refered to as the "falang".... He do not have a gender, he do not have a country (nobody care about that), he do not have a name, he do not have any past, and he do not have any future. He is just simply a falang and he is not even given a capital letter in front of the word Falang...... he is nobody.....

Now, this is wonderful, and all romantic people woavs and bows, and say that assimmilate is the only way to go here in Thailand....... Dreamland..And than talk to people and called them noob.... get a grip plse.....

Glegolo

[laislica]

In the west we have "Keeping up with the Joneses".

Neighbours striving to out do each other.

Kids refusing to wear anything except designer clothes.

Back in the day the labels were hidden on the inside of the garment but now they are proudly displayed in an effort to show how Posh you are.

If a Thai wife spends and treats her family or friends or at the village do, then one thing for sure, she tells the world that her Farang fully supports her in every way and what pray, is wrong with that?

It would make the wife proud and happy to be able to do that.

When a wife is happy, the husband is usually happy too.

Sounds like win win to me.

But hey, up to you to live your life how you want - I offer no criticism.

So long as you are happy to do it - great - do it.

However, I'd rather not see quite so many posts that suggest that the Farang is being exploited or ripped off or taken advantage of.

Surely it can be seen from many of the posts in this thread that some Farang are happy to behave the way they do with their resources and wives. Let it be. Live and let live.

Judge not lest ye be judged etc

[robblok]

Fair play Jim.

I do understand that these kind of experiences are those that make you feel "wow, what was that all about", and whats coming next. Makes life interesting.

I have only stayed home in Thailand for a few years (I escaped the uk in the early 90's, still working around and abouts the world, in no place that I would call home, although Singapore came close (11 years), but aint anything like interesting).

In KL now.

We had a party for my youngest brother in law becoming a monk a few years ago, at the very same time as my birthday and the curfew during riots in BKK. As you will know it was a state of emergency, we were on a hill that over looks Korat to one side and Khao Yai on the other, not far from Wan Nam Khio.

We had about 400 guests, I paid for the lot over about 3 days, dancing girls, a stage the Rolling Stones would have been proud of, countless drinks, pigs and other food. The police turned up about midnight, surrounded the field and had to be fed whiskey and pig, while watching the dacing girls. Plus a contribution of about 4K to the Xmas fund.

All in all, it cost about 150 K baht.

Experience of a life time..........priceless.

It was like a mini Glastonbury, Thai style.

To those that think 4K on an offerring at a party is out over the top......well.......better you stay at home and watch tv. If you haven't got it, you'll never have it.

Would I do it again...................without doubt!

This is something that is REALLY strange in my own eyes. I am convienced that you were "taken on a trip" as so many falang are. Just to pay these enormous amounts for partys is in my own eyes REALLY out of the ballpark as the americans probably would have said!!!

WHY in heavens name should you pay for the party?????? Why dont you, in that case you like to participate and share, just share with the family the cost of this party.... It is really bad when all these falang shows up here spread money around, and leave to believe amongst the thai that this is the way to treat falangs..... money grow up in the tree... 150.000 baht is a pure joke in my eyes, and shows more about you than about thai....

It is the same with that "offering" saying that they "represent" their village and just put up 4-5.000 baht on the table....It is not representing the village it is your own wife without your knowledge that want to show off and show everybody that what a sweatheart she is....Maybe Buddah also observing this and gives her a better next life..... Where you end up that pays for all this ends up, no clue, but probably at the same place as me...

Wake up guys,,,,,asimmilate is NOT to lay down, giving it all up and play dead. Participate, question what you do not understand, and of course help out what you can without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Glegolo

You still don't get ot do you.

Welcome to Thailand noob.

As I pointed out................if you have;nt got it now, you won't have it.

Grow up man! Life is about fun, not money (but it really helps to have a lot of money, not Donald Trump kind of money, not like being on the dole and expecting a royal reception, seems you fall into the later).

In my opinion he got it a lot more as you.. "brains" that is. I am constantly amazed at the farangs who feel the need to pay their way around to get respect. I understand it for people who have no other way to gain respect but to pay. Even then its fake respects as soon as the money runs out your forgotten.

There is a big difference between helping out and being taken, often farangs are being taken for a ride.

Anyway to each his or her own, but for many its the only way to get a girl or get noticed, to me that is kinda sad. I rather be known for what i can do then for my money.

[robblok]

In the west we have "Keeping up with the Joneses".

Neighbours striving to out do each other.

Kids refusing to wear anything except designer clothes.

Back in the day the labels were hidden on the inside of the garment but now they are proudly displayed in an effort to show how Posh you are.

If a Thai wife spends and treats her family or friends or at the village do, then one thing for sure, she tells the world that her Farang fully supports her in every way and what pray, is wrong with that?

It would make the wife proud and happy to be able to do that.

When a wife is happy, the husband is usually happy too.

Sounds like win win to me.

But hey, up to you to live your life how you want - I offer no criticism.

So long as you are happy to do it - great - do it.

However, I'd rather not see quite so many posts that suggest that the Farang is being exploited or ripped off or taken advantage of.

Surely it can be seen from many of the posts in this thread that some Farang are happy to behave the way they do with their resources and wives. Let it be. Live and let live.

Judge not lest ye be judged etc

I did not like keeping up with the Joneses and did not participate there why would i do it here. Thing is your forgotten even faster here if all you got to show is money. Besides its not even that much money compared to real rich people in the west, not really something to be proud about.

I feel that people should use their brains more and there is no superior culture but there are superior habits that are not bound to a culture. Thinking for yourself is one.

"the remark our village outdone the rest and they all know it was us" such a big accomplishment these kind of remarks

Here in the gated village near BKK a few people know my name, not because i splash around money but because i help out when there was flooding or just talk with people show some interest ect. People who refer to me as farang even after knowing me.. i quickly ignore them.

[laislica]

Years ago in the UK it was fine for an old man to hire a housemaid to work for him, of course he paid her. She took care of him and he was not totally lonely.

What was wrong with that.

If a Farang is old and "buys" his wife to take care of him - so what?

Surely up to him.

If Farang has money to burn, again, up to him.

As long as he enjoys it so what?

In this thread are many personal posts from people who are enjoying their lives.

However, some people seem to post as if all Thai ladies behave like the few who do rip off Farang and give a bad reputation for others.

I know that Robblock likes to do weight lifting and cares about his appearance, weight etc. I do not suggest that he is obsessed, I do not chide him and say he is wrong to live the way he does.

It's his life and up to him.

I agree that the noob comment was rather childish and unnecessary but I'd bet it came from frustration.

For goodness sake guys - LIVE AND LET LIVE.

Yes we are Farang so maybe we would be better off if we give each other some support rather than a bashing.

Maybe there should be a new thread where tips can be given to help the novice Farang see the traps before he falls into them but in a thread of this nature, I think that such tips and opinions are just a bit much.

BAMBI (If you cant say anything nice.....)