Need Help With Product Description In Thai And English

[ikebukuro5]

I'm launching bread and butter pickles in Thailand and need help with my label on both the English and the Thai translation. These are traditional sweet bread and butter like my grandmother used to make, Canadian style I guess.

The descriptin text is pretty lame...so any suggestions appreciated, it must fit on that label also...so can't be too long!

I also heard from Thai people that the Google translation is terrible, so if anybody has a smart Thai GF that would be cool also to make sure the Thai is ok!

Here is the text:

"A TASTE OF HOME

Old fashion recipe using

fresh quality ingredients,

cured to perfection in our

special traditional brine."

"สูตรแฟชั่นเก่าที่มี

วัตถุดิบที่มีคุณภาพสด

หายเพื่อความสมบูรณ์แบบใน

น้ำผลไม้ธรรมชาติ"

Pretty cheesy I know...but out of ideas!

[loong]

Although I consider my Thai language skills reasonable, I would not even attempt to offer any advice about this.

You should ask a mod to move it to the Thai language forum where experts will help you out.

[rgs2001uk]

In the first line I would have used boran for old fashioned instead of แฟชั่นเก่า.

[jamescollister]

Wife will have a go, Thai, studied English in OZ for 4 years. Problem we only have and English key board at home. When we go to town will get her to have a look, if you haven't got an answer by then. Jim

[ikebukuro5]

Thank you every body for replying!

Do you guys think the English description is ok?

I might change it later but I think should be good enough for now?

[Uncle Bill]

English version should read "Old-fashioned..."

[Uncle Bill]

Forget "old-fashioned recipe." What does that mean, really?

It was written in ancient Cyrillic script?

Consider this:

Made the traditional way

using quality ingredients

cured to perfection

in an authentic brine.

[Somtamnication]

It means "in the days before msg".

PM Samram. He is fluent in Thai and can better help you with Thai or English.

Yours: Mine:

"A TASTE OF HOME A taste from home

Old fashion recipe using Old-fashioned recipe using

fresh quality ingredients, only the freshest quality ingredients

cured to perfection in our cured to absolute perfection, in our

special traditional brine." very own traditional brine

[Somtamnication]

Forgot to mention one important bit:

After you approve my new description, I shall wait with baited breath, sitting in my veranda, holding a bottle of Corona, with my mankini on and bared male boobs pointing at the sun, for the free beta jar of pickles arriving via T&T.

[toybits]

Old fashion recipe using

fresh quality ingredients,

cured to perfection in our

special traditional brine."

"สูตรแฟชั่นเก่าที่มี

วัตถุดิบที่มีคุณภาพสด

หายเพื่อความสมบูรณ์แบบใน

น้ำผลไม้ธรรมชาติ"

Naam Polamai Tamachart? = Special traditional brine?

One thing I learned about translating Thai to English is that they do not necessarily translate word for word.

หนวดปลาหมึกยักษ์ - Nuat plamuek yak is NOT Moustache Squid Giant but squid tentacles. So my advice is to come up with something that a Thai would appreciate. I believe the GF misunderstood that brine thing and thought it had something to do with fruit juice.

Have the GF say something like it was prepared in the traditional Canadian Style.

[ikebukuro5]

Thank you to everyone,

Yes, will send a jar via EMS to the best description for sure

And yes somtamnication, I like your description much better than mine!

For now I think I'll go for this improved English description from somtamnication:

"A taste from home

Old-fashioned recipe using only the freshest quality ingredients cured to absolute perfection, in our very own traditional brine"

Here is the actual label (still needs some tweaking for nutritional values ect...)

Edited January 30, 2013 by ikebukuro5

[Crossy]

Should read "Refrigerate after opening"

[ikebukuro5]

Yes indeed Crossy,

will fix that for sure, "keep refrigerated after opening" was the old phrase, had to make it shorter and forgot to change it to refrigerate!

Free jar for you also if you want one

[Somtamnication]

^{Mouth-watering for sure.... Good luck with the product.}