My Gf Has Been Cheating; What Did You Do When It Happened To You?

[Southerndrawl]

Im just asking if anyone else has been in this situation and what you did. Im really not looking for opinions on what I should do, I know that would open a pandoras box of positive and negative posts, which I dont think I could handle right now. I'm pretty hurt at the moment already.

That being said, I have a gf in thaiIand that has been cheating on me and I am not in Thailand and wont be returning for another month. We have been apart for 2 months while I work at home. She is 32 and I am 50. She is not a bar girl, and I did not meet her in a bar, I met her on an online dating service.

She and I have been together for a year, and I have visited her for a total of 4 months in 2 different trips. She is living in my rented condo, and also does part time work for my business in Thailand. Everything seemed to be fine, although she was never a warm person to me, a cold fish since the day I met her. A few weeks ago, she started going out at night but always came back by 11pm. It was then that I got suspicious and began having her followed. One night she told me she was going to sleep at her sisters but she was out with a man. That week she was with him a total of 3 days and nights, she would go see him after we finished chat at night.

I also have positive proof of her infidelity by way of emails and pictures. I thought that confrontation with the proof was not the best solution, so I just asked her 2 weeks ago if she “had anything to tell me”, and she would not share anything about it and said everything was the same as before. She said that she noticed I was talking a little bit differently lately. We talk for up to 3 hours a day online via video chat and always have since we met. The past few weeks have been very difficult for me, looking at her on the webcam and knowing she is lying to me when she tells me she loves me.

I would really just like to throw her out of the condo and stop talking to her entirely, but I do have feelings for her. And Valentine’s Day is coming up. Not to mention, what will happen to all my belongings?

I guess my question is if anyone else has been in this situation, and what course you elected to take. Did you just kick her out and cut off communication? Did you give her another chance? How did you confront her about it?

Please TV members, Im pretty sad and depressed right now, so please refrain from any personal insults or admonishments. Im sad enough already. Im just looking for answers as to what others have done in this situation. Please be easy on me.

If I left out some details I will respond later. Thanks.

[uptheos]

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[Southerndrawl]

Thanks Uptheos. I guess time will tell.

[guzzi850m2]

Leave her now.

If you cling on to her it will only be harder for you later.

One time a cheater always a cheater.

Never mind your personal belongings in the rented condo, a small loss compared what others have lost (houses - cars and so on).

Good luck

[rizla]

You have bared your heart out a lot in your OP, i had a long term marraige go wrong and it wiped me out emotionaly too.....you seem like a caring person and i think you know what to do yourself without asking on here.....you can and will care and feel feelings again (for someone else)...you are not alone...good luck

[Southerndrawl]

Thanks for your posts, I havent been this sad for as long as I can remember. I really loved that girl, and here comes Valentines Day. I think I loved her more than any other woman in my life. Ok Im gonna stop depressing everyone on TV now.

Edited February 8, 2013 by Southerndrawl

[rizla]

Valentines day will be here next year too.....

Think of her showing affection to that other guy and not you......stop loving her, start hating her...she didn`t love you if she cheated, you`ll never shake that thought even if you stick together....It will eat you up mate....you can kid all around you but not but not your own brain..

[Sharp]

Hi man, sorry to say but u have to leave her or drop her on her head , many of these girls on these dating sites are worse than bar girls ,cloak and dagger approach so saying she's not a bar girl for me doesn't mean a lot so chin up bin her ,I can promise u she is thinking she can wrap you around her finger making a mistake is not a crime but being stupid well that's just madness ,think of it this way good schooling costs money so now u have learnt and paided for it

Good luck and get out

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[Southerndrawl]

Thanks again for all the help, there is just one little detail i failed to mention in my OP, and that is she has an 8 year old son who I love to death and he loves me. We are inseparable when I visit Thailand, when he is not in school we are always doing something fun together. He is my little man. If i try to think about life without him, I get even more sad. I really want to help him him become a man. This just sucks. If I do break up with this girl I would want to make sure he is taken care of. I just dont know how to do arrange that. Maybe I can set up a trust fund for him so that if things with his mom dont work out, he will have something good when he is a little older.

Edited February 9, 2013 by Southerndrawl

[MrRed]

Sling her out on the street and cut the funding cord.Wake up to her lies and get real not an insult but the truth and be a little more careful next time.

Edit She is using the son to hook you in ....they love your money and you are hooked.

Get out and move on,get real let the new man fund the sons future....the kid probably loves him to death too!!

Edited February 9, 2013 by MrRed

[billaaa777]

That being said, I have a gf in thaiIand that has been cheating on me and I am not in Thailand and wont be returning for another month.

WOW, can you believe that. I am sure that is the first time anything like this has ever happened.

[Southerndrawl]

That is something I never thought of, but I really believe the kid loves me. He loves to hug and wants me to play with him all the time. And he has never asked for me for a penny. Maybe he will love the next guy too, but I love him and he loves me for sure. He is just in the middle of a mess between his mom and me.

Sling her out on the street and cut the funding cord.Wake up to her lies and get real not an insult but the truth and be a little more careful next time.

Edit She is using the son to hook you in ....they love your money and you are hooked.

Get out and move on,get real let the new man fund the sons future....the kid probably loves him to death too!!

[Southerndrawl]

Has it ever happened to you? Did you read my post? Be sensitive and please stay off this post. Thanks alot.

That being said, I have a gf in thaiIand that has been cheating on me and I am not in Thailand and wont be returning for another month.

WOW, can you believe that. I am sure that is the first time anything like this has ever happened.

[melvinmelvin]

cross cultural relationships are demanding

32-50 relationships are demanding, cross cultural or not

relationships where she stays "at home" and you stay/work abroad are challenging

you say she is not a BG, fair enough, but keep in mind that in

LoS (or any other country for that matter) big time cheating is not limited to BGs

move on

if you are keen on having a LoS girlfriend/wife, try find someone your own age

Edited February 9, 2013 by melvinmelvin

[Bluetongue]

You love her more than any other woman in your life, but she was never warm to you, always a cold fish. Hmmm, something wrong there. Valentine's day coming up, sheesh! As you are not here for another month, just wait until you get here, get your stuff, remove all knives, cancel the condo and move on. The 8 year old is not yours will never be yours and once he gets to about 14 you would probably not feel the same way as you would be pushing 60. But wait you didn't want advice on what to do just our collective shoulder to cry on. Eat a spoonful of cement.

[daoyai]

Thanks again for all the help, there is just one little detail i failed to mention in my OP, and that is she has an 8 year old son who I love to death and he loves me. We are inseparable when I visit Thailand, when he is not in school we are always doing something fun together. He is my little man. If i try to think about life without him, I get even more sad. I really want to help him him become a man. This just sucks. If I do break up with this girl I would want to make sure he is taken care of. I just dont know how to do arrange that. Maybe I can set up a trust fund for him so that if things with his mom dont work out, he will have something good when he is a little older.

That is a tough one, she will use the child as a tool to work your emotions and keeping contact will make it impossible for you to get clear of her and make a fresh start. She is free of emotional attachment to you so all her moves will be cold and calculated. You are emotionally attached to her and the boy, she will manipulate that. Beware. Move on. He will survive. forget any kind of "trust fund" she will find a way to rob him of that guaranteed.

[Southerndrawl]

Thanks, you cheered me up a little. And what exactly would a spoonful of cement do for me? Ive never heard that one before.

You love her more than any other woman in your life, but she was never warm to you, always a cold fish. Hmmm, something wrong there. Valentine's day coming up, sheesh! As you are not here for another month, just wait until you get here, get your stuff, remove all knives, cancel the condo and move on. The 8 year old is not yours will never be yours and once he gets to about 14 you would probably not feel the same way as you would be pushing 60. But wait you didn't want advice on what to do just our collective shoulder to cry on. Eat a spoonful of cement.

[Southerndrawl]

Yes i do get the feeling she is being a little cold and calculating, but she has always been that way. Thats what I meant when I said she has always been like a cold fish. But that doesnt mean I didnt love her alot.

Thanks again for all the help, there is just one little detail i failed to mention in my OP, and that is she has an 8 year old son who I love to death and he loves me. We are inseparable when I visit Thailand, when he is not in school we are always doing something fun together. He is my little man. If i try to think about life without him, I get even more sad. I really want to help him him become a man. This just sucks. If I do break up with this girl I would want to make sure he is taken care of. I just dont know how to do arrange that. Maybe I can set up a trust fund for him so that if things with his mom dont work out, he will have something good when he is a little older.

That is a tough one, she will use the child as a tool to work your emotions and keeping contact will make it impossible for you to get clear of her and make a fresh start. She is free of emotional attachment to you so all her moves will be cold and calculated. You are emotionally attached to her and the boy, she will manipulate that. Beware. Move on. He will survive. forget any kind of "trust fund" she will find a way to rob him of that guaranteed.

[Southerndrawl]

Ok so far 8 out of 8 people would break off with her, if they were in my shoes. No votes for me trying to keep it together?

[telldem]

If you don't want to be a cuckold, I suggest that you make like a tree and leaves.

[endure]

Ok so far 8 out of 8 people would break off with her, if they were in my shoes. No votes for me trying to keep it together?

Not unless you can find accommodation under a bridge somewhere...