How Did You Meet Your Soul-mate?

[toptuan]

This is a longer take-off from a similar poll in the General Forum, but slightly gay-dized.

To avoid skewing the poll with over-excited, starry-eyed, here-today, gone-tomorrow relationships, I arbitrarily fixed it at LTR's over one-year (not discounting that your sudden lust can turn to real love over time! ). (And not ignoring the fact that some think a relationship of only a year is too short to be called an LTR).

In question #1, your connection might have been a combination of several (e.g. introduced by a friend at a gym). In that case, try to weigh what was the most important factor in putting the two of you together. Example: Choose "gym" if you probably would have connected without the help of your friend anyway. Choose "introduction by a friend" if you would have never. in your wildest dreams. approached (on your own) that stud bench-pressing 150 kgs.

The second question can be a little difficult. You might have met by chance, and then one (or both) of you started strategizing--you know, laying the trap! But just limit yourself to that first moment of contact. Was it a surprise to both of you (by accident/chance), or when you actually met to talk, had one of you been "working the situation" a little in advance?

It might be fun to see if we see any kind of patterns here (other than probably 95% of you met in Thailand? --just a guess).

Edited March 2, 2006 by toptuan

[TopChinese]

What happens if we have more than 1 soul mate at a time? I know some farangs in BKK who are juggling 5 or more.. some at the same time!

[toptuan]

What happens if we have more than 1 soul mate at a time? I know some farangs in BKK who are juggling 5 or more.. some at the same time!

Five concurrent LTR's over a year? I didn't know that there were that many lies in the universe to sustain such a thing!

And what about the Pattaya bar boy who's juggling 5 farangs? No! Impossible!

Well, rest assured, TopC, our only consolation is that neither one of them will be able to vote 5 times! (If I understand the "system" correctly).

Edited March 2, 2006 by toptuan

[ProThaiExpat]

Well, the polls surprises me already, more than half in a chat room!! Alas, I am proven not unique, once again!!!

[jdinasia]

well my example is both of internet chatroom and dating.

Met my friend after 2 conversations that were 2 months apart. Was coming up to BKK for the day so when I saw him online the night before I invited him out for a movie and dinner.

[Ijustwannateach]

Met most recent LTR through friends in a big hotel restaurant.

Considering the apparent success rate of the Internet on this thread, I'm considering that more and more for the next one!

"Steven"

[jdinasia]

bump

[ProThaiExpat]

Would you believe that I actually had five excellent candidates, which I ranked 1 through 5, and my plan was to date then in this order, but committed to each one in order of appearance!!!

I was honest with them regarding the ranking but not that it was in order of initial preference, telling them it was in order of first chat.

Some refused to be put on a list and insisted they meet me at the airport. Thus they were excluded.

I only allowed #1 to meet me at the airport.

I have been with him ever since and the remaing 4 on the list were told that I never left #1 and thus was not available to meet them. Amazingly they were encouraged that there were falang who were "true blue" and loyal.

Sounds cold, I know, but it worked for me, because I was very lucky. At best, I have concluded that I narrowed the field down to a small percentage of available Thais whe speak good English and who are in the chat room.

My Thai's best friend is a darling Thai guy who doesn't have the English skills to get in gay.com and it is a shame as he is a true gem but will probably end up without his dream falang, as his "disco searches" and other "opportunities" to meet falang are very limited.

"Social mixers" was an oldtime means of singles meeting, as are singles bars, but I found them most unproductive for me due to the "desperate hours" syndrome and my introverted personality.

[Guest endure]

I've sat here for the past 10 minutes trying to formulate a reply to Prothaiexpat's post but I cannot - it renders me speechless. Is there perhaps some sort of cultural chasm between the way that those on different sides of the Atlantic look for lurv?

[boybrat]

its better being a swinging single rather than juggling 2 or more boyfriends at the same time, me thinks. when i was attached, yes i do play around but i had only ONE serious partner. but then hey to each his own.

whatever works for them. if it makes them happy, who bleeding cares?

met my first serious partner during the sydney mardi gras...at gilligans. we then shared a cab to a pre-mardi gras dance party in a stupor and hooked up on the dance floor while the dj spinned deborah cox's absolutely not! went back to his suite and had more than 2 years of bliss.

met the second one after the screening of some droll french art movie about some girl who lost her finger while working in a drink factory. both of us hated it , we chatted, went for coffee,he invited me to dinner, and bam!

met the third one during a house party. he appeared with this asian bloke who was VERYclingy. i thought they came together, but apparently, they had slept together once and they met again in the lift!!!!! he came up to me later during the party and whispered "help, get this guy off of me!" and i happily obliged. clingy asian boy stormed home, we shared a bottle of butterscotch schnapps, downed nearly the whole bottle, got delightfully tipsy. went back with him for nice alcohol induced sex and that was the start of a 1 year relationship!

Edited August 31, 2006 by boybrat

[Espada]

This is a longer take-off from a similar poll in the General Forum, but slightly gay-dized.

To avoid skewing the poll with over-excited, starry-eyed, here-today, gone-tomorrow relationships, I arbitrarily fixed it at LTR's over one-year (not discounting that your sudden lust can turn to real love over time! ). (And not ignoring the fact that some think a relationship of only a year is too short to be called an LTR).

In question #1, your connection might have been a combination of several (e.g. introduced by a friend at a gym). In that case, try to weigh what was the most important factor in putting the two of you together. Example: Choose "gym" if you probably would have connected without the help of your friend anyway. Choose "introduction by a friend" if you would have never. in your wildest dreams. approached (on your own) that stud bench-pressing 150 kgs.

The second question can be a little difficult. You might have met by chance, and then one (or both) of you started strategizing--you know, laying the trap! But just limit yourself to that first moment of contact. Was it a surprise to both of you (by accident/chance), or when you actually met to talk, had one of you been "working the situation" a little in advance?

It might be fun to see if we see any kind of patterns here (other than probably 95% of you met in Thailand? --just a guess).

Sound like topic "How do you met Mr.Right?" i tell ya! i met my soul-mate from gaywebsite start with "D". anyway that a long old memories. hope you find one soon TT.

[jdinasia]

21 respondants ..... do we have 21 regular posters on this subforum?

[-jr-]

21 respondants ..... do we have 21 regular posters on this subforum?

Just added one more, someone else did in between. Now it's 23. :-)

My idea of relationship is about the same as Boybrat. I read forum about 2-3 times a week but I didn't reply much because in most topics, BB already pointed out what I thought about the subject.

My records on relationship was not so good. None of them last longer than a year but I still have some of them as friends and recurred our memory sometimes (you know what I meant). By the way, my relationships were all with Thais. I don't believe in long-distance relationship except for friendship.

Two years ago, I came to Germany to do my Master's degree. I decided to live for the moment, not clinging to anything/anyone because I'll go back to Thailand after graduate. so I was not looking for any 'feste Bezeihung' (fixed relationship). There were some guys who would like to have me for themselves but I just told them that I like to butterfly around. By the end of last year, I had a few regular sex dates that I met vary from once a week to once a month. It was quite nice, we met, we talked, we had good times.

But on January, I met another guy, after a few meetings, he started to call me his boyfriend. So I told him that I was not looking for a relationship, that I also had some other guys and not gonna change the way I live. He accepted it, even though he said that he's a serial monogamist. After that he started 'courting' me seriously and it has been since then.

To cut the story short, now I'm spending most of my time with him. I still talk to my sex dates but only meet them once in a while. I'm quite satisfy with just him. He baited me many time with the L word but every time he said it, I just smiled back and told him that I like us the way we are. I think it disappointed him a bit but I'd rather keep it real. I'd say that I'm having a relationship with him now but it's kinda like time-limited one. Once I graduate and flying back to Thailand, we would just be a long-distance friend. He knows that because I reminded him almost every time he started to talk about future. I just hope that when the time comes, he would be ok.

I'm not sure if my vote is valid in this topic because I don't believe much in soul-mate. So my answers was based on my current relationship. To me, soul-mate is a fairy tale. It's just something ideal that make people look up to and sometimes make them forget to appreciate what they have in hand.

[boybrat]

21 respondants ..... do we have 21 regular posters on this subforum?

Just added one more, someone else did in between. Now it's 23. :-)

My idea of relationship is about the same as Boybrat. I read forum about 2-3 times a week but I didn't reply much because in most topics, BB already pointed out what I thought about the subject.

My records on relationship was not so good. None of them last longer than a year but I still have some of them as friends and recurred our memory sometimes (you know what I meant). By the way, my relationships were all with Thais. I don't believe in long-distance relationship except for friendship.

Two years ago, I came to Germany to do my Master's degree. I decided to live for the moment, not clinging to anything/anyone because I'll go back to Thailand after graduate. so I was not looking for any 'feste Bezeihung' (fixed relationship). There were some guys who would like to have me for themselves but I just told them that I like to butterfly around. By the end of last year, I had a few regular sex dates that I met vary from once a week to once a month. It was quite nice, we met, we talked, we had good times.

But on January, I met another guy, after a few meetings, he started to call me his boyfriend. So I told him that I was not looking for a relationship, that I also had some other guys and not gonna change the way I live. He accepted it, even though he said that he's a serial monogamist. After that he started 'courting' me seriously and it has been since then.

To cut the story short, now I'm spending most of my time with him. I still talk to my sex dates but only meet them once in a while. I'm quite satisfy with just him. He baited me many time with the L word but every time he said it, I just smiled back and told him that I like us the way we are. I think it disappointed him a bit but I'd rather keep it real. I'd say that I'm having a relationship with him now but it's kinda like time-limited one. Once I graduate and flying back to Thailand, we would just be a long-distance friend. He knows that because I reminded him almost every time he started to talk about future. I just hope that when the time comes, he would be ok.

I'm not sure if my vote is valid in this topic because I don't believe much in soul-mate. So my answers was based on my current relationship. To me, soul-mate is a fairy tale. It's just something ideal that make people look up to and sometimes make them forget to appreciate what they have in hand.

Bingo! to each his own. hey bro. whatever works for you. i think the worst types of those who abuse the L-word (no, not lesbian, not lollipops or lanvin) and use it too frequently, too often.

usually when i think something is stumbling towards the L-word, i will take three steps back and ask the other person outright. "so. whats going on? ". but this usually happens after like months of dating and seeing each other frequently. its not romantic but it cuts the chase and spares me of sleepless nights, wondering where the relationship if heading.

im glad that somebody here sees things from my point of view. *grin*

Edited September 2, 2006 by boybrat

[Ijustwannateach]

Jr, I'm beginning to appreciate your way of thinking. Many guys seem to want to rush, rush, rush into the big "L" or the big "BF," before one has taken the time to really get to know them properly. It's best to hold off- not yet, not yet, not yet- until time for any surprises has come to light and you can really make an informed commitment (if it's still in the cards).

PTE, I don't think I would inform people I was dating to the same extent as you, but I certainly would be honest that I was potentially dating other guys- more of the "not yet" from above. Of course, what's good for the goose is good for the gander- if they find other, better choices in the meantime it's my own loss.

BB, one thing I really like about you is your honesty. I have the feeling there are very few people who know you who don't know how they stand with you. It's something I've come to appreciate in people.

This gives me an idea for a thread.

"Steven"

[boybrat]

ijwt: heh! u r one of favourite ppl on the forum too, bro!

sleep around, have fun, do wot u will, just dont screw around with people's feelings. that sucks.

a lesson ive learnt: if ure dated somebody SERIOUSLY for almost a year and the other person still wants to "think about it" and "just wants to enjoy time being together" and doesnt give a SOLID answer, RUN. it will never happen. time to move on.

id prefer an honest answer like "nahhh, lets just be ######-buddies," or whatever. but being wishy washy just annoys me.

but some people say, im brutally honest. i tell things like it is, not rudely but honestly. i had met people from the net before, met up at their hotels, took one look at them, smiled and politely declined before leaving 2 minutes later cos they looked nothing like their pics and i told them so. hahahaahah! hey they werent honest! served em right!

Edited September 4, 2006 by boybrat