Is The Mother's Abandonment "gross Misconduct" In Petitioning Court For 100% Parental Authority?

[earthpig]

I would be very grateful if anyone with any direct experiences in the above subject matter would kindly read the following and comment.

1) Child is 5 and a half years old, born out of wedlock to Thai and Farang. We never married. The child is a dual national and currently holds two passports.

2) We had an amicable breakup when the child was not yet two. I hired a lawyer and together with the mother petitioned family court for a) me to be legally declared as father and b ) for me to receive 100% parental rights. Legitimacy was indeed granted and with it thru registration at the amphur 50% parental authority given to me, but full (100%) parental control was denied.

3) The mother left Thailand to live in a foreign country immediately thereafter (before the child was 2 years old.) She has had no contact with the child since. Last contact I had with her was a phone call from overseas nearly 2 years ago. I might be still able to get in touch with her if necessary, but am not sure. And she surely can get in touch with me as my contact details have not changed.

4) I still live with my child in Thailand, as I have every day since he was born. He attends preschool in a top international school, plays the piano, and is learning Thai and another language. If I were to pass away prematurely, I really would rather not that he ended up in a Thai farming village being raised by alcoholic distant relatives.

5) I have had a foreign girlfriend for the last two and half years who the child now regards as his mom, and with whom I would marry if only I could. But marriage to Burmese is impossible in Thailand because for a foreigner to marry here she must obtain an affidavit from her Embassy in which she affirms that she is not already married. This the Burmese embassy refuses to provide as it is government policy not to allow their nationals to marry foreigners. Thus to marry we must travel to a country that has no such requirement.

6) Obviously I wish to have 100% parental control for reasons too many to list here; suffice to say that the most important is that if I die before he reaches the age of majority I want my child to be raised by my foreign wife to be, and it seems impossible to believe that would happen without me first getting full parental control and marrying. I reiterate that the natural mother of the child herself also wanted me to have full control 3 and a half years ago and since she has made no attempt to contact the child since, i think we can safely assume that she has not changed her mind.

6) But will the Court agree? Recall that our joint petition for giving me 100% parental authority was already turned down three and a half years ago. It is often said here on Thai Visa that 100% parental authority is granted only when the other parent's mental incompetency, danger posed to the child, or "gross misconduct" can be shown to the court.

There is no case to be made of the first two reasons, so Is this a case of gross misconduct? I need to make a determination whether the time, money and emotional energy of launching another court case might be worth it.

If anyone actually knows of any specific cases of a foreigner being granted 100% parental authority based on the gross misconduct of the thai parent, I would be most grateful for the details.

Also, can anyone explain how the Thai courts define "gross misconduct" with respect to the obligations of parenting?

Many thanks.

[Mario2008]

Difficult to say if they will agree. I think you need to show the need to make decision for the child wich you cannot do without the mother in the current situation.

Who might now best is a good family law lawyer, I suggest contacting isaanlawyers.

Unless you are married, your Gf cannot adopt your child. What you can do is make a will in which you apoint her as guardian of the child in case you die before the child becomes an adult. That is not 100%, but will carry great weight with a judge if the mother would object.

[earthpig]

I think you need to show the need to make decision for the child wich you cannot do without the mother in the current situation.

Thanks for your thoughts, Mario.

In the original petition, the mother and I made the point that without 100% custody it would be very difficult to take the child overseas and live, as without full custody there would be problems eventually renewing passports, enrolling in schools, perhaps medical care, and the like. All these points were made yet the Court turned us down. Perhaps they did not wish to encourage me to take the child overseas. No point in petitioning again on this basis.

I wonder if it might make sense to petition for full parental authority giving as a reason a second petition requesting permission from the Court to buy a house in the name of the child?

Of course I could petition to do that even with only my present 50% parental authority, but I dare not do it as I guess that the mother, being Thai and hence not subject like myself to land ownership restrictions, would be given the authority by the Court to manage the property for the child. That would I fear be asking for trouble, as it might one day encourage the mother to use that power to try to squeeze me one way or another. (As one of many possible examples, she might be inclined one day to put the house on the market even as we live in it if I do not submit to her will.)

I do understand, by the way, that once I transfer funds into the child's name to purchase the land/house it will always remain in the child's name and that if the house is sold the money must also remain in the child's name or be spent on his behalf, all of which I am ok with.

Unfortunately, such a line of argument is not consistent with the "gross misconduct" criteria as a reason to deprive a parent of her share of parental authority. Still if anyone thinks this strategy, combined as I discussed in my first post with a new marriage, has much hope of success I would be grateful hearing your thoughts.

Thanks again.

[Mario2008]

I'm not sure that buying a house for the child requires permission from both parents. It would be a donation to the child, unless the child has money of its own and you want to use that to buy a house.

Land and house must always be given loan free and it is the property of the child. Until the child becomes of age, it can only be sold and such with prior permission of the court. But you can give the house/land with a usefruct attached to it.

Ask a lawyer that does a lot of custody cases what is best, that is why I recommended Isaanlawyers. They might know a competent lawyer in your own area.

[Sheryl]

Your case is certainly much stringer now that the mother left the country and has had no contact with the child for several years. Plus you have been the sole parent caring for the child now for some years. This all creates a very different situation from the one the judge looked at years back.

No one can guarantee what a judge is going to decide but given these circumstances which were not in evidence at the prior hearing I think it is is certainly worth going back to court. And do it now lest the mother some day return and decide she wants the child.

Do NOT mention anything about buying a house. That will immediately make the judge suspicious that your motive is actually to own land in Thailand through your child.

What will weigh in your favor is that you have in fact been the sole caretaker and the mother has shown no involvement for several years.

[sbk]

Perhaps tell the judge the truth. The mother has disappeared and no longer lives in the country you don't know how to get in touch with her and you don't want her family to have custody should you die. I would think if you can also show that her family are not that fit, it would help

[earthpig]

Thanks for all your kind comments.

[cjchaos]

Courts will grant you custody, I had a similar case where my ex wife left Thailand and I had to get my child back from her relatives through the courts.

[earthpig]

Courts will grant you custody, I had a similar case where my ex wife left Thailand and I had to get my child back from her relatives through the courts.

cjchaos,

Many thanks for your reply as yours is the first example I have heard of full parental control being granted for abandonment by the other parent.

Would it possible to enquire for how long the mother had been absent from her child before the petition for your full control was placed before the Court?

Thanks again!