What Men Want

[rcalsop]

I want a woman who makes me feel needed, valued and who makes me think I am the boss ,I want a woman who makes me feel like a man without having to apologise about it .

I am lucky I have found her and I married her and love her more each day !!!.

I am also a firm believer following many failed relationships women kill romance in a marriage or relationship not men !!!!!

[LaoPo]

Besides, I just dismissed *(for the summer) two 12-year-olds that had crushes on me during the semester.

I think you just made a lot of guys here on the forum quite curious about your looks...you must be stunning Lady (or is it girl?)

LaoPo

[HarryHerb]

Actually, it was a Sex in the City episode, but it was also a research topic for a journalist in New York. A friend and myself were 2 of 25 female *research bait* that basically came up with similar results. Although, I have to admit, that choice of venue had some influence.

However, the research article and Sex in the City have been substantiated by professional, scientific research at 11 participating international universities which have recently declared the same findings --- many men do not want women who are too intelligent.

*But it's ok, because most intelligent women are not seriously interested in these types. We need someone who is at least as intelligent as us, which clearly, are not these guys.

By the by, the quoted story makes no sense whatsoever. First she complains that men see her and other women as "being vacuous, materialistic, image-obsessed bimbos!", then proceeds to act like one to prove... errr... that men actually like airheads. So what's the point, Ms. Lawyer? That men should not complain that women are bimbos because they secretly like IQ deficient women when they're drunk in a bar? That women only act like bimbos to get men but are all really intelligent? Stick to the modelling, girl, you're discrediting your gender.

uhm, I think you missed her argument. Basically, it is contradictory because her whole point is about the contradictions between what certain types of men say they want, and what they actually chase.

I don't actually see any contradiction, which is why I think it's a fallacious argument. As many men have already pointed out in this thread what they want in a wife or good friend and what they want in a quick shag is entirely opposite. The "experiment" is carried out in a bar, where we can assume most men are there to find the latter

The lawyer then complains that men say they prefer intelligent women on a forum that itself presumably discusses more intellectually challenging matters.

Where's the contradiction in that?

Men like a woman who can hold a decent conversation (and vice versa). When they want to have that conversation rather depends if they are at a dinner party or on the lash after work. A bar is usually the venue for foolish light-hearted banter rather than a debate on the socio-economics of tax harmonisation in Europe.

I also take issue with the way, in the articles you posted, that marriage is used as a measure of what men want, or how 'successful' in love a woman is. Marriage is not the be all and end all. For many, myself included, it is not even a goal. Many intelligent men - and women! - are not married by choice - a thought that does not seem to occur to the researchers. I'd say around 80% of my friends are not married. They are however in loving, stable relationships, with men their equals.

In fact one could play the devil's advocate and say that the more intelligent, highly educated and independent a woman is, the less she wants or needs to be married (note: I did not say the less she needs a man). The statistics are thus more a case of women's choice, than men not desiring them.

[Boo]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless. When you meet someone, you either click or you don't, you can't force someone to like you, he will either be intersted or not & regardless of how you act or think he wants you to act, your true nature will always come out in the end.

I saw a funny book the other day called something like "he just not that into you" it was a honest guide to why some men don't call or why the guy you like doesn't ask you out again.

Once you have reached the stage where you can call your relationship a relationship he already knows you have bad habits & still likes you for them. And I don't know about anyone else but I don't want have in-depth intellectual conversations with my man, I have girlfriends to discuss girlie things with, work for my mental stimulation & my husband for the nookie & lovin & talks about our future.

[mark45y]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless.

I agree with you completely. I think most women if not all women find any discussion titled “What men want” pointless. Most women if not all women really don’t give a darn what men want. There are however a few exceptions to that rule and most of them in my humble experience live in Thailand. That is why all of the Western men are here.

[Glauka]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless.

I agree with you completely. I think most women if not all women find any discussion titled “What men want” pointless. Most women if not all women really don’t give a darn what men want. There are however a few exceptions to that rule and most of them in my humble experience live in Thailand. That is why all of the Western men are here.

[Boo]

oh dear, what ALL of the western men? What about the western men who live in other places! how droll

[HarryHerb]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless. When you meet someone, you either click or you don't, you can't force someone to like you, he will either be intersted or not & regardless of how you act or think he wants you to act, your true nature will always come out in the end.

How true.

I saw a funny book the other day called something like "he just not that into you" it was a honest guide to why some men don't call or why the guy you like doesn't ask you out again.

Yep, and I bet it's got nothing to do with being a lawyer. Probably he didn't like you full stop.

Sigh. All these people with chips on their shoulders about education, profession, culture: mostly you just click with someone or you don't.

mark45y, you're absolutely right, I don't think anyone gives two hoots about what men like you want. That also includes Thai women, who - don't kid yourself darling - are simply doing whatever necessary to get what they want.

[gburns57au]

my husband for the nookie & lovin & talks about our future.

deep relationship that one.

you may as well have a BOB....they wont talk about the future but

[mark45y]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless. When you meet someone, you either click or you don't, you can't force someone to like you, he will either be intersted or not & regardless of how you act or think he wants you to act, your true nature will always come out in the end.

How true.

I saw a funny book the other day called something like "he just not that into you" it was a honest guide to why some men don't call or why the guy you like doesn't ask you out again.

Yep, and I bet it's got nothing to do with being a lawyer. Probably he didn't like you full stop.

Sigh. All these people with chips on their shoulders about education, profession, culture: mostly you just click with someone or you don't.

mark45y, you're absolutely right, I don't think anyone gives two hoots about what men like you want. That also includes Thai women, who - don't kid yourself darling - are simply doing whatever necessary to get what they want.

Harry you are so right. The difference is in the acting. I had a fight last night about a car and a house. My Thai women wanted it in her name.

Now this is heavy stuff and large amounts of money involved.

She couldn’t sleep last night so she got and started cleaning. That’s what she does when she can’t sleep and she wasn’t quite about it so I would know she was awake. How angry could I get? She is cleaning the house at 4AM?

I eventually get up and she cooks me breakfast and is in her silent mode. About 7 PM she changes gears and is into plan number two. Ok, she has accepted the fact that the car and house will not be in her name and now we are discussing what kind of car and how many bedrooms in the house.

This I can deal with. I will spend a couple of grand more than I wanted on the house and car. She is going to get it after I go to the great Nana Plaza in the sky anyway. She is Thai and does not understand this but that’s OK.

She has calculated the best course of action for herself and her family. We have been together awhile so it is not in her interest to change horses in mid stream.

Does she care about what I really feel or my inner motivations? No, not at all. Does she know that I read her like a book? No. But it works because she is so good at acting. Would I rather have a woman who really spoke her mind instead of manipulating me and pretending to love me and insisted on getting her way even when I was not in agreement? No. I prefer the no confrontational style relationship.

When I say no I mean no. It is my money and it is my decision. There is no debate there is no equality. It is my football and it is my game. In the West I would get a divorce. In Thailand it is no big deal we are happy just a bump in the road.

Would I rather have a Western woman? All things considered, yes but the ability to compromise and understand the male psyche has been lost in the West.

It has been replaced with attitude.

It takes a lot to actually move to Thailand leaving family and friends and life long habits and haunts.

But the attitude makes it possible.

So I put up with all the negatives in Thailand because the sum total of them does not come near the weight of the attitude in the West. It is not even close.

[Uma~~]

I find all this "what men want" discussion to be pointless. When you meet someone, you either click or you don't, you can't force someone to like you, he will either be intersted or not & regardless of how you act or think he wants you to act, your true nature will always come out in the end.

I saw a funny book the other day called something like "he just not that into you" it was a honest guide to why some men don't call or why the guy you like doesn't ask you out again.

Once you have reached the stage where you can call your relationship a relationship he already knows you have bad habits & still likes you for them. And I don't know about anyone else but I don't want have in-depth intellectual conversations with my man, I have girlfriends to discuss girlie things with, work for my mental stimulation & my husband for the nookie & lovin & talks about our future.

Agree.

[HarryHerb]

When I say no I mean no. It is my money and it is my decision. There is no debate there is no equality. It is my football and it is my game. In the West I would get a divorce. In Thailand it is no big deal we are happy just a bump in the road.

Would I rather have a Western woman? All things considered, yes but the ability to compromise and understand the male psyche has been lost in the West.

It has been replaced with attitude.

You mean the need to compromise has been lost. With financial independence, western women no longer have to suffer selfish, self-centred, and quite frankly odious men like yourself. So, obviously they don't. They choose some nice bloke who doesn't have "issues" and live happily ever after, while you emigrate and get ever more bitter and twisted.

[CMCool]

Come on guys! What 's wrong with you arguing with each others in the ladies forum?

Edited March 10, 2006 by CMCool

[malcolminthemiddle]

What Men Want?

Simple.

Depends on two things.

(1) Time of day.

(2) Time of life.

What Women Want?

Also depends on two things.

(1) Time of month.

(2) Time of life.

Edited March 10, 2006 by malcolminthemiddle

[daleyboy]

strong enough to fight me and put her point across

Is that with 1 arm or 2 tied behind her back? Ya big wuss

that was with my arms tied behind my back....

I did mean that on a different level tho daleyboy

[mark45y]

When I say no I mean no. It is my money and it is my decision. There is no debate there is no equality. It is my football and it is my game. In the West I would get a divorce. In Thailand it is no big deal we are happy just a bump in the road.

Would I rather have a Western woman? All things considered, yes but the ability to compromise and understand the male psyche has been lost in the West.

It has been replaced with attitude.

You mean the need to compromise has been lost. With financial independence, western women no longer have to suffer selfish, self-centred, and quite frankly odious men like yourself. So, obviously they don't. They choose some nice bloke who doesn't have "issues" and live happily ever after, while you emigrate and get ever more bitter and twisted.

Divorce rates in the West have never been higher. Mind altering drug use i.e. Prozac and the like have never been higher.

Financial independence is a sham for most women the glass ceiling still exists especially with raising children unless you want to turn over child rearing to a day care center at the kibbutz.

It is my money and my working 12 to 18 hours a day that makes the world go around. Sure have your wife work and the kids grow up to be hoodlums or nut cases or work your ass off so the lady can stay at home and raise a decent family.

Thais know this. Honest they do. All the bar girls send money home to mom and pop to raise the kids. It is like Eskimos the grandparents raise the children because the parents are out hunting.

On a personal note you called me odious, bitter and twisted. That is a little much for disagreeing with you.

Be nice! I am not calling you names. I have a different opinion than you do and that is all it is. A reasonable discourse should be able to take place without you slamming my non PC ass. Khun Cow Jai?

[thaibebop]

What do you have to say about this guys?

I like Sheilas.

[Boo]

this is all fascinating but now it's going off topic. I'm sure some people are happy with a partner who pretends to love them & who enjoys being played but can keep all the eggs in their basket & some of us like a partner who actually does love us & has no need to manipulate or pout/do silent treatement & live within a more equal structure

To remind everyone the topic is "what men want" NOT " let's slag off western women AGAIN" ok.

[mark45y]

Come on guys! What 's wrong with you arguing with each others in the ladies forum?

Frankly the women’s forum is more interesting than the other forums.

The pub and general forum all agree that Thai women are great, the beer sucks and the politics are third world. Yahoo is predicting a military coup and the local forums are concerned with where to get a good pizza. The visa forum is the same questions over and over again by people who don’t know how to use the search function. The finance forum is for the guys who wear tin hats and buy gold.

All of us guys who have successful relationships with Thai women need to have some meaningful conversations besides, "yes honey bring me another beer and you don’t have to mop the floor just because I dropped my cigarette ashes on it."

I find this forum stimulating and motivating without being threatening and dangerous.

I like the open and genuine exchange of thought with Western women and men who like them or who fill that niche market of trying to have them.

Not enough has been said in the praise of Farang ex pats who actually date Western women in Thailand. I give them a hearty three cheers. Ladies should be taken care of where ever they roam. Buy them a Guinness for me.

As far as arguing between men on the ladies forum I think that a small price to pay for the wonderful words of wisdom that are conveyed here.

[HarryHerb]

Divorce rates in the West have never been higher. Mind altering drug use i.e. Prozac and the like have never been higher.

Financial independence is a sham for most women the glass ceiling still exists especially with raising children unless you want to turn over child rearing to a day care center at the kibbutz.

It is my money and my working 12 to 18 hours a day that makes the world go around. Sure have your wife work and the kids grow up to be hoodlums or nut cases or work your ass off so the lady can stay at home and raise a decent family.

blah blah blah-dy blah

I do apologise if I offended you with my unchecked language (I thought your "un-pc ass" was made of thicker skin than that ), but I won't be drawn in to one of these tedious and ultimately futile arguments about where a woman's 'place' is, or should be - especially as it's totally off-topic.

Good night all.

[thaibebop]

this is all fascinating but now it's going off topic. I'm sure some people are happy with a partner who pretends to love them & who enjoys being played but can keep all the eggs in their basket & some of us like a partner who actually does love us & has no need to manipulate or pout/do silent treatement & live within a more equal structure

To remind everyone the topic is "what men want" NOT " let's slag off western women AGAIN" ok.

Some people have limitations Boo. You have to have patience with late bloomers.

[HarryHerb]

As far as arguing between men on the ladies forum I think that a small price to pay for the wonderful words of wisdom that are conveyed here.

Just before I go to bed: fyi I am neither arguing nor am I a man.

"Wonderful words of wisdom", well if you insist...

Sleep well.

[khall64au]

JUST FOR FUN............. I wrote this 'tongue-in-cheek' piece a few years ago - an observation of a newbie farang woman about town:

Teddy Girl

Last Friday night I had dinner with two female friends at a waterfront Italian Restaurant. We discussed past life regressions, among other topics, and men of course.

One of the girls mentioned a survey, by a woman journalist, conducted on website dating rooms. She registered herself, several times with different personas, and posted photographs, all with different looks - the sex kitten, the businesswoman, the wholesome athletic type and the little girl wearing pyjamas — in bed holding her teddy. Guess which girl got the most hits? Teddy girl!

So, we took a glance around us at the young women playing pool and flirting with their dates …. And guess what? They were all dressed like little girls wearing teddies and frills. And the men were enamoured. Oh please, you might say. No, this is not a bad dream, this is Phuket, Thailand.

So, the single white females wring their hands in despair, roll their eyes in disgust and watch on as the Europeans prance about re-discovering lost youth with women half their age and a quarter of their mental capacity. It seems that even the intelligent men on this island also lose their balls and their western wives to….. Teddy girls.

All we worked for — the education, the freedom, the overseas jobs in exotic locations, and Teddy Girl walks off the farm, flashes her sweet….. smile, and …. instant bank account. Clever Teddy girl! But poor unsuspecting farang man more than likely ends up much poorer than any western woman can grab in alimony - and some rural family is grinning in their new mansion. It’s called the new economy. Don’t bother educating your daughters- just send them to Phuket.

Today, being a rainy Sunday and our planned boat trip cancelled, I decided to go have a haircut. Jack, my London trained, gay Thai hair-stylist, lectured me between snips on the perils of life in Phuket as a single- white female — as if it had never dawned on me.

“This is no place for a single woman,” he swooned while sashaying with his scissors.

“You need to go to Spain,” he winked

No, Jack, I like my job very much. I just need to be paid hardship allowance like my mates back home who get paid extra well for living outside of Normalsville, I replied.

Jack smiled, leaning his head to the side like a cocker spaniel. I think that one went over his head.

I did meet a very special man here, who just happens to speak Spanish, but he lives on the other side of the world. He laughs raucously about my life in Thailand — during our global phone calls. He’s currently working in Alaska and plans to return to Phuket in a few months - to swing in my hammock and make me breakfast while I rush about getting ready for a day at the office.. I guess you can’t choose who you fall in love with.

[britmaveric]

Point being some lads just want Teddy Girls and if you are wise to the Teddy Girls, no harm can be done. (hard part for some lads)

[TRIPxCORE]

Well... to tell the truth, I've been romanced this week by two perfect gentlemen (2 western males romancing a western woman in LOS...YES ladies & gents it's true).

All right! Congratulations Khall! Did they romance you at the same time by any chance?

Besides, I just dismissed *(for the summer) two 12-year-olds that had crushes on me during the semester.

I think you just made a lot of guys here on the forum quite curious about your looks...you must be stunning Lady (or is it girl?)

LaoPo

Yes, now that you've brought it up LaoPo, I too am very curious about what Kat looks like and I have been for some time. C'mon Kat, you can show me. After all, you and I are good like that, right?

To remind everyone the topic is "what men want" NOT " let's slag off western women AGAIN" ok.

You're right about this Boo. I will not do that. I also have been quite curious as to what you look like too. Wanna show me?

Ok, so the subject is what do men want in a lady. If I wasn't married, I would want:

-A lady that believes love is about trust, loyalty, devotion, caring, sharing, adoration, mutual respect and thinks love is definitely not about money.

-A woman that has some things that she likes to do by herself as far as hobbies go so that she isn't always dependent on me to entertain her. Having some time to yourself is important in marriage. Too much time spent with one person will make one grow tired of the other.

-A woman that can think logically and take into account the "big picture" and not the "small picture" which has been an issue with every woman I have ever been involved with.

-A woman that knows when to use her head to accomplish something and doesn't always feel she has to use her heart. (logic over emotion)

-A woman that wants to be with me because she truly loves me and not for what I have or what I can give to her.

[daleyboy]

this is all fascinating but now it's going off topic. I'm sure some people are happy with a partner who pretends to love them & who enjoys being played but can keep all the eggs in their basket & some of us like a partner who actually does love us & has no need to manipulate or pout/do silent treatement & live within a more equal structure

To remind everyone the topic is "what men want" NOT " let's slag off western women AGAIN" ok.

Indeed . Ok to keep it simple........ i have everything i want already

[robitusson]

I admit to borrowing this idea from another blog but an interesting topic nonetheless....

What men want

In an age where scantily-clad Paris Hilton-types are ubiquitous, internet dating has become de rigueur and according to many blokes "there are too many princesses in this town" - more and more women are asking, "what in the world do modern men really want?"

The original version can be found here: http://blogs.smh.com.au/samandthecity/arch...t_men_want.html

But well, what do TV men want and what do TV ladies think they want?

I could be wrong but it may be possible that one man might want one thing and another might just want something completely different....!

[Misplaced]

Compassionate, old fashion, intelligent, polite, funny, successful, confidence and successful...

Oh crap, I just described myself.

[somchai jones]

I admit to borrowing this idea from another blog but an interesting topic nonetheless....

What men want

In an age where scantily-clad Paris Hilton-types are ubiquitous, internet dating has become de rigueur and according to many blokes "there are too many princesses in this town" - more and more women are asking, "what in the world do modern men really want?"

The original version can be found here: http://blogs.smh.com.au/samandthecity/arch...t_men_want.html

But well, what do TV men want and what do TV ladies think they want?

I could be wrong but it may be possible that one man might want one thing and another might just want something completely different....!

Bravo! Some sense at last..........although most of us would probably agree that it is rather nice if your lady isn't ugly........also, a distinct bonus if she keeps quiet whilst the football is on.

[rcalsop]

I have just had a thought when trying to think back as to when I have had happy times in my personal life .Not counting this period as previously posted I am genuinely happy and a family man .

However the two longest previous of happiness or contentment were

1/ When I lived with ie shared accomodation with 4 women ( for those older brits a bit like the television program Robins Nest ) this I did for 2 years and it was a great time . when the girls got married and moved on at reunion type meetings the girls would say they wished their marriage could have some of the old magic that our sharing had , the husbands used to say to me that they were jealous of the relationship we all had and wanted to create the same in their marriage .

We treated each other like people , cared and thought about each other ,respected each others space ,talked openly about everything and supported each other, and we celebrated each others differences

2/ The next period was when I shared a house with another man ( the house not the bedroom ) this was an amazing period we were immaculately tidy and house proud , we never argued about work in the house some times we shared cooking other times the work naturally shared itself out never an argument unless it was with woman staying over and they were untidy and disorganised .....not wiping the sink down , leaving plates and cups in the sink ,we were a real pain in the bum !!! metaphorically speaking . But we treated each other like people , cared and thought about each other ,respected each others space , talked openly about everything and supported each other, and we celebrated each others differences.

Actually I have thought of a third period of time when I had a super Arabic house keeper who was like a mother/ bodyguard protector to me . She knew me better than any one ever has , she was even allowed to touch my office papers , She vetted my girl friends and would with a eye contact or eyebrow communication tell me a lot ,she was never judgemental about the physical side just wether the girl was trouble or a nice person or if I should persue the relationship .

What this tells me about what I really want I am not sure but the one common thread about the relationships was no sex !!!!!. Is that really what I want ?????.

Is that the secret to the comfortable relationships between older couples holding hands in their 70`s relax and confident in each other like an old pair of shoes ???

Come on you amateur shrinks !!!!