My Thai Guy...

[too true]

Well, quite a little debate going on here. For what it's worth, being married to a Thai man and living in Thailand has improved MY social status, not his. Doors of Thai society have opened to me that would never have been opened if I were here with a farang partner or by myself. However, being with me has without a doubt improved HIS financial status. How could it not??? I came here with no financial ties to my home country, so I work in this country. As a foreigner, I can command a much higher salary than my Thai counterparts. I do enjoy trying out new restaurants and seeing movies before they come out on dvd and occasionally attending charity events. He is my life partner so he also experiences these things, most of which he would not be able to experience without me, or some other farang girl. I do contribute much more to our bank account. But I don't cook, and I hate cleaning bathrooms with a passion, and I don't have a maid. I also enjoy the Songkran parties, Chinese New Year parties, birthday parties, and heaps of other fun things that I would never have access to without him, or some other Thai man.

You give, you get - just the same as most other parts of life.

[Joey Boy]

Farang women are rumored to have giant equipment (mostly true in my experience)

Anyone driving through a truck tunnel on a moped would assume the tunnel is huge.

cv

[markuk]

Farang women are rumored to have giant equipment (mostly true in my experience)

Anyone driving through a truck tunnel on a moped would assume the tunnel is huge.

cv

Ive never had a problem with filling the hole!!

[sbk]

Well, my husband and I must be serious anomalies since my husband certainly didn't need to marry a farang to "make it" financially. And I have a few farang friends whose husbands are successful in their own right so didn't need to marry a rich farang either.

How unusual to have so many anomalous cases all in one place like that.

[seonai]

Same here SBK. We are equal and enjoy it that way. I chose to adapt to island rural life and it works just fine. We tried the fancy parties in Phuket scence but my husband doesn't really enjoy that. Personally I have had enough of it too. I beleive ones social status is always fluid.

And could the posters speaking very impolitely about farang females parts quit it please? I've met your type so many times here in this beautiful country. We don't need to hear your nasty drivel here.

[BambinA]

for the OP

seem i read from your other thread.. you said your BF is mixed Farang-Thai

1/2 native american 1/2 farang woman, living in America for now....in a relationship with

1/2 native american 1/2 Thai man...who's in America with me for now. Maybe someday he will want to move back to Thailand, and I would hopefully get to go with him.

does he born and live in TH b4? (and how long have he been in thai?)

if not ..he is a farang man

[Patsycat]

God, I love the HONEYMOON PHASE - mine's lasted almost a year now!!

[mark45y]

for the OP

seem i read from your other thread.. you said your BF is mixed Farang-Thai

1/2 native american 1/2 farang woman, living in America for now....in a relationship with

1/2 native american 1/2 Thai man...who's in America with me for now. Maybe someday he will want to move back to Thailand, and I would hopefully get to go with him.

does he born and live in TH b4? (and how long have he been in thai?)

if not ..he is a farang man

Bambina that is so astute. I had not read that or perhaps it was in a later post. The guy is half American Indian.

What tribe? And a repeat of Bambina question, where was he raised.

Because if he was raised in America most everything posted in this thread is in error or at least everything I posted.

[HarryHerb]

I have a good heart, and was just trying to learn about the Thai culture more, since there is obviously going to be a difference in Thailand relationship style, then in (all I know of) American relationships.

Why is this obvious? I would venture that the nuts and bolts of male-female relationships are similar the world over. And why do you assume that the 'relationship style' will be Thai and not American? Perhaps your man, as he has moved to the States and lived there for 4 years, is more into an American-style relationship.

I think that in all of my talking, I am getting confused, and maybe I am confusing others, (not saying you or anyone in particular)...who don't understand that, I am just here to learn more about Thai culture, and to see if anyone can give me any good advice. I have bought books, have looked up as much history as I can find on Thailand, and am trying to learn to speak Thai. This is my first encounter with someone of Thai culture. I know that things are different in Thailand, then in America. He has only been here for 4 years, so he's very much so still in the Thai culture. My only wish is to learn, because I like him, and so that I do not offend him, his culture, or his family, by being ignorant of Thai culture. That's all....so to everyone who reads this. Please....I am trying to learn so that I DO NOT offend....I did not come here to offend. My deepest apologies, to anyone who I have offended.

You want advice, so here is some: learn about the person, and you will learn about his culture through him. Reading up generic background material, or even posting on a forum like this is a fairly meaningless attempt at getting to know an individual and, if I may so, a particularly American one: trying to define people by their race / culture. People are people - if this man is shy, or generous, or selfish, or chauvinistic, it is 99% to do with who he is and his upbringing, and 1% to do with his cultural background. Having read a history of the pilgrim fathers, or even speaking your language does not mean I understand you any better, for example.

Be yourself, stop tiptoeing around and worrying about 'causing offence'. If the guy likes you, he will teach you himself and with any luck invite you to see his country - and his family, which is what really counts.

Re: why Thais marry farangs, I would say the vast majority of Thai women do it for the financial / social status (is there really a difference in this country? In the middle classes at least I doubt it very much). This also holds true for Thai women marrying Thai men, of course. It is rare to see a Thai woman marry 'below' herself.

I also think the large amount of freedom and equality involved in a relationship with a farang is (at least initially) attractive for both Thai men and women. Some Thai people can handle that and some can't - which is why jealousy is a common factor in break-ups here. Where it does work, it's bliss, however

[Boo]

Be yourself, stop tiptoeing around and worrying about 'causing offence'. If the guy likes you, he will teach you himself and with any luck invite you to see his country - and his family, which is what really counts.

I have tried to express this on several threads about relationships & thai culture but not this clearly.

If you can't be open & sensitive to your partners culture then you should probably not have a cross cultural relationship BUT if you can, hopefully your parner will guide you through his/her ways & you will learn to adapt but not completly replace your own opinions or cultural habits/practices for his. If your thai partner wanted a thai wife then they should have married one, marrying outside of their culture also means that THEY have to adapt & accept your culture too. It isn't a one way street.

[HarryHerb]

If your thai partner wanted a thai wife then they should have married one, marrying outside of their culture also means that THEY have to adapt & accept your culture too. It isn't a one way street.

Precisely. And the success of any relationship ultimately depends on two individuals, and how they adapt to one another, rather than any wider cultural forces; if anyone thinks otherwise they are deluding themselves.

[Kupal]

Your relationship is barely two weeks old...... everything is fantastic..... something to expect at this stage ....... enjoy the ride while it lasts........ that does not mean one night stands should be cancelled in the meantime....

Edited March 9, 2006 by Kupal

[Maigo6]

Farang women are rumored to have giant equipment (mostly true in my experience)

Anyone driving through a truck tunnel on a moped would assume the tunnel is huge.

cv

Ive never had a problem with filling the hole!!

A clenched fist don't count Mark.

[sylvafern]

I have a good heart, and was just trying to learn about the Thai culture more, since there is obviously going to be a difference in Thailand relationship style, then in (all I know of) American relationships.

Why is this obvious? I would venture that the nuts and bolts of male-female relationships are similar the world over. And why do you assume that the 'relationship style' will be Thai and not American? Perhaps your man, as he has moved to the States and lived there for 4 years, is more into an American-style relationship.

Anytime there's ever been a 'problem' in my relationship it's usually a male-female thing, sometimes a language mis-communication, but rarely a cultural thing .... if my b/f has done something that annoyed or upset me and I talk about it with farang friends who have farang boyfriends or husbands they nearly always reassure me that they've also experienced something similar and it's a male-female thing rather than cultural. Any type of relationship is always going to have its ups and downs. 'Luvin' should enjoy the honeymoon phase and take things as they come ... what's meant to be is meant to be ..... I hope you do let us know how things are going further down the track.

And maigo6 - obviously you didn't read seonai's post ... your comment is gross and not something I want to read in the ladies forum. Totally uneccessary.

[mark45y]

Farang women are rumored to have giant equipment (mostly true in my experience)

Anyone driving through a truck tunnel on a moped would assume the tunnel is huge.

cv

Ive never had a problem with filling the hole!!

A clenched fist don't count Mark.

I have dated a significant number of Thai women and a significant number of Western women. And because I am not homophobic I have taken my Thai women friends to male Go Go’s to look at the guys. I can say without the least bit of uncertainty that Thai women have smaller breasts and other parts (being nice here) and that Thai men who dance in Go Go’s have very large equipment by anyone’s standards.

As for the personal comparisons to a moped, I am waiting for a call from a female Australian lawyer and part time model and if she plays her cards right I just might show her my moped. But only if she buys the drinks and is the major money maker in the family (a reference to another thread).

I would, of course, never under any circumstances date or be with a bar girl of any nationality.

I think Thai guys are OK and count a number of them as my friends. They are pretty much like Farangs without the chest hair. Maybe they drink a little too much and have too many mia noi’s but heck this is Thailand.

And lets be honest (I really try to be) after a couple of children it does not make any difference in ethnicity except in the length of the canal, the circumference is about the same.

All in all I think Farang women have the advantage when it comes to sex because they are kinkier than Thai women.

Why are all the Farang men here and so few Farang women? I don’t know. I think it is because Thai women have what every man really wants and that is ethics and morality, a great conversational ability and a sense of gender equality and an ability to communicate on a higher spiritual plane than their sisters in the West. But I don’t have all of the answers.

I am a searcher on a quest for wisdom. Every night I walk the streets and byways seeking enlightenment with a few stops for liquid refreshments and to chant.

Some nights I find the answers to the complicated questions of the ages and other nights I just spend the wee hours of the morning meditating in the Wat with the local monks who are chanting “ Falang mee ham yai, mai?”

[britmaveric]

[LuvinMyThai]

for the OP

seem i read from your other thread.. you said your BF is mixed Farang-Thai

1/2 native american 1/2 farang woman, living in America for now....in a relationship with

1/2 native american 1/2 Thai man...who's in America with me for now. Maybe someday he will want to move back to Thailand, and I would hopefully get to go with him.

does he born and live in TH b4? (and how long have he been in thai?)

if not ..he is a farang man

Yes he is part Native American part Thai....he was born in the U.S....but when he was a small baby was moved to Thailand with his Thai mother, and lived there his whole life up until 4 years a go...so even if that makes him a farang, his beliefs, and lifestyle have always been Thai.

[LuvinMyThai]

I have a good heart, and was just trying to learn about the Thai culture more, since there is obviously going to be a difference in Thailand relationship style, then in (all I know of) American relationships.

Why is this obvious? I would venture that the nuts and bolts of male-female relationships are similar the world over. And why do you assume that the 'relationship style' will be Thai and not American? Perhaps your man, as he has moved to the States and lived there for 4 years, is more into an American-style relationship.

Anytime there's ever been a 'problem' in my relationship it's usually a male-female thing, sometimes a language mis-communication, but rarely a cultural thing .... if my b/f has done something that annoyed or upset me and I talk about it with farang friends who have farang boyfriends or husbands they nearly always reassure me that they've also experienced something similar and it's a male-female thing rather than cultural. Any type of relationship is always going to have its ups and downs. 'Luvin' should enjoy the honeymoon phase and take things as they come ... what's meant to be is meant to be ..... I hope you do let us know how things are going further down the track.

And maigo6 - obviously you didn't read seonai's post ... your comment is gross and not something I want to read in the ladies forum. Totally uneccessary.

Okay...so the reason I said "obviously, going to be a difference" is because ....in my research, ie books, online....there were some differences in relationships in Thailand, then relationships in America. According to the research I had done. I know I can't always just go on what I read in one persons book, or find online in one persons opinion. That is why I am here, to talk to lots of different people, to get different opinions.

I had read things like, in Thailand when people are dating they don't show affection, like hugging, or kissing in public. True??...not true??...I can not know this having never been there. That same sexes hold hands, but that it doesn't mean they are in a relationship. I also read a LOT about Thai men thinking that women are inferior, and should stay at home, manage the money...etc....

And that Thai men are okay to have many girlfriends at the same time. So....all of what I had read sparked my curiosity to find out if these were just broad generalizations, or just the way it is? Just because he lives in America now, doesn't mean that he doesn't still live the Thai style. He lived there from when he was a baby, until he was 32. So I am just trying to find out....I understand that just because I read in a book that, that is the way things are, doesn't mean that it is true for everyone, or every situation. Just like I have heard that in other countries people think that all americans are fat and lazy. I am neither, so I understand that there can be misconceptions, and generalizations about any country. That's why I am here to find out more!!

So even though my bf has lived in America the last 4 years, I didn't want to assume that he didn't still have his Thai beliefs. So in the beginning I wasn't sure if he would be okay with me showing affection to him in public, or if he viewed me as inferior to him.....etc...etc...

There are so many things that I have to learn...I know. When you have never been to Thailand, like myself, and never known anyone from Thailand, like myself, or never dated someone from Thailand, like myself, it's hard to know what's going to be okay and not be okay. I think that may be true in any relationship that is from 2 different cultures, from wherever.

I am feeling more comfortable with him now, since like in any relationship, time, and getting to know the person brings comfort.

When all I know is American ways, I don't think it is weird or naive of me to ask questions to try and find out more on Thai beliefs. When what I had read in my research, was making me a little uneasy.

I have plenty of experience in dating, I am not an idiot when it comes to relationships, but I have never been in a relationship with someone from another country, so I was just curious how things might be viewed differently by him, or his family back in Thailand. We are learning to communicate much better, but as I said before, there is a bit of a language barrier between him and I, so to try and ask him so many in depth questions is not easy. So currently I am just going with the flow.

I don't believe that emotions, love, or misunderstandings are any different in Thailand then they are here in America....my original questions were about dating etiquette do's and don'ts....just so I was careful not to offend him, or his beliefs. I am a good hearted person, who doesn't like to upset anyone. I am happy, and I like to make other people happy. That's just my way. Which I know can be found all over the World.

[LuvinMyThai]

As far as Western women competing with Thai women, I don’t think they have the tools. There are a lot of good looking young Western men living in Thailand and they would not go out with a Farang women at any price (been there done that and got the tee shirt).

Farang women have the advantage of skin color and novelity but I think that is where it ends.

As a Western woman your priorities are different, they are not Thai priorities. You have some sense of fair play and justice outside your family. You have some sense of Christian morals. You have some sense or equality for gender and race and religion. Being brought up a Christian you will have a very hard time understanding Buddhism and Animism that is the source of ethics and morality in Thailand.

Another poster on this forum in another thread mentioned her doubt of accepting Thai culture without applying Western concepts of morality and justice and general day to day stuff. She wondered why it was not appropriate she judge Thais by her Western standards. The answer to her question is simple. No, you can not judge Thai’s by Western standards.

It is good you seek information about Thai’s because that shows you have a desire to know something about the culture that your new acquaintance is coming from. I would also suggest, knowing something about the culture that you have your new friend checked out at the local clinic. Complete blood work for all of the usual suspects.

Hello handsome man is not so far removed from hello pretty woman. Love at one week sounds vaguely familiar to me.

I don't recall saying anything about wanting to judge Thai's by my Western concepts....I do a lot of spiritual work in my heart and mind as to not judge anybody....if I don't understand something, I do not think it is right or wrong, or good or bad....I only try to understand more where someone is coming from. I love all people...and try very hard to have a open mind about everything. I do not like to limit myself to one way of thinking or believing, as I believe the possibilities are endless for my own personal growth.

I don't understand your comment about "farang woman having skin color and novelty....but that's where it ends"..... And I am in no way trying to compete with anybody!?

I'm not even going to touch on that one though....because I don't want to go off on how ridiculous that comment is.....maybe you meant it in another way....I'll give you the benefit of the doubt....

I personally was not brought up in the Christian religion, and do not believe anything close to what they teach at Christian churches. I can identify more with what I have read on Buddhisim....by no means am I well educated on the matter, but can relate in my heart better, then with Christian religion. I have read more books on Buddhisim then Christianity, mostly books that were written by buddhist monks, spiritual uplifting books....

Why the comment about taking him to the clinic?? I wouldn't demand that an american man go to the clinic....unless I was concerned.....why should make a Thai man go....there's got to be more behind that comment, in your opinion, yes?

[pumbaa]

I guess I don't see why so many people on here have negative things to say of Thai men?

Maybe experience

If its right for you, then you go girl life is short, experience all of it to the fullest.

[Jasmine]

Why the comment about taking him to the clinic?? I wouldn't demand that an american man go to the clinic....unless I was concerned.....why should make a Thai man go....there's got to be more behind that comment, in your opinion, yes?

The implication in that comment is that all Thai men are sleeping with hundreds of prostitutes (and other men apparently) and therefore have STD's and possibly HIV.

When I first started seeing my (Thai)husband I listened to lots of these comments and scared myself witless. I insisted we got HIV etc tests before we slept together and a follow up one 6 months later. Had I actually listened to my parner and not these people I would have realised he was telling me the truth about his past. Tests were all clean of course

It makes sense to check out anyones past before sleeping with them whatever their nationality. The person who made that comment to you states that he prefers women who have slept with 1000 men cos they're more experienced on another thread so I'm guessing he practices what he preaches