Street Harassment

[Boo]

and your ignorance of what it is like to a be a lone woman here makes me despair. That every woman on this thread has offered pretty much the same advice should tell you something.

The op has no personal relationship with the neighborhood around her, she has no bf, no close friends to help, it is her alone.

I really don't see what point you are trying to make, she has to defend herself as she has no one else to rely on for it unless of course you are suggesting that she should just roll over & let this guy do what he wants to her?

I suggest you just take our word for it when we say, as women, that we know how to deal with perverts best, most of us have had more than one encounter in our lives.

Oh & just for clarity, I asked my 44 year old thai husband what the best course of action was for a women alone who is being attacked on the street, his advice, shout loud & continually & hit back as much as possible. But hey, he knows nothing about thai cultural dynamics obviously.

[mandee]

I used to have some pepper spray and when indoors gave it a minute touch, not near my face, for the next 10 minutes I was coughing and choking over the balcony, great stuff !

Bought some in Foodland pharmacy Pattaya ( can't get it nowadays), the assistant gave it a small test burst. Foodland cleared out largely as IN recall.

[HeavyDrinker]

You are all in cushy positions.

You all have Thai hubbies, friends and family to fall back on.

It's a nice easy call for you all.

To tell this lass, who has no-one here, to 'fight back' is lunacy. What if he has mates hanging around? Mates who on seeing her fighting back, drag her off...

She needs to get Thais involved indescreetly and fast, NOT take matters into her own hands.

[Boo]

again, you miss the point, she has NO thais to get involved, so what is she supposed to do until she makes some friends, take the assault ? No, she takes the precautions to avoid running into him but she also needs to make sure that if she does she can look after herself.

Please move into the real world.

[HeavyDrinker]

Dude, she had/has colleagues.

Even Thais she meets on a day-to-day basis; street vendors, security guards:- she could even go into a bank and tell the educated folk she has a problem - and they would help with this vile problem and would get something done.

A single lass on her own - in your words - with no Thais - spray him with pepper spray...come on...and when that wears off....?

You're arguing here to save face but you know I'm right.

[Boo]

um, no you aren't right, as I mentioned on another thread, unless you are a women & have had to deal with a sexual assult/ pervert yourself you have not a clue. every single women on this thread has posted the same advice, for the op to defend herself.

If she took your advice & waited for some random thai person to do something she would end up raped or dead in a ditch or at best hiding in her house afraid to go out. Really you have no an idea of what women have to deal with in Thailand or any where else & it's unhelpful advice like yours that really highlight how little men know of the dangers women face daily, dude.

The op & every women on this thread knows what needs to be done. You can't accept it but that's fine, you aren't the one who has to deal with it are you?

You are wrong but your ego can't take it. Learn to accept it.

Even Thais she meets on a day-to-day basis; street vendors, security
guards:- she could even go into a bank and tell the educated folk she
has a problem - and they would help with this vile problem and would
get something done.

this is funny, go to a bank & tell them, um ok, when should she do this, whilst he is assaulting her or after, when she may possibly be able to get away. How does she get away anyway, just stand there & take it till he gets bored & then go & tell the edumacated thai people. Really, I think you are trolling now.

[HeavyDrinker]

He is doing it in a public place and has NOT assaulted her. You're getting hysterical now.

[Boo]

he grabbed her that is an assault. Yes, I must be hysterical, that's always the fall back for men when a women disagrees with them! Really, try another tack.

[HeavyDrinker]

I'm on the lady's side here Boo. Yet there are better ways, far better ways, to deal with shit here than pepper spray.

You claim to know how well Thais think, then you'd know how mortified they'd be to hear of this. Tell them.

Let them deal with it. They will.

[Boo]

you seem unable to accept that the op has already stated she doesn't have anyone to help her. Yes, she has contacted the police, she has spoken to the neighborhood but she is still at risk. You assume that strangers will help her but that is a huge assumption to make. What happens if help doesn't come when she calls, what happens if this guy hunts her down & corners her far from anyone else? Where does your advice get her then?

I'm sure you think you are right & yet you know nothing about her neighborhood or the people around her & the op cannot rely solely on the hope that someone else will help her if she is in need.

You claim to know how well Thais think, then you'd know how mortified they'd be to hear of this. Tell them.

Let them deal with it. They will.

I'm not the one saying the thais will do this or that. I don't claim anything except that Thai people are like any people, the majority are good but lots are not. Like people anywhere, there is no guarantee that anyone will get involved or even give a crap.

Really you speak of them as if they are a collective, they aren't but your belief in their character is sweet.

Anyway, I'm sure the op knows what is best for her, she asked for advice & was given it and she has already made moves to sort her problem out.

[HeavyDrinker]

Lets hope so!!!

[isawasnake]

He needs to know you have a man in your life in my opinion. That is how the mind frame is here; I have seen this many times, more so out in the country. Women without a husband really get walked on out there, and I'm sure that terrible attitude kind of carries over.

I too wonder about the efficacy of Thai police involvement. In all seriousness, I may be inclined to head to Lumpini Park and give the toughest boxer you can find a good paycheck.

I wish you the best, this is truly terrible

[mike123ca]

Is pepper spray legal in Thailand? Are foreigner's allowed to use it?

I wanted to buy a hand gun, but I was told only Thai people could own guns.

I asked what would happen if someone broke into my house. I still couldn't

defend my home without risk of jail or deportation, I was told to let my wife to shoot the intruder.

They don't want foreigners assaulting Thais.

I agree the woman op should do what is necessary for self protection. Just remember,

the bad guy has the home field advantage.

[sbk]

typed something out but really, some of you men leave me speechless with how clueless you are.

[Sheryl]

You can, but if you can get a photo of him it will help. Or might there have been any people who witnessed it or at least would know who he was, e.g. people living in the soi he drove by on? If you can find someone who knows who he is it will up the chances of the poice having a word with him.

Street harrassement is very common in Thailand but what you describe goes well beyond that into actual assault and the escalating nature of his behavior is indeed something to worry about. Do report it to police and also see if you can get some help from neighbors/Thai friends.

That's scary Sheryl, street harassment very common in Thailand? I thought not having that was one of the things Thailand had going for it. I have lived here for 7 years with no problem. I better buy some pepper spray.

Are you a woman?

It's a rare woman who lives 7 years anywhere without ever experiencing harassment.

[NoshowJones]

You can, but if you can get a photo of him it will help. Or might there have been any people who witnessed it or at least would know who he was, e.g. people living in the soi he drove by on? If you can find someone who knows who he is it will up the chances of the poice having a word with him.

Street harrassement is very common in Thailand but what you describe goes well beyond that into actual assault and the escalating nature of his behavior is indeed something to worry about. Do report it to police and also see if you can get some help from neighbors/Thai friends.

That's scary Sheryl, street harassment very common in Thailand? I thought not having that was one of the things Thailand had going for it. I have lived here for 7 years with no problem. I better buy some pepper spray.

Are you a woman?

It's a rare woman who lives 7 years anywhere without ever experiencing harassment.

I'm sorry Sheryl, No I'm not a woman, I just took it for granted that the OP was a man. The only women I know on Thai visa is yourself and Rene, I must have missed something when I read about the OPs problem. I just assumed that maybe the scum who was pestering the OP was a Homosexual.That sort of thing happens in the UK, men pestering men. Please accept my apologies.

[ragamuffin]

Ladies section of the forum?

[Bokchoi]

Some men - both farang and Thai - can be quite unpredictable and wanting. About 8 months back a bloke followed me after I'd stepped out of a karaoke bar. Maybe he'd been listening to the seductive tones of my voice. Cannot say if he understood English. For about 20 minutes I could almost hear him breathing down my neck. In a bid to get rid of him I stopped, crossed the road, did a turn, then turned back.....After 20 trying moments finally I thought he'd got tired and gone. Then suddenly he popped up just ahead in the darkened doorway of a closed shop. Half-dropped his trousers and pulled his underwear - to my shock. Not knowing what to do I pointed at his family jewels and laughed loud and long. All the time reaching into my bag for my mobile phone. By the time I had fished out my phone the man had disappeared and I never saw him again.

WIth hindsight, I do feel flattered at the idea of being stalked and can't complain unless a stalker is positively ugly looking or gets into a state of "all action and no words". That would terrify me. I could not find pepper spray so following this experience, I saved a used spray cannister, pryed it open and filled it with a home-made brew comprising - lime juice with loads of pepper plus some salt, chilli powder & turmeric. sigh. A lass can't be too careful in Thailand or anywhere today.

[ragamuffin]

That's awful and would certainly have freaked me out.

[sbk]

Ladies section of the forum?

Its already there, some people just can't help themselves

[JimmyTheMook]

re: Mace / Pepper Spray

Even when sprayed directly at a target you're prone to inhaling some or having it effect you to a lesser degree than the recipient , it is a good deterrent but use it wisely if needed.

[teacher17]

heavydrinker, drinking too much these days? I'd say you've been drinking a lot, because a lot of what you say does not make any sense and basically you say that women should never fight back if they are being attacked?? So, if you were about to be raped/murdered, whatever...you wouldn't fight back or use pepper spray or anything, but wait until someone helped you out?? Not realistic....In fact, I've read somewhere (though can't remember where, sorry...) about how you're more likely to survive if you fight back and make a ruckus.

[Patsycat]

It's a horrible situation to be in, and can happen all over the world even in "safe Switzerland".

The home made mace, mentioned above, sounds like a good idea - not as vicious as the bought stuff. Also, taking his pic seems a bit silly. Fumbling around in your bag, getting the phone on camera etc. can take up time. Also he could nick the phone. and then you lose all your contacts.

Good luck OP, I hope they catch the bastard.

[phuturatica]

I hope the OP has got rid of this horrible man and is safe.

[krisb]

Knee him in the nuts hard as you can. Then give him another for good luck.

[marstons]

If you can maybe worth checking with the police what forms of defense you can use, whilst i agree you are in a terrible situation using a non legal weapon could lead you into trouble with the police. He is obviously not all there upstairs and his reaction to the spray maybe not to good and as stated if used incorrectly could also incapacitate you. If it does not stop, personally i would consider the option of a move. Of course you should not have to, but keep it as an option.. in my experience sexual harassment is not considered any big deal by the police.

fingers crossed he is not around when you come back.

F*** off is prity much an international language, i think he will get the drift of what you mean

[Ijustwannateach]

I've consistently heard complaints from woman friends and coworkers about unwanted and antisocial attention directed towards them in public here. Hope OP finds a solution; it must add quite a bit of stress each day to go out wondering if you will be dealing with that POS.

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[Konini]

I found myself in a situation years ago when 3 young blokes in hoodies were coming towards me, one on either side of me and obviously were after my bag rather than my body. I didn't have pepper spray, personal alarm or anything else. Thinking on my feet, I did an Incredible Hulk. Growling, screaming, arms flailing. I must have come across as a real phsyco because they ran away.

Don't know if it would work again, but it was the only thing I had, and it did the job. If you have nothing else, it has to be worth a try.