Help With Poetic Phrasing?

[MaxwellsDemon]

I'm trying to construct something a poetic phrase;

ใจอดทน สบายใจ

The meaning I'm trying to convey is a mixture of things;

Be patient and endure, and you will be at ease.

Be patient and enduring through being comfortable and content.

To be patient and enduring is to be content and comfortable.

Namely, อดทน and สบาย go hand-in-hand.

Is it okay to leave the phrase the way it is, or should there be some sort of connecting word to link the two ideas together?

Poetry doesn't need to be 100% grammatically correct, but it has to be coherent and understandable!

[rgs2001uk]

I am no poet, but would be tempted to link the two phrases with (จะ)ทำให้

ใจอดทน(จะ)ทำให้สบายใจ this is the way I would speak it in normal conversation, or even,

ความอดทน(จะ)ทำให้สบายใจ

what about, patience and endurance, ความอดทนกับความมั่นคง

ความอดทนกับความมั่นคง(จะ)ทำให้สบายใจ

[MaxwellsDemon]

Ah, yes. Dunno why I didn't think of ทำให้. Adding จะ is mostly a pedantic word, like saying "Anger leads to the dark side" vs "Anger will lead to the dark side", ใช่ไหม?

[rgs2001uk]

Ah, yes. Dunno why I didn't think of ทำให้. Adding จะ is mostly a pedantic word, like saying "Anger leads to the dark side" vs "Anger will lead to the dark side", ใช่ไหม?

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