The Secrets To Dating A Thai Guy

[HughJass]

come on ladies tell us what they are like in the sack?

[Chittychangchang]

come on ladies tell us what they are like in the sack?

Not that good otherwise Thailand would be called Gambia.

[Thaddeus]

Once chiangmaikelly turns up this will be perfect.

Not without JingThing.

[Ijustwannateach]

Oh dear, they've all crawled out fo the wood work haven't they!

See this is why you can't have a normal discussion about this stuff on thaivisa.

I have cleaned up some of the comments but the next derogatory comment about thai people or western women will result in me going postal. ok?

I really don't have the patience for it.

Yes, it gets to the point where instead of arguing or pointing out alternative experiences or viewpoints, you just say, 'ok, who am I to disturb your misery?'

Trying to get back on topic, I have found that when a relationship with a good guy is genuine, they are really not all that different from guys, period. Decent behaviour is still decent behaviour, and it's still out there when you find Thais who have a job and a life. I don't find myself wondering about the 'mystery of the oooooreeeeeeeyennnnntaaaaalllle' anymore- that's tourist malarkey. People who want mystery on holiday mainly want to cover up what they don't really want to know about the Thais who frequent the tourist zones- like who they'll be with next week when you're back in Blighty.

CTRL + Q to Enable/Disable GoPhoto.it

[rene123]

I think Swiss1960 made one of the better comments by men... quote "Hmm... since I personally have no intention to date a Thai guy... and since I am not a girl... would that not be better positioned in the Ladies Forum? Just asking... "

Yes, this topic WOULD be better in the woman's forum, considering that it IS gender specific. Unless there are some Thai men who can put a different perspective on it.

Of course, farang men seem to do a lot of "trolling" in the ladies forum as well.

[PB1]

Emotive,reactionary artical and photograph.(That explains some of the comments)
The brown foot next to the white foot with the elegantly mysterious black toe nail paint amid the romantic warm sea background.
From my experience here the Thai men are seeking something deeper and the allure of a westerner has it's curiousities amongst other attractions.

[rattler]

As someone who has been out with a Thai guy before... The article is kinda accurate and correct with regards to me... However I'm aware it doesn't apply to everyone.

For me, the cultural differences were way too much and I ended up feeling very frustrated most of the time. I called the whole thing off and now he doesn't speak to me at all as I made him lose face by dumping him.

But oh well... Onward and upwards right?

From this experience I will never date a Thai guy again as I don't think I'm cut out to deal with the cultural differences.

P.S. I have nothing against Thai people and I am not Thai bashing FYI.

You could just have said he was "immature"

Dont worry later he'll have "many" other women.

[doji]

I don’t think there are any secrets of dating a thai guy specifically. The article could also apply to any asian guys in general or any guy with strong family values and their own cultural & traditional beliefs.
Not all thai guys are that traditional…. depending on their life exposure experiences, and education backgrounds (oversea education or in-house education, makes big difference in how they behave and think on daily life basis).

But I also agree with the article that “thai men (also asians generally) will approach you with respect and want to be a friend first before getting any serious. They like joking around, putting you on a pedestal, and will want to pay for meals when outing together. The younger they are, the more they would want someone with similar age, and similar or higher education background than them. Many times they will seek advices from their friends about you, if they’re unsure. Network of closefriends is very important to him and approval of you from his friends is also equally important. Many times you will feel like ...you are not only dating him, but his friends too LOL. His friends will also treat you with respect if they know he’s seriously in a relationship with you. Generally a thai man like to take quite a long time before asking you to marry him. Long dating period is usually very important to him (same as for thai woman generallly), to see if you're the right one for him. Once he approves of you, then he will take you to see his family (and this is very important and final step for him, to get approval from his family as well).

Not all thai men like wailing, chanting at a nearby wat on every fullmoon, pissing drunk, or always wanting mianoi(s). There are good and bad thai men, just like good and bad farangs, or other nationalies as well.

A person is an individual person first who comes with perfection and flaws, when you decide to date that person, being a thai specifically has nothing to do with it. As long as a couple can see in each other those perfections/flaws, and either except them, or learn how to compromise or balance each other out, I think these are the keys for having a good partner. Just because he’s a thai or a farang doesn’t make him "automatically" a good partner for you.

Edited March 19, 2013 by doji

[NanLaew]

I think it's an interesting topic, a change from the western man / Thai woman dynamic.

I would like to hear more about these "cultural differences". Such a vague explanation. But then some prefer to keep their private lives private....

Think about the 'towel stays on until she is in bed' ritual.

Now think about the bloke doing it.

Got it now?

[NanLaew]

... Of course, farang men seem to do a lot of "trolling" in the ladies forum as well.

No, no, that is TRAWLING. Same-same but different.

[Locationthailand]

Any western lady wishing a relationship (short or long term) with a Thai guy - go for it. Life is full of varied experiences and having guidelines or suggestions - great. Form your own opinions and experience life.

[jamhar]

Although I'm not looking for a relationship at this time, the few experiences I have had with Thai men have been similar to what the article said. I also agree with phuturatica in that I believe the cultural differences might be too much for me. But, my main problem is that most attractive Thai men I've met are shorter than I am, and I'm just shallow enough that it makes a difference.

Not shallow. Its a common universal requirement of women in the US also. I tried dating someone taller than me once. I use to joke that I needed climbing gear to kiss her, esp when she wore heels. I cant remember why we didn't work out. Heard she married a volleyball player.

As most Thai men are shorter than most western women (esp in heels), i haven't seen too many western women/thai men relationships and don't expect too. With one exception. My college buddy. He ended up marrying a western girl about his height. They still have cultural issues, but their 3 kids makes for a solid bond. They live in the US and his kids are pretty westernized, so he's the odd man out with cultural issues most of the time lol.

[Scully]

As someone who has been out with a Thai guy before... The article is kinda accurate and correct with regards to me... However I'm aware it doesn't apply to everyone.

For me, the cultural differences were way too much and I ended up feeling very frustrated most of the time. I called the whole thing off and now he doesn't speak to me at all as I made him lose face by dumping him.

But oh well... Onward and upwards right?

From this experience I will never date a Thai guy again as I don't think I'm cut out to deal with the cultural differences.

P.S. I have nothing against Thai people and I am not Thai bashing FYI.

You could just have said he was "immature"

Dont worry later he'll have "many" other women.

I met an older Thai guy the other day who couldn't wait to tell me about the size of his geeks breasts.

I stayed in a farm house with girlfriend son.mum,dad,sil kids for 5 years, I think I know a little about Thai culture and I wish I had the sense of Phuturatica and got out early. It's an experience I will never regret but its just the respect the girls have to give their mother even when they know they are wrong.

Boys on the other hand seem to be the opposite and can't do wrong. My mate take the pee and says I need to go wait outside the orphanage and wait for the ones who are old enough and are leaving, all my problems were mother in law related but I know its not always the case but I bet cash is given to them 90% of the time.

[Andre0720]

I don't really relate to any of this but as the writer is based on KPG she clearly has experinces specific to that scene but here's my tuppance;

I think it is very dangerous to offer yourslef up as an "expert" on thai men in so much that you think you can not only write an article on how to date them but to also run a business catering to women traveling in thailand. It is a very dangerous occupation indeed.

My advice after numerous years, several thai bf & one 10+ years thai husband.....be yourself. Sure be respectful to his family, I would do that with anyones family, listen to his opinions, I would do that with any bf, have space as a couple, I would have space with any bf from any country & lastly, don't try to be thai, if that's what he wanted then he wouldn't have picked a westerner.

Oh & before I forget, calling you gf fat, in any culture is out of order, thai men also understand this so the writer should probably think about why her bf's have been so rude.

Just sayin'

Should more expertise be sought, then it might be appropriate to refer to James Redfield, who spent more than 15 years as a therapist to abused adolescents.

Based on his teachings, I told my son that , when meeting an interesting girl, to as her to decribe how it was with her parents.

If there are no mention of a father and a mother being there for her, to provide a good education and coaching, and a good teaching of how to become a responsible adult, I told him that he should right then run away.

Based on what I know of how of the upbringing of children in Thailand, a lot of people should be on the run now...

[phuturatica]

As someone who has been out with a Thai guy before... The article is kinda accurate and correct with regards to me... However I'm aware it doesn't apply to everyone.

For me, the cultural differences were way too much and I ended up feeling very frustrated most of the time. I called the whole thing off and now he doesn't speak to me at all as I made him lose face by dumping him.

But oh well... Onward and upwards right?

From this experience I will never date a Thai guy again as I don't think I'm cut out to deal with the cultural differences.

P.S. I have nothing against Thai people and I am not Thai bashing FYI.

You could just have said he was "immature"

Dont worry later he'll have "many" other women.

If I wanted to say he was immature then I would have said that.

Don't put words into my mouth about my relationships.

As for having plenty more women, I really couldn't care less and I wish him all the happiness.

[TommoPhysicist]

The secret of dating a Thai guy is to be a Thai woman.

I can't see that western people (male or female) have much to offer to Thai partners, apart from an enhanced lifestyle.

Better for most to choose someone from their own culture and speaking their own language as a partner.

[asiamaster]

Born and raised in Asia and having spent over 30 years in this region I could add quite a few comments but I fear they would only be deleted by some ignorant moderator - so I will refrain from doing so.....

[Andre0720]

Born and raised in Asia and having spent over 30 years in this region I could add quite a few comments but I fear they would only be deleted by some ignorant moderator - so I will refrain from doing so.....

Well, I did add a comment of what I know of Thailand. A description of a reality. Not deleted up to now.

From what I can read, these moderators do not always have it easy. They sometimes even keep a blind eye regarding some of my comments..

[Docno]

I need to show this bit to my Thai girlfriend:

"Incorporate the best parts of Thainess to your actions, without losing
your personality. This means showing extra patience, femininity, and
sweetness (do your best not to argue with him or yell at him), but also
carrying your own handbag, and be able to hold and buy your own drinks."

Next time I see her, I'll say: "stop yelling at me... and go buy your own bottle of S-py"

[daoyai]

....interesting topic, I think an important factor is if the farang, (male or female) is here on holiday or plans to stay long term. To a large extent that will determin the nature of the relationship. Obviously if one is here for1-2 weeks then it is percieved more as a "fling' and many of the issues and concerns you have in a LTR are not important. It seems in the south where the men are more toned and tanned they attract more Euro babes and it is not uncommon for the girls tp pay for everything....... No one wants to give their heart to someone that will be gone soon. If you are here for a long term, then you have time to learn cultural expectations and differences. It takes time to know if a person is "the right one" and that is true anywhere.

[HerbalEd]

Trolling around in internet-forums is also a way to kill time.

Cheers.

Who is trolling?!

The OP.

Oh! I thought it was you.

[Card]

Pay half the bill on your first date ...

I don't recommend this, decent Thai guys won't let his ladies to pay bills, absolutely not on the first date. By paying the bills on the first encounter will embarrass him, he needs to show his girl that he's a gentleman and can take care of all these. If he happens to be less well off, he won't ask you out until he has enough money to pay all the bills.

Subsequent dates he may allow his lady to pay some of the expenses. However, I don't think paying 50-50 is ideal in Thai society. If you're a guy or in a higher social position, you should pay more than the others.

Well paying anything at all doesn't apply to gay Thai guys! If it did I'd still be rich now.

[TommoPhysicist]

Pay half the bill on your first date ...

I don't recommend this, decent Thai guys won't let his ladies to pay bills, absolutely not on the first date. By paying the bills on the first encounter will embarrass him, he needs to show his girl that he's a gentleman and can take care of all these. If he happens to be less well off, he won't ask you out until he has enough money to pay all the bills.

Subsequent dates he may allow his lady to pay some of the expenses. However, I don't think paying 50-50 is ideal in Thai society. If you're a guy or in a higher social position, you should pay more than the others.

From what I've seen, most wealthy older Thai ladies dating younger attractive Thai guys pass the guys the money under the table.

[Card]

....interesting topic, I think an important factor is if the farang, (male or female) is here on holiday or plans to stay long term. To a large extent that will determin the nature of the relationship. Obviously if one is here for1-2 weeks then it is percieved more as a "fling' and many of the issues and concerns you have in a LTR are not important. It seems in the south where the men are more toned and tanned they attract more Euro babes and it is not uncommon for the girls tp pay for everything....... No one wants to give their heart to someone that will be gone soon. If you are here for a long term, then you have time to learn cultural expectations and differences. It takes time to know if a person is "the right one" and that is true anywhere.

Euro babes?

[Sheryl]

Yes, this topic WOULD be better in the woman's forum, considering that it IS gender specific. Unless there are some Thai men who can put a different perspective on it.

Of course, farang men seem to do a lot of "trolling" in the ladies forum as well.

Indeed, they literally overrun it.

[arthurwait]

As someone who has been out with a Thai guy before... The article is kinda accurate and correct with regards to me... However I'm aware it doesn't apply to everyone.

For me, the cultural differences were way too much and I ended up feeling very frustrated most of the time. I called the whole thing off and now he doesn't speak to me at all as I made him lose face by dumping him.

But oh well... Onward and upwards right?

From this experience I will never date a Thai guy again as I don't think I'm cut out to deal with the cultural differences.

P.S. I have nothing against Thai people and I am not Thai bashing FYI.

You could just have said he was "immature"

Dont worry later he'll have "many" other women.

I met an older Thai guy the other day who couldn't wait to tell me about the size of his geeks breasts.

I stayed in a farm house with girlfriend son.mum,dad,sil kids for 5 years, I think I know a little about Thai culture and I wish I had the sense of Phuturatica and got out early. It's an experience I will never regret but its just the respect the girls have to give their mother even when they know they are wrong.

Boys on the other hand seem to be the opposite and can't do wrong. My mate take the pee and says I need to go wait outside the orphanage and wait for the ones who are old enough and are leaving, all my problems were mother in law related but I know its not always the case but I bet cash is given to them 90% of the time.

All my Thai mates at university in the UK ( all doing masters or degrees obviously in a second language before anyone comments on their education level) it seemed their favourite phrase was ' blond hair and big tiXXs' they certainly weren't planning on waiting for the fourth date. Maybe times have changed in the last decade.

[tingtongfarang]

In regards to the thai guy paying the bill or 50/50,

Quite a few times i have seen western girls out with a thai guy and his mates in resteraunts,

Always i was curious who was going to pay the bill...sometimes money was passed under the table to the bf...other times the bill was offered to the bf but the western girl reached out and took it while the thai guys looked in another direction.

[poanoi]

I pay the bill and leave it to the girl to pay tip, if any, since it's not my custom.

[eek]

Some of you seem have a pretty despicable view of relationships. Feel sorry for you.

[tingtongfarang]

Some of you seem have a pretty despicable view of relationships. Feel sorry for you.

In my case its just an observation.