Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya

[Mooner]

think you have a problem because whenever the word "prostitute" is used you get upset and start defending them.

The word prostitute is merely a job description. It doesn't indicate my personal opinion of them. It is not a derogatory word. I'm not calling them "whores".

I'm sorry to hear that so many bargirls refuse to go with you, but it is their choice.

It's not the word 'prostitute' that upsets me. What upsets me is that you seem to believe that every female who works in Pattaya is a prostitute.

Yes, the word prostitute' is merely a job description, and yes, it applies to women who sleep with customers for payment...BUT...not every female who works in a bar sleeps with customers.

If you have trouble believing that, take yourself along to a few bars, speak with the bar owners/managers/mamsans and ask them how many girls in the employ do not go with customers.

Your trying to tell us that not all bar girls or Gogo girls in pattaya are not prostitute,unbelievable,it may be so for the first couple of nights with a few of the girls,but then they soon change.

No, I'm trying to tell you that not all girls or gogo girls in Pattaya are prostitutes.

Why don't you and Tropo get together one night and do as I have suggested above. Both of you might then start realizing how wrong you are with your poor regard of bar working women.

If it makes you both happier, let me state that all of Pattaya's freelancers are prostitutes, however, not all of Pattaya's women who walk Pattaya streets are freelancers.

I hope you both can work out the difference....but I doubt that you can.

Your now trying to twist things around,I never said or suggested that All Pattaya girls are prostitutes,what I did say is that

the girls who work in the beer bars or GoGo are prostitutes,if not on day one,then shortly afterwards.

Im sure they probably do. Some girls are all about the money. They dont care who they go with. Some as mentioned do not go but probably do in time as maybe they are picky and only go with guys they like.

Damn i wish i could get paid to sleep with women i find attractive! My friend works in Australia and comes to Thailand 3 or 4 times a year. Girls are on first name terms with him in a lot of bars from Soi 7 to Walking St and i go and hangout with him sometimes. Not that im in to bar girls etc but you actually can have a laugh and a joke with the girls and i know there are girls that dont go as my friend tries with a few girls he knows and they always say "no".

He's 25, slim and not bad looking so its not they are repulsed. They genuinely dont go.

[tropo]

You are a real worry aunt.

Now, you're trying to analyze me and to read my mind. You have gone so far as to wrongly quote my words and to wrongly tell me what I'm thinking.

You have tried to analyze the OP...and failed. You are trying to analyze me...and failing miserably.

Are you a frustrated wannabe shrink?

You sidestepped all the questions I posed for you in a previous post, and why? Are you frightened that others might be critical of your lifestyle, the same as you're critical of the OP chosen life style?

You have had your fair share of Thailand prostitutes. You waited in line for your turn to be with them and now you are the type of person who would go to their next customer (immediately after you) and tell them what fools they are to have slept with a prostitute.

You incorrectly think that anybody and everybody who works in a bar is a prostitute and you have made your views very clear on what you think about these girls. Yet, you willingly live among them.

You can't accept that some people like the OP would want to live with such a girl. As stated in an earlier post, there is an estimated 40 million prostitutes world wide. You are advocating that each and every one of these girls should live alone. They are not worthy of having a live-in boyfriend because of the trade they have entered.

You can't accept the OP's words when he states that he is very happy with his girl and his lifestyle. You take joy in openly criticizing him but you won't divulge any information about your lifestyle, your partner (if you have one), your failures in life, and all because you might cop some flak from him, the same type flak that you're dishing out to him.

How the OP chooses to live his life has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Bigotry is the state of mind of a bigot: someone who, as a result of their prejudices, treats other people with hatred, contempt, and intolerance on the basis of a person's race, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, national origin, religion, language, socioeconomic status, or other status.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bigotry

My view on life: Live and let live.

What's up with you? Are you incapable of basic deduction?

You suggested that people who think that all bargirls in Pattaya are prostitutes have a low opinion of bargirls. The only conclusion to draw here is that you consider prostitutes as low life because you don't want all the girls to be grouped with them.

Obviously you're the one judging prostitution.

Surely you can grasp that?

(Before you respond, take a deep breath and remain calm)

(You can ask as many questions as you like but I won't be offering you details about my own relationship. Go ahead and make all the assumptions you like as I'm sure you will. I will not take them personally)

Edited April 18, 2013 by tropo

[raro]

more bickering deleted and holidays dished out. You have been warned, several times!

[corkythecat]

quote "I'm 50 years old, and working as an ICT and History teacher at an international school in Pattaya".

Hardly anonymous unless that job title is an alias. If so, some similar guy will have some explaining to do.

But to the point..Good on you ! so many guys get hung up with complex relationships and if yours is true..why not ?

Only problem you LOVE her..not so good.

Best Regards

[Totster]

more bickering deleted and holidays dished out. You have been warned, several times!

i thought we were not allowed to discuss prostitution especially when you return to the forum under a new username,seems to be a whole new bunch of rules in this forum that i dont know about.

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Also not allowed to discuss moderation if you remember..

Anyhow, I think this has been a good topic to discuss which touches some good issues, for me it's nice there has been some discretion from the red and blue team and certainly not the kind of discussion that prompted the rule in the first place.

totster

Edited April 18, 2013 by Totster

[raro]

The rule says that discussing the specifics of prostitution is not allowed, not prostitution as such. I.e. not discuss which girl works where and how much is the barfine but there is no problem discussing prostitution as such.

Further, the discussion of moderation is not certainly allowed and I let this time pass as apparently some clarification was needed.

For further questions in this matter please contact support.

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[Mighty Mouse]

What's up with you? Are you incapable of basic deduction?

You suggested that people who think that all bargirls in Pattaya are prostitutes have a low opinion of bargirls. The only conclusion to draw here is that you consider prostitutes as low life because you don't want all the girls to be grouped with them.

Obviously you're the one judging prostitution.

Surely you can grasp that?

(Before you respond, take a deep breath and remain calm)

(You can ask as many questions as you like but I won't be offering you details about my own relationship. Go ahead and make all the assumptions you like as I'm sure you will. I will not take them personally)

You are still trying to analyze my thinking. You are so far off the mark that it's has become quite tedious and boring. This will be my last post directed towards you.

Probably the main reason that I entered this thread was to add some balance to the general discussion. You and some others sat up on your respective high horses and made negative judgements about the OP, his chosen partner and their living arrangement. You gave no consideration as to why this particular Thai girl entered the trade, how long she has been in the trade, or how long she intends to remain in the trade. You know absolutely nothing about her or how she thinks nor do you know anything about the OP.

You know nothing about the feelings that each of them might have for each other, you don't seem to care whether or not they may now be in the happiest place of their lives, you just want to shove your personal views of working girls down the OP's throat.

He has asked you to stop stalking him around this thread but you retaliated stating that you were enjoying yourself...at his expense.

You have made wild assumptions based on your (what seems to be) bigoted, negative opinion of Thai prostitutes and/or prostitutes in general. Yet you don't deny sleeping with them yourself.

You then went further to state that all women who just happen to perform legitimate work in a beer bar, or gogo bar, are prostitutes. I have argued to the contrary, not because I like or dislike prostitutes, but because your statement was inaccurate.

You're the one who is applying your contentiousness towards these girls, not I.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I judge people on how they treat me, not what they do for a living....and that includes prostitutes.

I hope all that is perfectly clear to you.

With regard to you not disclosing anything about your relationship or living arrangements, it could be understood that you couldn't handle the type of negative comments that you have made towards the OP and his girl, if similar comments were directed towards you. If you can't take it, think twice before you dish it out.

[William Osborne]

M.Mouse.. take it easy... you'll give yourself a stroke...not sure why your getting so upset

[Mighty Mouse]

M.Mouse.. take it easy... you'll give yourself a stroke...not sure why your getting so upset

I'm not upset at all.

I just can't see what the drama is about a Pattaya ex-pat living with a working prostitute.

The against argument from some is all about health issues and STD's

Is there any difference with a guy waiting his turn to sleep with a prostitute or choosing to live full time with her? The health issues surely are the same.

Is it better for an ex-pat's health to take a different prostitute every night rather than choose one to stay exclusively with him as his mistress?

I'm sure the prudent guy would take the same, necessary precautions, when he has sex with her.

The other against argument is whether there is genuine love in the relationship.

Define 'love' so that we all agree with your definition...and I bet that you can't.

Further, there is an against argument of choosing to live full time with a prostitute because of the perceived social stigma that might be associated with her. Yet, those who are applying this stigma on this thread come to Thailand where they also sleep with prostitutes. That is blatant hypocrisy.

Then, there is more argument about choosing a decent lady from a better occupation. Since when did an occupation have anything to do with finding a decent lady?

What makes a decent lady and what authority is needed to make that judgement?

To my mind finding a partner who is completely compatible with you is more important than her occupation. Occupations can change, but a person's character doesn't.

Look at and consider the whole picture before condemning someone who might just want some normalcy and permanent romance in his life.

Rather than target the OP with your biases, why not debate these points on general terms. That way we stay within the forum rules.

[raro]

Tropo and Mighty Mouse...please do yourself a favour and slow down for a day and post elsewhere. Don't want to give either of you a posting holiday but please agree to disagree, thanks!

[William Osborne]

end of the day... the OP posted his current situation and then finished up asking/ assuming there were more blokes out there in similar situation ???...... think he got a zero confirmation on that one ? .

..TBH, if i had a "mate" that let his GF work as a hooker i would probably avoid him... thats just my opinion, obviously there are people out there with a more liberal view and thats up to them !

Edited April 19, 2013 by William Osborne

[tropo]

Tropo and Mighty Mouse...please do yourself a favour and slow down for a day and post elsewhere. Don't want to give either of you a posting holiday but please agree to disagree, thanks!

Good advice sir. I'm done with Mighty Mouse. I shall not stoke his fire again.

Edited April 19, 2013 by tropo

[detinu68]

end of the day... the OP posted his current situation and then finished up asking/ assuming there were more blokes out there in similar situation ???...... think he got a zero confirmation on that one ? .

..TBH, if i had a "mate" that let his GF work as a hooker i would probably avoid him... thats just my opinion, obviously there are people out there with a more liberal view and thats up to them !

I'm not unique in any way. I know a German guy in a similar situation. His business failed and he and his wife have a 5 yr old daughter to support. And I don't avoid him. He and his wife are good people doing their best to survive in this world.

I'm certain there are many men, living in Pattaya or elsewhere in Thailand in the same kind of relationship as me. They choose not to discuss it, which is their right.

In addition, not everyone visits thaivisa.com, and many expats in Thailand aren't native English speakers so would rarely, if ever, use thaivisa.com.

And then of course there are those out there living in denial. Believing that their partner only has a "normal job" (e.g. 7/11 and Family Mart workers, hotel/hospitality work, travel agencies, real estate office work or restaurant waitresses) and never go with customers; there are hundreds of short-time rooms in Pattaya that cater especially for this kind of business.

So I'm not too surprised that no-one has raised their hand and said "Hey, I'm in the same boat".

But I am surprised at the level of interest this thread has generated.

Edited April 19, 2013 by detinu68

[rayongchelsea]

In the same boat sums it up..not a good expression..denotes disaster ..

I knew a couple of young guys doing this in Phuket in the 80's, the girls the same age,it was a party for them, your 50 plus..playing a game you clearly don't understand..also what is a foreigner doing here earning 35k a month at your age..everything about the op is delusional..

[raro]

One nonsense post and a reply to it removed.

Please do not test my patience too often.

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[detinu68]

In the same boat sums it up..not a good expression..denotes disaster ..

I knew a couple of young guys doing this in Phuket in the 80's, the girls the same age,it was a party for them, your 50 plus..playing a game you clearly don't understand..also what is a foreigner doing here earning 35k a month at your age..everything about the op is delusional..

35k Baht a month is reasonably good money here in Pattaya. Easy to live well when the rent for a modern apartment is only 4,500 + water + electricity a month).

And as long as you live within your means the lifestyle's fantastic in East Pattaya (just far enough away from Beach Road and the nearby tourist spots).

You think I'm delusional? Possibly. Maybe it is all an illusion. But it all seems real to me and very nice indeed thank-you.

Edited April 19, 2013 by detinu68

[William Osborne]

to the OP... Yeah, why wouldn't you be happy getting a freebie every night ...MTFU and take some responsibility....you're GF has 2 kids ?? .. no excuse what you're doing unless you're wheelchair bound so stop trying to find reasons to justify it to yourself ! ...

Edited April 19, 2013 by William Osborne

[tropo]

to the OP... Yeah, why wouldn't you be happy getting a freebie every night ...MTFU and take some responsibility....you're GF has 2 kids ?? .. no excuse what you're doing unless you're wheelchair bound so stop trying to find reasons to justify it to yourself ! ...

The thread is now about the OP justifying his relationship now that no one else has come on board and owned up to living in such an unusual way.

[detinu68]

It's a good life for me.

Regardless what others think.

[detinu68]

8,270 views on this thread so far.

Delighted that the majority of posters think what we're doing is OK (and it is!)

Thanks.

[Tolley]

8,270 views on this thread so far.

Delighted that the majority of posters think what we're doing is OK (and it is!)

Thanks.

I am not sure why you would care what anyone else thinks.

Then again I guess you do otherwise you wouldn't have posted your story.

You almost seem proud about living with a working girl. I cant see any upside really but if that is all you can get and you are happy then so be it.

[Thailaw]

It's a good life for me.

Regardless what others think.

It really (really) isn't a good life for you (or your g/f or anyone else for that matter), regardless of what you may think.

And I use the word "think" very loosely, because I doubt that there has been much "thought" put into your assessment of your "relationship" (again using the term very loosely), other than "hey, this is Pattaya, where all kinds of socially deviant behavior goes on, so my socially deviant behaviour must be ok". And, even in Pattaya, I expect that you are in a class all by yourself, as I doubt that there are any other (any?) 50 year old western men teaching at international schools that have live-in actively engaged bargirl girlfriends. Sorry if that surprises you -- it shouldn't.

And, just out of curiosity, what happens if you are out with your g/f and you run into male colleagues from your school and it turns out that one of the men saw her working in a bar or, better still, had a roll with your g/f last week -- you compare notes?

[nontabury]

As someone who would never contemplate living with a B/G (prostitute)working or ex.I think it's up to the OP,he seems to be happy with the situation,there is no deceit from either the OP or his G/f,and they are not hurting anybody else,each to his own.

[davidst01]

The one thing that would worry me is STDs and AIDs, so are you really being realistic about this relationship?

I guess that as you consider yourself and this woman an item, than you are not using protection when sleeping with her.

Even just by kissing, you maybe exposed to oral herpes, which is not curable. Any diseases carried by her customers, including something serious as TB or even a common cold can be passed on via her to you. This is why it is strongly advised that men must always use a condom if and when having sexual intercourse with prostitutes and even this method is not 100% guaranteed safe.

And this is the main reason why I would not want to be in a relationship with a working girl.

I am absolutely by no means being derogatory towards these particular group of woman, it`s only common sense and a fact that by sleeping with a person, male or female who has multiple sexual partners, you are placing yourself at considerable risk.

For those in the same situation as yourself, I would certainly insist that your partners go for regular medical health and HIV tests. Your life may depend on it.

I totally agree with this comment. If OP's girl kisses a guy she can contract HSV virus or glandular fever. The risk of exposure to other diseases is gross to think about when she comes back to share OP's bed. How can one put up with this?

[raro]

It's a good life for me.

Regardless what others think.

It really (really) isn't a good life for you (or your g/f or anyone else for that matter), regardless of what you may think.

And I use the word "think" very loosely, because I doubt that there has been much "thought" put into your assessment of your "relationship" (again using the term very loosely), other than "hey, this is Pattaya, where all kinds of socially deviant behavior goes on, so my socially deviant behaviour must be ok". And, even in Pattaya, I expect that you are in a class all by yourself, as I doubt that there are any other (any?) 50 year old western men teaching at international schools that have live-in actively engaged bargirl girlfriends. Sorry if that surprises you -- it shouldn't.

And, just out of curiosity, what happens if you are out with your g/f and you run into male colleagues from your school and it turns out that one of the men saw her working in a bar or, better still, had a roll with your g/f last week -- you compare notes?

What is socially deviant behaviour for one is just a choice of lifestyle for others. It is certainly correct that if you want to live your life differently from what is the norm in up country Texas, Pattaya is a place that would come to mind.

Now this puts us in the pickle of defining what an acceptable lifestyle really is. The monogamic marriage as it is promoted by most world religions and other conservative elements in society? The occasional BJ upstairs in Soi 6 that your buddies but not your wife knows about (and therefore makes your marriage look like the option mentioned before even though it is not) ? Or having an open minded relationship where anything goes but the couple that leads this kind of life is happy with each other and has no need to lie/cheat at each other as whatever the other partner does is accepted.

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[rsokolowski]

If it works for you and her, then that is all that matters. Enjoy your life, be safe (use protection), and make sure you do not end up broke. Wish you the best.

[lemoncake]

If it works for you and her, then that is all that matters. Enjoy your life, be safe (use protection), and make sure you do not end up broke. Wish you the best.

He is already broke, this is why he is with her in the first place

[detinu68]

If it works for you and her, then that is all that matters. Enjoy your life, be safe (use protection), and make sure you do not end up broke. Wish you the best.

He is already broke, this is why he is with her in the first place

Wealth is relative.

I have a nice place to live, plenty to eat, nice clothes, a 2 yr old pickup truck, a motorbike and a fully paid for house in England.

And a job I enjoy doing that pays a monthly salary.

Just hanging on for my pensions to kick-in

[William Osborne]

...... why don't you ask her ...." honey, do you think it would be a good idea to sell my house in UK so you don't have to work bar every night in Soi 7"...... just a suggestion like

[jbrain]

On a closer look, the lifestyle of the OP isn't such an extraordinary behaviour. Hundreds if not thousands of Thai men in Pattaya live exactly the same way.

You can recognize them as it are the ones that are always at the snooker tables.