If You Had Your Time Again - Kids Choice?

[1DaySoon]

Gentlemen, I am humbly seeking your opinion.

My wife and I have to get the doctor to assist us to have a Baby, maybe even twins.

Since there is medical intervention, we sort of get a choice

Neither my wife nor I have kids and we live here, in Thailand.

So, my question to you is, if you had your time again, how many kids would you have and, given the choice, in what order would you have them?

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[Boo]

I don't think you can "order" twins.?

Good luck with your fertility treatment, as a mother I would say just having a healthy one is the important thing.

[GooEng]

yep totally agree with Boo - when both mine were on the way all i wanted was healthy birth for baby and mum and happily both my boys arrived happy and healthy and mum too. never gave numbers any thought until the first one, then wanted another to keep him company and now.... i dunno - i wouldn't mind a little girl if there's another one ....

[billd766]

The same as as has happened so far.

A healthy baby boy with my first wife in the UK. He is now 35.

A healthy baby boy with my second wife in Thailand. He is 8 and will be 9 in August.

[FreedomDude]

I have one daughter (7 yrs old). Looking back, she was the best mistake I ever made. Haha!

I often wish we'd had another one about her age so she could have someone to play with in the mornings and evenings. Not having a sibling demands more of my time. On the other hand, I don't think I personally could afford to raise another. So I have mixed feelings on one vs. two.

[fletchsmile]

I wouldn't want twins. I'd prefer 2 to 3, as an even number is often convenient for lots of things.

First one I'd want gender picked at random for the lottery experience just like it would be if conceiving naturally.

Second/next one I might consider choosing the gender, after seeing what the first one turned out like. May want same again or different. Don't know for sure, so I would see how I felt. Choosing gender never came into it for us, and so it wasn't a choice

Of course what I think wouldn't really matter too much. More likely the Mrs would choose.

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BTW On the first one we were initially diagnosed as having a risk of Downs Syndrome. That was a horrible few weeks while we did some extra tests. All sorts of things to think about with that. Most people sort of expect their child will be healthy but wonder if what if they aren't. We were sort of expecting the reverse: baby having an impairment but hoping what if it wasn't.

I think my opinion on a Downs Syndrome child might be different living in Thailand in a cross cultural marriage where some people believe it's your kharma. UK people would be less judgemental and better facilities. We considered abortion.

In the event things turned out all right, after horrible weeks of worry they decided it wasn't Downs syndrome based on tests. So we never had to make that decision. Still not sure what we'd have done.

We were still worried up till the birth though, in case they were wrong. In the end we had a lovely healthy daughter. At that point we were just very happy and relieved everything was OK. I really couldn't have given a **** about the gender at that point, just very relieved, and very happy.

I sometimes look at her and wonder that we nearly made a very bad mistake, and what if we had chosen to have an abortion. That's a strange thought to describe, sad that we might have done that, relieved we didn't, plus a bit of guilt for even thinking about it.

Bottom line: sometimes things just turn out as they were meant to be. Twins/male/female may be things to think about, but in the great scheme of things aren't really important at all. I think deep down you know it really doesn't matter that much either, and it's just icing on the cake for you, at hopefully a time of hope for you both, and something nice to think about together.

Best wishes for success. Hope the procedure works and you have a child (children). My bet is you'll also appreciate the gift(s) regardless of what you end up with

Cheers Fletch

[itchybum]

If you can have twins, not sure that is possible, but go for it.

Think of them having their best friend around all the time etc, thinking same etc.

You also get to get all the hard work done at once, although it is never over, but the younger years when they need your constant help and attention.

Also Thailand is a great place to have kids, so twins would make it doubly so. Nowhere is it cheaper to get nannies and/or a maid to do all the dirty work and you simply enjoy your kids life.

I would love to have more, several in fact, but reality and age kicks in.

[Forethat]

I wouldn't want twins. I'd prefer 2 to 3, as an even number is often convenient for lots of things.

First one I'd want gender picked at random for the lottery experience just like it would be if conceiving naturally.

Second/next one I might consider choosing the gender, after seeing what the first one turned out like. May want same again or different. Don't know for sure, so I would see how I felt. Choosing gender never came into it for us, and so it wasn't a choice

Of course what I think wouldn't really matter too much. More likely the Mrs would choose.

...

BTW On the first one we were initially diagnosed as having a risk of Downs Syndrome. That was a horrible few weeks while we did some extra tests. All sorts of things to think about with that. Most people sort of expect their child will be healthy but wonder if what if they aren't. We were sort of expecting the reverse: baby having an impairment but hoping what if it wasn't.

I think my opinion on a Downs Syndrome child might be different living in Thailand in a cross cultural marriage where some people believe it's your kharma. UK people would be less judgemental and better facilities. We considered abortion.

In the event things turned out all right, after horrible weeks of worry they decided it wasn't Downs syndrome based on tests. So we never had to make that decision. Still not sure what we'd have done.

We were still worried up till the birth though, in case they were wrong. In the end we had a lovely healthy daughter. At that point we were just very happy and relieved everything was OK. I really couldn't have given a **** about the gender at that point, just very relieved, and very happy.

I sometimes look at her and wonder that we nearly made a very bad mistake, and what if we had chosen to have an abortion. That's a strange thought to describe, sad that we might have done that, relieved we didn't, plus a bit of guilt for even thinking about it.

Bottom line: sometimes things just turn out as they were meant to be. Twins/male/female may be things to think about, but in the great scheme of things aren't really important at all. I think deep down you know it really doesn't matter that much either, and it's just icing on the cake for you, at hopefully a time of hope for you both, and something nice to think about together.

Best wishes for success. Hope the procedure works and you have a child (children). My bet is you'll also appreciate the gift(s) regardless of what you end up with

Cheers Fletch

Pure class. Thanks for this!

[krisb]

After my wife having my 1st, I realise ones not enough! They are just so damn cute.

Here's the thing. My wife was very high chance of down syndrome. It stressed me out so much with worry it was terrible. All you want is a healthy baby. That's it. Lucky she was.

All the best! They are gorgeous babies half Thais.

BTW, there is a cool thread with lots of members half Thai kids pics on here. Mines on there amongst em.(sorry, proud dad)...

Edited May 8, 2013 by krisb

[1DaySoon]

Thanks for all your thoughts above ... my wife and I do consider all of them.

This subject deals with the moral and ethical side of the argument.

Elsewhere on this Forum, I wanted to show the biological side of the process.

For those who are having troubles conceiving, our story is below.

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/605048-baby-making-a-personal-journey/

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