Help - Urgent

[eezergood]

Me & my current partner want to get married later this year. She was married about 8 yrs ago, after lots of Visa issues her 'husband' decided he had had enough & went back to the UK. They have never lived as man & wife, he promised to sign divorce papers but so far has not & will not respond tp emails, calls etc....

They have now not seen each other for over 6 years, what do we do? Any good lawyer recomendations?

[Mario2008]

If he doesn't want a divore, the only option is to go to court and file for divorce based on abandonment.

Lawyer recommandations will depend on where she lives (is registered in the houshold book).

[eezergood]

OK, please forgive my stupidity.

She lives in Phuket, him in Scotland/England. Would you happen to know the terms of abondonment & the time it will take?

[Mario2008]

Terms of abondonment is at least 1 year being away. The time depends on his cooperation, if he doesn't cooperate, several summonses must be made before the judge will give his ruling. So than it can take 1 year, if he cooperates and appears it can take a few months.

If he would agree to a divorce and is willing to travel to Thailand it can be done in 30 minutes at the amphur.

Some info here: http://thailawonline.com/en/family/divorce-in-thailand/how-to-divorce.html

Don't now a good lawyer in Phuket, you can ask on the Phuket forum.

[eezergood]

MArio thanks, you are a star!

[kblaze]

Great to see you were helped, but you shouldn't make a title that says "Help-Urgent" as "urgent" implies immediate, and your situation does not need "immediate" help.

[rgs2001uk]

so far has not & will not respond tp emails, calls etc....

None of my business however tread carefully.

Who told you he doesnt reply?

My best advice to you is send an e-mail to the husband and explain the situation, you may not like the reply.

A friend of mine is one such guy, his mrs ripped him off sin sot etc etc, he packed his bags and went home.

His wife met another sucker and wanted to marry him but couldnt, the friend said you want a divorce, pay my ticket to come to Thailand, never heard from her again.

Another guy I knew was told the same "buffalo story", a load of BS, she wasnt married but had spun a line to the new farang sucker on the block about being married bad farang wont give divorce, you pay money we can marry quickly etc etc.

Tread carefuly, and under no circumtsances part with any money.

[cobra1]

you sure i'am not her husband been married to my thai wife 8 years and separated 4 it suits me not to divorce coz get o marriage visa coz kept all copies of family blue book and id card and original married document when i renew i just say my wife not well and bring along some donuts 4 the staff easy 4 me

[Wombat6]

Bit old fashioned to get married.....why do it unless you need to...ie....to get a Marriage Visa ???

A lot easier down the track if you decide you have had enough of the relationship and take off.

Who told you that your partner and her husband never lived together as a couple.....a bit hard to believe unless he used her for Visa reasons

[mrwebb8825]

married 8 years and haven't seen each other for 6? well....maybe not living together as "man and wife" as she's in Phuket.

anyway; were they married in Thailand or the UK?

if Thailand, then just have her go down to the amphere's office with crying towel in 1 hand and a couple thousand baht in the other.

if the UK, then contact the embassy.

[Khunangkaro]

Quotes:"....She was married about 8 yrs ago,....They have never lived as man & wife...."

So? Why did they marry? IMHO Sounds fishy. Sorry!

How well/long do you know your partner and her family?

Did you ever see her "Thai National ID Card"?

If she was married her "Name" must be "Mrs. xxx" and "Last name yyy", yyy=name of UK 'husband'.

I would also check ALL (three) marriage certificates.

If you not can read/understand, make copies and ask friend.

Not need to be shy, this serious matter must be transparent.

I wish you good luck and happiness.

[HerbalEd]

OK, please forgive my stupidity.

She lives in Phuket, him in Scotland/England. Would you happen to know the terms of abondonment & the time it will take?

A divorce lawyer would know ... and everything else you need to know.

[HerbalEd]

you sure i'am not her husband been married to my thai wife 8 years and separated 4 it suits me not to divorce coz get o marriage visa coz kept all copies of family blue book and id card and original married document when i renew i just say my wife not well and bring along some donuts 4 the staff easy 4 me

Aren't you clever.

[h5kaf]

so far has not & will not respond tp emails, calls etc....

None of my business however tread carefully.

Who told you he doesnt reply?

My best advice to you is send an e-mail to the husband and explain the situation, you may not like the reply.

A friend of mine is one such guy, his mrs ripped him off sin sot etc etc, he packed his bags and went home.

His wife met another sucker and wanted to marry him but couldnt, the friend said you want a divorce, pay my ticket to come to Thailand, never heard from her again.

Another guy I knew was told the same "buffalo story", a load of BS, she wasnt married but had spun a line to the new farang sucker on the block about being married bad farang wont give divorce, you pay money we can marry quickly etc etc.

Tread carefuly, and under no circumtsances part with any money.

This is very sound advice, though some might consider a little 'cynical'. Life here makes us this way.

When I met my wife 13 years ago she told me she was single and had never had a child. I was understandably delighted at my luck and ignoring all the warning advice from friends, considered that my lady was "different". After about 18 months when marriage came to the discussion table it appeared that she did have a child. No problem I was in love and forgave that little lapse of memory. Later on at the discussion table it appeared that she could not marry "just yet" as she had to go to her local amphur for the necessary papers. This turned out to be that she had to divorce her existing (non existent) husband before she could marry me. Still very much in love I stumped up the 30,000 baht necessary to persuade her husband to divorce her.

This is my story, real life, not some tale heard in the local bar. We now have our own children and I still love her - a little. I have come to the conclusion that telling lies is woven into the very fabric of Thai female society. Just be aware of the possible potential stumbling blocks, cross your fingers and enjoy the ride.

[eezergood]

Ok guys thanks for the advice - mostly as I expected some level of negativity.

I have emailed, facebooked, called & called a family member - No response from him, only an elderly Aunt who has been promising to help but so far NOTHING.

NO lies told she was upfront when the relationship became serious.

We been together 3 yrs ish & yes I have seen her ID card many times - current original Certificates are with a lawyer that has been trying to deal with the case, but at Buffalo speed!

Have spoken to a divorce lawyer, but been quoted what seems an excessive amount & was not entirely comfortable with them as they seemed a bit dodgy.

Situation as it stands is that we cannot get married & we want to, as to why well thats not really relevant but helps me out a lot financially. SO any recomendations or further insights?

[eezergood]

Great to see you were helped, but you shouldn't make a title that says "Help-Urgent" as "urgent" implies immediate, and your situation does not need "immediate" help.

I do & we have hit another block - the urgency part relates to my unborn son. SO to me its urgent

[eezergood]

married 8 years and haven't seen each other for 6? well....maybe not living together as "man and wife" as she's in Phuket.

anyway; were they married in Thailand or the UK?

if Thailand, then just have her go down to the amphere's office with crying towel in 1 hand and a couple thousand baht in the other.

if the UK, then contact the embassy.

MArried in Thailand, UK embassy did not even have the marriage registered!!! You think your "plan" has a real chance? if so off we go

[eezergood]

Bit old fashioned to get married.....why do it unless you need to...ie....to get a Marriage Visa ???

A lot easier down the track if you decide you have had enough of the relationship and take off.

Who told you that your partner and her husband never lived together as a couple.....a bit hard to believe unless he used her for Visa reasons

They used each other for visa reasons, when they hit a few stunbling blocks he did a runner. This was his 2nd wife, she didnt get the visa as the first one went AWOL in the UK!

[Phronesis]

OK, please forgive my stupidity.

She lives in Phuket, him in Scotland/England. Would you happen to know the terms of abondonment & the time it will take?

Can someone please explain to me, in the simplest of terms, like I was a small child, or a labrador, what is marriage?

[ABCer]

married 8 years and haven't seen each other for 6? well....maybe not living together as "man and wife" as she's in Phuket.

anyway; were they married in Thailand or the UK?

if Thailand, then just have her go down to the amphere's office with crying towel in 1 hand and a couple thousand baht in the other.

if the UK, then contact the embassy.

MArried in Thailand, UK embassy did not even have the marriage registered!!! You think your "plan" has a real chance? if so off we go

When she goes to Amphur with a crying towel and money it would be good to bring the doctors certificate confirming she is pregnant.

Do not take this as an insult, but a DNA test would enable the doctor to confirm that you are the father. Please don't get mad, I'm just an old man and have seen it all. Best wishes

[eezergood]

Not mad, but very easy to see that she is pregnant! DNA - that would be worth a shout.

OK, please forgive my stupidity.

She lives in Phuket, him in Scotland/England. Would you happen to know the terms of abondonment & the time it will take?

Can someone please explain to me, in the simplest of terms, like I was a small child, or a labrador, what is marriage?

How is that relevant to the question I posed? Marriage is the woof of woof woof for woof! clear as woof

[rgs2001uk]

I advise you not to let the husband know his wife is pregnant, he may sue your ass off for adultrey.

[eezergood]

I advise you not to let the husband know his wife is pregnant, he may sue your ass off for adultrey.

My child! they havent seen each other for over 6 years!

Back to my original post, does anyone know a good family lawyer?\

[rbrooks]

I will use the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principle on this one. Take your money and run very far away.

[BookMan]

OP I hope you have learned your lesson.

Next time , before you make a big personal decision in life, like getting married, don't forget to run it by the ThaiVisa experts first

[XINLOI]

A little tip. Was your fiancee married in the traditional(home) marrige or was it done in connection with the govt. Most weddings at the home, are not legally binding to either party. The dowry paid is just permission to play house from her parents. Most countries will not even recognize the marriage because it is not legal and binding.

[Iusedtocycle]

Not mad, but very easy to see that she is pregnant! DNA - that would be worth a shout.

For DNA check they have to take a sample from your unborn child which means a needle in through the womb. Best avoided.

Not sure what your problem is for a rush marriage but I was married a month after my son was born. On the back of the marriage cert they add the details of the baby age, name etc... and you are at that point fully liable for the baby.

The time inbetween the birth and signing the marriage cert you have no legal responsibility but you can still get your name as father, baby gets your surname on the birthcertificate. So it doesn't make any difference (?) unless your wife to be decides to do a runner with the baby.

[anon210]

I advise you not to let the husband know his wife is pregnant, he may sue your ass off for adultrey.

My child! they havent seen each other for over 6 years!

Back to my original post, does anyone know a good family lawyer?\

At law, as long as she is still married, the child will be the child of the husband who is always presumed to be the father.

The intention of the lawmakers was to provide a family for all the kids born out of adultery.

Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[Longtooth]

I advise you not to let the husband know his wife is pregnant, he may sue your ass off for adultrey.

Oh yes, don't ignore this post. 100% TRUE. I'm wondering if jail is even possible, in Thailand.

[eezergood]

I will use the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) principle on this one. Take your money and run very far away.

I will use the d!ck head principle! am sure you undertsand, if you have nothing to contribute take your bar girls and play elsewhere